Perdue Chicken Thighs

Sorry vegetarians, the lacto-ovo life was killing me. The only reason I'm living the lacto-ovo life in the first place (apart from cost and fatigue, I guess) is that my grocery store has been out of non-store-brand chicken breasts for several months now. I was starting to think Perdue went out of business. But, they didn't, because they recently started stocking "Chicken Thighs". I love chicken thighs. As you can see, they have skin on, but I wasn't sure if they had bones in (they do) and there was absolutely no indication of this on the package. I should have used pragmatics to conclude that if it didn't say boneless, it must be boned (bone-in?), but grocery labelling is honestly worse at pragmatics than me, so IDK. A bone-in chicken thigh is a little bit like duck. It's fatty and delicious. (I just released that 2 of my favorite (live) birds are also 2 of my favorite meats, which is kind of weird, but that's #farmlife for you I guess). I cold roasted these with shallot and carrot and now I'm living the good life for the rest of the week. When I was a kid, we never had any bone-in or skin-on meat because of diet culture (or, charitably, health culture), and so I only had it on vacation, which is probably why it is so decadent to me now. I don't even eat the skin! But I could!! It's the little things.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [10.50$, but that's 4-8 meals, so, worth it]
Taste: 7/10 

Signature Select Boneless Skinless Chicken Thighs

Behold! My store now has chicken thighs! This is great news for protein-lovers, but mid news for allergy-havers, because store brand meat/deli/bakery stuff all has the same allergy disclaimer (processed with every ingredient you can name, and more). And there are nut-containing meats (mortadella), so there is a little bit of legitimate fear with something like this as far as shared cutting surfaces, counters, gloves, etc. Buuut this is just chicken (ingredients: chicken) and from inspection, there don't look like any non-chicken residues, so I figure it's a reasonable risk (even though I'd much rather any actual company > in-store(?) butchery). I also don't really need 8 thighs (that's 3.5lbs), even for a big crock-pot recipe, so I had to do the gross repackaging-and-freezing-and-labelling dance, but I guess these work out to like 1.75$/thigh, which is a good deal (certainly cheaper than the 5 breasts for 13-15$ bag). Thighs are also more delicious than other chicken parts (sorry to discuss chicken parts on main). And while we're at it, I also doubt the ethics of store brand chicken... but we all make our little choices. 

Anyway, taste is good. Nice moist chicken. Shockingly fatty after a full year of breast-only life (aha), but that's a plus for me. The "bbq" sauce I slow cooked it in was just like, tomato paste (in flavor), so that was a disappointment, and I may have cooked it a little too far into mushiness, but I think those were user error and not chicken failure.  

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10 

Perdue Thin Sliced Chicken Breasts

It's kinda messed up that people wanted plumper chicken breasts, so they selectively bred massive birds, and now the breasts are TOO BIG so they're selling these "thin cutlet" packages instead (at a premium price point). But a lot of things are kinda messed up, aren't they?

Anyway, I spent a pretty penny on these, but it was worth it to make a nice herby chicken dish. These cook quickly (~8min), taste good, and didn't have any weirdnesses (or pee smell, but I didn't use the oven...). Actually, they had one weirdness: the outside of the package smelled so, so bad, but all the meat in my jank-city grocery store is like that, especially on Saturdays. Luckily the inside was uneventful. I was surprised that there were like 6-7 pieces in a 1.5lb package (5 normie chickens, 2 surprise "oh that's separate" chickens), but I guess that's the whole point. Thin chicken is certainly more delightful than thick chicken. Convenient. If I were rich I'd be buying these weekly I bet.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10

Swanson White Chunk Chicken - Original

Chicken in a pouch?! I'm allergic to tuna, and I'm allergic to most canned meat in soups etc (due to soy), so I never ever considered that pouch chicken was an option. But the ingredients here are just chicken and water, no soy or bean juice. I was still scared, but it was fine. Well, the texture and smell is kinda gross -- gloopy like cat food. But it tastes like chicken, albeit wet, salty chicken. It's good to have a shelf-stable protein option though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

PERDUE PERFECT PORTIONS - Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast All Natural

OK, so these are perfect because the only ingredient is Chicken. I wasn't actually sure because there are no ingredients listed on the package, but online confirms it! And I never want more than one breast at a time, so these are great for me (although probs not for earth; sorry earth). I usually defrost in the microwave and pan fry, but this bag has instructions on different cooking ways, and one is "oven from frozen", so I figured I'd try that (30min on 350). Unfortunately my meat thermometer is out of commission, so I'm praying it worked! The 30 minutes didn't seem like enough, since it was still pretty pink, so I gave it another 15 minutes and that seemed good. The chicken was tasty and slightly dry but not burnt. Tasted like chicken and was filling and a normal chicken texture. Unfortunately my insides are still broken, but I don't think that's this chicken's fault!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Perdue Simply Smart Organics Lightly Breaded Chicken Breast Dino Nuggets

The idea of a dino nugget is cute. These are still soy free and decently microwavable (still gotta try oven); however, I actually think the gluten free nugs might be tastier. The breading is just 'nothing' here and they're very thin. IDK.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Perdue Simply Smart Organics Gluten Free Breaded Chicken Breast Nuggets

I didn't notice these were gluten free and organic when buying them -- all I care about is that they don't have legumes and that they're a new nugget in the rotation! And they filled those criteria. But you can really tell these are different -- the breading is more like panko than typical breading. They smell normal, though, and unlike a lot of the other ones, microwaving them is not very different from oven baking them. So they're very convenient for that. A good snack to have around.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 7/10

Perdue Crispy Chicken Strips

Perdon't stop me from my Perdue binge! After delighting in soy-free chicken for weeks, I got a new kind to try. These are bigger, crispy-coated strips, but the ingredients look pretty similar. One annoying thing about these is that the serving size is in ounces, so I don't know how many a serving is. I guessed it was 2, but it might be 1, or more likely something like 1.3. Stupid serving sizes. Anyway, I tried making them in the oven, and I actually took them out 2 minutes early (I mixed up the timer noise with my oven preheat noise (I reject preheating in my life)) but they seemed well-done! Anyway, maybe they could have been even better. But these were solid. My chicken experiments are getting tastier as I go. They have a nice crispy outside, a good amount of breading, and a moist, non-weird chickeny inside. I mean this as a complement: they taste like chicken tenders from a chain restaurant. KFC, even. Now I don't love chicken tenders as a food, so maybe my assessment is skewed, but I really thought these were solid. They were better without a sauce, but maybe I'm just sick of Heinz Hot 57 and I'm thinking about buying a BBQ sauce just to continue my chicken exploits. Primarily with these, maybe. Nice. Filling, too, so 2 is a good serving.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [11$ish]
Taste: 7/10

Perdue Chicken Breast Tenders

Let me give Perdue diligence to these: I made them in the oven and they did have a nice crisp on the bottom. The shape is good and the resealable bag is good too. It's so hard for me to internalize that something with this taste and texture isn't full of legumes, so I'm still kinda sketched out and therefore I think I like them less than most people do. The texture is kind of weird and unnatural, even though these are "all white meat" it's definitely processed big time. But I'm not allergic, and these are a convenient source of protein ready to be dipped. I do like them more than fries and fry type things, and they're faster to cook too (16min). I guess I'll try the microwave next to see if it's much worse. These are better than the John Soules nugs, but only very slightly. They're quite similar really.

Update: in the microwave, even at the low end of the time range, they were so chewy and spongy and dry and stale and the texture was noticeably bad. Still edible, but the oven is better no doubt.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (8$, I think?)
Taste: 7/10

John Soules Foods Fully Cooked Nuggets

Frankly these are not bad, although I'd never pick chicken nuggets over any other options like burger, hot dog, noodle, salad, etc, a lot of that prejudice probably comes from being a kid and not knowing I was allergic to soy and eating nuggets that made me feel bad inside. These are soy free, but they basically taste like they aren't, which is good and bad I guess. Very processed, and you can microwave them, which is chill. Occasionally there are unchewable little firm bits, which skeeves me out. In the oven, they take much longer, and I'm not sure the payoff is worth it -- they are marginally crispier (but still not at all crispy lol) and drier, which is slightly preferable, so if you aren't in a rush I guess go far it. But it isn't a shocking difference or anything.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Perdue Flavor-Infused Greek-Inspired Diced Chicken

Your girl overdid it on the pre-cooked chicken, it seems! Like the chili flavor, this was decent, and I'm glad I used less oil this time. It was still slightly wet for my liking, and a lemonier taste kinda sorta came through. In the end, it's just too much meat. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Perdue Flavor-Infused Green Chili Diced Chicken

I used too much oil in the pan here (2-3 Tbsp is way, way too much) and I burned myself and also got a bit of the ol' tummy ache. Nevertheless, this was pretty good (though fatty meat bits even without the oil); it tastes like... chicken. Makes 2 solid servings for pita or whatever.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [9.50ish]
Taste: 7/10

Raising Cane's

More New Orleans shenanigans -- I couldn't find a single non-nut fast food chain in walking distance from my hotel except for this one, which was in a mall food court. Unfortunately, I don't really like chicken fingers (I never order them elsewhere), but beggars can't be choosers. I do like the idea of a limited menu, but it works more for me at In 'N Out or Chipotle than it does here. Anyway. I got the Box Combo, which I assume is "the default meal". It had 4 chickens (greasy and boring, but fine), fries (same), a texas toast slice (kinda fun, buttery), and cole slaw (surprisingly good slaw). Also a drink and a cup of their special sauce (slightly spicy mayochup?). It was decent and definitely filling, but made me feel like a trash can. Ah well, I'm still grateful this place was around!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

KFC

Holy heck, I haven't reviewed KFC yet? This is a shocker. KFC is a solid fast food chain in my book because apart from their desserts, they've always been nut free. One tragic point in my past is that the chocolate chip cookie that came with all their box meals used to be safe for me, per the website menu anyway, and I ate it every few months and it was a fresh warm cookie and one of my only joys in dessert-life. And then once I checked the menu and it was no longer safe. RIP cookie. But their chicken is still fine, and I like the biscuit and cole slaw a lot. Today I decided to go partially because I'm super stressed out but also because I was getting gas from the Wawa next door and I wanted a treat for doing the stressful gas-getting. (Long story I guess). Anyway, KFC is cool.

Spicy Famous Bowl: This was off-menu and cost 3.99 instead of 3$, but that's still a solid deal per calorie. This is mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, popcorn chicken, shredded cheese, and hot sauce drizzle. It was super hot and is giving me mad reflux. But it was good enough, warm and filling. I liked the potatoes and gravy a lot; the rest was just OK. I would say it was good but too spicy for my tastes! 7/10

Regular Famous Bowl: OK, this was weird. They made it nicely, lots of gravy and fresh and the cheese was nice and melty on top. But now that I could taste it, that was weird. I mixed it with a frozen bag of brocco and cauliflower lol. It was filling and warm but made me freak out about allergies, which is maybe dumb but IDK, I think my soy thing is actually legit now that I read about other people who can't eat canned soups and frozen chickens. The gravy might be sketch! But anyway, it tasted OK. Lol. The potatoes had that floral taste. I like the gravy but it was spooky. 6/10

Popcorn Chicken Combo: I got this with Mountain Dew and Cole Slaw, and also it comes with a biscuit. The chicken is a little box and I didn't get a dipping sauce because the server didn't have a mask and I was distracted. Anyway, Allergy Genius me didn't realise there's potentially soy protein in the popcorn chicken (per their good allergy menu), but I ate it before and lived so I ate it again even though I've been avoiding all soy protein. I lived, again, though it was scary I didn't really get any itchiness. Apart from that the chicken tastes good but I'd never repeat this, it is too scary. Slaw/'scuit/dew were are tops. 4/10 for fear, 7/10 taste. 

Finger Lickin' Good Sauce: I am aware this is not a meal, but you can get some for free with a meal (as I did with my #3 3 piece combo) so I was excited to try it out. But to be honest, it didn't live up to the hype for me. Allergen free but not especially tangy/spicy/savory, just kinda an oily version of thousand island dressing almost. Maybe it is better with fries than with chicken, but I think I'd rather have BBQ sauce than this! 5/10

 

Crispy Colonel Box: The Crispy Colonel is a chicken sandwich made to compete with Popeyes, I guess, cause it's got a pickle and a tiny bit of mayo-that-tastes-like-tartar-sauce on the bottom. The sandwich itself is pretty good, the chicken is fresh and moist and not too greasy, and they didn't overdo it on the mayo. The bun was a little old (and firm), but it tasted very neutral. The box comes with popcorn chicken, which is fine but soy-containing, and cole slaw which I love, and their new fries, which I don't really like -- they look fun but have basically no seasoning. However I also asked for 2 packs of BBQ sauce with this, so that made the fries (and the chicken) a lot tastier. This is also a ton of food, probably good for 2 meals. I didn't even drink the Pepsi that comes with it! 6/10 sandwich, 5/10 box (box is 10$, not very cheap!)

3 piece chicken combo: This is #3, and it comes with 2 wings and a drumstick. I like the wings, they are like smaller thighs. The drummie is OK. The biscuit I got was super hard, but I think the Lebanon KFC is just bad (sorry, dad). Cole slaw is bangin' as always. Pepsi was a lil watery. It is what it is. 6/10

Sweet Lightning Mountain Dew: This is a limited edition flavor of Dew! It's supposedly peach and honey. The peach is very real. It tastes like peach rings candy, which it turns out, I don't really like. Massively inferior to regular mountain dew. It is a fun color and tastes more juice than soda, which is neat, but it's just not for me. Glad I collected this rare bird anyway, though (on a road trip to see my favorite band! but with weird medical problems that prevent me from fully enjoying any thing :( ) 5/10

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (Usually very cheap for a meal - 5$!)
Taste: 7/10

Q says "It's pretty bad. 3/10"

Pachamama

I was looking forward to trying this place, since it moved into the location of two of my favorite sit-down nut-free restos (Del Pez and Cucina Di Napoli). And indeed it turned out to be a worthy successor! I got the 1/4 chicken with stir fry rice and the salad, and it was all tasty and fun. You get 3 dipping sauces to try, all of which are decent and unique (not earthshattering though). The chicken itself is very tender and juicy, the stir fry rice was super gingery but didn't kill me, which I love, and the salad was a standard good small salad. I also got a sangria which was big and good, and a Corona which was pricy but also...good. A fun experience! I'm trying to convince someone to go back with me.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Mighty Spark Jalapeno & Honey Chicken Snack Stick

This was pretty good! My biggest issue with snacky meat sticks is usually the texture, but I thought the texture of these was great - not too chewy or dry (or wet) or anything like that, just a nice pliable meat bite. It did contain some kind of odd crisp bits (I guess bits of jalepeno?) that threw me off, but I still liked the texture overall. The taste was also pleasant; it's a little sweet and a little spicy, and tastes kind of like a chicken street taco. So, a good experience, and overall satisfying especially for only 60 cals. Plus, very portable and also nut-free!




Overall
Cost: 5/10 [About 1.70 per stick]
Taste: 8/10

Uncle Dougie's Wicked Good Wing Marinade

I think "wicked good" might be a bit of an exaggeration, but then again, this was my first time making my own chicken wings, so I also learned that I don't love homemade chicken wings (or any chicken wings that aren't slathered in BBQ sauce). I followed the bottle instructions and let these marinate for about 30 minutes (it smelled very vinegary, like Easter!) and then cooked them for 1hr+ in the oven. First of all, that was way too long and they were burnt. Second of all, the marinade didn't leave much flavor behind, just a vague hot sauce/spicyness. I didn't like it one bit. And it didn't seem like it'd be tasty to pour more on top. I need BBQ sauce! This is for people who love basic plain chicken wings I think. :6



Overall
Cost: 4/10 (I used 1/3 of the bottle, which costs about 5-6$)
Taste: 4/10