Hatfield Applewood Smoked Bacon - Classic Cut

This sure makes a lot of bacon! Whew. It also sure took longer to cook than I'd expected (like 1 hour for the whole pack) and produced a lot more grease, etc. I'm just not cut out to make my own bacon, I think. Or at least not on the stove. But anyway, even though the cooking process was long (maybe 12min per strip) and confusing (when is the fat cooked?!), and the taste right away was nothing special, I put the leftovers in the fridge and gnawed on them for a few days, and then I really missed the cold bacons when they were gone. So ... not a huge fan, but I see why people get into bacon.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Wild Cherry Pepsi

I remember being a youngster at my grandma's house and a huge huge fan of these (along with my cousin Jeffy!), they were one of my favorite sodas hands down. Then again, I never really liked soda *that* much. And today, I find myself highly unimpressed. However, this particular iteration was, to be fair, from a vending machine and very expired. It was still "OK" -- very sweet. Very bad for you. Ultimately, I didn't finish the bottle. How our heroes have fallen!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Vermont Smoke & Cure - Honey Mustard Turkey Sticks

These are cute -- yellow labels for mustard and honey! So sensible. This flavor is good, but not great. It's healthier in terms of calories, being turkey and not beef/pork, and it feels healthier too if you know what I mean. A bit "dry" compared to the roni types. Not a super strong honey flavor or mustard flavor -- mostly meat flavor. A tiny bit of spice, but the spice is mainly like, black pepper.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

J.L. Kraft Garlic Aioli

The fact that Kraft gets initials when it wants to be fancy is very funny to me. I would like some J.L. Kraft Singles please. One J.L. Kraft Easy Mac to go please. Absurd!

I got this for a recipe. It's pretty niche in my diet, unfortunately, since I don't have any fries on hand (or like, bread). It tastes, basically, like mayo with a strong garlic flavor. Very strong garlic flavor! I'm sure there are places where this is good. Egg salad, as it happens, is not one of those places. I suspect a roast beef or turkey sandwich could do with it.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

2017 Odile Delpon Cahors

I think I might be having too much wine these days -- I got a lil redfaced and dizzy tonight after drinking this one! I've been lucky to have so many nut-free Mary Taylors to enjoy. This is another new one, although it's a Malbec, so nothing too zany. I enjoyed it; my first instinct was that it was a little gamey(!) but it faded quickly and became kind of "generic red" -- not too thick or thin or acidic or anything off base. Not super fruity either, but that's OK. It held up for 3 pretty solid similar days. Sadly, no bean soup for me, but I do like soup in winter and I bet that'd go with this nicely.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [17$]
Taste: 6/10

Lender's Plain Bagels (Frozen)

Gosh, my grocery store stopped selling all flavors of Lender's bagels, so I got to buy about 1 pack post-lockdown before they went away, and I'm so upset about it! These are really convenient, especially now that I have a good toaster. My bag did have a little bit of freezer burn going on, but I guess that's because they were selling off the bottom of the storage unit of bagels or whatever. Sniff. These are good, tasty bagels, and really good for little sandwiches too. I hope to find them again if I ever switch grocery stores!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Orangina

Gosh, there was someone in my life who was into these, and it was the first time I ever heard of them -- but I don't recall if it's my awesome friend from college whose name starts with "R", or my awesome friend from grad school whose name starts with "R". Either way, I miss them and adore the fuzzy memory I have of them talking about Orangina, which sounds like a name I'd give my doll as a child.

As for the drink: It's not bad! Like sweet, fizzy orange juice. Like a mimosa with no alcohol. Sweet and tangy. Obviously super sugary though, aka bad for you and not something I want to start consuming on a regular basis because of that. But tasty!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

2017 Christophe Avi Buzet

Another Mary Taylor pick! You love to see it. This is a mix of Merlot and CabSav, aka 2 classic reds, so it's no surprise that it basically tastes like... a classic red. I do like that it's not sugary, as the prose mentions. A little bit of those winter red fruit vibes, which is appropriate for the season. When cold, it got a little 'thicker' in mouthfeelings, but overall not too different and not too degraded. An enjoyable, warm red. 

I paired this with the recommended Coffee-Rubbed Cheeseburgers with Texas Barbecue Sauce (see picture - so many burgers and meats with these wines! where's the CAKES and NOODLE? :p), and it was a little bit labor intensive for the end of October (school's getting to me), but tasted good, and was a good pairing. All good news here.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [18$]
Taste: 6/10

BBQ Pringles

I really like Pringles as a car snack (minus the messiness of crumbs), and these are much better than Original flavor ones. A very solid snack, and not as salty as a noodle pack either.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Martin's Slider Potato Rolls

Martin's is great. Nut free facility, sesame is an ingredient but it's not actually in there. Tastes great for sandwiches, and, ostensibly, burgers. They grilled up in a pan really nicely too, which I'd never tried before. These sliders are also the perfect size, I think they're better than the full sizers. "Yummy", says I.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Peet's Caramel Brûlée K-Cup Pods

An email to the company has convinced me there are no nut issues here, so that's a plus. The flavor is pretty mild - a light artificial, caramelly flavor. It's no Dunkin, but it's OK.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Classico Traditional Pizza Sauce

This was good! You can't tell from the picture, but the jar is cute and little, not like a big pasta sauce jar. I still didn't use it all, of course. It tasted like pizza sauce, not too sweet or weird or anything. Very cool.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Premio Sweet Italian Sausage

I got this to make a Big Sausage Pizza, and it was really good. The pizza, I mean, but the sausage did its job and didn't make me ill. This is clutch, because it contains FENNEL and I didn't know if I was allergic to FENNEL -- I emailed the company and asked if their sausages always had fennel, since I think I bought these sometime 8-10 years ago (lol) and lived, and they wrote back so kindly, telling me "ya". So anyway, it was a successful little experiment, and I was happy to enjoy these, even thought sausages are a little bit gross to cook with. They tasted pretty good. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

2020 Secret Identity Rosé

Ah, you know it, you love it, Secret Identity Rosé! I love the bottle design and shape, and I love the company that produces this wine. I don't love the wine itself (sadly) but I don't hate it either. It's very sour for a rosé! And acidic, too, which is what I don't love. I think it's better warm than cold, because night 2 was a little rough -- hard to finish, which is never what you want. Still love 'em though, even if I'm meant to pair this with squid (c'mon).

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [18$]
Taste: 6/10

Wewalka Classic Pizza Crust

This was great, and somehow it even said that it was nut free! Amazing, since I had happened upon it in the refrigerated aisle and was honestly just looking for Pillsbury or something. It is already formed into a large, rectangular crust, though, so my shaping it into a small circle of dough wasn't easy, but I did it anyway, and it cooked up nicely and was so layered and buttery and flaky. It was really nice stuff.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Vermont Smoke and Cure - BBQ Beef Sticks

These were good, even though they're beef and not pork, they tasted like a cherry ham slice. A little mild BBQ smoke flavor too, I guess? Overall a solid filling snack, like mosta these VSC bad boys.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

fairlife 2% lactose free milk

At first, this tasted very warm and thick, which was weird and not good. But once I adapted a little, it tasted fine. No noticeable difference in my stomachaches, but still a good product, I guess. Lasts longer anyway.

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Fig Newtons

I don't even like figs that much, honest! But here's another classic fig treat. These are classic for me because they're vaguely healthy, so my parents had 'em around when I was a kiddo, and also because they don't have any nuts, so they are one of the rare cookies I can eat off the shelves. I always liked them fairly well -- they're filling! But this time I thought, dang, these are really sweet -- did they make them sweeter? Is this just aging?! They're good(ish), but maybe too sweet for my blood.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Braswell's Fig Preserve

This is a weird item for me to consume, but I got it as part of a recipe for ham and cheese toasties. If only I had access to Lender's bagels, I could actually eat the remains! For now, I can tell you that it tastes like sweet seedy jam -- certainly tastes of fig, but also a little bit of "peachy" vibe to it. It's also an appealing orangey brown color. Even better, the company answered my message and told me they are a nut-free facility! Huzzah! I should really get some bread or something to give this its proper due.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Grey Poupon Mustard - Country Dijon

This is fancy stuff! A mustard in a jar, well I never. Truly, I never, until I had this. It ultimately tastes like mustard. More brown than yellow, with textural firm mustard seeds and a sweeter taste rather than vinegary. I do like it, and it makes me feel posh, but I'm not sure that it is superior to your plastic squeezy French's spicy brown, either.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Schweppes Ginger Ale

This is certainly ginger ale. To be fair, I got a very expired bottle from a campus vending machine, so it's no wonder it wasn't as good as a fresh can, with ice, in an airplane (my usual ginger-ale drinking place). But it didn't have much to recommend it. No caffeine, lots of sugar, not much flavor. It's a drink though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Sour Skittles

These are good! Chewy and fruity and sour sugar on top. However, they can really tear your mouth up, especially if you eat more than a few (which like, duh). Better than OG Skittles in the moment, though. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

2019 Cellier des Chartreux, Chapelle Saint-Martin, Côtes Du Rhône Réserve

A passable red, for sure. Made my tongue feel very thick and tingly, but other than that (!), no issues. A little spicy vibe. Possibly improved a bit when cold, a nice Survivor wine and pleasant for 3 days each. Also listed as "a red wine to brood with", which I did, too, as I listened to ladies-and-gentlemen-The Weeknd and reflected on how I wasted my life. An accurate description!

I also post-hoc paired this with the Coffee-Rubbed Steak [see foggy picture], which was OK, but not amazing for the time and money involved (many spices). The coffee didn't even come through that much, it just tasted like vaguely...Trinidadian food. To be fair, I did overcook it a little.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [17$]
Taste: 6/10

Route 11 Potato Chips - Lightly Salted

These are explicitly nut free! Hooray! I am excited to potentially try some of the other flavors in the future. These lightly salted ones were just "fine", but that's because plain chips never excite me much. However, the texture is a nice thin crispy chip, they are oily but not crazily so, and they weren't super salty. So I bet the flavored chips are solid! And they sell variety packs on their website, too. Note to future self, I guess.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Kellogg's Blueberry Pastry Crisps

When I first saw these, I thought they'd be disgusting. Like a thin Nutri-Grain bar! But they aren't bad at all. My boyf got them for me to eat at a wedding in case I couldn't eat any of the food, and they did the job (even though I did eat some of the food, also). They are pretty small, but mighty if you're hungry. A fairly dense, sweet little snack. Would be cloying if they were any bigger, but they aren't big so it's OK!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Made Good Cookies & Creme Granola Minis

These were good! Of course, they contain vegetables, which I like, and chia, which I am now pretty confident is OK for me. These are a good variety of granola mini because they have little white choco(ish) chips in them, and that feels decadent, but they're still mainly Oat, so they don't feel too unhealthy either. And decently filling for these little snack types of things, too. On the whole, enjoyable.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

PopCorners Sea Salt

These are a good texture and size, fun to eat in that sense, but the flavor is just Nothing and Salt, which is actually no good at all. It's too bad. I should get some dip (salsa? cheese????) although I'm not sure if it would go with this kind of chip. But anyway, although I did like the white cheddar flavor a lot, these are not great. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Tostitos Hint of Spicy Queso Chips

These were definitely better than I thought they'd be - they do have just a hint of queso seasoning. Still dippable in salsa, or OK on their own. Far superior to the weird chili lime sun chips that I had on the same night. Cute lil circles. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Sun Chips - Chili Lime

You know, I like sun chips but I could tell from the flavor that these probably wouldn't be my favorite version, and I was right! They tasted a lot like taco seasoning, more than like chill, to me. Big cumin energy. My boyf liked them more than I did, but I'd rather have plain Sun Chips hands down.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 4/10