Oscar Mayer Cheese Dogs

Cheese is these hot dogs's toxic trait. Why is there cheese in there? Worse, why is it in weird little polka dots throughout, rather than in a stripe or something?! I can just buy cheese! And it doesn't super go with ketchup, but it isn't very good without, so IDK what to do with these. They're filling and quick but a little gross. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Oscar Mayer Classic Beef Franks

So let me be "frank" with you -- I wasn't looking for a beef frank. I wanted a turkey dog, a chicken dog, or worst case scenario, a part turkey dog. But the only one of those at my store were nearly expired long turkey dogs at twice the price. Disgusting. So I got these, even though they're shortening my lifespan as we speak. At least they taste fine. All these franks frankly taste the same to me. I don't know why, but when the semester winds down, I yearn for a hot dog. Now I have 10!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Oscar Mayer Bologna

Bologna is gross unless it's sweet bologna. There, I said it. I know it sounds like the "sweet" meat would be the gross one, trust me, I know, but I just can't get into this amorphous lunch meat. I've tried it fried, I've tried it with cheese, I've tried it in rice like the little hot dog meat pieces it is, but none of it works for me. None of it makes me vom or anything, I just don't like it. At its best, it is a neutral mix of italian meats & hot dog flavors, that you can kind of mask with sauces or other toppings. Why would someone make a hot dog into deli meat? Like, what are we doing here, guys? At least you get a lot of slices in one pack. And as far as I know, it's allergy-free.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Oscar Mayer Classic Uncured Wieners

Ah, nothing like a fresh Uncured Wiener. I'm not really a big hot dog fan, but in the time of covid, things are different. I got these at the Walgreens after my first vax shot! And although they are beef/pork and not turkey, they are good. They taste and smell like a classic hot dog. Of course they are also fatty and generally bad for your body, but they are good to eat. And at least there's protein!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Oscar Mayer Deli Fresh Oven Roasted Turkey Breast

I also got this at Walgreens, and it's pretty good. Solid on its own (meat!) but since I have tortillas, also works in tortillas. It's good heated up with cheese + hot sauce for lil quesadilla things, and it's good cold with mustard or miracle whip. About 2 slices works for 1 tortilla, and that makes about 10 servings/5 meals, which is perfect since this stays good for a week. I was nervous it'd be gross or slimy but it really wasn't, I got a stomach ache from a cold one once, but that might be the tortilla or the miracle whip, so I don't blame the turkey. Allergy info seems good too, no soy or anything. Yay, meat!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Oscar Mayer Turkey Uncured Franks

Unlike with bread, there aren't a lot of "may contain nuts" warnings in the hot dog section, so I wasn't starved for choice in my wiener shopping. I like to get something both cheap and low-calorie, but also not a weird looking store brand, so I settled on these bad boys. They're perfectly serviceable, even though I will admit the turkey taste is less delicious than a beef or even chicken dog. However, it isn't THAT big a difference, especially with condiments, and it's also much healthier both in terms of calories and carcinogens. They don't shrivel up when you cook them, which is actually disappointing to me, but whatever - 28 seconds in the microwave and you have a filling snack or meal, with protein, for like 1$. Can't argue with that.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$]
Taste: 6/10

Oscar Mayer - Cracked Black Pepper Turkey Breast

This was better than I remembered - I thought it would be super gross, but really it just tastes like deli turkey with a little bit of black pepper. Not at all smokey (this is good) or honey-y (also good). A little too wet for my tastes, but that's deli meat for you. I'm not really into deli meat at all anymore, but that's the way it goes when you're eating subs all day e'ry day, right? So this is fine. I use maybe 3-4 slices per sandwich, which is plenty of turkey flavor, and not too calorie intense, and you get about 5-6 sandwiches from a package, which is all I could really manage to eat in the week this stays good for anyway. It's alright.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (about 3.50)
Taste: 6/10