Tostitos Tortilla Chips - Mexican Street Corn

I like [street corn] as a noun, but apparently, not as an adjective. The hint of lime on these is way too heavy to be felicitously considered a hint, which as always has the effect of making them taste like Trix cereal. They are a little spicy which is nice, there's a minor cheese taste as well as a minor "bean paste" vibe (scary), and a serving is 6 chips (although they are very big chips). IDK, man, it's not my vibe. My parents both liked them, although my analysis there is that my dad just likes that weird lime flavor and my mom just likes anything new. At least the bag didn't go to waste!

 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10  

Green Giant Restaurant Style Veggie Sides: Tri-Color Roasting Potatoes

Ah yes... restaurant style. As opposed to peasant home-chef style, I guess. Restaurant style seems here to mean "covered in butter and seasoning", which I guess I do like. Or maybe it's the tri-color of it all (aesthetically pleasing). Why did I buy this if I'm such a hater (and neutral on potato)? It was on sale, my friends. Also, I do like purple potatoes and also butter. The package recommends cooking in an air fryer, which I do not have, so I ovened it -- hardly restaurant style -- but the texture ended up just fine (vaguely crispy outside, smooshy innards). You can't really taste the butter though, which is sad - they're very dry. And the spice is only vaguely noticeable, feels like light pepper/rosemary/salt(?)/oregano(??). Anyway, I ended up resorting to ketchup as if they were a humble french fried potato, and that was better. Potatoes, man, they just aren't that good. No wonder I never got in to Lord of The Rings. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$ normally]
Taste: 6/10 

Hillandale Farms - Extra Large Eggs

More Hillandale eggs... how many variants are there?! These are Extra Large, which is the size I've grown accustomed to (although really I'd probably be better off with medium, since I don't love eggs). They really do come in this blue foam packaging, which I hate. Maybe it's to prevent breakage, but I still lost 1-2 eggs. They are also possibly glued to the container?? Or else so broken that the yolk glued them. They also don't tout any cage-free/free-range/humane adjectives, which I don't feel great about. What is my veg box (which refuses to sell meat, but sells a ton of vegan beanmeat and nut milk (much to my chagrin)) doin?! Maybe I'll have to Consider store eggs (or no eggs) if they keep sending these foamers. [britta voice] I can excuse eating animal products, but I draw the line at factory farming. 

Anyway, they taste fine. The color is definitely way whiter than Sauder's, and the yolk is less firm and plump (a true grade A, I guess) but in the end it's all egg. No major issues on the consumption front. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [1.50]
Taste: 5/10 

2022 Navarro López Mañana Garnacha

This wine is so obscure I had to take my own picture (and for that I apologise). Doesn't inspire much confidence, even though I usually like Garnachas pretty well. The label even looks janky, though the cork was one of those fun new age recyclable foam deals. There's a strong tart cherry flavor - sweet - but also very very acidic. No saddle notes, though. After a day it's muted all around; less acidic but also less fruit-forward and more "Franzia". Never again the franzia times. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [if it existed, it'd be cheap]
Taste: 6/10 

Old El Paso Taco Seasoning Mix - 25% Less Sodium

I usually make my own taco seasoning (or enchilada seasoning, as the case may be). However, sometimes occasion calls for a packet. This is the one I grew up with, so I know it is safe, even though I suspect the Spices contain cumin (which is marginal :p). I only use 1 tbsp/1lb of meat, but that's plenty. It smells great. Is it straight MSG? According to the ingredos, no, but it tastes like it (which is a compliment). Actually, this makes my lips a little itchy, but it might just be the salt+spice of its neighbors (cheese and a million assorted hot peppers). I guess that's why I usually stray from packet life. Ah well. If you don't have allergy issues, this is so good. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 8/10 

Old El Paso Red Enchilada Sauce - Mild

Ooh, now my store has a mild version of this sauce in addition to the medium! I'm usually a medium-preferrer, but I had to try all the options of course. This tastes very similar to the medium one, as it happens, but is a little less spicy. Shocking! Actually, I might switch to mild due to the limitations of my physical form, so it's nice that this is an option. The decaf of red sauce. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Pepperidge Farm Whole Grain 100% Whole Wheat

Something very good (and certainly better than wines and poptarts) is Toast. I had this bread before in its thin-sliced guise, and I liked it, but more of a good thing is perhaps even better (or I got a fresher loaf). This is the canonical size and shape of bread, it has a good heft, it's got a good stat profile, and it's nut/seed/legume-free. Hooray! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Pop Tarts Star-Spangled Blueberry

A punishment for us all is to gaze upon these pop-tarts. The box picture doesn't even do them justice: they look absolutely radioactive in real life. Like play-doh but somehow less appetizing than that. I'm pretty sure these are just the same as the regular blueberry flavor (which I've already reviewed), but the USA-ified appearance really takes the customer to a new level of horror. The filling is blueberry, grape, and apple, which is not bad as poptartfilling goes. The color is Red 40 and Blues 1-100 (approximately), which is extremely bad as everything goes. I can imagine some self-described radicals at the Pop-Tart factory thinking "maybe if we make these it'll be the tipping point that leads to a revolution!!", but instead it is only leading to a minor reduction in self-respect and/or lifespan. Olé, olé, olé.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [2.79$]
Taste: 6/10 
Unnaturality: 10/10

2019 Chateau Franc-Cardinal Bordeaux

Please, look at this promotional image. This is how things were before AI.... beautiful. Anyway, you might think I'm on a wine bender with two reviews in a row, but it's really just wacky life circumstances and the power of RNG. (Too bad). This has one of the most intense Brettanomyces situations I've ever experienced. I am not a Brett bae. It smells like a sweaty saddle, and that's being generous. Since I am not attracted to horses, this is an unpleasant smell. However, the wine has high ratings, so I tried to stick it out. It does ease up if you let it breathe, and on the 2nd day the smell is much reduced. But the taste is still leather, squeaky, plastic, mulch. Farm life in a bottle. Since the darling otter (?) is serving it, I will endure, but this is really not my vibe. Decent on the acids/tannins spectra though. 

Overall
Cost: 3/10 [29$]
Taste: 5/10

2020 Brindle Ridge Merlot

Whew, when I opened this I wasn't breaking my alc triangle, but don't ask how things are going now. Anyway, it's pretty good. A strong flavor at first, like always, that made me worry it was too long in my warm house. A little like drinking a basket which once held winter potpourri. Like cinnamon, berry, wicker, and pine. Aftertaste of bright cherry. A long finish. Accidentally paired with lasagna, which was great. 

Overall
Cost: 8/10 [2.79 !]
Taste: 6/10 

San Giorgio Ziti

Never was a cornflake ziti girl, even though all the Italian-Americans in my life (and there are have been many) were extremely into baked ziti. But in a lasagna, ziti is actually so good. Or maybe I'm still soaking up the San Giorgio energy. Whatever it is, these are a top-tier pasta. They weren't as thick as I expected, and the al dente time of 10 minutes was actually accurate. Praise be!

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [1.50ish]
Taste: 7/10 

Spindrift Strawberry Vanilla

Another spindrift soda offering -- this time, the ingredos are: fizzy water, strawberry puree, apple juice, vanilla extract, and strawberry extract. Starting to see a pattern! It tastes like the things it is, and I do like super-wet strawberry juice, so it's pleasant. Someone online said that it's kind of strawberry-yogurt flavored, and I can definitely see that. More yogurt than shortcake (the old name of this flavor), so changing the name to an ingredient description was a wise move. We love transparency!! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Watermelon Dots

I will make up for my inability to eat fresh watermelon with an assortment of artificial watermelon flavored foodstuffs! These are definitely better than the lemonade dots. There is only one flavor here: watermelon. Just like the watermelon La Croix, the flavor is strong, bright, and candy-esque. Well, these are candy, so that makes sense, but it's like a chewy version of a watermelon jolly rancher. And they are very cute, also. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10