Starbucks Cold Brew Concentrate

All my homies hate Starby's, but, needs must (the NOLA grocery store didn't have Dunkin cold brew). This is convenient for travel because hotels always have water and ice, and that's all you need for this (although a little milk never hurt anyone). It didn't taste as bad as I feared, and the ingredos are just coffee so there's no ostensible allergy issue. This bottle is supposedly 5 servings, though I found it actually had too much for my 4.5 day trip, and it also costs like 11 dollars, which is gross. But it fits in hotel fridge and is coffee. So, I guess it's all right. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [11$]
Taste: 6/10 

Starbucks Frappuccino Mini White Chocolate Mocha Cans

Now for another edition of things that are cute but not very good! Alas. All of the starbucks (et al) frap-type drinks taste the same! Just a milky calorie bomb. Not much mocha flavor here. I guess a bit of a white chocolate vibe is present. A stylish can, and not too strong of a "can" flavor (though there is some), but it's like, they don't even list the caffiene content, so I can only assume there's like 1mL of cofe content in this!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks Nitro Cold Brew - Splash of Sweet Cream

I am unconvinced that this is different from the "vanilla sweet cream" flavor, but since Starbucks doesn't have a website for their at home products (unlike Dunkin!) I can't be sure. These are miles above the stupid canned frapps, anyway. More coffee flavor; just a little milkiness (and a tiny bit of foamy froth from the "nitro"). These are good for travelling. I do miss the pumpkin flavor, but this is probably my favorite of the OG lineup. (I don't think I tried the purple one though?). 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks Unsweetened Blonde Roast Iced Coffee

I got this to put in a thermos on a drive too early for Dunkin to be open, because I need cofe in the morning if I'm about to do a long drive (commuting to work has trained me thus). I guess it was fine. Starbucks is no Dunkin, and fridge is no fresh. It tastes like the Starbucks (black) cans, which are also fine, but weird and too smooth and strong. I didn't finish the bottle because other cofes were more appealing when I didn't need this one.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks Frappuccino Mini Caramel Light Roast Coffee Drink Cans

Apologies for the title gore, I just called these what the website did, and added "cans" because that's the most important thing to me. Cans are fun and new! These were pretty decent like a typical milk coffee flavored drink. Definitely calorie-heavy, but the upside to these is that there was no real "can" flavor, which is rare. Just a pretty pleasant caramel flavor, like caramel sauce and milk and a light coffee flavored chocolate milk. A good size, too. (Good meaning not too huge.)

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Starbucks Nitro Cold Brew - Pumpkin Cream

Let the pumpkinification begin! I must say, I prefer winter flavors (mint, ginger, hot chocolate) to fall ones, but the pumpkin beers and coffees are pretty solid. And this one is too! Only ("only") 80 cals for a sweet cold creamy pumpkin drink that you can tote around. I like that and I like the little baby foam on top. I don't like the man who works at my grocery store and makes a point to stare into every single thing I buy in the self checkout. But that's OK, it was worth it to buy a fun little drink. There is still a bit of that "can" taste, which I don't like, but it isn't too overpowering here. It's my favorite Starby's can anyway.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Starbucks Canned Nitro Cold Brew - Vanilla Sweet Cream

Huh, I thought I reviewed the whole set of these already! I must be losing my mind. Oh well. This tastes like sweet canned coffee, you know the drill. The unique element is the "nitro" bit, which means there's a little bit of fizz involved here, and that's some fun. Really this tastes a bit like lucky charms in milk, which is OK, but not really "coffee" in my heart.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [on sale for 2.50]
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks Bottled Frappuccino - Brown Butter Caramel

This was a bigger size than the little bottles I was using for creamers! It's a whole 290 cals. I liked the idea of "splash of cold brew" bottles, because I thought they'd be less sugary tasting, and I guess that's true to a very minor extent here. It wasn't TOO sweet, but it definitely was sweet. Very milky, also. Basically this tasted like what I imagine straight Dunkin' caramel swirl is like. So I guess it is pretty dang sweet. Bleh.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks Bottled Frappuccino - Coffee

The pretty green color makes this seem like a fun holiday flavor (mint? mocha?) but it's just regular "coffee". Too bad. Still looks sleek though. I think the plain ones used to be a brownish color instead, right? Anyway, I use this to sweeten my coffee since I can't get creamer delivered. It's basically the same idea. As a drink on its own, it's basically the same as all of these dumb bottled coffee drinks - way too sweet and watered down to enjoy. Works decent as a creamer though!

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks Toasted White Chocolate Bottled Frappuccino

Alas, while I enjoyed the dark chocolate version of these bottled cold-brew coffee drinks, this one is not hitting the spot. So sad because I like white chocolate as a food!! But this tastes basically just like the typical starbucks bottles, thin and too sweet. I can't taste any cold brew notes at all here, or any coffee at all, for that matter. Way inferior to the dark choco bottle, which of course I haven't seen since I bought it that time!

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 5/10

Starbucks Bottled Frappuccino - Salted Dark Chocolate

A new exciting flavor! This was a tasty dessert-esque drink, as always. The salt in this flavor did serve to make it less overwhelmingly sweet, which is good -- a little more complex than the usual bottled coffee drink. Still way too sweet and milky for my preference, though! Where is the coffee!? (Or splash of cold brew, in this fun new case). But still, I liked it, would drink again.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Starbucks Bottled Frappuccino - Vanilla

I don't much care for Starbucks (or, as the classy call it, Starbie's), but I enjoyed having a different kind of coffee drink from my usual hot coffee k-cup, plain. Like all the bottled coffee drinks, I thought this was way too sweet (it's like 300 cals, c'mon), but it does taste pretty good, like sweet milky juice. Not very much actual coffee flavor, to be honest. More like a coffee flavored ice cream that melted than a coffee. I want a coffee! But this is a nice dessert type thing. Oh, the weird aftertaste is present, but it took longer than normal to notice and wasn't as strong. Not sure if it was more subtle because of the vanilla flavor, the fact that this was in the fridge for months, the fact that I put it in a mug, or that my body is broken. Either way, same weird bad metal taste, though frequently overshadowed by sweet milky vibes. Overall a good experience, definitely better than the mocha flavor was.

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks Bottled Frappuccino - Mocha

Coronavirus is ravaging my community (kinda), so I bought this at the grocery store in preparation for Dunkin closing down. But then I drank it within 4 hours because I have a coffee problem. Anyway, it's not great. Definitely not worth 3 bucks. So inferior to fresh coffee or even most big bottle coffees. Has that weird "canned coffee" metal(?) taste to it, even though it's in a glass jar and ostensibly not that old. I dunno what this is, it's not in the big milk bottle jugs of cold coffee. The rest is fine if you can ignore the weird taste (I can't) -- very sweet, somewhat milky, maybe a tiny hint of mocha. Not worth it, future me! But there is sweet sweet caffeine in there, I assume, although they don't tell you how much on the bottle so I suspect it isn't very much at all.



Overall
Cost: 4/10 [3$]
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks

I've never reviewed Starbucks? I guess I really am a Dunkin' girl for life. Starbucks makes lots of weird nut food, so I can only get basic dinks there. Although I think the first time I went was with my allergy bud Rach and we got Java Chip Frappuchinos (spelling??), which was amazing (9/10) and didn't kill me. But also so expensive and bad for you, and also I keep reading blogs about how ordering fraps at Starbucks is selfish and makes the workers hate you, and then I get lost in thought and jealousy for a while. Anyway, there are also Starbuckses at lots of rest stops, so I stopped off on my recent Chicago road trip.

Sweet cream cold brew: This is tasty, better than Dunkie cold brew but also like 4+$. It also gives me heartburn without fail, which is unlike cold brew, but I usually get Starbucks when travelling so that may be why. 6/10

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks Doubleshot Energy Vanilla Drink

This was a real leap for me, since I'm not an energy drink kind of girl. But I was very tired, hungry, and sad at school(/work) so I got this from a vending machine. It tasted like that gross can flavor all canned coffee drinks have to some extent. But it also did genuinely perk me up, which surprised me a bit. Also, I didn't appear to be allergic to this, so now I know guarana and ginseng are safe for me (which I honestly didn't know about before). This was also fairly sweet and milky in addition to the can flavor, so that was nice. Lots of calories though, which is good or bad depending on your circumstance.


Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2.50$ from vending]
Taste: 6/10

Starbucks - Bottled Peppermint Mocha

This is fine! I just tried to burn some smudge because it's a full moon and I got some as a free sample, but it smells like someone smoking pot and it's grossing me out. Just feels toxic. If only I could vape smudge instead. How's this for a chatty intro? Anyway, I feel like that might be lowering my rating because my house smells bad and it's probably impacting my tastebuds.

Dunkin doesn't have peppermint mocha as a christmas flavor this year, so people are very upset! I decided to try this bottled drink because I do like minty flavors. Like other bottled coffee drinks, though, this is more like chocolate milk than coffee. There's really not much coffee flavor, or much mint either, just mocha and milk. (I mean, it is a latte). It's definitely fine, and a pleasant wintery drink, and the mint presence is there, I just would rather have a real coffee. For some pluses, there's no awful bottle/can aftertaste here like with the metal cans, and it also isn't overpoweringly sweet either. Good job, Starbucks! Not terrible!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (I think about 2-3$, a bit much)
Taste: 6/10