Heinz Hot 57 Sauce

This is a stupid name for a sauce. They should call it "Heinz Spicy Meatloaf Sauce" because it tastes exactly like the ketchup-based sauce my mom puts on her meatloaf, just with a lil spicy kick. And it's not bad! I don't really like meatloaf, but it's not down to the sauce. Plus this lasts forever, is relatively low-cal, and would be good with all varieties of beef, I think.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Heinz Jalapeño Tomato Ketchup

This is fine and good. The label is cute. I definitely do taste the jalepeno, plus a little salt/citrus vibe. It reminds me of the coating on jalepeno chips, mixed with ketchup. I think regular ketchup might be better, but maybe it depends what you put it on. Anyway, it's fine.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Heinz Yellow Mustard

This wasn't great for me, although I may be influenced by the fact that this came in a 3-pack with Disgusting Relish and Expired and Moldy? Ketchup. It also is due to expire within the week, so thanks a lot for this absolutely wretched 3-pack, Wal-Mart.com. But I digress.

Focusing on the taste, I thought it was a little too sweet for my liking. Not spicy enough -- I guess I'm used to the spicy mustard types. It was serviceable for dipping pretzels into, but not my favorite mustard. Stick to ketchup, Heinz!

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 5/10

Heinz Spicy Brown Mustard

I like mustard, and I appreciate how versatile it is while still having a strong flavor. It goes with eggs, sandwiches, meat, pretzels, and probably other stuff I don't have around right now. I'm used to the French's spicy brown mustard, but this was on sale so I bought it. I don't think I like it quite as much, alas. It's more tangy (more like the brown blobs in restaurant mustard -- is that mustard seeds??) and vinegary, and less sweet and mild. Sounds like a good thing, but it makes me mouth feel a little funky, and it distracts me from the taste of whatever I'm eating a little too much. Did I develop a secret mustard allergy or do other people find this tingly too? Since I never see other humans we may never know.

Overall

Cost: 8/10

Taste: 6/10