Twinings Pure Iced Tea

Tea time, tots! When I got this, the outside was covered in red goo (tomato sauce)? But I am too lazy to follow up, so I just tossed the packaging and consumed as normal. Luckily the bags are in sealed foil (36x2), and they're sewed together in a condom-esque fashion. More like sachets than bags, since there is no string with tab at the end. But it's OK, I'm not too good to go fishing in the cup (as evidenced by my acceptance of sauce-covered product). There are two options for enjoyment, according to the website/box:

Enjoy by the Pitcher: Pour 4 cups boiling water over 4 tea bags in a clean heat-resistant pitcher, steep for 4 minutes, remove tea bags. Fill the rest of pitcher with ice or 4 cups of cold water. Enjoy now or refrigerate for later.

Enjoy by the Glass: Pour boiling water over tea bag in a heat-resistant glass, steep for 4 minuets, remove tea bag, add ice to desired strength & enjoy!

Fine, fine. Very fine. I'm only one person here, so I'll start with the glass option. Queuing up my favorite Bach. How was that? Observation the first: there is no amount of ice you can put in a standard cup that will both not overflow and succeed in icing the tea. This is why you make iced coffee in huge tumblers. Anyway, I ended up with warm tea. Observation the second: It tasted like normal black tea. What are we doing here? Maybe I'll try the pitcher later, since that has the benefit of going in the fridge. Also, my head hurts and this didn't help :(

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 

Starburst Jellybeans

They don't make discounted Easter candy like they used to! This was the only nut-free option at my store on Easter Monday, so of course I bought it (for a cool 99 cents xoxo). Turns out they really are less premium than your Jelly Belly. But, they weren't as bad as I had remembered/feared. Basically these are Starburst but in Jelly Bean form, except there are 2 extra flavors to keep it fun. Here is my ranking:

1. Pink: This is the best starburst so it is also the best starburst jelly bean. Strawberry, I guess. The problem is that they have a weird mealy texture. Like is there wheat starch in this?? Why is it happening?? I guess Starbursts also have that, but Square Chew isn't an existing form to me like Jelly Bean is. Hm. 

2. Red: Red is the second best starburst and also bean. It is cherry, I think?

3. Green: There is no green starburst. Too bad(?). This is green apple flavor. It tastes like a green now and later. Good for novelty, I suppose. 

4. Orange: This is like orange starburst. Very mid. 

5. Purple: Grape!? No grape starburst. Obviously. I don't like grape juice flavored flavor, which is what this is, but at least it's not licorice. 

6. Yellon: Lemon is the worst starburst and equally the worst bean.  

Soft and slightly larger than Jelly Belly, but not as big as the delicious canonical jelly beans I am always allergic to. A fun change of pace for Jelly Bean Fans like me!

Overall
Cost: 8/10 [On sale for 99 cents]
Taste: 7/10 

Pringles Smoky Mesquite BBQ

I never noticed how wild Pringles can art is. This one has baco, a kabob on a grill, and someone painting sauce on a chip. Is that how this flavor tastes? Answer: no. Like all BBQ pringles, this tastes like a bowling alley. Smokey and a little BBQy. Also, Pringlesy, much to my dismay. But I do like BBQy, so that's something. It's a tomato-heavy flavor and not very "spicy" or "vinegary". A little lime for unknown reasons. A little bit Arby's roast beef + Arby's sauce vibe (I miss you, Arby)!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Hershey's Salted Caramel Ice Cream Flavored Candy Bar

What's new at Hershey's, I asked myself recently. More "white creme" bars (like cookies 'n creme) and less chocolate bars, it turns out. A turn for the worse, but at least it's not an IP tie in, so let's give 'em a shot. First up: caramel flavored ice cream bar (crucially, not ice cream, just bar). Some confounds: it's 8mil degrees and rat city, so I kept this in my fridge. It's not melted but that's probably not how it was meant to be stored. And this is made in Malaysia, which I haven't been to and know nothing about, so the allergy protocol is a little more Question Mark which is sure to put me off a little.

Anyway, this is cute in appearance. Little ice-cream-cone shape pieces. And it's 200 calos of essentially pure sugar with light milk, so that's what it is and it's not pretending to be otherwise. But despite containing no coconut, it tastes to me like definitely coconut. Like the inside of a mounds bar. That is not what caramel tastes like. I guess I can get the "melting ice cream" + "cone" notes if I mouth-squint, but it's not obvious if they don't tell you. Caramel sauce, sure, okay. But not a GOOD caramel sauce, more like a Hershey's caramel syrup (lol). Texture-wise there are little firm toffee pieces (more sugar I assume), which is fun-adjacent. I didn't really like this. Maybe on a colder day I will feel differently. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Green Giant Simply Steam Cheesy Riced Cauliflower & Broccoli

Lol, I didn't realise this was riced cauliflower when I bought it (and not riced rice). That's actually an upgrade because it tastes better and is a bonus veg. But it's way fewer calories, which is actually bad because I'm so hungry all the time. It's also not very cost effective to eat 80 calos (both servings in the box) for like, 3 bucks. I was in a dark place when I bought this (the grocery store). Anyway, there's shockingly little cheese goo or brocco included (thus the 80 calos I guess), but it tasted way more balanced/better than it looked. A great product if you are rich. (Well, OK, maybe not rich. Slightly richer and/or different food priorities-er than me!)

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2-3$]
Taste: 7/10  

Birds Eye Steamfresh Seasoned Chicken Flavored Rice

Birds Eye ain't what it used to be... but neither am I! This has only milk as an allergen (although some random reviewer online who is allergic to "only cranberries and oysters" had a reaction, for whatever that's worth, lol), and as I'm always in search of new veg landscapes, I had to check it out. It is easy to cook, I'll give 'em that, although it smells a lot like canned chicken soup (no doubt due to the combo of chicken fat, corn protein, carrot, and onion). No soy though!! They promised!! The onions are really to its detriment, at least on first nibble/smell. The rice and seasoning and carrot/brocco is fine, but the onion flavor is overpowering. However, maybe it's the MSG talking, but this was pretty tasty. I wished there was more. I'm a fool... a fool for seasoned chicken flavored rice.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

7-Layer Dip Pringles

What even IS 7-layer dip? I've never had it, so I assume one layer is Bean. And then like..meat? Tomato? Cheese? Sour Cream? Guac? Lettuce? This can shows chip (but I assume that's for dipping and not dip) and olive (ew), and as far as I can tell, no bean. So although the ingredos don't have Bean, there IS "natural flavors" which could ostensibly be bean, which would kill me. But surely if there were bean, they wouldn't hide it, they'd be proud to declare essence of Bean. Some neurotics are born, others are made (by food allergy). Anyway, I ate 'em, so I can decree: no bean. 

The flavor notes are very: tortilla chip (unexpected!), paprika, cumin, taco seasoning in general, mild cheddar cheese dust, mild sour cream, possible lettuce vibe (weird). Pretty accurate flavor match, in other words. You can almost not notice the powerful pringle undertone, which is always my goal with pringles. But it is still there, a little. This flavor isn't listed on the Pringles Website, so perhaps it is discontinued (or otherwise secret). There is a slight olive afternote. Ew (impressed). Also a slight mealiness which I associate with my assumptions about pinto bean paste, although that is also a feature of many potato-forward pringles, too. I guess that's a value add(??). 

Not my favorite flavor, mostly due to bean fears and related anxieties, but pretty impressive/unique/I like the green can. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10