Jelly Belly Barbie Mix

A single serve 100 calorie pack of jelly bean? This is amazing. Give me a shot of cofe and I'm microdosing all the things that matter. I'm neutral on the Barbie branding, IDK why there's so much all of a sudden (is there a new movie coming out?), but pink is cute. Here is the flavor assortment:

Jewel Very Cherry: Is "jewel" just meant to indicate it's shiny? I think this is just regular cherry. It's a good cherry bean. 7/10

Strawberry Boba Milk Tea: Strawberry Boba Milk Tea tastes a lot like Strawberry. Which is pleasant enough. Wait, what I thought was strawberry boba milk tea must be cotton candy. This is horrible. Tastes like a chemical foot. A foot with a chemical peel on it. Ugh, ergh. I do hate boba, too. There's no strawberry though? What is this? Why is this? Why, Barbie?! 3/10

Cotton Candy: Cotton Candy tastes a lot like Strawberry. Which is pleasant enough. Psych!, that must have been something else. 4/10

Jewel Bubble Gum: You can really taste the "jewel"! Actually, this might be the milk tea. WTF is going on. OK, there are two distinct flavors that taste bad. The opaquer one isn't AS bad, and is more cloy-y milky flowery, so it's probably the boba one. But it could be "jewel" flavor. What the hell is happening here. Wait, I got one normal gum flavored one. So it's the Milk Tea and Cotton Candy that are jank. Whew. 7/10

Strawberry Cheesecake: Love this one. Old faithful. 8/10 

 A wild journey with Barbie.

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10 

San Giorgio Cavatappi

This has always been a favored shape of mine! I went with SG over DC because of the price, but the allergy label is actually great (may contains listed!) and the taste was too, so now I'm like, hmm, time to switch my pasta allegiance? Cava tappi is Italian for "extract corks", if you were wondering (thus the corkscrew shape). But yeah, the vibe is like an extra fun big elbow. Plump, not starchy, strong, whimsical. A top tier iteration of a top tier shape! Plus each individual pasto is so large, which is its own reward. Bigger than the Knorr cavatappiti by like, 500%. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 8/10 

Signature Select Fresh Basil Leaves

This isn't what the container looks like, but whatever, it was bad anyway. I saw this at the store for 1 whole dollar cheaper than the fresh basil plant I usually get, and I thought "yeah, OK", but the container says not to refrigerate for over 24 hours, so I didn't, and then it completely went black and slimy in a matter of 2-3 days. So instead I had no basil at all. (Upside: turns out the lasagna tastes better without basil anyway, but it was the PRINCIPLE of the thing!)

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2.50]
Taste: ???/10 

Hershey's Cookies 'N' Mint (2026 Version)

Look how they massacred my boy :(

Disclaimer: this was in the freezer. 

Claimer: On first eat, this tastes like a tragic mix of Dunkin sugarfree artificial mint chocolate chip coffee and Hershey's cookies 'n cream bar. But on second and third chew, there are elements of OG Cookies 'N Mint. Cooling elements. Elements that make you feel like you huffed some paint thinner in the garage. Like your heart is full of antifreeze. Like maybe, just maybe, life is worth living. The rest of the chews are a mix of those two experiences. Some mediocre to bad, some beautiful and nostalgic. This candy bar really encapulates my life. But I want the old one back :( 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 4/10 or 8/10, avg 6/10?  

Pringles Sharp White Cheddar

People keep saying that I'm too nice. Are they reading my Pringles reviews? That's the only thing I'm too nice about. Honestly. Anyway, these impressed me. The flavoring is pretty different! It is in fact sharp cheddar flavor dust! Unfortunately it's kinda subtle, in that the horrible PRINGLE flavor comes through very strongly. Like a lays chip chased with one of those cheddar cheese square cuts from Cracker Barrel I used to get and then complain about. But I love the flavor science. They should move the Pringles minds over to medicine. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 7/10 [at least until the novelty wears off] 

Lofthouse Spring Sugar Cookies

Do other people feel like sugar is the only thing that helps with migraine nausea or am I just deluding myself? I hope they cover this issue on The Pitt. Anyway, these cookies are great, way better than the supersweet puffy circles with gobs of frosting on top (which have their place too, let's be real). They kind of remind me of a homemade holiday cookie - buttery, bendy/soft, tender, but not flakey or crunchy or stale (yet). Very shortbread-heavy. Very wholesome. And nut free! Plus 100 calos isn't TERRIBLE for a cookie. And it IS spring, which has really plummeted in my season rankings since ~2020, but at least it's light out at night now (good for driving). 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [6$... humbug]
Taste: 8/10

Green Giant Sauced Veggies Simply Steam Cheesy Riced Cauliflower

This is identical to the Green Giant Sauced Veggies Simply Steam Cheesy Riced Cauliflower with 3 Small Broccolis, except it's missing the 3 small broccolis. So it is strictly worse... but only 3 tiny broccolis worth worse. Otherwise it is still very tasty, very small, and overpriced. Wish I could bathe in this stuff. Although the cheese goo makes me feel psychologically bad, even if not physically. (The cheeseless cauli is twice the price, though it is also bigger, so maybe I should just get that if I'm splurging on riced cauli). 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3$!!]
Taste: 7/10