Thursday, October 8, 2026

Polar Cranberry Lime Seltzer

I have returned to the bottle(s) (of seltzer). Cranberry lime is usually a good combo for me. Here too, it is pleasant, although honestly quite muted. Tastes more like water than either fruit flavor. Like a safe, wet, cardboard box. Finally I can hydrate in the safety of my home. I truly wish every faculty and staff meeting at my job didn't have a huge tub of peanutty trail mix that people are dropping and shaking into their mouths all over the place. I wish my HR disclosure did a single thing other than getting me fired or making people think I'm whiny!!! Anyway, this tastes fine.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Tuesday, October 6, 2026

On The Border Cantina Thins Tortilla Chips

Why are there so many different types of plain On the Border tortilla chips? This is on the border of dumb and stupid!! From what I gather, Cantina style means "thin". OK, sure. The label prose reads in part:

The versatility of tortilla chips makes them an ideal companion
and that's nice. My only relationship henceforth will be with these thin, bad chips. At least they're versatile!

I don't really have anything to say about them. They are big, white corn, and thin. So they break easily. No wonder the front of this one doesn't say "dip and enjoy", 'cause you can't. You gotta dab and enjoy, at max. Not so versatile after all. This package is more about the "all natural ingredients" which are corn, bits of corn, corn paste, and salt. Snooze alert. That being said, these were on a pretty good sale, and I'm not allergic to them, so, not so terrible. I'm just in a complaining mood. I don't remember the other On the Border subtypes very well anymore, but I do think this is the worst one due to the thin-ness. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [2$]
Taste: 6/10 

Monday, October 5, 2026

La Banderita Burrito Grande Flour Tortillas

Once again, these were an option instead of Goya, and they had a better expiry and better not-Goyaness, so I got 'em. They truly are big, both in size (takes up a full large plate) and calos (220). Originally I got this for an enchilada bake, and when soaking up sauce+cheese, it was good. But eating the leftovers now as burritos/tortillas/wraps, they taste like those Mission tortillas I got in the mail during peak covid that were about to expire. They have a particular "preserved flour" metallic board-like taste that I have grown to dislike. Maybe I just need more sauces (or cheeses) in my life. Also, the ziploc on this didn't work, so I had to use a whole other (huge) bag to store them. But also also, there's a cute cow on the back. Good in recipes (7), medium-bad as wrap (4). Know your plans I guess.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Sunday, October 4, 2026

Haribo Balla Bites

Sour Balla Bites did imply the existence of [∅] Balla Bites, and lo, here they are. Tragically, they are much, much worse than the sour version. And not even the flavor, but like, the texture, which I think is actually quite different? It feels like clay or play-doh. The inside is fun, but the outside is like chewy wax? Or plastic? Weirdly there's no sorbitol in the ingredos (unlike the sour version), so maybe sorbitol is... good actually? So confusing. If you ever wondered what swallowing gum is like, I imagine it's a lot like eating this (both the texture and honestly kind of the taste, too). 
However, if I'd had these before the sour version I'd probably rate them a bit higher because they're still candy and all, it's just way less good, so I reject them out of hand.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Saturday, October 3, 2026

Like Air Puffcorn - Pumpkin Spice

One thing these trendy allergy-free popup snack companies are sure to do is make way too many seasonal/limited edition flavors in their first few years. This is a total waste of resources and overwhelms the consumer! No wonder they all shut down soon after!! Stick to 1-2 per year like Haribo... fools..

Anyway, I do like a seasonal flavor. Hehe. This one is your typical pumpkin spice spice (though strong on the "spice" (nutmeg - allpice - clove) and light on the cinna-sugar), and the puffcorn is the same base as ever. The problem is, the base is savory by nature (although there's no onion or cheese this time, it still "evokes" those cheese puff vibes to me), and pumpkin spice (which does have some brown sugar in it) is sweet by nature. I think this is supposed to be a sweet snack, but it isn't quite sweet enough to get there. It's kind of like those spiced tumeric chai teas I got a while back. I can see how someone might enjoy this, and the base and seasoning are both pretty tasty on their own, but the combo disconcerts me as a sweet+savory combo hater. Anyway, it is nut free (actually, everything free) so I like it but I would not get this flavor again. I hope they defy the odds and keep pushing out nut free snacks! Go team! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Friday, October 2, 2026

North Coast Organic Cinnamon Applesauce

I recently realised that apples in applesauce are cooked, which meant I could eat them! So I got this in my veg box, but it's kind of dumb because the form factor is: tiny pouch you have to suckle. I hate this. It makes me feel like a baby, or a vaper, or both. However, they are Top 9 free and taste good. The texture is a little too "paste" for my preference, but I guess that's necessary if you're going to slorp it through a tiny tiny tube nub thing. Actually, these are hands free, so would be great to take to school, but for some reason I just had this in my house sitting in a chair like I was eating a meal. Mistakes were made. The taste is applesauce.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4.30$ for 4]
Taste: 6/10 

Haribo Balla Bites Sour

Truly, Haribo stays innovating. These were quite good! There are four different flavors (each of which contains 3 different flavors), and they are actually different, but not particularly identifiable. They're too small to isolate the components of, I think. They all do taste good though. The sorbitol in the ingredos made me nervous, but I didn't suffer any ill effects! Not too sour, but a little bit sour and a little bit sweet. Very easy to eat a lot of. A soft and unique texture. They're called Pico-Balla in the EU, but I still don't know what Balla means. Maybe they made it up.

Apple outside: This is my favorite one, I think. I do get a lemon vibe. 7

Strawberry outside: I do get strawberry? And orange? 6

Orange outside: This has the best insides (along with apple, which has the same insides, as there are only 2 combos of 2 insides). The sour part is the best part still, but it's all good. 7

Lemon outside: Yes, there is lemon! Better than the strawberry one, because more neutral, I think. 6

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10