Hillandale Farms Large Brown Cage Free Eggs

Huh, Large eggs really are smaller than Jumbo eggs, aren't they? These are basically tiny eggs. I'm America-brained when it comes to egg sizes. Anyway, I accept whatever size egg the veg box (and egg box) delivery brings me, and I'm glad these are at least back to being cage-free. They expired within like a week, though, so that's disconcerting, and they also smelled like burning plastic when cooking. Unless my pan got a lil spare plastic on it from something else. Nevertheless!! They taste: like eggs. I dunno. I don't really like eggs, but they sure are protein. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

spindrift Orange Vanilla Soda

Unintentionally in my soda pop era (cue Britney Spears's 'Soda Pop'). But what I love about Spindrift is that they sit right in the middle of the seltzer-soda spectrum, so they aren't artificial OR sugar bombs. This is going a little high on the sugar side, but it's still just fizzy water and juice, which I support. Orange, apple, and vanilla. Is vanilla extract a juice? Well, yes. And it tastes like if you added orange juice to perrier and dropped in 1/2tsp vanilla, that's it that's all. But it comes in a cute little can! I'm in. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2$ish, what the heck]
Taste: 6/10 

Fever-Tree Ginger Beer

God, the smell of this is like poppers. It's so nostalgic and lovely. Of course I'm used to it as a mixer, especially for your moscow mules (although shout out dark and stormys too), but today in my Sick Sad Little World era, I'm just drinking it straight. This is a non-alcoholic mixer, mind you, and it comes in a tiny 6.8oz bottle and costs an absurd amount of dollars. It's got a good ginger burn, which to be honest is kind of a scary experience when there's no alcohol alongside to water it down and/or calm you (bc tingly lips/tongue => wait am i dying?!). That's how you know it's good quality, though. Really good. Crisp, not too sweet, just overwhelmingly Ginger. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 7/10 

Crofter's Strawberry Squeeze-able Fruit Spread

Osito, putting jam into a squeezy tube only makes sense if there's not 20 servings in there. Otherwise it's all sticky and floppy and you have to knife it to even it out on your starch anyway. This is a horrible form factor; I hate it very much. The color is also a brown paste, like cat toothpaste, which is disconcerting in a different way than a bright red is. But it tastes like nice normal strawberry jam, so it's a good product; I'd just surely rather a jar. Ah well. You take what you can get!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Chocolatey Chocolate Lucky Charms

Surely I've had these before? Nope, just S'mores Lucky Charms, which were somewhat Chocolatey but not Chocolatey chocolate, you dig? Anyway, these are fine. Not as good as regular Lucky Charms for me, but I don't much like chocolate flavored things. As such things go, the corn bits (not oat, which is a downgrade) are solid. Good cocoa flavor. And the marshmallows go well - there are some normie colored ones and some chocolatey ones, but they all basically taste like chocolate-sugar-mush. Since it is record breakingly hot outside, chocolate-sugar mush (and not oven time) is just what the doctor (me) ordered!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Kellogg's Crispix Cereal

Wow! I thought I knew what Crispix was (off-brand Chex), but I didn't! It's hexagonal, for one thing. And it is corn on one side, rice on the other. A mash-up. A rice/corn love story. It's beautiful. The colors are slightly different too (thanks to turmeric, ha). It tastes like those two chexes... together. I do prefer the rice side, but it's all the better because it's in contrast to the corn side. Genius! Crispix for life! 
n.b. it's not very crispy, but I surely don't care about that. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 (a certain ceiling for the chex-types)

Ruffles Original

More 'o them free school snacks. As it happens, most free things aren't that good (possible exceptions: love, Eagles Win You Win Dunkin' Promo). One thing I can say for Ruffles: they have ridges. Actually, I'm being far too harsh here -- as plain potato chips go, these are among the best. Good texture, extremely oily (yom), no cat litter flavor as in Lays/Pringle. I just will never be stimulated by a plain potato chip. If I were still in the land of French Onion Dip, these could have a place in my life. But I am not.

Overall
Cost: 10/10
Taste: 6/10