Special Edition Green Giant Dill Pickle Seasoned Roated Potatoes

It's pickle season, boys! Usually the frozen veg section is immune to limited edition flavors and seasonals, but maybe the jolly green giant is looking to change that. As a veg-desirer, I am very open to the prospect, even if what we're starting with is dill (mid) potatoes (mid). I was so open to it that I paid full price for them, lest they be disappeared before my grocery return. Was it worth it? I mean, no. But that's no surprise. Unfortunately they were worse than even I anticipated - pretty dry, smelling a little like a bad chain restaurant (plasticy vinegary vinyl booth seat vibes), and not really even that pickle flavored (more like citric acid/vinegar/salt flavored). Good texture though, and they look pretty.

It also should be noted for the stats fiends that these have a ton of salt (1.4k mg), but a decent amount of fiber (6g).  

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [4$]
Taste: 5/10

Spindrift Strawberry Lemonade

I'm rebelling against August Pumpkin Time by getting a case of Spindrift Lemonades. They are extremely similar to the non-lemonade spindrifts, but that's OK because I mostly like them all. This one has lemon, lime, and strawberry. The overwhelming flavor is strawberry (and lemon water, but that's just, like, all of them). It is good but not great. Something to imbibe. And I recently learned that all their products are pasteurized, so any OAS fears should be allayed. I am staring down the barrel of the semester and feeling sweaty. But at least I will be staying hydrated!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Like Air Drizzled Rice Cakes - Cinnamon Bun

More cinnamon! More rice cake! Gotta get these reviews out while I still have time, after all. So, despite being a different flavor, this is really similar to the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough flavor. Same overall buttery/sugary rice cake base. But there's a weird flavor note present in these that I didn't notice in the other ones - like a staple, or a cardboard box. Unpleasant. One other (positive) difference is the drizzle on these is some sort of cream cheese frosting deal instead of choco, and it tastes good and goes with cinnamon. There is also less of it, and it's more transparent, so the meltiness of it is less perturbing. I don't think the frosting is the source of the weird flavor. But then I don't know what is. Too bad. Maybe a bad batch?

One other random complaint: the front of the bag advertises that it is "80 calories for 24 pieces", but a serving is 34 pieces (=120calories). Just change your serving size, you freaks. God, I hate that kind of calorie-counter-pleasing ad copy.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Cinnamon Pebbles

Sadly, eating these just made me want fruity pebbles (or even cocoa pebbles). Maybe it's because I eat cinnamon oatmeal for brekkie every day, but this was very generic in taste. The pebbles are a pretty unique cereal form factor - even though they're basically concave maltless rice krispie - but cinnamon is just so overdone. It was fine and all, but not worth your time (and not as good as cinnamon toast crunch, I think). 

Still I almost want to defend it because of this absurd review (which serves to legitimize the insane proteinifcation (via legume) of all my favorite brands):

You are eating a children's novelty cereal, sir!! What is wrong with you! Go eat some spam and eggs! (Also, fact check: it's actually 12g sugar, which isn't health food but is like, pretty standard cereal sugar content.)

Anyway, Post doesn't innovate much, so good for them, and the box art is good. Maybe they'll get 'em next time.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Jelly Belly - Fall Fireside Collection

Believe it or not, I really am trying to cool it with the jelly (belly jelly) beans.  They no longer have "peanut free" on their products and they're clearly transitioning away from caring about allergies, therefore I don't want to support them with my extensive candy budget (and also, am a little scared). But it takes me a really long time to transition away from things, OK? In the meantime, we can celebrate this hot hot fall day with the new "fireside" collection. Ooh, aah. It's a pretty good mix of flavors for me:

Cappuccino: My true love, coffee. Not really a fall drink, but who cares, eh? Some of them have a bologna aftertaste, however. 7 

Sizzling Cinnamon: Very good. Is there cinnamon coffee? If there were, I daresay it also isn't fall-coded (unless paired with pumpkin, which thank god they didn't). 8 

Toasted Marshmallow: It tastes like marshmallow. Again, feels more winter than fall, but maybe this was meant for those buyers in the frozen north. 7 

Red Apple: It tastes like red apple. Good job, this is actually a fall flavor! 6

Buttered Popcorn: You know it, you hate it... there's gotta be one dud to make the others better. Popcorn is also not fall themed. Jelly Belly, you dorks. 5 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3$]
Taste: 7/10

Goetze's Caramel Creams

Rather than disappointing myself by reading political commentary about the college that I don't even work for anymore, I shall disappoint myself by eating this other weird flavor of caramel cream. The inside is dyed red! Why would they do this? The outside is just regular caramel flavor, I think, so that's an upgrade over the pumpkin spice ones. But the inside is a way-too-sweet artificial "apple" flavor, with a weird dense mushy powdered sugar texture to boot. Better than the pumpkin ones, but just because they're more similar to the OG, which might be the only actually good flavor. I'm gonna be too burned out on weird seasonal flavors to ever buy them again though (just kidding, I'm sure). Ay de mí. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

RITZ Toasted Chips Sweet Habanero

Whew! I'm glad I tried the cheddar ones first, because these are hot/spicy and therefore make my mouth mad numb. But it's just pepper! (I think!). The texture is the same as cheddar, but the taste is quite different. Like a nice pepper jack cheese, kind of. A good bite, and not too "sweet" (thank goodness; that sounds gross). Maybe they're just all broken (or the others were melded), but they also seem to be half the size of the cheddar ones. Again, I must reiterate that these are not chips: they are spicy tomato/pepper/cheese-flavored crackers. Tasty but a little scary. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4.50$]
Taste: 7/10