Something very good (and certainly better than wines and poptarts) is Toast. I had this bread before in its thin-sliced guise, and I liked it, but more of a good thing is perhaps even better (or I got a fresher loaf). This is the canonical size and shape of bread, it has a good heft, it's got a good stat profile, and it's nut/seed/legume-free. Hooray!
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10
A punishment for us all is to gaze upon these pop-tarts. The box picture doesn't even do them justice: they look absolutely radioactive in real life. Like play-doh but somehow less appetizing than that. I'm pretty sure these are just the same as the regular blueberry flavor (which I've already reviewed), but the USA-ified appearance really takes the customer to a new level of horror. The filling is blueberry, grape, and apple, which is not bad as poptartfilling goes. The color is Red 40 and Blues 1-100 (approximately), which is extremely bad as everything goes. I can imagine some self-described radicals at the Pop-Tart factory thinking "maybe if we make these it'll be the tipping point that leads to a revolution!!", but instead it is only leading to a minor reduction in self-respect and/or lifespan. Olé, olé, olé.
Overall
Cost: 6/10 [2.79$]
Taste: 6/10
Unnaturality: 10/10
Please, look at this promotional image. This is how things were before AI.... beautiful. Anyway, you might think I'm on a wine bender with two reviews in a row, but it's really just wacky life circumstances and the power of RNG. (Too bad). This has one of the most intense Brettanomyces situations I've ever experienced. I am not a Brett bae. It smells like a sweaty saddle, and that's being generous. Since I am not attracted to horses, this is an unpleasant smell. However, the wine has high ratings, so I tried to stick it out. It does ease up if you let it breathe, and on the 2nd day the smell is much reduced. But the taste is still leather, squeaky, plastic, mulch. Farm life in a bottle. Since the darling otter (?) is serving it, I will endure, but this is really not my vibe. Decent on the acids/tannins spectra though.
Overall
Cost: 3/10 [29$]
Taste: 5/10
Whew, when I opened this I wasn't breaking my alc triangle, but don't ask how things are going now. Anyway, it's pretty good. A strong flavor at first, like always, that made me worry it was too long in my warm house. A little like drinking a basket which once held winter potpourri. Like cinnamon, berry, wicker, and pine. Aftertaste of bright cherry. A long finish. Accidentally paired with lasagna, which was great.
Overall
Cost: 8/10 [2.79 !]
Taste: 6/10
Never was a cornflake ziti girl, even though all the Italian-Americans in my life (and there are have been many) were extremely into baked ziti. But in a lasagna, ziti is actually so good. Or maybe I'm still soaking up the San Giorgio energy. Whatever it is, these are a top-tier pasta. They weren't as thick as I expected, and the al dente time of 10 minutes was actually accurate. Praise be!
Overall
Cost: 6/10 [1.50ish]
Taste: 7/10
Another spindrift soda offering -- this time, the ingredos are: fizzy water, strawberry puree, apple juice, vanilla extract, and strawberry extract. Starting to see a pattern! It tastes like the things it is, and I do like super-wet strawberry juice, so it's pleasant. Someone online said that it's kind of strawberry-yogurt flavored, and I can definitely see that. More yogurt than shortcake (the old name of this flavor), so changing the name to an ingredient description was a wise move. We love transparency!!
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
I will make up for my inability to eat fresh watermelon with an assortment of artificial watermelon flavored foodstuffs! These are definitely better than the lemonade dots. There is only one flavor here: watermelon. Just like the watermelon La Croix, the flavor is strong, bright, and candy-esque. Well, these are candy, so that makes sense, but it's like a chewy version of a watermelon jolly rancher. And they are very cute, also.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10
