Guittard 63% Extra Dark Chocolate Chips

OK, but like, I'm being so for real when I say that 63% IS NOT EXTRA DARK!!! Guittard doesn't know the meaning of "extra", it is clear to me now. Extra clear. Extra dark would be like, 76% minimum. I do like that the darkest bag is red, though. That feels right. If it were 90% we'd be getting somewhere. Not that I even like dark chocolate much, but if we're going bitter we might as well go (genuinely) extra, yeah? 

Anyway, these taste a little darker than the pink ones, but not significantly so. Which again makes sense given the percentage. You might wonder why I have all these Guittard dark chocos, then. The reason is that I needed white chocolate for baking, they're the only ones with safe white choco, and they have an order minimum for free shipping (and I didn't want to order a dozen bags of white choco, even though that would be smart to do, because a summer rat would probably get into my choco hoard and then I'd be depressed). 

 A fine choco. Probably my least favorite, which tracks. I trust the percentage if not the modifier.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Guittard 46% Semisweet Chocolate Chips

I should be able to tell that these are less semisweet (lol) than the 55% pink ones, and therefore more fully sweet, but they actually taste the opposite. Maybe I don't understand the chocolate world like I thought I did. I just had a sudden flashback to a girl in my freshman seminar in college bragging about how she was heir to the Scharffenberger fortune, and that they had REAL chocolate, unlike Hershey (with a pointed stare at me, Hershey Girl). I'm no Hershey defender (other than their allergy policy), and I understand the chocolate politics that made her hate me, but that girl was a major snoot. I ranted about it to my parents and they were like, "well, but you can see why she said that." Yes, parents!! Of course!! Anyway, all political discourse is kind of like that for me.

Where was I? Having another 2 Tbsp of wine? No, actually. Not much else to talk about here, though. I like the orange bag. These are a good quality dark choco, and taste very deep and not at all bitter. What is the other 64%? It's sugar. And yet, you can't really taste it. Which is good and bad, I suppose. Lost in the dark depths of the milky (yet vegan) choco. Impressive stuff, Guittard. I bet the heirs to the Guittard fortune are way friendlier. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [11$ish]
Taste: 6/10  

McCormick Cream of Tartar

A pretty unappealing name, but appealing as a baking aid to tart-en things up a bit. It's an acid that comes from winemaking, so we have no choice but to celebrate it. I'm tempted to taste a little, un-baked, but that way lies madness, plus what if it's like flour and could be toxic? So we don't really know how it tastes, but it does the job in blondies, etc.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5.50$]
Taste: 5/10 

Guittard Choc-Au-Lait Baking Chips

Choc-au-lait is a silly name, played very seriously here. Two thumbs up. Yes, I really went deep into my baking chocolate stores when I was snowed in, and now they're fully depleted. But I actually did bake with these (in addition to eating some as a wee snack, of course)! They taste a lot like the outside of a Hug, which isn't the greatest tasting white chocolate (maybe there really is no great tasting white chocolate and my childhood memories aren't to be trusted?) but did grow on me. Most importantly, these are white chocolate chips that are safe! (Allergy-wise and brain diet wise, if we still cared about that last thing). They're a small size, like a normal chocolate chip (serving size=30), which is notable because the Guittard milk choco chips are like twice as big as these (serving size=12). The small size is less fun but probably better for melting, baking, etc. Overall I am not blown away with delight, but these are the only nut-free white chocolate chips I know of, so they are very important nevertheless.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [~15$]
Taste: 7/10
Market importance: 10/10 

Guittard Milk Chocolate Chips

Having blown through my stores of rice, pasta, veg, coffee, and snacks, I've resorted to snacking on these 15$ nut-free baking chocolate chips. It occurs to me maybe I ought to have just baked something instead (lol). Anyway, the upside is that these are great, which is why they're worth the 15$ and shipping. About twice as a big as a normal chocolate chip (or half the size of a Hershey kiss), and a pleasant milky taste. If only there were a cheapo allergy-free brand, but at least I'm living in the lap of luxury (in the realm of baking)!

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [15$ plus shipping because you know Acme could never]
Taste: 7/10 

Ocean Spray Craisins (The Original)

These are cute! Good for baking, snacking, etc. The bag says "Peanut Free" which we love. Also "no need to refrigerate once open", the transparency of which we also love. Of course, all the other fun styles of dried fruit, even from Ocean Spray, are may-contain city, but at least the OG remains accessible. Something I lament about the OG, though, is that there's sooooooo much sugar added (like 50% DV in 1/4 cup). We all know I love sweets, but fruit is already sweet!! The tartness is the whole point of cranberry, let me experience it!!! Alas, I gotta buy fresh cranberries in the 2 week window they're available if I want to experience actual cranberry. But these are still very fun and tasty, just a totally different thing. Craisins is a good name because raisins are hardly fruit anymore and we accept that. Yes we do.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Pillsbury All Purpose Flour

I was thinking about Poppin' Fresh the Pillsbury Doughboy recently (as one does), and I realised that commercial food mascots were a way bigger deal, culturally, in the 1900s. Because like, there was no streaming, and so commercials were like little TV shows, and the only kid-friendly ones were for food and toys, and they all had wacky mascots with lovable catchphrases. Also I had a ton of mascot toys because they came free in the foods. Anyway, I used to get Gold Medal Flour, but this is the only flour at my store (that isn't nut-ified) and it is perfectly serviceable. In fact I've made so many cakes and breads and muffins and breadings with this stuff that it's become my new default flour! Not much to say about it, but it does the job. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Bonus content from Wiki:

In the 1970s, a Pillsbury Doughboy family was created and sold as dolls individually and in the form of various playsets.

Included in the family are:

• Poppin' Fresh
• Poppie Fresh, described by the Advertising Icon Museum as forming a couple with Poppin' Fresh beginning in the early 1970s .
• Granpopper and Granmommer (grandparents)
• Popper (boy) and Bun-Bun (baby, girl)
• Flapjack (dog) and Biscuit (cat)
• Uncle Rollie

 

Domino Granulated Sugar

Mm, sugar. Nature's sugar. This stuff is essential for baking, but the box design is not optimal. You need super strength to puncture the half-moon cutout in the side, and then you hope and pray no pests or water enter the unsealed airhole. Luckily, ever since my roommates moved out I've had no sugar storage issues in terms of bugs/clumps (so far...), though the pouring process is still sometimes slow and annoying. I guess ultimately it does work well though, it's just tedious. But you get a smooth pour of that white gold... like sweet sweet freedom.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Argo Corn Starch

A thickener made from corn, what more could you want? Actually I was expecting a different brand when I went to the store, but this is the only one. It's interesting the color signals -- all corn starches are yellow with blue tops -- and I wonder who started it. Anyway, this was used to thicken some strawberries for a dessert topping, and it did its duty. No taste, which is the desired situation, although I may have used too much because the sauce ended up kinda gritty (lol). The FAQ from Argo (no allergens here except corn!) talks a lot about pica, which is interesting. Is corn starch dirt? Apparently for some! 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste?: 6/10 

Quaker Oat Flour

Hi blog fans! I live another day! Just to close the loop on my allergy testing: it was horrible; I don't recommend it to anyone who already knows they have severe allergies and I surely regret doing it. But, as noted, I live to blog on. 

And I'm not allergic to oat (not that they tested it), so this is perfect for baking. But what's this? My local grocery store stopped carrying it, even though they used to stock it, so I had to order it online!? Ew, gross, etc. But order it online I did, because life is short.  This is pricy stuff, at least compared to wheat flour, although if you can't do wheat (luckily I can -- not that they tested it) it might be cheaper than other gluten free flours. But in terms of its utility, it's right there (and it has more protein/fiber which is always good). It must be stated that it tastes like oats. So I used this to make a pretty tasty zucchini oat bar, and I've used it for buckle/cobbler like sweetbreads, and that seems to be the right kind of use case. I also like oats even though I eat them for brekkie every day, so I might not be a neutral oat flour judger. But this is a good product for oat-likers. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (6$/bag)
Taste: 6/10 

Nestle Carnation Sweetened Condensed Milk

OK, so this was also used in ice cream and not on its own, and thus I'm not sure I can review its taste accurately. HOWEVER, I sure have a lot to say about the smell of this product. First, I shamelessly admit I have never used Sweetened Condensed Milk before, so I didn't know what to expect when I opened it. Its banana pudding color and texture surprised me, but I quickly learned from the internet that that's normal. The smell, however, was horrifying. My first reaction was that it smelled like cheesy corn chips or musty feet, two smells that are similar in my mind (I hate a corn chip). Then I saved the can in the fridge so I could ask someone else to smell it (they said it smelled normal, like nothing and/or milk), and after handling the can, it revealed itself to smell exactly like cat food. Horrible, horrible smell that was quite strong and would not go away. If you ask Google, that means it's expired, but it was surely not, it just smells like that (to me). The only pre-existing source of online validation I could find was someone saying that canned coconut milk smelled like tuna, which is of course a subtype of cat food:  

The comment about popcorn made me think "huh, I get what you're getting", also. But then two of my dear internet friends told me they get a slight musty note too. So why isn't anyone talking about this!? It's been 12 hours and many handwashings and I still smell it lingering. Granted, I am 100% insane about sensory input lately, but I'm not pulling this out of thin air, people!!! 

Also funny: the reviews on the brand website are weirdly low, but nobody mentions a horrible cat food smell, just that the can is hard to open (it's true, I took 3 tries at it!) and that there's sugar in it (also true).  

Anyway, the smell didn't persist into the finished dessert at all, and I didn't vom after eating, so I think it just smells like that. I was too much of a coward to taste it, but I might try, like, a different brand next time (even though I figured Nestle's the safest allergy bet).  

Overall
Cost: 5/10 
Taste: 5/10
Smell 1/10 

Clabber Girl Baking Powder

There's a lot of educational opportunities for me on this can. First of all, "clabber" is an old timey kind of sour milk, which is the acid they used to use for baking powder. Baking powder is double acting when it releases the CO2 to make things rise twice instead of once, and that's extra good for your quick muffins and other such breads you don't want to be yeasty. I don't bake very much, but I do make a lot of stupid little muffins now, and they do indeed rise up quickly, no doubt thanks to this stuff. I can't really compare it to any other baking powder brand since I only get this one; they don't say anything about nut allergens, but I figure it's so basic that they see it as self-evidently nut free (and it's not like I have an alternative, so I chose not to deep dive it)! Lasts a long time, comes with a very convenient half-metal top for measurin', no complaints!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 [tastes like nothing, we hope] 

McCormick Vanilla Extract

This is a good vanilla extract. You use it in baking. Who among us hasn't had the experience of thinking this smells good, tasting it, and realising it is not meant to be consumed in such a fashion? You may try to save money by buying artificial vanilla extract instead, but you should not, because that one is much worse. This is the way to go.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5$ for a small bottle]
Taste: 7/10

Pillsbury Banana Bread Batter

Bread in a tube? Breadtube?! I have some negative associations. But I do like banana bread. Although it was fun to squeeze out of the tube, you still have to spread it in the pan, so the tube is more for fun than function. The smell is kinda "runts banana"-y, which isn't great, but I do like runts banana (in moderation), they just aren't what I expect for a real banana bread. All the reviews of this were like "my mom/grandma/husband's banana bread is the best in the world!" and TBH I also feel that my grandma/ex's (different people) banana breads were far superior. However, the smell of something baking is always nice, and this was no exception. 

I followed the cooking instructions (70min) and it came out a little dark. But the taste and texture were fine, and it was fully cooked which is always my biggest worry. The banana flavor is honestly pretty subtle, which isn't my preference but it's still tasty dense dark bread with a little toy banana vibe. However, halfway into eating I did also get a weird artificial plasticy flavor, but it was fleeting and maybe I convinced myself I tasted it because other reviewers mentioned it. (I gotta stop reading reviews before I eat things!). The calorie/fat/sugar info is also not great since a serving is 1/15 of a loaf which is ridiculous (I'd say it's probably double that in reality). But, this was actually better than I thought it would be. Fun snack. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

DeLallo Instant Espresso Powder

I got this because of the February DeLallo calendar - affogato! Unfortunately I haven't been able to make that recipe yet, because I also bought DeLallo ladyfingers online for it, and they (and this) read as nut free, and I thought yay! But then when the ladyfingers arrived, they May Contain Nutsed. Annoying and frankly terrifying. I sent them a whiny email, so we'll see if they update the website. Plus when I was googling about that I saw they had a recall for unlabelled pecans in a (different) cookie, so then I got really anxious, etc etc. My calendar dreams might be fading fast in February!!! 

Anyhoo. This is just espresso powder, and both the bottle and the website say it's safe, so like, c'mon, me, I gotta just use it. I tried to make a latte this morning but unfortunately one espresso shot is either not much espresso at all or this is hella weak powder, because it tasted just like Milk Only. And I only put a little milk! So, that wasn't a great success. What I did get from the taste was very "instant coffee", which I guess makes sense. It has that caroby taste, like fake sugary chocolate and not like a strong coffee flavor at all. But, I didn't die! And it mixed with the water well, no grit or any texture issues. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [7$]
Taste: 5/10

Quaker Yellow Corn Meal

I don't typically like things made from corn, other than corn itself. But I got this to sprinkle on a pizza crust, and it did the trick. There's lots in here, it's pretty fine (although they apparently consider this medium-grained), and it seemed good and fun. What on earth should I do with the rest, though? Corn bread, maybe? Stay tuned, me. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10