Pillsbury Toaster Donut - Boston Cream

What a beautiful world we live in. I hope there's no glass in these. Supposedly there are two other flavors of "toaster donut", sprinkle and frosted, but those ones don't have any filling and the reviews for them are really bad. So that's probably why this was the only version at my store. 

I was really bracing myself for some toaster horrors, but weirdly, these are pretty good. They aren't especially donutty, but the frosting is just regular chocolate frosting and the pastry is better than the toaster strudel pastry - I think it's different, but maybe it's just that it's not enmeshing nasty fruit goo. Anyway, it's less flaky/oily and more "funnel cake". To be fair, it is enmeshing some mildly gross weirdly-fruity bright yellow custard, but I don't really even like custard (see: Boston Cream Donut, dunkin version, and Boston Cream Donut Dunkin Version yogurt) so maybe custard fans would be all about it. It's very yellow though. Anyway, there's just a little of it compared to the amount of Strudel fruit goo, and therefore less gross, even though the whole shebang is definitely donut-level sweet. If I could eat donuts every day, I probably would, so I like it. Unfortunately, although I technically could eat this every day, it's not at that level. But I'd try the other flavors! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Blueberry Toaster Strudel

I'm glad I got to try these before embarking on my restrictive new "brain calming diet"! These hard-to-find blueberry strudels are superior to all the red-filled strudels, and possibly even to the apple strudels. King of Strudels! The filling also was much colder than in other flavors, even with the same 2 toaster cycles as always, but maybe my freezer is colder or some other wacky variable. In a way, I am now motivated to stay alive so I have a chance at healing and eating these again. At the same time, let's be honest, the toaster strudel ceiling is not quite that high, so maybe those are some desire-for-what-once-was goggles talking.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Pillsbury Toaster Strudel - Cream Cheese & Strawberry

These seem so appealing on the surface. Back when I could eat a danish, or a cheese crumb pastry, those were top tier treats. This treat is bottom tier. To be fair, it comes at the end of my 'try every toaster strudel in my store' mission, and I'm experiencing heavy toaster strudel fatigue. But even if this were the first strudel subtype, I'd think "there is no cream cheese here! and the strawberry filling is Bad! a waste of a tasty pastry!". It's all true. 

The ""cream cheese"" is actually sour cream and sugar, per the ingredients, which I guess is similar to cream cheese, but tastes only like a pocket of wet air. The strawberry filling is the same as in the strawberry flavor, and I didn't like it. Too strong and medicinal. These do have little ridges on the sides of the pastry, like an empanada, which I didn't notice on the other flavors. That's fine.

To conclude the toaster strudel saga, only apple is worthwhile. There apparently exist blueberry and cinnamon flavors, both of which have potential, but neither of which are at my local shoppe. So perhaps someday we will revisit the toaster strudel mission (but not for quite a while). (It's important to have goals.)

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Pillsbury Apple Toaster Strudel

Finally! As I predicted, this is my favorite filling so far. See you never, fruity red innards ! That's not to say it's perfect; it's still a little artificial, and too sweet and fragrant for my preference. But definitely better than the others I tried, and I've only got one new flavor left at my store (which I think is just strawberry and cream cheese so I'm not too hopeful). And these are still hard to open the frostings of, still annoyingly sticky. Plus it gave me a little tummy ache, which the other ones didn't really. Maybe just bad luck though! Still the top pick!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Toaster Strudel - Strawberry

These strudels are really vexing me! The filling tastes both medicinal and artificial, just like the cherry flavor! Even though it's got real strawberry juice in! Not good vibes. Also still so sticky and messy to eat, which is a personal peeve of mine. But at least these ones aren't expired (I checked before buying this time), and the frosting and pastry itself are good. I am really awaiting a non red-fruit flavor now! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4$ish]
Taste: 6/10

Toaster Strudel - Cherry

More like Toaster Boo-del! (I originally considered Toaster Poo-del but thought that was a little too harsh.) This flavor is whack. Also, the freezer aisle was super crowded so I bought these without my usual ingredient/expiry check, and while I'm not allergic, they were expired!! My store sucks. But I ate them anyway due to Sunk Cost Fallacy and also my parents would say "omg it's frozen, they're FIIINE". But they were not fiiine. I mean, they didn't make me ill(er), but I think it's not just in my head that the pastry felt old, less flaky, stale. What's more, and what's assumedly not oldness related, the filling is surprisingly distinct from the raspberry flavor -- in a bad way. It's bright red, and not fruity, more medicinal. I do not love it. It's edible, but not worth the bad nutrition. Where are you, apple?

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Pillsbury Raspberry Toaster Strudel

The horrors persist, but so does toaster strudel! I can't believe I haven't reviewed a single flavor yet. They are wildly inconvenient compared to a pop-tart -- you have to toast them, usually twice, the icing packet is so hard to open without tearing, it's very sticky, and sometimes burnt. But they also taste way better! It's a pastry! (A strudel, I'm not so sure). The taste hasn't changed a bit since I was a kid, and the frosting and pastry are really good. The filling here isn't my favorite flavor (I guess I like apple best? We'll find out, maybe) but it's serviceable. Sticky though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10