Tostitos Tortilla Chips - Mexican Street Corn

I like [street corn] as a noun, but apparently, not as an adjective. The hint of lime on these is way too heavy to be felicitously considered a hint, which as always has the effect of making them taste like Trix cereal. They are a little spicy which is nice, there's a minor cheese taste as well as a minor "bean paste" vibe (scary), and a serving is 6 chips (although they are very big chips). IDK, man, it's not my vibe. My parents both liked them, although my analysis there is that my dad just likes that weird lime flavor and my mom just likes anything new. At least the bag didn't go to waste!

 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10  

Ruffles Original

More 'o them free school snacks. As it happens, most free things aren't that good (possible exceptions: love, Eagles Win You Win Dunkin' Promo). One thing I can say for Ruffles: they have ridges. Actually, I'm being far too harsh here -- as plain potato chips go, these are among the best. Good texture, extremely oily (yom), no cat litter flavor as in Lays/Pringle. I just will never be stimulated by a plain potato chip. If I were still in the land of French Onion Dip, these could have a place in my life. But I am not.

Overall
Cost: 10/10
Taste: 6/10 

Munchies Snack Mix - Cheese Fix Flavored

Yeah, I've got the munchies. Munchies snack mix from my job that I absolutely pounced on because they don't treat me well and eating my weight in free snacks is what I deserve!!! Unfortunately it's a bit of a "stop hitting yourself" scenario because these are tragic. The ingredos are like War and Peace. Despite student claims to the contrary, the contents of Cheeto, Pretzel, and Cheddar Sun Chip taste just the same as the non-Munchies Mix versions. But the Doritos are tiny little triangles, which is more delicious (less Dorito)! All together it's a cute scene, so why do I scorn it so? Because I don't LIKE Doritos, Cheetos, or Cheddar Sun Chip. Also the pretzels are made of corn (weird). Also, Munchies is the FritoLay brand name used for their peanut butter (et al) cracker packs (scary). Otherwise, this is a fun nut free snack. 

Overall
Cost: FREE/10
Taste: 5/10 

utz Mike's Hot Honey chips

Sometimes I forget utz makes chips, what with all their pretzels! Anyway, these are interesting. Mike's Hot Honey was pretty trendy for a while there, but the only time I had it was at Mod Pizza, where I did enjoy it. As a chip flavor I'm not really sold. The sweet + hot combo reminds me a little of a BBQ chip, but the honey really is present, and so is the basic salty potato chip flavor, and so is a pretty hot heat (if you eat a bunch). Those elements are all good on their own (well, maybe minus the chip), but I am not a big sweet + savory fan and this is a bit too sweet for me. It's not boring or terrible though, two common chip sins.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4$ish]
Taste: 6/10 

Pringles Sharp White Cheddar

People keep saying that I'm too nice. Are they reading my Pringles reviews? That's the only thing I'm too nice about. Honestly. Anyway, these impressed me. The flavoring is pretty different! It is in fact sharp cheddar flavor dust! Unfortunately it's kinda subtle, in that the horrible PRINGLE flavor comes through very strongly. Like a lays chip chased with one of those cheddar cheese square cuts from Cracker Barrel I used to get and then complain about. But I love the flavor science. They should move the Pringles minds over to medicine. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 7/10 [at least until the novelty wears off] 

Pringles Smoky Mesquite BBQ

I never noticed how wild Pringles can art is. This one has baco, a kabob on a grill, and someone painting sauce on a chip. Is that how this flavor tastes? Answer: no. Like all BBQ pringles, this tastes like a bowling alley. Smokey and a little BBQy. Also, Pringlesy, much to my dismay. But I do like BBQy, so that's something. It's a tomato-heavy flavor and not very "spicy" or "vinegary". A little lime for unknown reasons. A little bit Arby's roast beef + Arby's sauce vibe (I miss you, Arby)!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

7-Layer Dip Pringles

What even IS 7-layer dip? I've never had it, so I assume one layer is Bean. And then like..meat? Tomato? Cheese? Sour Cream? Guac? Lettuce? This can shows chip (but I assume that's for dipping and not dip) and olive (ew), and as far as I can tell, no bean. So although the ingredos don't have Bean, there IS "natural flavors" which could ostensibly be bean, which would kill me. But surely if there were bean, they wouldn't hide it, they'd be proud to declare essence of Bean. Some neurotics are born, others are made (by food allergy). Anyway, I ate 'em, so I can decree: no bean. 

The flavor notes are very: tortilla chip (unexpected!), paprika, cumin, taco seasoning in general, mild cheddar cheese dust, mild sour cream, possible lettuce vibe (weird). Pretty accurate flavor match, in other words. You can almost not notice the powerful pringle undertone, which is always my goal with pringles. But it is still there, a little. This flavor isn't listed on the Pringles Website, so perhaps it is discontinued (or otherwise secret). There is a slight olive afternote. Ew (impressed). Also a slight mealiness which I associate with my assumptions about pinto bean paste, although that is also a feature of many potato-forward pringles, too. I guess that's a value add(??). 

Not my favorite flavor, mostly due to bean fears and related anxieties, but pretty impressive/unique/I like the green can. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10 

All Dressed Pringles

Hmm. An interesting varietal. Despite all appearances, I don't really like Pringles that much, but I do like Ruffles All Dressed chips a lot (not just because they're Canadian). These don't really taste like those, though. They smell like fast food fries. They taste like, hmm. Pringle with vinegary BBQ, maybe. The onion on the can looks like a cucumber, and the tomato looks like red pepper. So that's very confusing. Gyro pringles?! But no. They taste like neither onion nor tomato. Maybe tomato a little. There is sour cream and onion (and garlic) in the ingredos, but I mainly get "oil and vinegar" plus a little "pepper and lettuce". It's OK because I like sandwiches, but I would probably call this only partially dressed. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

On the Border Fiesta Dippin' Chips

Ah, the simple pleasures of boring foods. These are fine. Unremarkable. The taste is mid, the texture is mid (they hold up to fiesta dippin' mostly, but not always) and the allergy info is good. Did I Dip & Enjoy? To a certain extent, yes I did. May you all Dip & Enjoy this eve.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Buffalo Wing Pringles

Jesus. These are something. OK, first of all, I don't even LIKE pringles, but they're often a Survivor reward and so I often end up buying them for school and then eating them myself because I get hungry. And then I get in the habit of eating Pringle and so I am more likely to buy additional Pringle. All that to say: these showed up in my store's SUPER CLEARANCE section (which is like 2 selves - it's rare to have food in there, usually seasonal paper plates and ant killer etc) and I was in Pringles-mode so I bought 'em. The trouble with the super clearance section is that the things in there are usually seasonal/discontinued, broken/damaged, or Really Really Bad. I actually think these might be discontinued (because now there is a "buffalo ranch" flavor), but they are also really really bad. "Bursting with flavor" is right. But the instant smell& flavor is burnt plastic. Like a really strong, bad, chemical smell and flavor. Like someone melted the little wax papers they pick up donuts with and then you ate one of those. Oh, it's bad. But then after you mentally process that, there is a strong, spicy (hardly medium! or I guess I'm extra cayenne-sensitive) buffalo wing flavor. Both the sauce (hot, vinegary, scary in how much it burns me) and, weirdly, the chicken wing (no chicken or meat ingredos here though). Like even the burnt bird fat (excuse my language) comes through. The accuracy is actually shocking, like the first time I had BLT chips and was like "woah??". I don't really like buffalo wings in themselves, so that's nothing to write blogs about, but it is still crazy how they did it from a food science perspective. I wonder if the burnt plastic chaser is the only way to make it happen. Or if I had a weird can (happens more often than you'd think). Part of me is so curious that I want to get more just for research. But it's very off-putting at the front. But very intriguing at the back. And pringles win: both flavors are so powerful that the underlying yucky chip flavor doesn't even play a role here at all. Using advanced licking technology, I can confirm that both the chemical flavor and the accurate flavor are contained within the powdered seasoning and not the chip itself. It's wild. Like the apple jack poptart, this is an experience that will stay with me for a long time. And what is a life well-lived if not a series of notable experiences? 

Overall
Cost: 8/10 [1$]
Taste: 4/10 

Pringles Everything Bagel

From one unsatisfying chip to another! These intrigued me because they're an everything bagel flavor that doesn't contain sesame, or indeed any other seeds (although there is onion and garlic and corn). When I was very little, before my seed allergy took root, I really liked everything bagels. But it turns out, this doesn't taste like everything or bagel. It mostly tastes like a popcorn ball. Weird salty puffed grain flavor. Like a Quaker Rice Cake. With a little potato aftertaste. I guess from the can picture, cream cheese is part of their "everything" conception, which could account for the... sour? puffed grain notes. But the bread does not come through. Frankly, the garlic and onion don't even come through, and they're in the actual ingredients! That being said, it's not offensive or horrible, it just doesn't taste like what it ought to. Silly Mr Pringle. This is also one of the worst reviewed Pringle flavors out there, which made me smile. The people want authenticity in their flavor labelling!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Kettle Brand Potato Chips - Sea Salt

I've probably waxed on about this before, but some people get (what I view as) performatively lusty for potato products. Like "oooh tater tots/chips/fries/mash/hash browns :9999999999". I cannot relate to those people because I think potatoes are "okay". I love carbs, don't get me wrong, but potatoes just don't scratch any itch for me. The bacon-obsessed bros or the cheese obsessed wine moms were more relatable (even though I view those obsessions as a little performative too). What's that? Others think my Dunkin obsession is performative AND disgustingly corporate? Well, that's fine. They can write about that in their own little blogs then. Frankly, it's good to have a special interest, and the potato people are lucky because potatoes ARE very versatile. The problem with these chips is I see them as (oily salty) pure essence of potato. The only flavor note is "potato chip". The texture is nice and gentle, but the taste is sooooo boring to me. And this is supposed to be a treat? I resent that. As plain chips go, Kettle Brand is aces for their allergy info and thickness (thin=less potato flavor per cubit), but the only reason I buy these as school snacks is they're portable (and safe). 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

On The Border Tortilla Rounds

Ahoy! After living on chips and sweets for a week, thank god it's the weekend so I can actually cook something (soup) and then put.... chips on it. Ha ha. I don't even like tortilla chips, but I'm a slave to the recipe, what can I say. One thing I can say is that I got this style ("rounds") instead of the nice café style I got last time because I wanted to try something different. But as is often the case, different is worse. These aren't flaky at all. No layers. Just salty, salty corn (said in Vanessa Bayer's "wet wet mud" cadence). It's fine for soup-complementing, but as a snack food, they don't interest me. Although they are perfectly standard, and firmer than Tostitos with better allergy history, so go for it if you like tortilla chips. A good oily sheen, too. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [<3$, which is good nowadays]
Taste: 6/10 

On the Border Café Style Chips

I should have got some sort of dip; chips are so boring and not great without dip. (I bought these to top tortilla soup, but I didn't yet make the soup!!) Anyway, they taste like tortilla chips. Big salty corn wedges; quite thin; nice opaque yellow color (but sadly, transparent white flavor (think store not restaurant)). I got these for two reasons: they were the cheapest tortilla chip, but also they're made by utz, who declare online that: 

"All our facilities are peanut and tree nut free. We advise that you check the packaging in hand as we have some items that are made by third parties and there will be a declaration noted on the packaging."

That's very good; we love utz for that. A weird thing, though, is that all the other utz's say this on the actual product ("peanut and tree nut free") and this says nothing at all except "gluten free". Presumably just as safe, but then why not say so? My best guess is that utz already has another tortilla chip line ("Tort-I-Yahs" or some nonsense) and so they're trying to make these seem like a different brand entirely, for market variety/economical reasons. It would have worked on me if I didn't have to read every label with a lawyer's eye! 

OK, after a few, I do think these are a little better than the average, mainly for textural reasons: super fine and flaky, like those deep fried egg roll wrappers (🥺). It's delicate! It's got layers! These chips are just like me!

Overall
Cost: 8/10 [2$]
Taste: 6/10 

Tortiyahs! Restaurant Style

Oh, chip. I got these not because of the frankly unappealing branding, but because I was looking for Utz brand tortilla chips in support of their nut-free copy. And behold, THESE are the Utz brand tortilla chips! Must be a recent rebranding (or I'm just really ignorant about tortilla chips, also possible). How silly. I guess for those consumers who like to try new things (haha...) the gambit might pay off.

Anyway, these taste like tortilla chips. Good size (big), nice crunch, no complaints really. Actually, one complaint: 11oz is a stupid size for a bag. Every recipe is for 6oz, 12oz, etc, and you're giving me 11oz? Horrible. Other than that, no complaints. Uncooked they're very generic; baked for nacho (mm nacho) they have a delightful fried aroma (like chinese crispy noodles) the likes of which I haven't seen before. Perfect nacho chip; normie chip chip.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5$ish???]
Taste: 6/10

Kettle Brand Spicy Pimento Cheese Chips

No, these are not on the approved list. No, I don't care!!!! 

Now that we got that out of the way. These really are spicy. I like a spicy snack. Good burn. The rest of the flavor is kind of "curdley cheese (aged)" and I don't care for it. Maybe it's because I was expecting Kraft Pimento Cheese Spread vibes and I'm getting spicy cat litter vibes, but if there were no spice they would be just no good. Luckily the spice is the extremely predominant note. Also, the brand is nut free and proud, and there have been a lot of high profile (allergy) deaths lately so I'm extra appreciative of that this month. 

 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Cape Cod Potato Chips - Sea Salt

One thing I really like about Cape Cod chips is that their website says explicitly that they don't use any nuts. That's a huge relief and makes me want to love them! But I am sad to report that these are just not my favorite chip. They are adequate at best. The crunch and texture are good, but the flavor is weird, and reminiscent of Lays or mealy old oil. I wish things were different, but they're just not the chip of my dreams.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Deep River Sour Cream & Onion Chips

Ooh, crinkles! These are very firm. Fun to eat, but the flavor is just so-so. Whatever green spice is on these (green onion? chive? parsley? idk because it just says "spices"!!) is much more prominent and in bigger chunks than you usually get in chips, which is fun but I wish I knew what it was. I like a chip and this is a nice, safe chip, but I do have the feeling it could be better (softer and different/more flavor) nevertheless. Also, I'm basically blind so who knows what I'm even saying.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Herr's Creamy Ranch & Habenero Potato Chips

I know I swore off Herr's in my last review because of their blanket "everything is a may contain for everything" policy (which they are too cowardly to actually put on the package!!!!!!!). However this was the only new-to-me product in the one functioning vending machine at my job. It's slim pickings, folks. And the label reads as safe so it's probably fine, but I don't like that I bought it. Next time I'll have more conviction. Anyway, ignoring my label annoyance, these are solid chips. They really do have a good amount of spice to them, which I like because it covers up the ranch flavor underneath. The main notes are "burning" and a little "weird cream". Perhaps "pepper". No cheese, which is rare for a spicy chip. Would I rather have a safe jalepeno chip? Definitely. If you want to feel like you're on fire and maybe dying a little, these are your chipmen. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Kettle Brand Farmstand Ranch Chips

I really like the brand -- nut free! And lots of flavors! I don't usually like ranch things much though, so even though the color of the bag is very pretty, this isn't my favorite flavor. (I think I like the cheese and jalepeno ones best). They're very firm and crunchy, yet delicate. I think that style is growing on me. The amount of seasoning is good -- definitely enough to taste it but not overwhelming (i.e. you can still taste potato). And yeah, the seasoning tastes like ranch. That is, some herb type stuff, plus some sour milk type taste. Haha. Better than plain, but worse than almost all other flavors, I think.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10