Perdue Chicken Thighs

Sorry vegetarians, the lacto-ovo life was killing me. The only reason I'm living the lacto-ovo life in the first place (apart from cost and fatigue, I guess) is that my grocery store has been out of non-store-brand chicken breasts for several months now. I was starting to think Perdue went out of business. But, they didn't, because they recently started stocking "Chicken Thighs". I love chicken thighs. As you can see, they have skin on, but I wasn't sure if they had bones in (they do) and there was absolutely no indication of this on the package. I should have used pragmatics to conclude that if it didn't say boneless, it must be boned (bone-in?), but grocery labelling is honestly worse at pragmatics than me, so IDK. A bone-in chicken thigh is a little bit like duck. It's fatty and delicious. (I just released that 2 of my favorite (live) birds are also 2 of my favorite meats, which is kind of weird, but that's #farmlife for you I guess). I cold roasted these with shallot and carrot and now I'm living the good life for the rest of the week. When I was a kid, we never had any bone-in or skin-on meat because of diet culture (or, charitably, health culture), and so I only had it on vacation, which is probably why it is so decadent to me now. I don't even eat the skin! But I could!! It's the little things.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [10.50$, but that's 4-8 meals, so, worth it]
Taste: 7/10 

Signature Select Boneless Skinless Chicken Thighs

Behold! My store now has chicken thighs! This is great news for protein-lovers, but mid news for allergy-havers, because store brand meat/deli/bakery stuff all has the same allergy disclaimer (processed with every ingredient you can name, and more). And there are nut-containing meats (mortadella), so there is a little bit of legitimate fear with something like this as far as shared cutting surfaces, counters, gloves, etc. Buuut this is just chicken (ingredients: chicken) and from inspection, there don't look like any non-chicken residues, so I figure it's a reasonable risk (even though I'd much rather any actual company > in-store(?) butchery). I also don't really need 8 thighs (that's 3.5lbs), even for a big crock-pot recipe, so I had to do the gross repackaging-and-freezing-and-labelling dance, but I guess these work out to like 1.75$/thigh, which is a good deal (certainly cheaper than the 5 breasts for 13-15$ bag). Thighs are also more delicious than other chicken parts (sorry to discuss chicken parts on main). And while we're at it, I also doubt the ethics of store brand chicken... but we all make our little choices. 

Anyway, taste is good. Nice moist chicken. Shockingly fatty after a full year of breast-only life (aha), but that's a plus for me. The "bbq" sauce I slow cooked it in was just like, tomato paste (in flavor), so that was a disappointment, and I may have cooked it a little too far into mushiness, but I think those were user error and not chicken failure.  

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10 

Perdue Thin Sliced Chicken Breasts

It's kinda messed up that people wanted plumper chicken breasts, so they selectively bred massive birds, and now the breasts are TOO BIG so they're selling these "thin cutlet" packages instead (at a premium price point). But a lot of things are kinda messed up, aren't they?

Anyway, I spent a pretty penny on these, but it was worth it to make a nice herby chicken dish. These cook quickly (~8min), taste good, and didn't have any weirdnesses (or pee smell, but I didn't use the oven...). Actually, they had one weirdness: the outside of the package smelled so, so bad, but all the meat in my jank-city grocery store is like that, especially on Saturdays. Luckily the inside was uneventful. I was surprised that there were like 6-7 pieces in a 1.5lb package (5 normie chickens, 2 surprise "oh that's separate" chickens), but I guess that's the whole point. Thin chicken is certainly more delightful than thick chicken. Convenient. If I were rich I'd be buying these weekly I bet.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10

Hatfield Hardwood Smoked Ham Steak

I'm surprised I didn't have this flavor ("plain") yet, but I guess it is indeed less tasty than the honey or sugar flavors. It was for a pasta recipe with cream sauce, though, so I thought plain was the right call. This is already cooked so it's convenient for use as an ingredient. It's a half pound which is also good for that. No complaints, just not particularly delicious like a Christmas ham :P

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Shady Brook Farms Ground Turkey 93/7

This is really good. Their website reassures there's no nuts or soy etc in the ground turkey, it's just turkey. It cooks easily and tastes good. There's a little fat, but not very much (though weirdly less dry than the 85/15 which is why I bothered to review this separately). This one also has way higher reviews online, so it's not just me! This is the king of ground meats! I got worried because it puffed up in the freezer, but apparently that's normal and due to the packaging or whatever. Also, defrosting it was a total fail, but it cooked from half-frozen just fine so all was well.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Swanson White Chunk Chicken - Original

Chicken in a pouch?! I'm allergic to tuna, and I'm allergic to most canned meat in soups etc (due to soy), so I never ever considered that pouch chicken was an option. But the ingredients here are just chicken and water, no soy or bean juice. I was still scared, but it was fine. Well, the texture and smell is kinda gross -- gloopy like cat food. But it tastes like chicken, albeit wet, salty chicken. It's good to have a shelf-stable protein option though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Hatfield Pre-Sliced Quarter Sliced Boneless Ham with Water Added

This is a nice ham for a small family like mine. It tastes like ham, is safe both pre-cooked-wise and allergen wise (at least in my experience), and it is nicely cut already. Nothing earth shattering, but tastes like ham!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Hillshire Farm Ultra Thin Oven Roasted Turkey Breast

My parents had this at their house, and I choose to believe they bought it with me in mind, since I can't eat meat from the deli counter due to Allergy. I never had the HF turkey before, but I like their ham. This was very ham like. Thin, wet, and a little sweet for turkey. But good for snacking and safe and protein! I support it.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

PERDUE PERFECT PORTIONS - Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast All Natural

OK, so these are perfect because the only ingredient is Chicken. I wasn't actually sure because there are no ingredients listed on the package, but online confirms it! And I never want more than one breast at a time, so these are great for me (although probs not for earth; sorry earth). I usually defrost in the microwave and pan fry, but this bag has instructions on different cooking ways, and one is "oven from frozen", so I figured I'd try that (30min on 350). Unfortunately my meat thermometer is out of commission, so I'm praying it worked! The 30 minutes didn't seem like enough, since it was still pretty pink, so I gave it another 15 minutes and that seemed good. The chicken was tasty and slightly dry but not burnt. Tasted like chicken and was filling and a normal chicken texture. Unfortunately my insides are still broken, but I don't think that's this chicken's fault!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Corte Buona Prosciutto Italiano

I think this one might be better than the Premio Store Brando Prosciutto! At first I thought this was a weird store brand too, but it might be a real Italian company. Nice. Anyway, I thought it was a little bit less salty or more meaty? Or something? Solid stuff. Clear instructions for expiry. Appreciated.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Johnsonville Smoked Beef Rope Sausage

This is very weird. It's precooked, but you have to cook it. It's a sausage but it tastes like a hot dog. I guess hot dogs are technically sausage (ew), but they have a special name because they taste so different, darn it! Sausage is weird. At least this was easy to cut and I guess easy to cook, although I baked mine on a pizza instead of following the instructions. I only ate like 1/8 of this but that was honestly enough. It was not good for pizza and honestly would not be good for anything you don't want hot dog bits in. Explicitly nut free per their website, though, which I do appreciate! (And soy free per the ingredos, anyway).

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Jimmy Dean Fully Cooked Turkey Sausage Links

Yep, these taste like a breakfast sausage all right! OK in small doses, but gets a little much after 3 links. Bafflingly, though a serving is 3, they come in packs of 6. I don't like this annoying packaging. But, they are super easy to cook, and soy free. So I don't hate them. I got these to maybe put on a pizza and I'm glad I didn't because breakfast sausage is not the same as sausage sausage. Nevertheless, for breakfast sausage, no serious complaints.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Perdue Crispy Chicken Strips

Perdon't stop me from my Perdue binge! After delighting in soy-free chicken for weeks, I got a new kind to try. These are bigger, crispy-coated strips, but the ingredients look pretty similar. One annoying thing about these is that the serving size is in ounces, so I don't know how many a serving is. I guessed it was 2, but it might be 1, or more likely something like 1.3. Stupid serving sizes. Anyway, I tried making them in the oven, and I actually took them out 2 minutes early (I mixed up the timer noise with my oven preheat noise (I reject preheating in my life)) but they seemed well-done! Anyway, maybe they could have been even better. But these were solid. My chicken experiments are getting tastier as I go. They have a nice crispy outside, a good amount of breading, and a moist, non-weird chickeny inside. I mean this as a complement: they taste like chicken tenders from a chain restaurant. KFC, even. Now I don't love chicken tenders as a food, so maybe my assessment is skewed, but I really thought these were solid. They were better without a sauce, but maybe I'm just sick of Heinz Hot 57 and I'm thinking about buying a BBQ sauce just to continue my chicken exploits. Primarily with these, maybe. Nice. Filling, too, so 2 is a good serving.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [11$ish]
Taste: 7/10

John Soules Foods - Steak Fajitas

These were literally the only non-raw beef strips at my whole grocery store! Fajita flavor wasn't what I wanted, but the flavor wasn't too overpowering, so that was OK. And there's no soy/legume protein in these, so that's a good sign. But otherwise, these didn't really impress me -- they were easy to heat up on the stove and all, but they were also chewy, which was not great. One piece was all gristle. The taste was OK so I'd get these again if I were in a similar situation (in a rush for cooked steak strips), but if another option shows up I'd probably try that instead first.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5.99]
Taste: 6/10

Primo Taglio Prosciutto

This tastes like prosciutto alright! Quite salty, generally tasty, if you fry it up a bit it turns a cheesy noodle into a carbonara tasting dish. So I like that. A little goes a long way though! These are surprisingly low-cal for the punch they pack. (Also expensive!)

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 7/10

Shady Brook Farms 85% Lean - 15% Fat Ground Turkey

You know what, this is the fattiest ground turkey I've ever had in terms of the percentage, but when I cooked it (with oil!!) there was still like no drippings left over (and my recipe assumed there'd be drippings)! I guess it's good that it tasted lean even if it wasn't. This was also weirdly goopy compared to ground beef -- I guess I'm a little bit of a raw meat noob since I only use it for wine recipes. Anyway, this cooked fine, was tasty enough (jk it tasted like nothing, but that's tasty enough), and best of all, the website is very clear that there's no nuts in the facility and the flavorings are just spices (no legumes). So I like the company and will pivot from Jenny-Os posthaste.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5$]
Taste: 7/10

Oscar Mayer Cheese Dogs

Cheese is these hot dogs's toxic trait. Why is there cheese in there? Worse, why is it in weird little polka dots throughout, rather than in a stripe or something?! I can just buy cheese! And it doesn't super go with ketchup, but it isn't very good without, so IDK what to do with these. They're filling and quick but a little gross. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Oscar Mayer Classic Beef Franks

So let me be "frank" with you -- I wasn't looking for a beef frank. I wanted a turkey dog, a chicken dog, or worst case scenario, a part turkey dog. But the only one of those at my store were nearly expired long turkey dogs at twice the price. Disgusting. So I got these, even though they're shortening my lifespan as we speak. At least they taste fine. All these franks frankly taste the same to me. I don't know why, but when the semester winds down, I yearn for a hot dog. Now I have 10!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Perdue Flavor-Infused Greek-Inspired Diced Chicken

Your girl overdid it on the pre-cooked chicken, it seems! Like the chili flavor, this was decent, and I'm glad I used less oil this time. It was still slightly wet for my liking, and a lemonier taste kinda sorta came through. In the end, it's just too much meat. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Perdue Flavor-Infused Green Chili Diced Chicken

I used too much oil in the pan here (2-3 Tbsp is way, way too much) and I burned myself and also got a bit of the ol' tummy ache. Nevertheless, this was pretty good (though fatty meat bits even without the oil); it tastes like... chicken. Makes 2 solid servings for pita or whatever.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [9.50ish]
Taste: 7/10