Eggo Buttermilk Pancakes

You may know I have about 5 food-related complaints of late, and one of them is that they simply stopped making frozen French Toast. Nowhere to be seen! Well, it turns out the same is true of frozen pancakes, except waffle-makers Eggo have stepped in there (before or after the end of Frozen Pancake, I don't know). Who used to make them? I think Pillsbury, maybe the company now known as Pearl Milling Company, maybe someone I'm forgetting? Anyway, now Eggo is all there is. But that's fine, you say, they're Kellogg's, that's all fine. Ah! But! Another top complaint is that everyone is adding PEA PROTEIN to everything, and so too are Eggo's frozen pancakes PROTEINIFIED with LEGUME!! Not these, but almost every other one is. It seems rife for cross-contam issues, especially since it's not even a Top 9 Allergen (Y E T). So I can't enjoy these in peace. Also, they taste very mid. And they squash together in a mush when you cook them. But as a vessel for butter/toppings I guess they do the job. Always my least favorite of the big 3 frozen breakfast breads, anyway.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Eggo Minis - French Toast - Cinnamon

I'm still chasing that French Toast dream! These are new, but they ain't it either. However, they are cute little toasts; 8 per serving. They're also wrapped in single-serve pouches like Pop-Tarts, which I have never seen in a French Toast product and which is a bad sign for Earth. But admittedly was good for preventing freezer burn. They mostly tasted like a pancake. Nothing French Toasty there except the shape, and the cinnamon is also extremely subtle. But it didn't scream waffle as much as the French Toaster sticks, I guess. Happy that our cute little French girl toast mascot returns (with ribbons instead of hat!), in addition to the little French cinnaman. There are even more french eggo mascots to gender on the back of the box, so I had a good time with these even though the taste was uninspiring. I'm also off antihistamines for a week due to my upcoming allergy testing, and I'm an itchy, weepy, chest-painy mess therefore, so if I hate everything I ate this week perhaps take it with a French grain of salt. 

Oh! I toasted them. 1 cycle. Seemed right. But then I saw that microwave (IN THE PLASTIC) is supposedly the recommend way to cook 'em, so I'll try that next, since that is indeed the way to make Frozen French toast. I'm already 50% microplastics like the rest of my generation, so I'm sure it's fine. If it tastes any better I'll return with the good news.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Eggo French Toaster Sticks - Cinnamon

Boy, do I have some complaints! I went to the store looking for some frozen French Toast, and come to discover, there is none anymore. What!? So apparently the renamed Pearl Milling Company had a recall about 6 years ago and never resumed making french toast after that. They were my go-to! My childhood toast! And there weren't any store brand options or Eggo options, either. The next best thing, I guessed, would be french toast sticks, but they didn't have Murray's, just these Eggo french toastER sticks. I had assumed the -ER was for, like, copyright or something, but now I'm thinking it's because these aren't french toast at all, just batter in bread form that you put in your toast-er. No egginess, fluffiness, no nothin'. They taste exactly like a nookless Eggo waffle, which makes sense, but I yearned for French Toast and not waffle!! (Also, the appeal of a waffle is surely the nooks.) These are also marketed as Eggo For Kids®, which (a) haha @ me, but also, (b) is sensible because all my whiny "i hate any flavor or texture" adult kid friends would probably eat these. I guess it's good there is a breakfast equivalent of dinosaur chicken nuggets, and they are nut-free and have a cute lady toast mascot, so it's not bad, it's just I'm baffled by the total and sudden disappearance of what I considered one of the big 3 frozen breakfast bread products. Now the freezer is full of Jimmy Deans and Protein Mini Waffles. The 1900s are over for real, I guess.  

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Crisis of lost youth: 9/10 

Eggo Homestyle Waffles

I'm currently at a high level of emotional despair, which I feel is reflected in my horrible waffle selection here. These have no flavor! Why bother!? I couldn't endure a totally plain waffle, so I added syrup and then they were good because I was eating hot syrup. But like, what are any of us doing here? I guess I don't want this to be my last tragic blog entry, so they serve a small motivational purpose. Good work, extremely boring waffles.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$]
Taste: 6/10

Kellogg's Eggo Strawberry Waffles

Dang -- the last new Eggo flavor I tried was 5 whole months ago, when I noted that something was really wrong with my brain. And I was right! Time flies. Anyway, I toasted these for two cycles and that was just perfect. They smell like homemade pancakes (very eggy/oily) but they tasted like nothing. Eggy buttermilk dough I guess. The strawberry swirl isn't very prominent; you only get a few bites of mild strawberry flavor. But I do like these as a handy hand snack, plus they make me think about how far I've come (EMOTIONALLY) since my last wafflin'. I guess with syrup these would be a lot better, but that sounds like a lot of (sticky) work. Hand waffles are the way of the future.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$ on sale]
Taste: 7/10

Eggo Cinnamon Churro Waffles

The longer it goes on, the more clear it is that something is really wrong with my brain. I'm having cognitive and also motor issues! But there's no issues with these waffles. They are fine. They aren't really exciting or novel, since they just taste mainly of "waffle", but I can eat them as hand fruits with no sauce and that's good to do at this time in life (which is a bottom tier time, one of the worst actually). The cook time is hard to get right. I think one cycle is enough but it's not quite enough. The taste is mild cinnamon and major waffle. I hope I make it to a time where I can try a superior flavor and have good brain about it. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Eggo Chocolatey Chip Banana Waffles

These are great! I didn't have any syrup but it was actually fine. These are like little banana breads shaped like waffles. Very sweet, good banana flavor, little bits of choco. I like banana flavor as it turns out. I'm not sure if these would even go with syrup as a more traditional waffle, I ate them like hand snacks, but I'll give it a try later! One toasting cycle was fine for these.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 8/10

Eggo Blueberry Waffles

They're a classic for a reason! I like the little stick 'n seal strip they include - talk about innovation in waffle tech. Two toaster cycles works well for these, and they're a solid, tasty brekkie. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Eggo Grab & Go Liège-Style Waffles - Buttery Maple

Cute! It's a shame you only get 4 waffles per box, because these are pretty good. So far I've tried them both "thawed" and "toasted" and toasted is much much better. Thawed is a bit like an uncooked waffle, if you could believe it. But toasted they're a nice, warm-ish, sweet treat. I do really like the pearls of sugar on there. I don't LOVE maple flavor but it's not too overpowering on these, and the other flavor (strawberry?) might be more my speed. Good stuff though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Eggo Mini Muffin Tops - Blueberry

Oh, dear. These are so bad for you, but so good! They come in these cute little sheets of 4 "muffin tops" which you toast, and then eat by tearing them apart. They're great for a snack but not really for a breakfast. They taste like little pastries, but not like a blueberry muffin. Nonetheless, they're really good. :9

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 9/10