Hidden Valley Ranch Cheez-Its

From a non-horrible pickle flavor to a non-horrible ranch flavor! What a world, eh? Maybe I'm just relieved they aren't a weird smokey flavor for once in my cheez-it life. These don't really scream "ranch", to be fair, more like "regular cheez it with some chicken-in-a-biscuit (umami) vibes". Not a super strong flavor, either, which is good since I'm on the fence about it. An appropriate snack for those "I really needed to mow today but it started raining before I got to it so now I'm inside eating cheez-its" evenings. Put that on your Spotify playlist. Alas and/or hooray. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Cheez-It Smoked Gouda

Unlike families, each unhappy Smoked Cheez-It flavor is pretty darn alike. I don't think I could pick this out of a smoked lineup, even though the reviews for it are weirdly positive. Sure, gouda seems much classier than cheddar, and it looks like it might taste different, but the overwhelming note is still Smoke Flavor, which I hate. (I got these at the same time as the other ones, if you are wondering "why then do you have these.) I guess they are marginally less intense, which is a slight point in their favor, but it is marginal. If it weren't for the smoke flavor, I think they'd be tasty, since I do perceive a pleasant cheese cracker in there somewhere. If you eat a bunch at once, the smoke flavor is kinda backgrounded, and so they do get better. But each new session is an agony. Alas. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Cheez-It Smoked Cheddar

I dunno why I got these, since I never liked Cheez-Its much to begin with, and I absolutely hate "smoked" flavor on anything (especially Chee(z)e). It's like I see a "new flavor" label on something I'm not allergic to and I fully dissociate until I'm home eating them. Very cool behavior. Anyway, these taste about like you'd expect. Baseline Cheez-it with smokey fake flavoring on top. Somewhat addictive once you get going. They do have MSG, which is either a migraine trigger or simply racism (or both). I didn't finish the last gross smoked Cheez-It box I bought, but it's about to be summer, so maybe I'll be so bored I'll finish these. It won't be a pleasure, though!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Cheez-It Puff'd White Cheddar Snacks

A weird thing about these is that they do not resemble Cheez-it (non-puff'd) at all! These are more like cheese puffs, but with a somewhat savory/umami/MSG flavor to them. It's weird at first, but also addictive. They are cheesy and very soft. Like cheesy puff'd chicken in a biscuit crackers, sorta. They're good and they have a may contain for non-nut things, which is reassuring.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Cheez-it Sizzlin' Bacon

The reviews for these are not great, and that's because they taste weird. I find it a little reassuring that other people said so, because (as always) I'm scared I'm allergic, but there's no listed beans/soy protein/peas/mustard, even though "bacon flavor" is often a secret soy protein time. But these are just regular cheez-it crackers (no other bits), albeit strangely flavored. I guess the taste is kinda like a very smokey BBQ chip. But on a Cheez-It. Not much Cheez flavor to speak of, and a definite hickory vibe. Points for not killing me, but otherwise I don't love it.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Cheez-it extra toasty cheddar jack

I never quite got the hang of cheez-its. They're not as pure as a goldfish, denser maybe, and this flavor has a weird sweet/umami powder. At first I don't love it, but the more I eat the more I want to eat (the power of MSG?). I think I prefer plain cheez its even though I don't love plain cheez its either. There is a little jack flavor, I guess, not sure if there's really "toasty" flavor. I need all the permutations of toasty/non-toasty x cheddar jack/cheddar to know what's really happening here. And that's too many cheez its for my future!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Cheez-It - Cheddar Jack

Hmm, I thought these were kinda weird. The flavoring powder is kind of like pizza goldfish or something I can't really put my finger on, but I like it, but then the inside cracker part is of course a cheez-it, and it doesn't match with the flavoring very well in my opinion. I think this is my least favorite cheez-it flavor so far because of this mismatch, but maybe I just need more exposure to it. Like wine? Anyway, it's OK.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Cheez-It White Cheddar

At first, I did not like these very much, but the next few little bags I really liked. Seems highly variable! They have a very salty taste, but the sodium isn't THAT high -- is this what MSG does to a person? They are either quite good or just OK, depending on the day. I don't know what to tell you!

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 7/10

Cheez-Its

As a kid, Cheez-its were kind of like soda to me -- I didn't get the appeal. I didn't hate them or anything, but they taste burnt and not creamy or fatty or sweet, so what's the point? Now that I'm older I can appreciate a salty snack a bit more for its own sake, although this particular bag was kind of weird -- it smelled oddly sweet and the cheezers were awfully crispy. The taste was OK though. I'm not sure how I feel about Cheez-Its. I guess: they're fine.

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10

Cheez-It Snack Mix - Double Cheese

I used this to eat Easy Mac when I didn't have a spoon. It held up. Thanks, Cheez-It! Otherwise, this is really salty and the ingredients list is, like, absurdly long. But it tastes good. All the components are fun: two cheez-it flavors (mostly indistinguishable), cheeto type things (good), little tiny bread pieces (salty bits) and pretzels (the healthy palate cleanser). A good hotel late night snack!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10