Crofter's Strawberry Squeeze-able Fruit Spread

Osito, putting jam into a squeezy tube only makes sense if there's not 20 servings in there. Otherwise it's all sticky and floppy and you have to knife it to even it out on your starch anyway. This is a horrible form factor; I hate it very much. The color is also a brown paste, like cat toothpaste, which is disconcerting in a different way than a bright red is. But it tastes like nice normal strawberry jam, so it's a good product; I'd just surely rather a jar. Ah well. You take what you can get!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Chocolatey Chocolate Lucky Charms

Surely I've had these before? Nope, just S'mores Lucky Charms, which were somewhat Chocolatey but not Chocolatey chocolate, you dig? Anyway, these are fine. Not as good as regular Lucky Charms for me, but I don't much like chocolate flavored things. As such things go, the corn bits (not oat, which is a downgrade) are solid. Good cocoa flavor. And the marshmallows go well - there are some normie colored ones and some chocolatey ones, but they all basically taste like chocolate-sugar-mush. Since it is record breakingly hot outside, chocolate-sugar mush (and not oven time) is just what the doctor (me) ordered!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Kellogg's Crispix Cereal

Wow! I thought I knew what Crispix was (off-brand Chex), but I didn't! It's hexagonal, for one thing. And it is corn on one side, rice on the other. A mash-up. A rice/corn love story. It's beautiful. The colors are slightly different too (thanks to turmeric, ha). It tastes like those two chexes... together. I do prefer the rice side, but it's all the better because it's in contrast to the corn side. Genius! Crispix for life! 
n.b. it's not very crispy, but I surely don't care about that. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 (a certain ceiling for the chex-types)

Ruffles Original

More 'o them free school snacks. As it happens, most free things aren't that good (possible exceptions: love, Eagles Win You Win Dunkin' Promo). One thing I can say for Ruffles: they have ridges. Actually, I'm being far too harsh here -- as plain potato chips go, these are among the best. Good texture, extremely oily (yom), no cat litter flavor as in Lays/Pringle. I just will never be stimulated by a plain potato chip. If I were still in the land of French Onion Dip, these could have a place in my life. But I am not.

Overall
Cost: 10/10
Taste: 6/10 

La Croix Pastèque (Watermelon)

 

There is something ridiculous about the fact that La Croix insists their name is NOT French (thus, pronounced [lə kɹoɪ]) and yet they name this flavor pastèque, which unlike pamplemousse, nobody knows what [] is. However, I dunno if I'm just relieved to be alive, but this is great. Maybe because I can't have watermelon-the-fruit anymore (OAS... cruel...), but watermelon-the-drink is so nice and pleasant. This seems way stronger (i.e. flavored) than their other flavors, too. It's a little bit floral/artificial/weird, but not too bad. Almost candy-ish. Sweet. But it's 0 calos. So it's the splenda version of watermelon flavor. But it's hitting. Oh, it's hitting. Plus I like the color scheme very much.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Hershey's Strawberries 'N' Creme Bar

Finally, I've completed the weird Hershey's Ice "Creme" Bar trio. This one does evoke strawberry ice cream (possibly because I had also stored it in the freezer), but it did make my tongue a little tingly (to be fair to the candy bar, I am currently goin' through some brain stuff). The crunchy bits are just like, freeze dried strawberry pieces, and the bar is just the usual sweet milk oil creme. I think I'm not into what the Hershey's 'N Creme Line has to offer, generally. Ah well. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Spindrift Cherry

Yay, a new spindrift flavor. And it's not even on the Forbidden list (no caff, no citrus, no allergens). Somehow I'm on such high alert that I got a bit paniccy when I first tried it, maybe that's just the power of carbonation (and May). Anyway, this is a good flavor! It's tart, but not painfully so. Not oversweet but not the Nothing vibes of a seltzer. Jolly good. And a cute color too. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [6$ for 8...hrm...]
Taste: 7/10 

Galbani Whole Milk Ricotta cheese - Lactose Free

I'm moderately lactose intolerant (or at least, ice cream and soft cheese and big milk make me Regret), but I haven't had any serious ricotta trauma, possibly because other trauma is always more pressing. Anyway, this was on Mega Sale at the store, so I got it because it's just ricotta with an enzyme in it. Perhaps they're not making it anymore, which is too bad because I support the mission. The texture and taste seemed normal. Weirdly I had an extra bad stomach ache after eating the chicken dish with this in, but that could be down to so many things that I hesitate to draw any conclusions. Anyway, tastes fine. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [1.49$]
Taste: 6/10 

Pepperidge Farm Whole Grain Thin-Sliced 100% Whole Wheat Bread

Yay!! Normie bread! This is scary because look at it (looks seed-y), but it's truly just wheat. No flax, no sunflower seeds, no rye, no legume protein, not even a sesame warning. It isn't weirdly big like their farmhouse bread, it's just a modest sandwich-sized slice. The taste is not sweet at all, the texture is a little dry but fine, it goes great with butter, I am so happy about this bread. Yay.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Starburst Fruit by the Foot Mini Feet

This is an Easter candy, broadly construed. How silly. They really are mini. There are two flavors:

Strawberry: A weirdly light color, almost bubble-gum looking. Tastes like a strawberry candy flavor more than a strawberry gummy/fruit snack. Again, weirdly small. But tastes good. 7/10

Lemon: This is a little better than the strawberry; tastes like a lemon fruit snack (which to be honest I don't know if I've ever had? But if I did!) 7/10 

A serving is 2, which makes me think "just make one non-mini foot" but I guess I'm not the target audience of a small child on Easter morning. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Hillandale Farms Jumbo Eggs

These are commissary eggs! I'm also a little confused about why my veg box gave me them, since they aren't the cage free badbois I purchased. Also, fully 6/12 eggs arrived cracked, so my foam-package opinion is negative(r). Ah well. Taste-wise, they were fine: typical egg. Very thick shells with an astringent smell (washed in chemicals or somethin?). Jumbo size. Healthy looking yolk. But I miss Sauder's! Come back, Sauder's! 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 

Munchies Snack Mix - Cheese Fix Flavored

Yeah, I've got the munchies. Munchies snack mix from my job that I absolutely pounced on because they don't treat me well and eating my weight in free snacks is what I deserve!!! Unfortunately it's a bit of a "stop hitting yourself" scenario because these are tragic. The ingredos are like War and Peace. Despite student claims to the contrary, the contents of Cheeto, Pretzel, and Cheddar Sun Chip taste just the same as the non-Munchies Mix versions. But the Doritos are tiny little triangles, which is more delicious (less Dorito)! All together it's a cute scene, so why do I scorn it so? Because I don't LIKE Doritos, Cheetos, or Cheddar Sun Chip. Also the pretzels are made of corn (weird). Also, Munchies is the FritoLay brand name used for their peanut butter (et al) cracker packs (scary). Otherwise, this is a fun nut free snack. 

Overall
Cost: FREE/10
Taste: 5/10 

Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn

It still comes in a black bag after all, the one I had before was just a "light" version! Wowow. Anyway, this is whatever. Never been my favorite - what's that cheese powder doing there? It's so messy and tastes a little sweet. But I can't deny that it's a snack I'm not allergic to. And at this point the packaging is almost nostalgic. So, OK. It's fine. A very "I am eating a processed food" experience, and to a brand I have no real loyalty to, which I guess is how other people feel when they encounter Dunkin, Haribo, and Pepperidge Farm (:o).

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Two-Bite Churro Dulce De Leche Cupcakes

Strike's over... back to work... on some cupcakes!! You know what they say -- the best way to get over an allergy fear is to get under some cupcakes. Etc etc. Anyway, these are fun and look like animal's eyes (frosting-wise). They also contain graham flour, which if it's a typo for gram flour will be my downfall. But I think I remember saying that about another flavor, so probs not. (Also you'd think an allergy company would be careful about such things, but ah, I lived long enough to know it isn't so). 

Anyway, where were we. The dark brown blorp is a caramel goo - not frosting! - but very sweet. Like a chocolate bar inside caramel. Fine, fine. The frosting is just typical mini cupcake frosting, maybe mildly cream cheese and/or cinnamon flavored. And the cake is just regular vanilla cake! Oh, frabjous day! I thought it'd be filled for sure, and that would have been major overkill. Kind of like the concept of "churro dulce de leche cupcake". Did they just pick two Hispanic treats? Whither flan?  

There are some crumbley lookin blorps on top, evoking I suppose churro, but they are indistinguishable from the general frosted scene. 

This isn't terrible, but it actually is. The plain ones are much better. The only redeeming factor is: I'm not allergic to it. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

O Organics Rosemary

Now that all my herb plants are gonezo, I buy this when I make a nice little creamy garlic rosemary chicken dish. It tastes nice and classy, but I've noticed that whenever I make it, I get itchy and hivey and my gums sting. You'd think an allergy blog owner might recognize this to be an allergy, but the ingredients are all things I've had many times before (rosemary included) so I disregarded. But now....I think I'm allergic to (this?) (fresh?) rosemary. It's a cruel cruel world. Anyway, this tastes so good that I bought it many times in spite of a negative physical reaction to it, so that's something. You get about 4 long tufts, and they hold up pretty well in the fridge. I probably won't buy this anymore though. Sigh!!!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

utz Mike's Hot Honey chips

Sometimes I forget utz makes chips, what with all their pretzels! Anyway, these are interesting. Mike's Hot Honey was pretty trendy for a while there, but the only time I had it was at Mod Pizza, where I did enjoy it. As a chip flavor I'm not really sold. The sweet + hot combo reminds me a little of a BBQ chip, but the honey really is present, and so is the basic salty potato chip flavor, and so is a pretty hot heat (if you eat a bunch). Those elements are all good on their own (well, maybe minus the chip), but I am not a big sweet + savory fan and this is a bit too sweet for me. It's not boring or terrible though, two common chip sins.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4$ish]
Taste: 6/10