Hellman's Light Mayonnaise

Well, it's no Miracle Whip, but I do like the squeezy bottle. I thought this was perfectly serviceable on a sandwich if you want to add some generic moisture. Works for sweet bologna, anyway.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Light Miracle Whip

This Whip is a light miracle. Honestly, mayo is so gross compared to Miracle Whip, and I don't understand the haters. The only valid complaint about miracle whip is that it's really bad for you. Probably like 100cals per tablespoon. So, in comes this bad boy, at 20cals per spoon. Is it a little bit less delicious? Yes. But is it infinitely better than mayo and perfect for mixing, salads, and sandwiches? You bet your sweet bippy!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

J.L. Kraft Garlic Aioli

The fact that Kraft gets initials when it wants to be fancy is very funny to me. I would like some J.L. Kraft Singles please. One J.L. Kraft Easy Mac to go please. Absurd!

I got this for a recipe. It's pretty niche in my diet, unfortunately, since I don't have any fries on hand (or like, bread). It tastes, basically, like mayo with a strong garlic flavor. Very strong garlic flavor! I'm sure there are places where this is good. Egg salad, as it happens, is not one of those places. I suspect a roast beef or turkey sandwich could do with it.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Miracle Whip

I know there's some Miracle Whip haters out there. Heck, I'm a mild mayo-hater myself. But I grew up with miracle whip (in moderation) and so I really like it where it goes. Here's where it goes: egg salad, deviled eggs, cold turkey sandwiches, sweet bologna sandwiches. I think that's about it. Maybe macaroni or potato salad, but I rarely make those things myself. Anyway, egg salad for me is just a scoop of miracle whip and 2 eggs, and it's great. What else could you want? Of course it's not super healthy, but it adds the perfect flavor to these limited foods. The little zest is so much better than just the tasteless oil blorp that is mayonnaise. I haven't gotten a turkey sub for takeout in a while, but when I do, if they have miracle whip available I like it so much more. For now, the at-home egg-salad has been a great treat for me, since I have tortillas and have gotten eggs in the mail. Praise be to the Miracle whip!

Overall

Cost: 6/10

Taste: 8/10

Sir Kensington's Chipotle Mayonnaise

Maybe Sir Kensington's just isn't for me! I made a turkey sandwich with this (and turkey is a mayo/miracle whip type sandwich in my book) but I immediately thought I would have rather had the sandwich dry. Not a ringing endorsement - though to be fair, I don't really like mayo that much, I'm a full on Miracle Whip girl. But this has got too much mayo in it and not enough other stuff. It IS spicy, a little bit, but it also tastes somehow warm even when refrigerated, and too -- eggy? Oily? Whatever makes mayo mayo, it's too that. Makes me feel like I'm about to suffer serious food poisoning. You know?! The bottle is cute and I like the color. I'm going to try this with maybe some egg salad or something else where the flavor might be more hidden, we'll see how it goes. Also this is very fatty, which is fine for mayo except what's the point when it tastes bad?

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 4/10