Signature Select Whole White Mushrooms

So, these were a little bit weird. They are bigger than the whole bella mushrooms, which is good because it's less work to clean & stuff them.  I think you get about 16 as opposed to 24 (which ended up being 14, since I lost 2 to molding). They're easier to see dirt on, which makes them harder to clean therefore. The taste was fine, but the texture was problematic, as they had a stretchy(?) membrane(?) on the top of each cap. What the hell is that?? Like eating a steak. Maybe I got a slightly old batch, but otherwise, back to bella we shall go.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Texture: 2/10 

Signature Select Whole Baby Bella Mushrooms

[Whole baby] bella mushrooms! And beautiful they are. Actually, I was worried they had gone off because they were a little slimy and a little brown/white mystery mold crust-y, but your girl was ready to take a gamble right before the whole state shuts down for a week+ due to weather. A gamble on stuffed mushrooms. I actually wanted way bigger mushrooms, and white-not-bella-which-is-also-white-but-not-really, but these turned out to work just fine. In 20oz ("family size"... a mockery) you get 26 mushrooms, which just about fills a baking sheet. Mostly the same size...ish. I like mushrooms even though they aren't a veg, protein, or a fiber. They just are. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Signature Select Sliced White Mushrooms

"Review the mushrooms," says the devil on my shoulder. "Nothing wrong with reviewing Store Brand Mushrooms!" Sure, sure. Why not. I actually learned this week that the difference between mushroom options (white/button vs brown/bella) is a very small age difference. Like, days. Like 3 days. What?! So my previous method of "ignore mushroom specification, just buy whatever's at the store" feels way more legitimate with this knowledge. I do miss the other, lovelier mushroom types, but Acme has what Acme has, and that's probably for the best, fermentation-wise.

These are good. Sliced already, though not washed of course (I don't think any fresh mushrooms come washed?) and I always worry about it more than maybe I should. These aren't particularly dirt-caked anyway, not like the local ones that are probably from Ireland or something (even though I live 20 min from the Mushroom Capital of the World). Relatedly, on certain humid mornings the air by me smells like mushroom farms, and everyone around here hates it, but I love it. It's so comforting, like the noise of a train or cuddling up in a warm blanket. Maybe if they grew up smelling roasted peanuts and horse manure like I did, they'd put some respect on Mushroom Farm Smell. Anyway, I got a little off track. Mushrooms taste nice, especially when cooked in nice things like shallot and garlic and meat and oil and pepper and etc. I haven't had pizza in decades (months? who knows) but mushrooms are also my favorite pizza topping. All hail mushroom. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

DeLallo Garlic Mushrooms

I was so nervous to eat these that I waited to visit my parents to try them! Even though the label is safe, the website doesn't say "peanut free", and that's spooky. But I like mushrooms so I wanted to at least try them. The good news is: I don't really like them. I had one and thought "yep, that's enough." They're mushrooms but in vinegar, like a pickle. I like mushroom but I don't like pickle. The texture is good, I guess, but yeah. Not for me. Hope I don't die!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 3/10