Marie Callender's Sides - Sweet Corn Casserole

I put off trying this for a very long time because the reviews are, no joke, the worst reviews I've ever seen for a food. They are almost universal 1/5. But I shouldn't be afraid of bad food, as long as I'm not allergic to it! Right?! So, I decided to make this in the oven to give it the best chance at success. It looked very wet while cooking, like creamy water. After the full cook time, it was slightly firmer but bright white still (not yellow or brown) so I thought I'd give it a few more minutes. It was still a little goopy then, but edible. Honestly, it was fine. Mushy grits with a few corn kernels and a light "mineral oil" vibe. The 900 calos and 160% sat fat is the real downside. The reviews were overblown, but it's still not worth the trouble, time, cost, or cals. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Small Apple Pie

So the Small Peach Pie was a disappointment, but mainly due to the filling. Therefore I thought maybe the Small Apple Pie will fare better. However, since I had a bad experience with the other one, I didn't want to wait 50+ minutes to be disappointed, so I made this one in the microwave. That's much faster (~10min) and the box doesn't even recommend one over the other, so I feel it was a valid choice. It's about 680 calos for the full pie, which is I think less than the peach was, so I thought I'd just eat the whole thing. Why not! It's the weekend!

This pie was maybe better than the peach one, but still not as good as a normal pie. The filling is too small of apple pieces, too goopy of thick goop. The crust is fine, so I don't think the microwave made a huge difference either way (maybe slightly less good), but the filling is just Too Fake. IDK what sort of small pie is ever going to have copious real full slices of apple, maybe it's impossible, but like...the mcdonald's apple pie is way better (and fewer calos!!), why can't they copy that a lil more?

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Sides - Cheddar Broccoli Casserole

This looks nice and simple -- brocco, cheese sauce, bacon bits. But nothing's ever simple when you have allergies (and/or when you're me, take your pick)!! I had a little bit of a psychosomatic (assuming the label is legit) reaction to this because bacon bits are so often Legume Protein, even though these are just meat. (I think it's legit because I got a pretty sizeable gross chewy meat piece in there too). It's not helped by the fact that this is very "soup"y. 

Now taste wise, I like soup! I like brocco! I like weird goopy cheese-sauce. I'm neutral on baco! So it was good and only 370calos, and it has a veg in, so those are good things. It also gave me a little bit of a stomacache though. But then again I did eat all 2.5 servings myself. Which, 2.5 servings is an annoying number. Just make it 3, guys! Anyway. I made it in the oven, which took 50+ minutes, and it was fine but I suspect the microwave would be very similar. I just wanted to give it the best chance to shine. And it was: fine.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 (7$!)
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Small Peach Pie

Marie Callender's pies are usually decent and supposedly safe (even though they make PB pies!!) so even though I've had a rough week allergy wise, I'm going for this mini peach pie. Even though it is single serve, it is 780 cals, so perhaps it is double serve. I decided to make it in the oven to optimize the pie experience, but it does take 45 minutes. It smelled good and I think cooked up well. Unfortunately it didn't quite hit the pie spot for me. The crust is good as always, flaky and buttery. But the filling is weirdly goopy and the peaches are small pieces rather than full slices. It does taste processed. I don't dislike it or anything, but if this is actually what peach pie tastes like (and I don't think it is!) then peach pie kinda stinks.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Steak & Ale Pie

Bake in oven, it says. What they don't proclaim so proudly is that the "bake in oven" is for 70+ minutes!!!! That's an awful long time to wait for a little, calorie dense crust bomb. I will say, the crust is very good. Flaky and tastes like cream, just like a real pie. The inner meat was a little weird and chewy, although soy-free. Hardly any other veg in there. Although it tastes decent, for 70 min and 800 cals you might as well eat a slice of fruit pie and make a sandwich. I mean, what are we doing here.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Marie Callender's Pumpkin Pie

My parents had this pie for a holiday meal at their place, and although I was nervous about allergens (they make a peanut pie!! eek!!) the packaging read safe and so I consumed the pie. And my review was: 'really good!'. Nicely said, past-me. I do love pie.

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 8/10

Marie Callender's Beef Pot Roast

I ate this for lunch at my parents' house because selections were limited. The plus side is that this has no soy or peas in it, so nothing to worry about allergy-wise. The taste was very average though, it mostly tasted like carrot and weird wine sauce. Not great but at least not actively bad. Also like 200 calories total, which is a mixed blessing because it wasn't very filling either, but better than nothing.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Italiano Lasagna

Huh. OK, so, unlike many frozen sausage bits, this meal contains 0 soy. Which means it didn't make me itchy at all! But the sausage ball bits still tasted fake to me, so I feel really confused. It was safe yet still not great. But not bad! I bought this on sale and I'd do it again; the noodles are fine and the mozz on top is good. The sauce I don't recall, and the ricotta was actively not good, but overall it was "eh".  Better than the PF Changs meal I just saw that had oyster sauce in it but only labelled "milk, soy" as allergens....




Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Beef Shepherd's Pie

I can't find this anywhere! I randomly got it somewhere in PA but I haven't seen it since. Which really stinks, because this was good! It's only 300 cals, is tasty, didn't make me itchy, and was nice and warm and good. The only downside is that it takes a while to cook and also I can't find it anywhere.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Tate: 8/10

Marie Callender's Lattice Apple Pie

I'm a big fan of apple pie, and my last attempt to have it was on a cruise in October where I was sadly disappointed. So this Christmastime nut-free pie was a godsend! Sure, I got sick (flu sick) after eating a bunch of it, and it isn't good for you, but it really was tasty. The top is sugary, but not JUST sugar crumbles like the Dutch Apple Pie, instead it's an actual crust. Nothing weird or standout about this pie, just solid sweet apple filling and normal bready crust. Yum.




Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 8/10

Marie Callender's Spaghetti with Meat Sauce

I love pasta so it's hard for even a terrible pasta to be bad (you know, like most people say about pizza)! This was decent, then. It had firm noodles and was a little bit cheesy somehow. I like that it comes with bread; it's good garlicy buttery bread. I don't love the meat bits in the sauce (they're sausagey/itchy) but it is a filling and hearty meal.




Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Steak & Roasted Potatoes

Surprisingly decent/comforting, although there was a slightly disconcerting amount of butter onion goo included with those green beanos. The onion crispies were also not at all crispy (perils of the microwave meal, I suppose). Overall this tasted good and was warm, although it's never something that I'll crave (most likely). But it was solid, it was fine. No objections.




Overall
Cost: 7/10 (On sale for 2.50)
Taste: 7/10

Marie Callender's Creamy Parmesan Chicken Pot Pie

So, this had a very nice taste, creamy pot-pie flavor and all. But it also made me feel itchy and weird, even though there's no peas inside. Plus, it's like 1000 calories. So the taste isn't worth the trouble.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Chicken Corn Chowder Pot Pie

You thought I was done with MC frozen meals, but surprise! There was one more hiding in the back! As with the rest of these 16oz pot pies, it's randomly over 1000 calories, even though cals = 460 and servings per box = 2. So dumb. But disregarding the absurd in more than one way calorie info, this pie was nice. I think I actually liked it better than all the other MC pot pies, even though I saved it for secret last because I thought it would be the worst. It contains only chicken, very pale white corn, possibly a few potato chunks, and sauce with occasional bacon crumbles in it. And lots of crust. The chicken was nice and didn't make me itch, the corn was nice, the sauce was nice although I didn't love the bacon, and I was sad there was no celery but I think it would have made the texture weird and inconsistent, so maybe I'm not sad at all. This is obviously very filling, and although I think it could do with less crust, it tasted good, solid, creamy, and warm. Not sure why the cream sauce was better than the chicken/beef sauce, but it was!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Marie Callender's Herb Roasted Chicken

Luckily, I think we're about out of our Marie Callender's funk. Yes, it's true that I am working 2 jobs and have a tenant (not a roommate! a tenant!) and am TRYING to continue my unrelated research program, and it's all a bit much, and I'm losing it more every day, but these terrible frozen meals are making things worse instead of better!!! Time for some real food!!!!!

Anyway, we had to eat this because we bought it. Expectedly, it was not great. The corn was so tasteless, which I guess means at least it didn't have any added butter or salt, but like, it could have used a lil bit. The potatoes were fine I guess, nothing to write home about, no real flavor but the texture was good. The chicken was real chicken, so that's nice, and there's bones in it and everything. But the smell made me queasy. It has that dark, bloody, meaty smell that you sometimes get with dark meat or bones of meat and I was really not a fan. The smell lingered all day long and made me want to vom. But the skin was tasty and all things considered, it's decent frozen meal meat.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Marie Callender's Country Fried Chicken Breast Tenders

I'm glad you're all here to witness my slow descent into diabetes and depression via frozen meal. Really.

Anyway, this bad boy looks good on the cover, but the chicken is not at all an Arby's style chicken tender. It's more of a flat patty/nugget with soft breading on the outside. It does taste good though. The mac and cheese is also solid, and the noodles are fun thick spiral shapes. This is a good tasting meal, it just isn't good for you. Also a pretty quick to prepare meal, only like 5-6 min.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 (2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Beef Pot Pie

We'll be getting off the frozen meal train again soon, when my roommate finally moves out in 3 months. (Is that soon??????). But for now, a pot pie. Well, I like pot pies, but listen, this one is super misleading. It looks like a personal pot pie, but it is actually 2 servings. OK, classic packaging game, no problem. But listen. Listen. Each serving is 400 calories. There are 2 servings listed. But on the package, in small letters, it says "entire pie is 920 calories". OK, so....400 x 2 = 800. What's going on here? If you eat the whole thing yourself, the shame adds 120 calories? Bad news for me, I guess. Absurd calorie count aside, this tasted OK. I mean, it was good, the crust is buttery, the beef is a little chewy but fine, the carrots and onions were fine, and there were no celery pieces to be found. To be honest, the picture is very misleading, because even based on the ingredos there's like no veg in here -- it's all crust with a little beef and gravy. There are also a few potato chunks, but they have the weirdest taste of any component, kind of chemicaly/rottom/bitter tasting, so I'm grateful there were only a few bits. I could also do without the onion pieces. If potato and onion could change to carrot and celery, that'd be an upgrade.

The cooking worked out well, it takes about 9.5 minutes but everything was cooked through without being burnt or cold. The box makes a convenient holder. It's also super filling. I'd prefer chicken, but there's no peas in this one, so we do what we can.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (on sale for 2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Sweet & Sour Chicken

This really has no right to be 500+ calories, because it's not especially big! Sheesh!

This is certainly better than the Tai Pei Sweet and Sour Chicken, but not as good as Innovasian or any non-frozen attempt. I like that it comes with pineapple and rice and there isn't way too much sauce (in fact, there's maybe a tiny bit not enough!). The carrot/pepper/onion bits in it aren't good, but they aren't objectionable like they are in some cases. Overall the chicken pieces are good and the sauce is good, so it's a decent meal. The "veg" side of 6 carrots and 2 small broccos is totally flavorless and doesn't really go with the meal, so I'm not sure what it's doing there, but I guess I'm glad to be consuming free veg. It's OK if it's on sale and you're very hungry.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Fettuccini with Chicken & Broccoli

Sure, everybody loves chicken broccoli alfredo, a dish it's hard to ruin. But for 500 cals, this better be good. And it didn't quite live up to my hopes. The noodles were very soggy and there wasn't enough broccoli. A good amount of chicken and noodle though. Plenty of sauce. The sauce was more creamy/milky than cheesy (which I guess the name doesn't actually mention cheese, but I want some cheese, man!), and it definitely tasted artificial/like a frozen meal. This was fine, and sadly one of the better Marie Callender's meals I've had, but it's far from the best frozen alfredos I've had. Would only get in a sale/desperation situation.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (on sale for 2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Roasted Turkey Breast & Stuffing

Another shameful frozen meal night for this girl! Luckily, there were only 290 calories in here (although the website version says 320 -- did I buy an old package?), so I don't feel too guilty. It was also surprisingly filling for such a low calorie count; nice work MC. On the downside, this meal made me a little itchy like it had secret soy protein in it -- maybe in the meat or gravy? Not sure what set it off but it was real. Ignoring that, the taste was OK but not amazing. There was hardly any stuffing, but the stuffing was good, and the veggies I just mixed in with everything else, and the gravy made them good. The potatoes were warm and nice and milky. The turkey was not great, because it was itchy making and also there wasn't enough of it! Ha, ha, classic me. But really though.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (2.50 on sale)
Taste: 6/10