Eggo Minis - French Toast - Cinnamon

I'm still chasing that French Toast dream! These are new, but they ain't it either. However, they are cute little toasts; 8 per serving. They're also wrapped in single-serve pouches like Pop-Tarts, which I have never seen in a French Toast product and which is a bad sign for Earth. But admittedly was good for preventing freezer burn. They mostly tasted like a pancake. Nothing French Toasty there except the shape, and the cinnamon is also extremely subtle. But it didn't scream waffle as much as the French Toaster sticks, I guess. Happy that our cute little French girl toast mascot returns (with ribbons instead of hat!), in addition to the little French cinnaman. There are even more french eggo mascots to gender on the back of the box, so I had a good time with these even though the taste was uninspiring. I'm also off antihistamines for a week due to my upcoming allergy testing, and I'm an itchy, weepy, chest-painy mess therefore, so if I hate everything I ate this week perhaps take it with a French grain of salt. 

Oh! I toasted them. 1 cycle. Seemed right. But then I saw that microwave (IN THE PLASTIC) is supposedly the recommend way to cook 'em, so I'll try that next, since that is indeed the way to make Frozen French toast. I'm already 50% microplastics like the rest of my generation, so I'm sure it's fine. If it tastes any better I'll return with the good news.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Eggo French Toaster Sticks - Cinnamon

Boy, do I have some complaints! I went to the store looking for some frozen French Toast, and come to discover, there is none anymore. What!? So apparently the renamed Pearl Milling Company had a recall about 6 years ago and never resumed making french toast after that. They were my go-to! My childhood toast! And there weren't any store brand options or Eggo options, either. The next best thing, I guessed, would be french toast sticks, but they didn't have Murray's, just these Eggo french toastER sticks. I had assumed the -ER was for, like, copyright or something, but now I'm thinking it's because these aren't french toast at all, just batter in bread form that you put in your toast-er. No egginess, fluffiness, no nothin'. They taste exactly like a nookless Eggo waffle, which makes sense, but I yearned for French Toast and not waffle!! (Also, the appeal of a waffle is surely the nooks.) These are also marketed as Eggo For Kids®, which (a) haha @ me, but also, (b) is sensible because all my whiny "i hate any flavor or texture" adult kid friends would probably eat these. I guess it's good there is a breakfast equivalent of dinosaur chicken nuggets, and they are nut-free and have a cute lady toast mascot, so it's not bad, it's just I'm baffled by the total and sudden disappearance of what I considered one of the big 3 frozen breakfast bread products. Now the freezer is full of Jimmy Deans and Protein Mini Waffles. The 1900s are over for real, I guess.  

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Crisis of lost youth: 9/10 

Pillsbury Raspberry Toaster Strudel

The horrors persist, but so does toaster strudel! I can't believe I haven't reviewed a single flavor yet. They are wildly inconvenient compared to a pop-tart -- you have to toast them, usually twice, the icing packet is so hard to open without tearing, it's very sticky, and sometimes burnt. But they also taste way better! It's a pastry! (A strudel, I'm not so sure). The taste hasn't changed a bit since I was a kid, and the frosting and pastry are really good. The filling here isn't my favorite flavor (I guess I like apple best? We'll find out, maybe) but it's serviceable. Sticky though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Jimmy Dean Fully Cooked Turkey Sausage Links

Yep, these taste like a breakfast sausage all right! OK in small doses, but gets a little much after 3 links. Bafflingly, though a serving is 3, they come in packs of 6. I don't like this annoying packaging. But, they are super easy to cook, and soy free. So I don't hate them. I got these to maybe put on a pizza and I'm glad I didn't because breakfast sausage is not the same as sausage sausage. Nevertheless, for breakfast sausage, no serious complaints.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Eggo Chocolatey Chip Banana Waffles

These are great! I didn't have any syrup but it was actually fine. These are like little banana breads shaped like waffles. Very sweet, good banana flavor, little bits of choco. I like banana flavor as it turns out. I'm not sure if these would even go with syrup as a more traditional waffle, I ate them like hand snacks, but I'll give it a try later! One toasting cycle was fine for these.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 8/10

Quaker Instant Oatmeal - Fruit Fusion Raspberry Strawberry

I work at a Quaker school, so I ought to have positive vibes towards this oatmeal. I don't really, though, because they make nutty stuff and their website says they will label but I don't know if I believe them! I guess I believe them enough. This is a tasty flavor, in any case, although I forgot which is the good way to make these -- add hot water or heat water and oatmeal together? After adding hot water, I can now confirm that that is not the way to do it. Gotta microwave, else the texture will be way off. That said, the berry vibes still came through, and I like that. The hot pink color is a little disconcerting, but it's good for Barbie week anyway.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Krave Double Chocolate Brownie Batter Cereal

I sure am having a lot of cereal these days! Not great for my stomach, but I like to think I'm building my lactose tolerance a little more every day. Anyway, I usually dislike chocolate flavored things, but this was a little different than the usual cocoa puff fare. First of all, the texture is surprisingly oaty/baskety! I wasn't expecting it. The taste is a little bit brownie-ish (burnt, scary nut vibe), which I think I do prefer to the usual chocolate flavor. Kind of neat. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Kellogg's Corn Flakes - Honey Flavor

These are basically like less good Frosted Flakes -- even though it says "natural flavor", the honey in this isn't actually honey (or they'd say so!) and it reminds me very much of fake K-Cup coffee flavoring, which I dislike. The smell has a strong artificial "maple" vibe; the taste is less extreme, but I still get that vibe a little bit. The texture is fine, and on the whole this is just a pretty boring cereal. Sweet maple flakes: eh.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Jimmy Dean Delights Turkey Sausage Breakfast Bowl

I guess "Delights" is the "better for you" line?? Hard to tell with the fat and sodium in here, but it's got egg WHITES and TURKEY sausage, so there you have it. The egg whites especially look tragic in here, like little gelatin strips. It tastes pretty good though. I like sausage when I can get it, and I'm assuming this is indeed legume-free since I didn't perish! Nice.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Eggo Blueberry Waffles

They're a classic for a reason! I like the little stick 'n seal strip they include - talk about innovation in waffle tech. Two toaster cycles works well for these, and they're a solid, tasty brekkie. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Mrs. Butterworth's Cinnabon Bakery Inspired Flavored Syrup

I must say, this smells good. And tastes good too! Obviously it's a total sugar bomb, but it really does taste like a cinnamon bun (presumably also a cinnabon, though I've never had one) -- sweet and cinnamon and icing. I wasn't sure it would work with my blueberry waffles, but it did! Like a fancy resto brekkie.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowl: Steak and Eggs

Weirdly, I preferred this to the sausage bowl, I guess because the meat was less fatty and this impacted all of the components. I did still get a little itchy feeling, I guess because of the fat and salt?, but it was a pretty decent breakfast bowl.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowl: Sausage

Ah, Jimmy Dean breakfast stuff always makes me feel like I'm at a hotel. And though I do like hotels, and the fact that this has none of my allergens, it still made me feel kinda itchy and gross. I guess fatty low-quality meat will do that to ya. It's fine if you have a yearning for crappy buffet breakfast, but there's nothing particularly tasty, healthy, or special here.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Sausage Toaster Scrambles

Oh boy. I bought this because they were on sale, but it's no wonder why they were: they are not good. In their defense, mine were about a week past expiry, but since they're frozen I figure it shouldn't have a big impact. Especially since the biggest flaw is that these are essentially just sweet pastry dough with like .0001mm of cheese-goo and maybe a tiny sausage orb. Certainly no egg to speak of. Also, it was cold inside, so do 2 toaster cycles on at least medium heat. Very weird. I do hate sweet/savory mixing, though, so if you don't mind toaster strudel mixing with your "sausage", maybe you won't hate these.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Annie's Organic Confetti Pancake & Waffle Mix

These are cute, I can't deny that. I've only tried 'em as pancake so far, and I never really LOVED homemade pancakes, but they're OK. It makes about 8 pancakes (even though it says 12), and they came out fine, and the little sprinkles are cute and don't change the flavor much. Goes with syrup, a little bit boring plain. Very filling - I couldn't eat all 8 in one serving, maybe 2 servings would work. Quick to make and a fun change of pace; I'm curious to try the waffle form next.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Just Crack an Egg - Southwest Style Scramble Kit

Aw, it'd been a while since I had one of these! This is a new flavor to me, but really, they're all pretty similar. As always, it was filling and easy. This one did have weirdly chewy meat bits, though. The taste was definitely "breakfast burrito filling", which I liked, but the texture was pretty weird. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Frosted Cheerios

Hey, these were pretty good! Much better than normal Cheerios, which I never much liked (although the older I get, the better they are). These basically taste like Alpha-Bits cereal, without the marshmallows, and that was one of my most favorite cereals. I only bought the General Mills variety pack because Kellogg's was having strike action, but I think I actually prefer it. Good job, Cheerios.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats Cereal

This cereal definitely reminds me of my mom, who used to like these (maybe still does?). It used to be in a red box! Back then, I didn't like 'em, but to be honest they're not bad. A little bit of that basketty texture, but generally sweet and 'cereal' tasting, in the classic sense. Filling, too.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Nutri Grain Bar - Blueberry

Yet more Ohio hotel brekkies. In truth, this made me a bit itchy?? But I was very hungry when I ate it, and so that's probably why it tasted better than the apple one. Ha ha.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Cheerios

Gosh, who knew I tried so many hotel snacks on this Ohio trip. Cheerios are a real last-choice item for me, but you know, they weren't as bad as I thought they'd be. They had a little sweetness to them (or maybe that's the milk?) which made them a nice change of pace from the Cinnamon Toast Crunch sugar spree.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10