Skittles Gummies - Fuego

I'm really playing with fuego trying these, because eating spicy food gives very similar physical reactions to eating food you're allergic to (see also a bunch of confused adults realising that bananas et al aren't "spicy" for everyone). Also there's a mango flavor and I'm allergic to mango now (maybe not even as an OAS thing, just as a straight up thing, alas). BUT it's SKITTLES, surely I am not allergic to them (and the mango is just "natural flavors", hardly protein level content). The thing is, these aren't actually skittles or candy, they're freakin' gummies. That's way less delicious. Nevertheless, they are a sensory banquet. The chili powder coating is like a sugar coating in texture (fun), but it does have a nice heat to it (although nothing crazy or leaving you gasping for a drink or anything), especially if you eat a bunch in a row. The flavors are distinct. The gummy texture is kinda firm and not my favorite (I'd much rather a regular skittle), but it's not horrible. 

Mango: Scary but fine. Due to scary, not my favorite flavor anymore, but it does taste like a mango does. Also tastes a bit like a peach gummy, which are meh on their own merits. 5/10

Watermelon: Tasted a little like a bathroom (I do buy watermelon hand soap sometimes, alas), but decent. Classic flavor, and goes well with the chili powder. 6/10

Raspberry: Ew, what happened here? Tastes like a bathroom in a worse way. There's raspberry underneath, but weird toilet spray atop. Maybe this bag was stored next to soap. Alas. 4/10 

Lemon: This is the the best flavor. Lemon candy is always great. Like a spicy chuckle. God bless. 7/10

Strawberry: Nice, kinda like strawberry cream saver. Good bright sweet flavor. 7/10

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3$]
Taste: 6/10 

Haribo - Harry Potter

God, sometimes I get so sad about how all the things I used to love are ruined by people being terrible. Of course the difference is there aren't R.Kelly and Pinker gummies being sent to me free in the mail (although that'd also be terrible). Anyway, as always I didn't buy this for myself and resent that it exists and wrote a negative review on the actual product site. But you get the real truth of it... in hopes that they rebrand as Scary Dotter gummies or something. Mm. For once they tell you the serving size in gummies: 6. Blessedly, these have a super weird rancid sweet flavor about half the time, so I don't yearn for a Dotter rebrand. They can just ef right off. The Ron and Hermione versions are essentially the same as Harry's, except the little red face is a different face and the animal is alternatively an owl, a rat, or a cat. After eating a lot of these, I determined that there's two 50/50 shots (both independent): having a white bottom and being weirdly gross tasting. So each shape is the same color but comes in four varieties, my favorite being white bottom x not gross and my least favorite being no white bottom x gross. Lol. 

Golden Snitch: Actually a Yellow Snitch; it's lemon sorbet flavor. This is worse than lemon flavor haribo (or maybe just the bad IP vibes sinking in?); it tastes a little rancid and rotten. I'm not getting lemon OR sorbet! Ick! (yay that ick)! 2/10

Blue Lightning Bolt: Cotton Candy flavor -- this also tastes weirdly rotten and bad. Hooray! Slightly more berry flavored than the snitch, but mostly not good. 5/10 

Yellow Letter: More lemon sorbet (bad) with a white bottom (doesn't cancel out the bad)! 3/10

Clear Owl/Rat: Hedwig? It's caramel, which tastes just like lemon sorbet (bad). Scabbers is the same, and Crookshanks too. They all have evil looking eyes, which is confusing. New Haribo canon? 3

Clear Mug 'o (Butter)beer: Caramel with foam bottom, but 50% of them were somehow not gross like the owl. IDK man. 6/10

Brown Hat: Cola with and without foam bottom. Now we're talking. 7/10

Green Potted Plant: apple, tastes good but what plant does Harry have!? Is my HP knowledge atrophied? (Probably for the best, but shocking) 8/10

Green 9 3/4 sign: with foam bottom; ALSO tastes weird as hell. what is happening?!?!?! 3/10 

Red Lumpy Circle: I guess this is supposed to be Harry et al's head? It's cherry, and tastes pretty good (or sometimes gross). Looks like a football most of the time.

Overall
Cost: 8/10
Taste: 5/10
Missing Out Factor: 2/10 :D