Life Savers Swirled Lollipops

Surely X will fix me... today, x=candy. I got these because the picture kind of looked like Cream Savers on a stick, which are a great nostalgia item. However, the white swirl is not at all cream, it's some sort of vanilla flavor (or really, neutral flavor). These aren't even made by Life Savers, actually, they're contracted out to Spanglers, who make some allergy friendly things (like Dum Dums) but also some dangerous ones (like Neccos and Bit-O-Honey). The bag reads as safe, though. 

Orange & Vanilla:  I guess the flavor is pretty true to form. Tastes like orange soda mixed with a little cream soda, but as a lollipop. It's fine, big and flat, but it didn't fix me. 6/10

Blueberry & Vanilla:  This one might be fixing me. It's better, like a nice blueberry flavored dessert (a Dunkin' Blueberry even). Kind of weird notes for a lollipop. But I like it. 7/10

Strawberry & Vanilla:  Ehh. Not fixing me. The worst flavor, I think, although it is fine. Tastes like a low-quality strawberry candy (which, lo and behold, it is!). 6/10

Cherry & Vanilla:  Maybe a fixer. I always like cherry lollipops. Nice bright flavor. Also some weird notes. This vanilla part really isn't adding much. Ah well. Easter, what can you do, right? 7/10

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (I don't actually remember, which means it was probably cheap)
Taste: 6/10

Starburst Pops - Green Apple

You know, it makes sense. They put a tootsie pop in a lollipop, they put a bubble gum (ill-advisedly) in a lollipop, why not put a starburst in a lollipop? There are so many other possibilities now that I think of it. Truffle-ization of lollipop. Anyway, these are actually made by Spangler, which is an interesting little company -- they make Dum Dums (top-8 free!) but also Neccos and Bit-O-Honeys (not nut-free at all). I guess the Starburst factory isn't set up to lolly pop. 

The pop bit is good. Very bright green apple, tastes like a jolly rancher but sweeter and in a better shape (circle). There isn't an apple starburst, is there?? This is just a weird product, especially because it's a Halloween edition (bats on the packaging and all). Is green apple Halloweeny? Is it Starbursty? No and no! But it's a good flavor and fairly unique in the lolly landscape. The inside starburst bit was like, 1 millimeter around. Perhaps it melted due to all the peripheral sucking. It also had the texture of a now and later (FIRM) and not a starburst. Basically, nothing about this product is Starburst-related except the packaging. But it tastes good and is much better than a blow-pop. Probably on par with a tootsie pop, but more fun due to the novelty. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Charms Blow Pop - Spooktacular Flavors

In honor of Dunkin Pumpkinning today, behold, some halloween candy. These are smaller than your typical blow pop, which is probably for the best, although it means a greater gum-to-pop ratio, so maybe not. Anyway, they're nut free, but packed with artificial flavors/colors. I always hated the bottom wrapping, but I do admit it keeps things neater than a top-only wrap. The problem with a blow pop is it ends in a small, boring piece of gum, which isn't anything I want to blow. Or pop. I'm so used to tootsie pops that I'm sure one of these days I'm gonna accidentally swallow it. Hazards of the trade, I guess.

Extreme Lemonade: Hells yeah, two super lemonade flavored sweets in a row (after yesterday's fruit-by-the-foot). Tastes exactly the same, some very strong sweet & sour lemon cleaning flavor. I love it. The color of this (puce with pink shining through) is not super appealing, but I suppose it's spooky. 7/10

Blue Razzberry:  Happy to report this is a normal blue hard candy color. Tastes just like a blue raspberry dum-dum(&etc), which is to say, pretty good. A little bit of tart complexity beyond pure sweetness (that must be the razz of it all). I don't really get the spooky tie-in to these flavors, but that's OK. 7/10

Black Cherry: No cute name effectz for this one? Ah well. Usually I don't like cherry flavored things (because they lean medicinal), but this tastes just like a cherry icee. Not that I LOVE a Cherry Icee, but it is a rare happy treat (associated with The Movies, which I haven't been to in 5+ years now). Sweet, artificial, and red (even though the lolly is dark colored, purply maybe). Also quite similar to the Cherry Tootsie pop, for that matter. But a bit less sweet! 7/10

WhataMelon: This is probably the least compelling flavor, because it's just... watermelon. Tastes a little like I am in middle school and on summer vacation, although I'm not sure what's pinging that association. Vending machine candy, maybe? Those little sweet juice jugs? There's a slight sourness to this that keeps it interesting, and it if were a different type of -pop than blow, it'd be solidly Good. Not ever my top flavor, but good among watermelon! 6/10

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [6$]
Taste: 7/10 

Dum-Dums

Dum-Dums are the rice of lollipops -- they are good if you want to eat a lot of something. Also, they have no allergens and are very tiny, so they are good for school (and for me to eat the leftovers in my sad office hours when inevitably studos don't really want Dum Dums). They are also a funny name! And there's a high number of flavors! What's not to like? Well, OK, some of the flavors are bad. And they're very small. And the sticks are kinda gross sometimes because they're made out of paper. And they aren't wrapped super well so sometimes you find yourself just touching sugar accidentally. But hey, the negatives are outweighed by the positives, in my opinion. Here's my to-be-added-to flavor ranking:

1. Cream soda: Very good, and there's no other cream soda candy out there to compete. Much better than the soda itself, creamy and light citrus, plus that soda-flavor bitterness. I think I love all soda flavored candies really. 8/10
2. Butterscotch: This is almost an exact dupe of the yellow-wrapped butterscotch hard candies, which is nostalgically miss (all may-contains now). Lovely. 7/10
3. Lemon-lime: Not only is this an S-tier flavor, but the wrapper gives me 60s nostalgia (inherited from my dad). Magilla Gorilla, anyone? Tastes like very mild limey lemon. 7/10
4. Sour apple: This has a nice, bright, sour apple taste, like the tootsie pop candy apple. Not too sweet, with a pleasant tartness (thus the name I guess). 7/10
5. Blue raspberry: This is a classic dum-dum flavor; it tastes very blue. Has a subtle sourness which elevates it beyond generic blue candy. 7/10
6. Root beer: Told you I like the soda flavor candies! Even though I don't like root beer (the drink) much at all. These are not quite as fun as the root beer barrels of my youth, but they are still fun in evoking them. 7/10
7. Orange: There aren't really a lot of orange-flavored candies apart from these and Tootsie Pop, right? I guess because it's not very exciting (and a little bit medicinal, but in a candy-ish cough drop way). Still, I like oranges, and now that I can't eat them I will settle for this orange-flavored lolly. 6/10
8. Pineapple: This is a unique flavor for hard candy! A cute yellow color, and an accurate taste (although a little canned pineapple-ish because it's so sweet). 6/10
9. Bubble gum: Who wants a lollipop that tastes like bubble gum? But the flavor is accurate. The bubble gum jelly bean is superior, though. 6/10
10. Mystery: Gotta be in the middle, because the mystery really could be any flavor. Sometimes it's grape, which is horrible and medicinal, but sometimes it's root beer or butterscotch, which are tasty. 6/10
11. Cotton candy: Extremely mid. Sugary. Aren't they all? 6/10
12. Fruit punch: A funny little flavor. It tastes just like Hawaiian Punch, i.e. an artificial "red" drink flavor. Not my favorite, but pretty unique among lollies and I guess nostalgic for the 90s, when such punches were trendy. 6/10
13. Cherry: Tastes like medicine, but at least it's red. And a lollipop and not medicine. 5/10
14. Strawberry: Pretty bad; doesn't taste like medicine but instead tastes a little bit like it got contaminated by soap or something, even though it didn't. Missing something that those cute strawberry-wrapped hard candies have, alas. 5/10
15. Grape: Tough call between this and strawberry for worst flavor, but I think grape takes it. Strong concord flavor, like grape juice, which I hate. Also tastes like medicine, which I hate. Tastes like how it's meant to, though, I think. 4/10
?. Peach mango: I didn't eat this one (mango allergy fear), so I have no rating. Bet it's good!

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 7/10

Ring Pop

Ring Pop, like Push Pop, is a strange novelty lollipop that makes it awkward to eat but is nut free and fun in moderation.Unfortunately I didn't love this particular flavor ("purpleberry punch") -- it tasted basically like a grape fruit strip, which is OK but not really candy-worthy. I think if it were a different flavor, I'd like it, though -- I like the sweetness/"texture"(if that makes sense) of the pop. And nut free candy is always good. It did stain my tongue and lip intensely porple!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Original Gourmet Lollipops

Original Gourmet Lollopops sound either super fancy or super janky. Luckily I think they're more fancy than janky, even though they're pretty cheap. Most importantly, they're nut free (just may contain coconut). They're also really big and pretty to look at, so I'm a fan overall. The size is actually a little much, so you're not about to have more than one lolly a day, but I like that there are so many (safe) flavors!

Blue Raspberry: Sadly this one didn't live up to my expectation, it was less flavorful than I thought it should be. Just kind of a mild, moist sweet orb. Pretty blue though, but missing that classic BR sweetness. 6/10 

Wild Cherry: Damn, I don't love the flavor of this one either. It's got that instant cherry medicine flavor, which I hate. After a while you get used to it, but I wish it tasted like something else. Luckily it is kind of weak so it's not too terrible. 5/10

Overall
Cost: 6/10 (about 55 cents each in bulk)

Taste: 7/10

Chupa Chups Mini Lollipops

I remember having the whistle versions of these as a kid! Chupa Chups seem like such a cool, trendy, mysterious candy to me, I guess because of the Spanish origin and Dalí connection. Also, just like Mentos (owned by the same Dutch multinational corp) they are made in so many countries and forms that it's really hard to get reliable allergy info for them. I guess the same is true of like, Kit Kat and Mars bars, I just have more knowledge about those brands. Anyway, I am fairly sure that the American minis are nut free, or at least that's what Amazon claims. But is the one I have American? I don't know!! But it's a dang lollipop, so I ate it. These are pretty normal lollies; they have a hollow stick which I like but a difficult to remove without tearing it so you definitely can't read it wrapper, which I don't like. I prefer Dum Dums because they are transparent about their origins, but if I didn't have allergies these would be a fine pick.

Strawberry: Never a favorite flavor for me, but this tastes basically identical to the YumEarth lolly of the same flavor. Strong strawberry vibe, maybe a little too sweet for my liking, cute pink color. 6/10

 

Cherry: Usually a favorite flavor for me, but this version was a little weird. Maybe it picked up some flavors from a nearby soap or something. Tasted almost medicinal, but not enough to bother me, but not as good as other cherry lollies either. 6/10

Strawberries and Cream: Unique flavor, looks like it's literally half + half the strawberry lolly swirled with a nebulous "cream" half. I think I like it. The cream part is kind of like the cream soda dum dum, almost a little sourness or saltiness to it, or some sort of "bite" that pairs well with the strawberry. Like the tang of the basic frozen yogurt flavor at a froyo place. Pretty fun. 7/10

Overall

Cost: 7/10

Taste: 6/10

Tootsie Caramel Apple Pop

These are nut free, which is great! Tootsie is cool. This is much better than a tootsie roll, and quite different from a tootsie pop. It's a sour apple lollipop (good bright green sour flavor) with a thin uneven coating of hardish sticky caramel over it. A pretty unique candy! I kind of expected the caramel to be chewy, but it really was not. This is a licker of a sucker. But the taste was good, so that's OK.

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 7/10

Tootsie Pops

I am sick, so right now these sound terrible, but these are a classic candy and nut free too! They're actually quite good, and every flavor is decent, although I think I like the reds the best. Maybe orange is the worst, but still OK. The tootsie roll inside is kind of weird, but it's certainly better than gum (i.e. blow pops) because you can swallow it! Anyway, for a lolly, these are great.

Caramel: My mom got me a whole bag of caramel flavored tootsie pops for Christmas because she heard me mention the caramel apple pop once and got confused! Poor sweet mom. Sadly, I don't like the caramel flavor as much as the "traditional" flavors, but it isn't bad. A nice caramelly taste, but kind of marred by the underlying tootsie roll. Texture is also odd for caramel which I want to chew. But it's OK. 6/10

Watermelon: This is part of Mr. Owl's Summer Favorites special edition mix. It tastes exactly like a watermelon tootsie pop would taste. A little tastier than a watermelon jolly rancher (less tart? on a stick?), but not as delicious as cherry tootsie pop. Pretty nice though. 7/10

Blue Raspberry: Another Summer Favorite, and it does feel like a summery popsicle. Basically the same flavor as a blue raspberry dum dum, but with the added bonus of being Big, and therefore more delicious. A little creamy almost, like those big hardware store sphere-lollies (possibly just this way because of increased salivation? idk).  7/10

Fruit Punch: Could it be? An exception to the 'red flavors are best' rule? This tastes basically identical to the fruit punch dum dum, and that tastes exactly like Hawaiian Punch as a lolly, which is fine, but not especially delicious or complex. A bottom tier Tootsie! Below Orange, maybe even. 6/10

Ghoulish Green Apple: As you may have guessed from the name, this is from a "Spooktacular" Halloween Assortment. Has a very cute cat on the wrapper. At first, this tastes just like the starburst green apple pops, but at second... it's strictly worse. A very un-bright undernote of "trash", "burnt oven", something not good. Like peanut smells like to me (death). I guess it's good for Halloween, but not good for eating. 4/10

Scary Berry: What's the scariest Berry? According to Tootsie, I guess it's grape. That IS a scary berry; it's hardly even a berry. This is purple and tastes like buttery toast with grape jelly on, or maybe raspberry jelly. It's pretty good, although why is it buttery? And toasty? Weirdly, even with that it doesn't evoke the burnt death vibes of the apple one. Flavor is so weird. 6/10

Orange Scream: Tastes like orange sherbert? Or an orange smoothie? Kinda fizzy, sherbet milky orange. OK, but strong. Dad tried it too and says “good”,  like a creamsicle. 6/10

Overall
Cost: 9/10
Taste: 7/10

Dum-Dums Holiday Pops

I bought these for my students to enjoy, but only a few of them even wanted one. Ha ha, more for me! Anyway, these are free of all the top-8 allergens, which makes them a good school snack. They also are super nut free, which is chill. And you know I'm a sucker for dumb seasonal limited edition flavors, so I was excited to give these a try. I think ultimately I prefer regular dum dums, but these were still decent.


Merry Cherry: I feel like I've had this flavor before as a dum dum? Anyway, it's definitely a "cherry" flavor, not super sweet, and giving me vague medicinal vibes. Not my favorite cherry candy in the world, that's for sure. 5/10

Sugar Plum: What is a sugar plum? Just a sweeter plum? I guess that's this...it has a bit of a burnt/caramel flavor, kind of like a raspberry tootsie pop. Not super sweet. I kind of like it. Definitely unique/interesting. 7/10

Hot Chocolate: At first I thought it was weird to have a chocolate lollipop flavor, but this tastes a lot like the chocolate tootsie pop, which is fine. Not my favorite, but fine. Like the others, this is a pretty good likeness -- it really tastes like hot chocolate powder, down to those little grainy marshmallows. I already don't love hot chocolate but if you do I bet you'll like this. 6/10

Sugar Cookie: I guess this tasted like a sugar cookie, but the execution wasn't there for me -- something was a little off, too artificial perhaps? 4/10

Gingerbread: Yikes. Normally I love ginger/gingerbread, but I guess I wasn't expecting it in a dum-dum. This has an authentic, strong ginger flavor, like a sweet ginger tea. But I don't like it as a lollipop. Don't know why. I guess I just want a cookie instead! 4/10

Apple Cider: Tastes just like apple cider. Unlike gingerbread, this isomorphism works for me, because my lollipop saliva is basically liquid. So...yeah. 8/10

Green Apple Crunch: Not really sure what the crunch is supposed to mean, but this is a strong, clear, sweet green apple flavor. Maybe caramel apple is the idea? Not sure. I do like it though. 8/10

Polar Punch: Feels like a mix of bubble gum and a less tart blue raspberry. Like a blue icee! It's OK. 5/10

Mystery: This had a cute santa on the wrapper, which I love. was also bright blue, so I'm guessing mainly polar punch for this one! Which is OK. This was a little sweeter than the polar punch proper, which I think I preferred. 6/10


Overall
Cost: 8/10 (Only 2.50 at Walgreens!)
Taste: 6/10

Yum Earth Organic Lollipops

So, these lollipops really get around in the gluten-free/organic/whole foods sector, but they're also nut free, and therefore I am interested in them. From YumEarth (originally called Yummy Earth -- good change, I think), these come in a bunch of different flavors, but each pop is about 70 calories and a nice size.

They are also made with real fruit extract, but like....it's still a lollipop. Health food this is not.

The flavors (at least as of now) are: Strawberry, Grape, Mango, Peach, Berry, Pomegranate, Watermelon, and Cherry. I like the Cherry, Grape, and Peach best, they all have bright, strong flavors. The berry is fine, but I'm not really sure which berry it's supposed to taste like. Maybe the always mysterious blue raspberry? The pomegranate, strawberry, and watermelon are OK, but not amazing. Mango is the prettiest colors (yellow and gold!) but it's not as good as the others. The nice thing about these is that they're pretty easy to buy both online and in stores, and they aren't super expensive even though they're gluten-free/organic/etc. A nice treat for the common folk, if you will. I'm happy to have a few of these a month; they're a nice sweet treat that doesn't make you feel like I-just-ate-a-box-of-oreos garbage.

Sour Apple Tart: So this is a flavor I had never seen before, but I got one and it had the (very very old?) YummyEarth labelling. However, it's a freakin' lolly, so I ate it regardless of the fact that it was probably 5+ years old. And it was good! Probably the best of the flavors -- not too sweet, just a nice strong sour apple, kind of like a Jolly Rancher. Alas, I'll probably never have it again. 7/10

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10