Oat Haus Cookie Dough Granola

Hell yeah. That cookie looks good. I don't think I've had a non-packaged cookie since the last time I had roommates!! Living with other nut free humans was really peak cookie time. I love a cookie. Maybe I should get on the apps in pursuit of cookie cohabitation. Anyway, a good omen for the granola.

Granola was not as good as cookie picture. But, it tastes like I am 1000% about to die. Extremely, like, burnt sweet flavor, which is how PB tastes in my mind. I have never eaten it so this might be wrong, but it is the smell of danger and I can sniff it out miles away. I know other PB allergy-havers feel the same spidey sense. Anyway, I'm NOT about to die, at least not from this, because it is explicitly nut free (which is why I bought it). So, settle down, brain. Once we get past that, there is a strong coconut flavor (which makes sense because there's coconut oil in). Tastes more like a nice Chewy bar than a cookie, but I don't mind a nice Chewy bar. (How do you know what a Chewy bar tastes like, Kati? When I was a teen, Giant (Landover) made a nut free knockoff, and it was glorious.)) One user error is that the chocolate was completely melted so things were a little bit of a goopy mess when I opened this. Still tastes fine but I put the bag in the fridge for future summer granola grazing. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10  

Oat Haus Cinnamon Graham Granola Butter

I actually had this in a single serve packet also (which indicated this is apparently the same as "original flavor"), but no such pictures are available and I already toothpaste-crumpled mine beyond belief. One of my biggest "learnings" (I really hate that term... I need to add it to a list somewhere) is that the packet form factor sucks shit. I just have wet wet oil here while the oat bit remains inaccessible to me, even with all manner of knife and scissor. Otherwise the flavor is not bad. It does taste like a cinnamon graham cookie. I put it on my beloved ginger snaps and it matched well. (I know people put nut butter on Oreos because of Survivor, so I figured it wasn't a crazy thing to do). A nice amount of (all)spice, cardamom, ginger, cinnamon. But I genuinely feel like I got 2 tsp of content out of the packet so it's all a bit uncertain. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [1.70$]
Taste: 6/10? 

Oat Haus Granola Butter - Vanilla

I admit I wasn't super impressed by the other flavors of Granola Butter, but I am willing to try a 1-serving packet of another flavor, sure. Even if it's the Pikachu of flavors. This is 170calos and has the texture of ketchup. That is, it's way less solid than the jar butters. I kneaded for so long. The most vigorous massage I ever gave in my life was wasted on this granola butter packet. I did all my toothpaste tube maneuvers and ended up with like, one spoonful of wet, shiny, tahini-looking glorp. It tasted like the other flavors, but less good because there was no chocolate. So like, a kinda vanilla, kinda coconut, kinda oat, sugary oily blorp. That sounds good actually, but it wasn't. It was just there. Trying to think what would be good to pair with this and I don't know. Chocolate? Cheesecake? Froyo? But I don't have any of these things. So. Glad it was just a single serving in there! Now we know!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [1.50]
Taste: 5/10 

Oat Haus Cookie Dough Granola Butter

Whew, it's a good thing I had the darker Red Velvet flavor first, because this is a VERY SCARY tan color. But it's safe....it's safe...

I like cookie dough more than red velvet cake, so I also prefer this flavor. The texture is still very gritty, although this one was more liquidy and less stiff. It does have a cookie dough flavor, but with some added "oil and oats" notes, which makes sense because those things are in it and wheat flour and eggs(?) and butter(?) aren't. In college my besties and I used to buy a tube of Pillsbury cookie dough from TroGro (now a Starbucks, one of many tragedies occurring at my once beloved alma mater) and just eat it. Those were the days. But that tube dough was much tastier than this jar dough. Perhaps if I'd never had the tube dough, I'd rate it higher. Or perhaps if I were eating eat out of this jar with three age-matched peers who indulged my no-double-dipping request. Really makes you think.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10 

Oat Haus Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Granola

When it rains, it pours! But this is just unambiguously* good. No weird texture issues; the texture is that of granola and the taste is exactly that of chocolate chip banana bread + granola. A lot of companies start out nut free and then pivot (Built Bars, MadeGood, Brownie Brittle) so I hope that doesn't happen here, because I will actually buy this regularly. It's just oats/quinoa/tapioca/dark choco/banana flavor. Banana is having a moment right now, also. Check out Dunkin's new banana cold foam and syrup! (This is a note to me, primarily, since I can't eat fresh banana due to O-A-S but I do really love banana.)]

*Oop, hold on, there is a weird little aftertaste. A bit artificial. But not too strong... just ignore it... 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$ish? but it's 10 servings!]
Taste: 7/10 

Oat Haus Red Velvet Granola Butter

Granola Butter? What will they think of next!? OK, so apparently this was on Shark Tank (never watched it), and the owner is big on TikTok (never used it), and that tracks to me because the name "oat haus" is right in that annoying hipster space. (It used to be called something even worse, though, so we're getting there). Anyway, I saw this in a store and thought "nut free, eh?" so I got it because I will eat pretty much anything I'm not allergic to, as you've no doubt observed. I have never wanted a peanut butter replacement, since I've never wanted peanut butter, and in fact the idea is actively repulsive to me. But I do like granola, butter, and cakes, so I wasn't sure how it'd go. 

It went....eh. The appearance is pretty nasty -- mud would be generous. I wasn't expecting little white choco chips in there. It's a lot like gritty, slightly whipped chocolate frosting. I do get red velvet cake vibes, so they did a good job flavor matching. I like that you can keep it in the cupboard even after it's open. I must say, my first reaction was disappointment and mild disgust (at the texture, which I imagine is way grittier than any nut butter (??)), but as is so often the case, the more I ate it, the more I got into it. It is extremely fatty, so that makes sense. It's also sweet, but not quite icing sweet, which is a plus. I'm open to receiving more of what "Oat Haus" has to Auffer me. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$!]
Taste: 6/10