Marzetti veggie dip singles - ranch

Hrmm. My parents had these for veg, and I usually love a dip for veg, but I didn't love these. I said it was because I'm used to the low-fat version, which I thought was true, but I think I'm just not used to Marzetti -- I get Hidden Valleys at home! Who knew Hidden Valley was my hidden preference. This was too "cream heavy", not enough water or zing or veggie flavor. It was OK, I used it, but it's not my favorite. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Doritos Spicy Nacho Dip

Blerugh. Unlike the Cool Ranch dip, which was much better than I expected, this was worse than I expected and the worse flavor of the two. I thought it'd be like a cheesy dip, like Tostitos Queso, but instead it was very gloopy and artificial, like Tostitos "Nacho Cheese Dip". I saw no real comparison to Doritos here, which is no sweat, but on its own it was very chemical and not food-like. Better after heating, for sure, enough to where I was able to consume it, but not enough to truly enjoy it. There is a good level of heat/spice to this, but nothing else of note. Truly mid.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Tostitos Nacho Cheese Dip

Noooooo I bought these thinking they were just little cups of the tostitos QUESO which I've had before and like. But this is not QUESO! it is some horrible cheeseless oil paste they call DIP. Why didn't I look closer!? Booo. It's unpleasant. No good. I gave the others to my parents; if they report that they love it, I'll edit this post.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 4/10

utz Creamy Onion Dip

Oh, boy. I was nervous about trying this because the other utz dip I tried was really, really bad. Fortunately, this was not as gross as I feared. It was a little too "thick", but the taste was overall pleasant, just onion and dairy. It was OK for cucumbers or pierogy.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Hidden Valley Ready-to-Eat Dip, Classic Ranch

Hidden Valley always makes me think of my college bud Alex, who hid ranch and said "Well, it's hidden valley". Ah, memories. 

Anyway, this dip was fine. It's shelf stable (I guess), which is a good quality, but then it's more like a dressing than a dip and I think that came through here. It was weirdly sweet and not very milky. I don't know, but I think plain ranch dressing may be a better choice for a dip. Sorry, HV.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Tostitos Salsa con Queso dip

This is probably the best chip-dipping goo I've had at my home for the duration of this pandemy. It's queso like you remember it from the movies, a little spicy and very salty, but only if you eat it cold! I was worried that having it cold (or tepid) would be dangerous but I think it was fine. Heated up is OK but you lose something somehow in doing this. Less flavor. Anyway, this is certainly terrible for your body but in small quantities I think it's a great treat. There's not really any "salsa" to speak of, it's just queso that's a lil spicy with occasional chunks of pepper (not many). Good stuff.

Overall

Cost: 5/10 (4$ish, kinda pricy for what it is)

Taste: 8/10

Cheez Whiz Original Cheese Dip

I'm really going all in on the Kraft "cheese-like" products, huh!? Believe it or not, I've never had Cheez Whiz in any form before today, so I wasn't sure what to expect, but this was the only queso-esque thing I could find online so I got it. Heated up 2 spoonsful in the microwave for 30sec and had with some tortilla chips. It definitely wasn't the nacho queso I'm used to, but it was OK. At first I thought it tasted like the cheese chunk in those Handy Snacks crackers and cheese things (not a great endorsement, but nostalgic), but then I realised it just tastes a lot like movie theater nacho cheese. Makes sense. The texture is more "thick" and "processed" than an ideal queso, but the taste is OK if you accept what it is (I usually love shitty processed movie theater nacho cheese if I'm expecting it). It's no Qdoba queso, but it's way better than Chipotle queso, so do with that what you will. I don't know if I'd rebuy this given, say, a Tostito's option (we'll have to try that soon), but I plan to finish the jar with my corn chips and maybe pretzels (or tortillas? or rice? or pasta??), who knows!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (Around 3.50)
Taste: 6/10

Tostitos Queso Blanco Dip

This was good; not amazing, but good. I put it on some hand veggies, and also mixed it in with rice and corn, both of which were serviceable but made me wish I had some tortilla chips around. Anyway, I like it more than salsa or most yellow queso, but it isn't as good as the queso from Moe's or CalTort or almost anywhere except Chipotle.

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Tostito's Chunky Salsa - Medium

I've been dealing with some tooth pain, so now is the perfect time to embrace mushy foods like salsa. I was lucky that someone left this (blissfully unopened) jar of salsa behind at a party, and now that I have 0200420 tortillas to go through, this salsa has been a real blessing. I'm sure it'd be good with tortilla chips as well, but I've been using it for tacos and breakfast quesadillas, and it really helps to cool down the hot food, which is great. The taste is good, just like you'd expect, and the "medium" is hardly spicy at all, which is good I think. It's like restaurant salsa but a little chunkier, brighter red, and less cilantro/garlic. Just tomato, pepper and onion in a tomato sauce. On its own it's unremarkable, but it's a nice moist addition to many Mex-adjacent foods.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Goya Mild Salsa - Pico De Gallo

I don't usually love jarred salsas, but this one is fairly unique as jarred salsas go. It's quite watery and also pretty spicy for something with the 'mild' moniker. Otherwise, this is a standard tomato/pepper/onion mix. It's more salsa than pico, in that there's plenty of salty dark tomato paste, but I think that's probably what most people are looking for. Plus the jar looks pretty stylish! It also stays good for weeks in the fridge, so this is a very convenient snack to have around for chips/tacos/etc.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 (about 2.30)
Taste: 5/10

Utz Jalepeño & Cheddar Dip

Lord, how I regret this purchase!!!! I thought it was cheap and not too unhealthy, but what I didn't realise was that it would taste truly horrible. One bite and I threw it out. This isn't like nacho cheese dip you'd get at a movie theater. This isn't like jars of cheese sauce you find in the salsa aisle. This is like....fungus and goop in a misleading yellow guise. Do not buy. I repeat, do not buy. (Sad because I like Utz chips! alas)




Overall
Cost: 8/10
Taste: 2/10

El Pinto Medium Salsa

This is a supposed "medium", but to me it was fairly spicy. Not bad, just a little too spicy for me! The taste was pretty average, maybe more watery than I would like. Pretty much a standard prepacked salsa. I'd rather make my own! :9

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 5/10

Trading Company Sunburst Salsa - Habenero Lime

This salsa is very spicy, despite the label prose promising it not to be. It has an OK flavor, or at least it is more interesting than another boring jarred salsa, but it's almost painful to eat. I didn't enjoy it (maybe that's why this flavor was on clearance!).

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [1.39]
Taste: 3/10

Laura says: This is too spicy for my taste. But it's still not BAD and I would finish the jar. Also it's super cheap for salsa. Maybe I would like a different flavor of the same brand that isn't so spicy. 6/10