Having exhausted the extra-dark pretzel options from utz, it was time for me to try the "original" version. Well, now I know the original version is inferior. Tastes like nothing (whereas the extra dark ones taste like Pretzel). The texture of these is good -- immanently biteable -- and the size is also good; 5 makes a satisfying serving. The ingredient statement has my heart, as ever. But these pretzels are hardly special(s).
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10
I have a disease. Well, I have lots of diseases, but one of them is apparently buying stuff that is hard to chew despite hating things that are hard to chew. I have TMJ now! What am I doing! But truly, who could resist "Hards"? What branding. It's a thing of beauty. Also, these pretzels are massive, which is funny, but they're also like teeny versions of soft pretzels, which is doubly funny. A serving size is one pretzel. The taste is 'pretzel'. I would prefer the extra dark flavor profile, but I guess there's only so many pretzel variations utz can handle. As with all the utzes, these are proudly made in a nut-free facility and have no ingredients about which to fret. Many of them are broken in the bag, which is really something because they are indeed extremely hard. The reviews for these are also so wholesome and enchanting. The people love Hards!
Something else stupid about me is that I absolutely hate that "my wets" meme about noodles etc, and I don't know why I hate that so much but I like these (and other silly nominalized adjective names). I hope it's not that I find companies loveable and people hateable, because that's backwards thinking. Maybe the first noticed wets enjoyers (SHUDDER) are just people I particularly disliked, and I've retained that info deep down. I hope so. Anyway, this has been your moment of irrational language prejudice; sleep well.
Overall
Cost: 6/10 [2.50]
Taste: 6/10
Whew, rough day. (Rough week... rough month... rough year... rough life??!) I'll spare you the non-pretzel related details, for now. I reached for these as my first food of the day, tried 2, and then had to stop eating them and then later throw out the rest of the bag due to potentially deathly cross-contamination by a family member. Luckily they weren't amazing, so it's more of a monetary loss than a deliciousness loss. I like the cute shape, but I didn't realise these were "artificially butter flavored". That butter flavor is very strong and yea very artificial. So, I wouldn't rebuy these, although if there were "plain" waffles (!) I would get those.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10
Agonies: 9/10
Faced with my own inadequacies, I turn to pretzels. These are good. First of all, I used to have a tiny roommate named Kate who would play trivia with me under the name "Pretzealous". We sucked at trivia (too many sports and porn star questions) but were very good at eating the soft pretzels. These taste a bit like that, only not soft. A strong barley vibe, which at first scared me (the nuttiness, I guess) but I soon grew to enjoy. These are filling and substantial and crunchy. Great for dipping and pairing. A lot in the bag. These are better than the previous pretzel (logs?). A good discovery. Actually, I might have already discovered these 11 years ago and liked them then too, but the bag looks different now so whatever, I'll keep this one up. I hope lil Kate is doing well.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
I have nothing in which to dipper these stix, but they're still solid. Nice and thick, not too firm, salty and malty but not overwhelmingly so. Plus the classic "nut free" label prose we love to see. These aren't particularly delicious, but within the genre of "plain hard pretzel", they are top tier.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Can't believe I didn't review these yet! I feel like crap and my room smells, but these are still good. Tasty, filling, a lil sweet and salty but also savory, and they are explicit about being nut free! I've enjoyed these for a long time now and I'm glad they still exist.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 8/10
These were a lot smaller than I expected! But a serving is six of 'em, so it's a decent snack. I always liked Superpretzel (big size), and these are essentially the same product, just small. I do think the texture is worse if you microwave them than the big ones are (chewier, drier), but the taste is the same, and it's very convenient so I never even tried another method. The salt is fun. Overall, fun. I need to try these with cheese dip later! Right now my throat hurts and I'm very sleepy.
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10
These are quite tasty! I thought they would be a good snack for me to very slowly graze on, but alas, they are too delicious for that purpose. Hardly even a pretzel! They're thinner than I expected and easier to bite. The powder isn't skimpy, and it's got a nice sour/spicy tang to it. Does it taste like nacho cheese? My first instinct is "no", it tastes like a powder for a cracker/chip/etc, but I guess the aftertaste is somewhat cheese-dip-y. These could just as well be 'tangy ranch' flavored, though (even though they aren't gross, as ranch might imply). The twist shape is also fun. Good stuff. Plus, the 'peanut free facility' label is lovely as ever!
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 8/10
When I got this in the mail I thought "too bad, I'll probably be allergic to this", but it was shockingly nut (and sesame) free! Even says so right on the packaging, which is really great. So I'm a new fan of this company. The pretzels themselves were just OK -- the caramel flavor is a light powder, just like a cheese flavoring would be, which is kind of unsatisfying. It did have the appropriate sweet flavor, but that's nothing special for me. If they got into the yogurt/choco-covered game, they'd really be lighting my fire! I'm still interested in trying some of the other savory flavors, though.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
I never realised that this is stylised like a Superman type pretzel. That's cute. Anyway, I love Super Pretzel. They cook in 33 seconds and are a warm, safe, nourishing treat right from your freezer. The salt is a lot but it's addictive nevertheless. Very nice to have a SuperPretzel. What more can I say but "yum"?
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 8/10
Hollow pretzels! What will they think of next. This bag looked hip and trendy, so I figured I'd be allergic to it, but it turns out I wasn't! Also, the pretzels tasted pretty good. Better then I thought -- more crunchy. Neat.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Apparently, the pretzel goldfish character has a name, and it's Gilbert. I'm sure there's other Goldfish lore out there, but I am going to wait for it to come to me naturally. Excited to learn it though.
Gilbert tastes pretty good here. The pretzel fish almost have a buttery note to them when compared to your standard pretzel, and are a nice salty savory snack in a cute shape. What's not to like?
Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10
Honestly? These were kinda neat. They're very different from regular gluteny pretzels, and they kind of taste like a corn puffed snack or a potato flake, but still in pretzel shape so it would serve for dipping or whatever you use pretzels for. Sour cream dip would be good; mustard maybe not so much. The taste on its own might actually be better than regular pretzels! But definitely different, not a great "dupe". Less salty also maybe? And there's a lot in 1 100 calorie bag. Kind of cool to try these, definitely better than I'd expected.
Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10
