Haribo Sour Sodas

New Haribo?! Very exciting. I'm a big fan of soda flavored candy (OK, I'm a big fan of bottle caps), so let's see. 

Well, the texture is freakin' weird. They are soft like the unicorn gummies, but not bite-through-able. Also, they don't taste anything like soda. But they are sour. They also melted and fused together a lot. 

Cherry-cola: I'm getting cherry, I'm getting Haribo gummy, I'm not getting cola. Ehhh. Wait, but another one tastes only of cola, no cherry. Are they unevenly created?! Intriguing. 6/10? 

Peach-blue raspberry: This just tastes like a peach gummy but sour. I like sour but I don't love peach gummy, even in frog or bottle form. Ehhh. 5/10 

Lemon-strawberry: This one tastes like french fries. What the hell is going on here. 5/10

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 (except the one cola-flavored one )

Haribo Frogs

Save me, frog gummy! These were a gift from my bff Mimi. They are super cute and a serving is 6. I love frogs. However they are peach flavored. That's messed up. Frogs aren't peach flavored! I don't really like peach ring type gummy, but it is better as a small frog. Mid-tier haribo. Top tier shape.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Haribo Funtastic Mix

This is a fun(tastic) concept because there's a bunch of different shapes (15) and flavors (8), too many to even put on the bag!, which is what I like (see also: Star Mix). And no licorice! But the different kinds aren't really that different. Don't mess with success, I guess, but I wish the flavors were a little more exciting. I finally counted the number and there were 33 gummies, so a serving is approximately 4 (miss me with that 2 Tbsp stuff).

T-Rex: This one is big; purple, and yellow. You get lemon and whatever the purple flavor is. There is also an orange and yellow one and a red and yellow one. Chewy. In the words of teenage goths everywhere, rawr. 6/10

Racecar: Weirdly flat for a racecar; I thought it was some sort of alligator at first. I got orange with white marshmallow bottom, green with white bottom, and red with white bottom. All are good, although the flavors remain somewhat elusive. I eventually looked them up so I can map green=apple, since I think green is the best. 8/10

Robot: I love a (non-LLM) robot. Very cute. It was clear (pineapple) and orange (orange). Tastes like generic gummy. Also had a yellow and red one, which was tastier. Beep boop. 7/10

Turtle: There's a yellow with white bottom, which was like the fried eggs with with a more boring texture and nice lemon flavor, as well as an orange with white bottom. Good. 7/10

Alligator: Similar to the turtle, which I guess makes some kind of sense. There's a yellow with white bottom and a red with white bottom. 7/10 

Snake: This was just plain orange. Surprisingly good. 8/10 

Airplane: Ah yes, the two genders, reptile(y) and vehicle(y). There's a red one, which is boring, and a clear one, which is also boring but a bit tastier. I guess I like pineapple. 6/10 

Whale: I guess whale counts as reptiley. This gummy was as big as a whale! There's a huge flat orange one and a huge flat clear one. Ho hum. 6/10 

Tourist-looking lad: Hmm. My taxonomy is breaking down a bit. A yellow&green one that tastes like Amazing Fruit gummy bears (good), I guess because of the apple, and a yellow&clear one that was somewhat less delicious. 8/10

Worm: Surely reptiley. A fun shape; bumpy. Yellow/green/red mix. 7/10 

Bird: Another reptile. This was yellow/orange. Good. 7/10 

Froggie: Reptile for sure. (I always thought the reptile/amphibian distinction was tricky, anyway). Yellow and white. Good. 7/10 

Iguana: Aha! This is like, actually a retpile. There's a blue/yellow/red combo, which is very tropical, and a green/yellow/red one. Both are good. 7/10  

Flamingo: Uh oh, was this the same as "bird"? My haribo notes are not conclusive enough. It was white and orange, so maybe. Hmm. 6/10 

Bottle: An unconventional vehicle (and candy shape); this isn't a cola bottle, it's like... a baby bottle? Must be some euro business. Lemonade bottle?? OK haribo. It was clear/orange, and just OK. 6/10 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$?]
Taste: 7/10 

Haribo Berries

Today a new part of my body has become numb (my back!) so in search of emotional and/or physical relief, I decided it was time to sample these jaunty Haribo berries. I always assumed they were licorice, so avoided them, but they aren't! They're raspberry and blackberry flavor, I think. Which makes sense because they look like those things. This is an adorable conceit; like a gumdrop covered in sprinkles. Not firm at all. Extremely sugary, maybe even verging on "too sweet" (in my opinion, I mean, not in John Q. Dietician's opinion). Very different from any other Haribo (in a good way). I think the red one is marginally more delicious. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Haribo Happy Chicks

These are the only happy chicks I see nowadays, you feel me? They're cute though. These gummies are in various states of hatchedness; some are even full egg. The texture is pretty soft for Haribo. The flavors aren't listed on the bag, so these are just my best guess: 

    yellow: pineapple? fine.
    dark yellow: lemon? pretty darn lemony.
    pink: strawberry? fine.
    orange: orange? okay.
    dark red: cherry? good.
    green: green apple? fine.

In conclusion, I should have bought more Haribo. These aren't even that good, I just like them.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Haribo Football Mix

Football is cute when Haribo does it. I assume this is a Haribo USA creation, and Germans aren't enjoying Raspberry Foam Finger Gummy like I did. But I did. Soon it'll be time for my annual year in review reflection, and probably the only category on there that won't depress me is gonna be Haribos (a new category invented just for this year to not depress me). Anyway, this was at Wal-Mart, where I rarely go, so it may be a Wal-Mart exclusive, which is too bad because it was pretty fun. These have the white dolphin-gummy coating on the bottom that I like. They're still extremely firm, too firm, but the flavors are mostly good. My ranking is:

Raspberry Foam Finger > Lemon Cleat > Apple Jersey > Orange Football > Strawberry Helmet (tastes like nothing) >>>> Pineapple Trophy (tastes bad)

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Haribo Goldbears - Wild Berry

I can't buy a little treat every time a new stressor emerges, because then I'd have infinite little treats and therefore no little treats. But if there's like, 50 new ones and I'm about to go to the store, I feel it's fair game. Plus this is a new flavor. Gotta check it out for the people.

Wild Cherry: Pink is a weird color for cherry. This tastes a lot like plastic and weird gummy. I'm out on Wild Cherry Haribo. 5/10

Raspberry: Tastes a bit like a cough drop. I'm out on Raspberry Haribo. 5/10

Blueberry: OK. Blue is a reasonable color for blueberry. 6/10

Blackberry: This one isn't great either. In fact I assumed it was grape, even though grape is not a wildberry (although it would be a wild berry). 5/10

Strawberry: This is pretty good. Better than strawberry usually is. 6/10 

Hmm. Maybe I'm just in a cranky mood. But at the same time, these are super firm, not very flavorful, and a little plasticcy. So maybe Haribo is to blame instead.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Haribo Sweet & Sour Reindeer

Ho ho Haribo! I guess technically it's Thanksgiving, but whatever. This year all the hols are one big mushy blob for me. These are good Haribo; I like the flavors and the mix of sweet and sour, but they're so so firm! Why so firm!? Is it just because they're thick? Are they secretly old even though they're obviously not because it's November? I used to think I outgrew my Haribo rage but I didn't, I just had softer ones. The eternal struggle. Anyway. Here's the rundown.

Lemon: This one is sour! Real sour compared to the others. Also skinnier and firmer. It's solid in every sense. This is also the one I had the most of, which is just fine. 6/10

Sweet Apple: This one is sweet! At first I didn't know if it was sweet or sour from tasting it. So I do like it. Nice apple vibes. 7/10

Sour Orange: Sour orange is a rare combo. This is weirdly softer than the others, but still not that soft. I do like it, but it's more acidic orange than sour orange. 6/10

Sweet Cherry: Not really sweet OR sour. Pleasant enough though. A typical Haribo. I like the cherry shaped ones way more, but maybe that's the FIRMNESS... 6/10

Sour Strawberry: Tastes like nothing. Neither sour no -- wait, I guess there'a  lil strawberry flavor, which I don't like. Meh. 5/10

Blueberry: I only got one of these! It was sweet and fine. Mild. 6/10

Also, live-blogging update, I just heard an Ava Max(?) song that samples Alphaville's Forever Young and it's like I'm living in a cycle of Forever Young releases every 5 years that get steadily worse but still make me weep. That song was always on in the clubs!! Now those clubs don't exist!! and if they did I wouldn't go anyway!! Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate ;___; 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Haribo Sour Bats

I also ate these a few days before an agonizing stomach ailment, but I'm quite sure they aren't to blame! Sweet little Haribo wouldn't hurt a fly (except for those sugar free ones which I'm pretty sure are off the market now). I really did a 180 on Haribo, but these were pretty good. They're large, not too firm, distinctly flavored, cute, and seasonal to boot. Very impressive resume. Plus they were only 50 cents! The inner bat bit is "blackcurrant" flavor, which, OK. It was a neutral sweet gummy. The wings are what really shine. 

I think the cherry is my favorite; it's sweet and just a little sour. Tastes like a good cherry (little a bottle cap, starburst, or tootsie pop) and not a medicinal cherry (most other cherries)! 7/10

The apple is more sour, with a good strong green apple flavor. 7/10

The orange is middle of the road sour, and it too has a nice sweet orange flavor! 7/10

Overall
Cost: 8/10
Taste: 7/10

Haribo - Harry Potter

God, sometimes I get so sad about how all the things I used to love are ruined by people being terrible. Of course the difference is there aren't R.Kelly and Pinker gummies being sent to me free in the mail (although that'd also be terrible). Anyway, as always I didn't buy this for myself and resent that it exists and wrote a negative review on the actual product site. But you get the real truth of it... in hopes that they rebrand as Scary Dotter gummies or something. Mm. For once they tell you the serving size in gummies: 6. Blessedly, these have a super weird rancid sweet flavor about half the time, so I don't yearn for a Dotter rebrand. They can just ef right off. The Ron and Hermione versions are essentially the same as Harry's, except the little red face is a different face and the animal is alternatively an owl, a rat, or a cat. After eating a lot of these, I determined that there's two 50/50 shots (both independent): having a white bottom and being weirdly gross tasting. So each shape is the same color but comes in four varieties, my favorite being white bottom x not gross and my least favorite being no white bottom x gross. Lol. 

Golden Snitch: Actually a Yellow Snitch; it's lemon sorbet flavor. This is worse than lemon flavor haribo (or maybe just the bad IP vibes sinking in?); it tastes a little rancid and rotten. I'm not getting lemon OR sorbet! Ick! (yay that ick)! 2/10

Blue Lightning Bolt: Cotton Candy flavor -- this also tastes weirdly rotten and bad. Hooray! Slightly more berry flavored than the snitch, but mostly not good. 5/10 

Yellow Letter: More lemon sorbet (bad) with a white bottom (doesn't cancel out the bad)! 3/10

Clear Owl/Rat: Hedwig? It's caramel, which tastes just like lemon sorbet (bad). Scabbers is the same, and Crookshanks too. They all have evil looking eyes, which is confusing. New Haribo canon? 3

Clear Mug 'o (Butter)beer: Caramel with foam bottom, but 50% of them were somehow not gross like the owl. IDK man. 6/10

Brown Hat: Cola with and without foam bottom. Now we're talking. 7/10

Green Potted Plant: apple, tastes good but what plant does Harry have!? Is my HP knowledge atrophied? (Probably for the best, but shocking) 8/10

Green 9 3/4 sign: with foam bottom; ALSO tastes weird as hell. what is happening?!?!?! 3/10 

Red Lumpy Circle: I guess this is supposed to be Harry et al's head? It's cherry, and tastes pretty good (or sometimes gross). Looks like a football most of the time.

Overall
Cost: 8/10
Taste: 5/10
Missing Out Factor: 2/10 :D 

Haribo Sour S'ghetti

It does occur to me that my latest health debacle is highly correlated with an increase in Haribo consumption, but I don't think it's causative. Maybe. Anyway, these look not cute (what is this mascot even?) but they are in my Haribo top tier. That's mainly due to their shape, which is thin and therefore not (as) firm!! The sour coating is also a good tangy quality. And a serving is 25! Why, that's 1/5 of a unicorn. Anyway, there's 4 distinct flavors here:

Purple aka strawberry: this tastes a little bit like medicine. But I do like the thin sourness nevertheless. 6/10
Blue aka blueberry: Now this really tastes like those fantastical sour blue dolphins of my youth. I like it! 7/10
Pink aka watermelon: It's OK. Not medicinal, but watermelon is never my favorite candy flavor. 6/10
Green aka apple: I thought these were rare but it was just dark in my room! This is the sweetest one and therefore least sour, which is annoying because sour is the whole vibe. Luckily if you eat enough they all blend together and you might think it's blue. 6/10

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Haribo Unicorn-i-licious

This is cute because it reminds me of Nicole on Big Brother. As I fall into total menty b territory, at least I have cute nut-free unicorn gummies! These are new but the "new" bit is more the flavors than the shape. The shape is cute but very large, and because these are so dang chewy, it's worse than the lil bears I think. The flavors are fun though:

Banana - not often you get a banana gummy, so the rareness is fun. It's a little weird, but nostalgia for runts overrides that.

Cotton Candy - no real flavor to this one, just pleasantly sweet. Better than I feared a cotton candy flavor would be.

Purple ("berry punch") - The flavor is a vague berry, which is about right. Fun and a little like a skittle.

Green Apple - Like a less sweet green jolly rancher. Also a rare gummy flavor. A bit of a weird note along with this one, but maybe because I ate chips before.

Tangerine - Decent, like a sour orange flavor. I like it!

Blue Raspberry - Now this one tastes a bit like cotton candy! A very "this is a candy flavor" flavor. Kinda artificial, like bubblegum. Just OK.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Haribo Berry Clouds

Haribo! I always complain about them being too firm (which they ARE) and yet these softer clouds were, how can I put this, too soft. I'm a fool. But they're still fun. And the even better news is, I emailed them to ask if the "vegetable juice" was peas or beans and they said it's not (mostly beets and carrots, although that mostly is doing some work). So, I feel very safe. There is sorbitol in these, though, which I do not like or really understand since there's also regular sugar, and plenty of it. Whatever, I'm still a haribo-stan. The flavors are:

Blueberry: These are so soft and so weird for haribo. They are like the blue dolphin gummies I coveted in 2nd grade. 7/10

Wildberry: Is this....grape? Not as good as blue. 5/10

Strawberry: Medium good. 6/10

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Haribo Be Mine Mix

I'm in NYC! And don't have any friends here! So I don't want to eat alone! So I went to Target for groceries and instead bought....these gummies! I must miss Mai Ha. Anyway, this is for Valentine's Day, which I guess is the next holiday, so it's not crazy they had a Valentine's section. The flavors are cherry, raspberry, and pineapple, and the shapes are X, O, heart, and bear. Not too riveting on either front, but all are good. I think pineapple is probably my favorite, but it's by a narrow margin. Generic sweet nut free treat.

Overall
Cost: ??/10
Taste: 7/10

Haribo Starmix

Hey there Haribo! This was cheap and new to me so I got it. Typically, I don't like Haribo candy because of the insanely tough texture. But they are nut-free and cute. Anyway I must have gotten a lucky fresh batch on this go-around, because it wasn't as insanely firm as usual, just quite firm! What's in here? There's the happy cola bottles, which are fun, and that's probably the thing there's the most of in here. (7/10). Then there's the twin snakes, I guess one is sweet and one is sour, although that varies a lot depending on flavor. But I like the sour ones! (7/10). The rings are a mystery, I like the pineapple ones but the shape is weird. The red ones I can't ID the flavor and they aren't as good (6/10). The plain bears are fine, but boring (6/10) and the cherries are super cute, and have a decent light sour cherry flavor. Nice (7/10). 

2025 update: USA Starmix has evolved to drop the cherries and twin snakes (sniff) and add in some SOFT raspberry hearts and fried eggs. They both have that dolphin-coded white spongy bottom, which is fun, and they are softer, which is good, but I really liked the sour snakes, so I don't know if the overall change is a net positive. Maybe slightly. The egg is very fun, and it's also lemony (8/10), and the heart is also fun, but less than the egg (7/10).

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Haribo Roulette

I've really grown in my Haribo affection over the years! I used to absolutely hate it, because it's so dang firm. But it didn't change.... I did. There's so many fun shapes and colors and they're all nut free. This is the same way, but -- circles! Firm! Some of the flavors actually do taste different, and there's one (red?) that I especially like, as it tastes like Amazing Fruit gummy bears of my early childhood. They're still too firm though. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Haribo Happy Cola

These are a classic haribo thing, so I was excited to try them. They really do taste just like Coca-Cola. Not pepsi, coke! However, I do not like Coca Cola and these are hard gummies so the texture+taste combo is a bit weird. Very impressive flavor match, though. And cute bottle shaped gummies!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Haribo Twin Snakes

I had a lil 2 pack of these, and I think they were yellow and green, so I'm not sure what flavor that is. The two snakes were stuck together so it was basically like a big, chewy, sour gummy. Not bad all in all.

Purple+Orange:  This combo was also not bad, and also very deeply stuck together (but only at the tips). The orange was like a nice orange soda flavor; the purple was a little plasticy and not that sour, but maybe vaguely grape/pineapple flavored. Very classic gummy vibes from the purple. 6/10

Red+Blue: The red bit is blackcurrant, which tastes something like a muskmelon but sour. I like it. The blue bit is boring and blue, but fine. 7/10

The more I eat these the more I like them! And a serving is 3, which is really 6. Mmm, 6. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Haribo Sour Vampire Bats

I'm becoming more interested in the world of Haribo with time, but unfortunately my pack of these was super old and so they were very, very firm (even for haribos). Really tuff. I also ended up with only purple, orange, and green ones in there, but I don't know if those are the only possible colors (this picture makes it seem like there are red ones too?). The green was the only notable flavor for me, it was a nice sour lime. The other two were super generic, not very sour either. More fun than regular haribo but just too firm for me.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Haribo Gold Bears

Unlike the Valentine pack, this actually contained one of each of the classic five flavors. And I guess I was just low on food but I liked it more than I normally like Haribo, even though the texture is still stupid to me. 

The flavors are: 

 Strawberry: Weird because it's green! But tastes nice, has a light strawberry flavor and a fruity gummy vibe.

Raspberry: It's just fine, very neutral to me. Kinda evokes beer (or framboise).

Pineapple: Also fine. Light pineapple flavor.

Lemon: This has a stronger flavor than the others! Nice and lemony.

Orange: My least favorite one -- a light orange flavor but also kind of bitter, I don't love it.

Really all in all not bad, the flavors are mostly very subtle but they are still distinct/recognizable.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10