Jelly Belly Barbie Mix

A single serve 100 calorie pack of jelly bean? This is amazing. Give me a shot of cofe and I'm microdosing all the things that matter. I'm neutral on the Barbie branding, IDK why there's so much all of a sudden (is there a new movie coming out?), but pink is cute. Here is the flavor assortment:

Jewel Very Cherry: Is "jewel" just meant to indicate it's shiny? I think this is just regular cherry. It's a good cherry bean. 7/10

Strawberry Boba Milk Tea: Strawberry Boba Milk Tea tastes a lot like Strawberry. Which is pleasant enough. Wait, what I thought was strawberry boba milk tea must be cotton candy. This is horrible. Tastes like a chemical foot. A foot with a chemical peel on it. Ugh, ergh. I do hate boba, too. There's no strawberry though? What is this? Why is this? Why, Barbie?! 3/10

Cotton Candy: Cotton Candy tastes a lot like Strawberry. Which is pleasant enough. Psych!, that must have been something else. 4/10

Jewel Bubble Gum: You can really taste the "jewel"! Actually, this might be the milk tea. WTF is going on. OK, there are two distinct flavors that taste bad. The opaquer one isn't AS bad, and is more cloy-y milky flowery, so it's probably the boba one. But it could be "jewel" flavor. What the hell is happening here. Wait, I got one normal gum flavored one. So it's the Milk Tea and Cotton Candy that are jank. Whew. 7/10

Strawberry Cheesecake: Love this one. Old faithful. 8/10 

 A wild journey with Barbie.

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10 

Jelly Belly Holiday Favorites

See, now these are sweets (first ingredient rightfully sugar). Excited to fill my jelly bean box with a new medley of flavors. Jelly Belly are peanut free, traditionally, but the bag didn't say so this time, so I sent them an inquiring email. We'll see what's up. In any case, I ate these anyway since I've bellied many jellys in the past. It's a pretty fun mix. 

Egg Nog: 5 in this bag. OK well, this is bad. It tastes like a perfume or plant food. However I don't really know what eggnog tastes like, so. It might be dead on. Some sour....nog notes. Kinda grows on you. 5/10

Candy Cane: 7 in this bag. This is fully what a candy cane tastes like. Straight up peppermint, almost too strong to enjoy. Impressive. Takes me back to middle school when it was trendy to have strong Happy Bunny peppermints, and boy was I trendy. 8/10

Hot Chocolate: 9 in this bag. We've had this flavor before. It's good. Tastes like chocolate pudding. Malty. 8/10 

Gingerbread: 4 in this bag. Also a little poupourri-esque. A unique bean. Spicy, floral, doesn't have that ginger spice really, but cookie-ish. A little like the Dr. Pepper bean. Reminds me of the legions of Pumpkin Spice flavored confections. 5/10 

Cranberry: 2 in this bag! I thought I'd like it but it's a little generic. Needs more zip. 6/10

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Hot Wheels Jelly Bellys

Something went wrong at the Hot Wheels Jelly Belly Factory, and maybe that's why these were on Max Clearance at the store. Motor oil in the orange bean former, maybe? On a bit of a losing streak with sweets lately, but you're a fool if you think it will deter me! In this bag we have

Cherry: Not my favorite, 5/10
Grape: A strong grape flavor... better than a grape dum-dum at least. 6/10
Lemon: Wonderfully lemony, this one is good 8/10
Blue: This is blue, like blue Kool Aid. Pretty fun 7/10
Orange: This is the real horror. Like rubber bands or vasoline! Coconutty?! Disturbing. Did not eat beyond the first. 2/10

Overall
Cost: 8/10
Taste: 5/10

Jelly Belly - Pumpkin Pie

Real talk, blog fans: I'm so sick of being miserable! I've thrown most of my {brain diet/supplements/unhelpful preventative medication/goals} out the window, which is maybe something I'll regret, but I gave it 4 solid months and in this moment I just want to feel maximal non-despair before I go (which everyone agrees is important for the ultimate goals of improving the world and supporting others!!). 

In service of this mission, I ate about twenty of Jelly Belly's Pumpkin Pie Jelly Bean. This is a jelly bean flavor that needn't exist. Also, a bag with only one flavor of jelly bean is weird and bad. This is a flavor I don't think I've had before. My first reaction was that it tastes a lot like Dr. Pepper, and not just in terms of the "spices" (although there is a spicy vibe -- clove? cinnamon? allspice?), but also it feels fizzy! Like a bottle cap candy but with jelly bean texture. If they called this "Store Brand Cream Soda" I think I would like it more. I guess the flavor is enjoyable, but a bit weird too. The color is pleasing. Would not purchase again, but if this is in a mix of flavors, I would rank it toward the middle. (That is also where I'd rank myself in terms of people, so it's no major insult.)

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10

Jelly Belly Apple Cider Mix

There are many things one could say about America, but I won't say them here. Except that there are a lot of Jelly Belly flavors one can buy, most of which don't currently contain unlabelled toxins and allergens! Nice! This one was on super sale because I guess it's seasonal. It contains two identical (to me with bad vision) red beans: red apple and cinnamon. I think they are in a ratio of 2:1. The idea is, I think, for you to shove the whole bag in your mouth at once and then it's like you're eating spiced apple cider. I love chewy, chewy cider. In all seriousness, those are two solid flavors, both very strong and bright. Good qualities. And not being able to tell them apart is kinda fun. So, this is a good time. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [1$]
Taste: 7/10

Jelly Belly Monster Mash

For reasons that don't need interrogating at this time (no interrogating!), I've been heavily engaging in Unhealthy Consumption. And it's Halloween(ish) so these are a nice seasonal jelly bean which didn't have any forbidden flavors. Unfortunately, they were a little stale/firm and I didn't really love any of the beans in this mash:

Caramel Corn: Tastes basically like the buttered popcorn one, which is a distinct flavor which I don't love.
Green Apple: Really weirdly medicinal, not horrible but not great.
Jewel Grape Soda: I don't know from Jewel; it's grapey but not especially bright or soda-y,
Jewel Orange: Just vaguely orange flavored, but not special.
Wild Blackberry: Generic berry flavor. Fine.

Will this ho-hum experience put me off candy, though? It will not! I hope there are still sales when I go to the store this weekend! 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [2$]
Taste: 6/10

Jelly Belly 40 flavors

My lungs are like cement from mid-March on, and it's really hitting me extra hard this year. I always think "wait... is it covid again?", but no, it is just March. As I await various doctor callbacks, I entertained myself with a new, increased Jelly Bean selection. This seems indistinguishable from the 20 and 30 flavor variety, but somehow there's 40 in here. Honestly, 30 is enough. A lot of these taste (and look!) the same, which is frustrating since I want to know what I'm working with. Anyway, here's my updated 40-flavor ranking, I'll clean it up when I'm dead:

Cappuccino (3 in the bag) - yum, coffee 8/10

tutti frutti - 5 - rating 7? tastes like bubble gum and cotton candy combined. weird

Blueberry (3 of them in the bag): This is a stronger flavor. yes, i get blueberry notes. like blueberry essence/juice more than a berry itself. nice. 7/10 

Bubble gum (6) - Cool taste, but gum shouldn't be swallowed. 7/10

chocolate pudding - 6,  7 tastes like cofe really nice wait jk that was cappucchino??? choc is just ok. no cofe. lol

Berry Blue (8 of them in the bag): Tastes like not much. Vaguely sweet blue flavor, nothing unique here. 6/10

buttered popcorn - (8), 6/10

caramel corn -   6 -     6 - better than butter popcorn but very similar. sweeter and less buttery. orange rather than yellow spots i think

peach - 4- 6 its peach alright





strawberry cheesecake - 7 - rating 8 yum

coconut - 2   , 6






toasted marshmellow - 9  -   7.5 neat



dr pepper - 5    8 delightful, cherry notes
mug root beer - 2- 8 also delightful, just like a coke(?) bottle cap candy which i adore :D

crushed pineapple -  5 -    6 - weird, like pina coldada wait maybe that was
pina colada - 3 - 5 weird. lmao


cotton candy -3 is this strawberry cheesecake!? lol. good tho. 7

french vanilla - 13 - 8 yummy

green apple - 7 - 6.5 okay, appley ig

island punch - 9 - 4 what the hell is this? tastes like blue candy at first but then cursed grapey medicine

juicy pear - 1 - 8 tastes like a real pear

kiwi - 6 - 6 augh, disturbingly roptical. not for me i think. strongly unique tho

mixed berry smoothie - 4- 7 what the hell is THIS? tastes like blueberry smoothie. tru

lemon - 5 - 8 yummy! like a chuckle

lemon lime - 4- 8 also yummy like a chuckle! and a little minty? limey i guess


margarita - 3 - 6 wild! tastes like alc!! ;O

strawberry jam - 6— 7 accurate flavor!!

strawverrt daquiri - 8 - 7 idk if this was jam or s,th else. a little minty??limey? is that normal?? i should sort.

top banana - 6 - 6 brown banana but also migraine/nut feary vibes soooo

oranger sherbet - 5 - 8 yummy

tangerine - 9 - 6 boring, citrusy hgard to tell fromoramfe

orange - 2- 7 a bit better than tang, unless i mixed them up. i’m assuming orange is slightly darker

red apple - 7 - 7.5 a little poupourriry but i like it yum

sizzling cinnamon - 3 - 8 yum its strong! good in modeation only

pomegranite - 3- 6 its fine but not my fav, dagerous vibes

watermelon - 6 - 7 yummy tastes like watermelon candy does

very cherry 3 - indeed it is. medicinal but nice sharp flavor

 
licorice - 9 - can’t eat 0

Sunkist Fruit Gems

Let me be real with you: 2 pounds is a lot of Sunkist Fruit Gems. A serving is only 3 gems (100calos). I don't like these enough for 2 lbs of them. Unfortunately, that is what I have. I foolishly ordered them from a third party amazon seller because I needed to spend a certain amount to get my Gatorades next-day-delivered, but now I'm not sure if the weird soapy chemical taste they have is just how they are or because of storage conditions at Mr Random Amazon Warehouse's place. I don't think it's worth buying a fresh box from Jelly Belly though, because this is a lot. Anyway, the texture is wonderful but the taste is sadly bad/soapy, although still edible in small doses. There's five flavors:

Lemon: My favorite I think, although there are lemon cleaner vibes. Perfect texture, which is fun. 7/10
Lime: This one is like a less good cleaning fluid. Also, weirdly brown/dark color. 6/10
Orange: Ah, orange cleaning fluid. OK, but you really can’t have too many at once of any of these, there's quickly diminishing returns! 6/10
Grapefruit: This one tastes pretty weird, but again, maybe my bag was just mixed with soap or something. A nice sour aftertaste but I don't really like the vibes. 5/10
Raspberry: Sadly also tastes like soap. Really starting to think my package was just stored next to soap??? Otherwise the taste is like sour raspberry juice, which is pretty good. 6/10

Overall, heavy on the soap vibe:
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Jelly Belly 30 Flavors Mix

Apparently I haven't had the 30 flavor mix, only the 20! Exciting! Most of the flavors are winners, and it's very easy to overdo it on eating these. The noticeable new flavors were some soda ones (fun) and banana (gross), plus my old favorites like cinnamon and pear. Below's the revised list ranking, although it might be a little incomplete (I think I'm missing one of the new flavors!)

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

~

Strawberry Cheesecake - accurate! xxx
Sunkist® Lemon - tastes like lemon chuckles!
Sunkist® Tangerine - tastes like orange soda! x
Lemon Lime x
Cappuccino - had this in my 2024 30 flavor pack! tastes like coffee, i love coffee.
Blueberry - tastes like pie filling!
A+W Root Beer xx
Bubble Gum x
Toasted Marshmallow x
Sizzling Cinnamon xx
Orange Sherbet xx
Cotton Candy - Very sweet
Red Apple (?) x
Juicy Pear x
A + W Cream Soda x
Watermelon xx
Chocolate Pudding x
Pomegranate xx
French Vanilla x
Dr Pepper(?) xxxx
Piña Colada
Tutti Frutti - Tastes like Bubble Gum??
Peach x
Caramel Corn xx
Very Cherry xx - a lil medicinal
Coconut x
Buttered Popcorn x
Green Apple - weird. x
Top Banana xx - burnt flavor, a lil nutty!
Licorice - don't know, I'm allergic to licorice! x

Jelly Belly Sours

Hello, Jelly Bean fans ! I have a bad headache today, but I'm pretty sure it isn't from binging Jelly Beans earlier this week. Although I can't rule it out. (I think it's from rain -> my windows don't close -> mold, allergies). 

Anyhow, this only has five flavors in it! I like them all, so it's definitely more consistently good than the 20 flavors mix, but somehow I miss the craziness of So Many Flavors. So I may like the big assortment better for the fun factor. Still, these are very solid. Here's my ranking:

Sour Apple
Sour Orange - tastes just like an orange Tic Tac
Sour Cherry - better than the OG cherry, but still tastes of candy and medicine
Sour Grape - tastes like summer pool day Flintstones push pop... but also, weird
Sour Lemon

Overall
Cost: 6/10 (2$)
Taste: 7/10

Jelly Belly - 20 Flavors

At Walgreens, I thought I should buy some food I can't get online...so I bought Jelly Beans. I know, it doesn't make sense, but I wanted my jelly bean box to be filled. This 20 flavor mix is apparently different from the "assorted flavor" mix. It's pretty good, and peanut free. Here is my flavor ranking from best to worst:

Strawberry Cheesecake - accurate!
Sunkist® Lemon - tastes like lemon chuckles!
Sunkist® Tangerine - tastes like orange soda!
Lemon Lime
Blueberry - tastes like pie filling!
Bubble Gum
Toasted Marshmallow
Sizzling Cinnamon
Orange Sherbet
Cotton Candy - Very sweet
Very Cherry
Juicy Pear
Watermelon
Piña Colada
Tutti Frutti - Tastes like Bubble Gum??
Coconut
Buttered Popcorn
Peach
Green Apple - weird.
Licorice - don't know, i'm allergic to licorice!

Overall
Cost: 6/10 (2$)
Taste: 7/10 (really only like 3 dud flavors!)

Jelly Belly - Buttered Popcorn Jelly Beans

I really support Jelly Belly because they're peanut free now! (And say so!) This is a huge deal for a company to make this choice, especially when they used to have peanut butter flavored jelly beans. So I love that. But this is definitely not my top flavor of jelly belly. I guess the flavor profile is fairly accurate, but it's too sweet (popcorn isn't sweet) and consequently, kind of weird. So props in general but not for this single-flavored bag, which is not fun or very good!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Jelly Belly Assorted Flavors

This was such a tiiiiiny package -- it only had like 7 jelly beans in it! I guess it's a good sign for Jelly Belly that I wanted more, more, more!

There was a time, years ago, when Jelly Belly had a peanut (butter?) flavored jelly bean, and you could make lots of fun fruit combos with it. But somehow an angel fell to Jelly Belly headquarters and made them get rid of it, and now they are a peanut/tree-nut-free facility. How nice. To be honest, I don't like the flavor or texture of these as much as "regular" big grocery store easter jelly beans, but these are fun because there are so many different flavors! They are all just a little too sweet and too chewy to be perfect, but some flavors are really nice. For instance: lemon, pineapple, cherry, root beer, everything that isn't licorice.... So there's fun to be had, picking at random, and no fear! This is a good way to slow down your eating of sweets and really savor the experience, which is just a good habit to get into in general, I guess. So I'm a fan.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10