Prego Parmesan Basil

Occurs to me that there are a lot of sweet things I don't like for being sweet. Maybe I'm internally inconsistent. No, no, couldn't be. Anyway, this is one such. It's also not on the Prego website (aka Campbell's website), so it's probably discontinued, nearly expired, and bad. Furthermore, what IS on the Prego website is a bunch of "protein" pasta sauces loaded with pea protein, which will kill me. This isn't one of those sauces, but the risk of cross-contam or mislabeling is enough to make me hate and fear this, sugar aside. While I'm piling on, it also says "contains 40% daily serving of vegetables", which is so absurd because that can only refer to tomatoes, and as any linguist will tell you, a tomato is not a vegetable. Let's try to ignore all those things for now.

The taste is a little bitter. Like the vomit-flavor of a Hershey bar, so say the haters. I do note the parmesan, but not really the basil. Even among Pregos, it's not a favorite. Plus it's probably heartburn city. Will I finish the jar? Probably. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2.50]
Taste: 5/10 

Ortega Mild Original Taco Sauce

Just like the cheese, I eschew taco sauce on tacos et al. But for you, blog, I es-chewed it. Or es-schlorped it. It was less captivating than the taco cheese. Tastes just like I remember: a tomato-based thin sauce with taco-seasoning-ish vibes. More vinegar than spice. Haven't you people heard of salsa and/or hot sauce!? Anyway, it didn't ruin the taco experience, but I do think it made things slightly worse. Maybe if you have a very dry meal (couldn't be me), then a tiny dab of this would be OK.

Overall
Cost: ?/10
Taste: 5/10 

Prego Meat Sauce

My parents only eat Prego sauce, which now that I'm 20 years removed from eating, I find bafflingly sweet, like when international students eat our bread and go "ugh, why is it like that?????". Well, it's because sugar is delicious and makes you happy. But I get where they're coming from because it's a completely different flavor profile. It's fine, I'm not disgusted by it or anything, but I don't like it on noodle. Like me, though, my parents are extremely set in their branded ways, so I'll save my complaints for this blog. No soy in the "meat" at least. Also no veg. Frankly, this is almost like a completely different product from the pastes and tinctures that I'm used to. Also it gave me a massive stomachache (and I only ate a little bit)!!! But what doesn't, tbh.

Overall
Cost: ?/10, hopefully cheap
Taste: 5/10 

Ragu Kettle Cooked Tomato Basil Sauce

Not bad, Ragu, not bad at all. Or maybe that's mild deprivation talking. But this has no sugar, clean ingredos, no weird texture, no weird taste. Just pleasant herby tomato sauce, with a little garlic but not too much. Not sweet or oniony or anything of note, but made the pasta much tastier than it otherwise would have been. Huzzah.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Ragu Kettle Cooked Roasted Garlic Pasta Sauce

This has no sugar added -- a great quality in a pasta sauce -- but it still tastes a bit sweet to me. The texture is also oddly frothy, like gazpacho! Maybe that's the "kettle" line's bit, I'm not sure. The taste is indeed garliccy, and I like the transparent ingredients (all the spices are listed by name, no nebulous "spices" category), but sadly it's not really doing it for me as a pasta sauce. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Prego Roasted Garlic & Herb (2024)

This had a very savory/dark smell. I guess it's just the garlic! So it smells like the name. It has sugar in, and also GMOs, but supposedly nothing I'm allergic to. Huzzah! The taste was a little nostalgic, because my parents always get Prego, but it's also really sweet and not texturally interesting. Like a pureed tomato soup! It's sweet garlicy tomato, and I enjoyed it in a small portion, but I don't know that this would ever be my go-to sauce. Better than I thought it might be, though. Also lol I apparently already reviewed this in college, and I guess I got Less Picky over time. But the label art is also nicer now, so there!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Ragu Kettle Cooked Marinara Sauce

Growing up, my parents had a strong anti-Ragu prejudice, so I never tried it. They used only Prego, which I see as very similar (sugar added, thin), but whatever! Neither really did it for me. I'm a classico gal now. But this new "Kettle" line has no sugar added, which is promising. Even though marinara flavor bores me, I figured I'd give it a try. Looks pretty allergy-friendly. Tastes like sauce you'd get at a chain restaurant. That is, boring and nothing special. Weirdly thick, but maybe 'cause I added Parmesan, haha. It's fine.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

DeLallo Mushroom Spaghetti Sauce

At this point, my DeLallo allergy phobia is extremely overblown. This is a pasta sauce with no allergens listed, and no reason to think there'd be an issue!! But the combo of past labelling confusion, my neighbor playing the flute during workday hours while I'm trying to work, and my epic 7-day+ sore throat is surely adding to increase my high-strung-ness. Anyhoo. This smells good and has no sugar added. It actually smells cheesy to me, but I think the pure pasta sauces always do. One downside is that the jar is very hard to open, and the lid is too thick to get a can opener around it. I really hurt myself opening this, lol. Otherwise, it's fine. I only got one (very large) mushroom piece in my first serving, and the rest is a very smooth puree texture. Mostly tastes like tomato. Kind of acidic, nothing bad there but not my favorite of all time (even with the anxiety aside, I think). 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

DeLallo Vodka Sauce

On the website this is called "Vodka Sauce Square" and I truly have no idea why. They do make at least two other vodka sauces, but they aren't shape names. Also, unlike the pastas, the pasta sauces don't have the "nut free" etc logos on the website, and they do make nutty pestos, so I'm have a little freakout whenever I eat one of their pasta sauces (foolishly I bought three to go along with the curséd ladyfingers, which aren't updated yet). But I survived this one at least! And it does taste good; creamy like many vodka sauces and cheesy and tomatoey. There are small chunks of tomato and carrot which I like. I have no complaints, other than the shady allergy stuff -- I think other than the pastas, I won't buy any of their other branded things in the future because it's just too uncertain!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Kinder's Dipping Sauce - Creamy Roasted Garlic

Yup, this is creamy roasted garlic sauce alright! Basically similar to the garlic mayo I had before. It's OK. I had it on chicken nuggets which probably isn't the best space for it; I do think it would be better with fries or sweet potato fries. Maybe I should get some since this does last quite a few months in the fridge, which is nice. It did make my face tingly and weird, but what doesn't, you know?

Update: seconds after writing that line I had a panic and/or allergy attack and pounded Benadryl and freaked out. I really have a problem, huh!? But anyways, I don't think I'm gonna have any more of this. Stupid body!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Fear: 9/10

Ray's No Sugar Added Original Barbecue Sauce

Nooooo I bought this without fully internalizing the ingredients, since I only skim for allergens (there are none, unless you count mustard seed) and not SUGAR SUBSTITUTES! Foolishly I assumed "no sugar added" just meant "we didn't put sugar in" and not "we put in some sucrose and allulose instead of cane sugar, enjoy your weird taste and tummy ache hehe". I do not enjoy. In their defense, it smells the same as the Sweet Baby version, and if you had diabetes or whatever, maybe it'd be a good choice. But I do not and I do not want artificial sweeteners in my life. The taste is basically normal at first, but there is a chemically aftertaste that does come across. Weird vibes, man. I may actually just buy another sauce rather than eating this one. Maybe I can give it to my mom! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste; 5/10

Tostitos Toppers Fire Roasted Red Chili Pepper Sauce

This is a solid hot sauce. It was a little bit smoky, maybe, which is a taste of the forbidden (i.e. am I allergic to this?!?!). Very dark color. Decently spicy. OK for eggs, and I haven't tried it on anything else. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Kinder's Mild BBQ sauce

This is good on burgers, which is why I bought it, but I don't love it -- I think Sweet Baby Ray's is superior as a BBQ sauce, for suuuure. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Arby's Sauce

Yes! Yes! I'm what you might call an Arby's Superfan. They're like, the Dunkin of beef. And my favorite Arby's sauce is, uhhh, Arby's sauce. It's a nice ketchup-bbq hybrid. Goes with sandwiches and also sides. A beautiful thing, and not cream based so it doesn't even make you feel physically ill. Therefore, this condiment bottle is great for me, and certainly more convenient than hording a bunch of little packets. It tastes just like the real thing, but I can store it in my fridge without looking like a pervert! God bless, Arby's.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4$]
Taste: 8/10

Inglehoffer Cream Style Horseradish

I was following a recipe that called for "prepared horseradish", and this was the only potential candidate at my store. I still don't know if it was quite what was intended, but it certainly is horseradish and it certainly is prepared. This stuff is strong. It did great in the recipe (a sour-cream horsey sauce) but on its own is too intense to use as a condiment, IMO. (Maybe on a very thick sandwich?). Tastes of horseradish. Big tingles. Luckily, it keeps for a while, so maybe I'll get a chance to use it as a mixer again in the future!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Classico Traditional Pizza Sauce

This was good! You can't tell from the picture, but the jar is cute and little, not like a big pasta sauce jar. I still didn't use it all, of course. It tasted like pizza sauce, not too sweet or weird or anything. Very cool.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Classico Tomato & Basil Sauce

This sauce was so deeply boring to me. Like yes, it's pasta sauce, and I appreciate it not having any sugar, and it's a competent plain red sauce, but I'd much rather have one with spice, or heat, or flavor, or veg, or meat. You know? The comments online are all about this being too sweet, which wasn't my experience. Just too boring.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Classico Four Cheese Sauce (Red)

On the Classico website (very official source), this is one of the highest reviewed red sauces. But it didn't impress-a me much. I thought it was super boring. Yes, you can taste ricotta in there, but it's so smooth and wet and not in a fun way. I want veg! Or meat! A serviceable sauce but I will keep trying other flavors instead.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Classico Florentine Spinach & Cheese Sauce

This is a solid saucer! It's cheesy and also garlicy; tastes a bit like a restaurant sauce, which is fun. It did make me feel a little itchy on first eat, but I think it's just the garlic/tomato and nothing dire. And it's got a veg in it, in theory! Not my #1 favorite of all time, but maybe better than I expected.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Mutti Simply Sugo Sauce - Grilled Vegetables

I only know Mutti from Tomato Paste, so it's no surprise that this sauce tastes a little bit like tomato paste! But, in a good(ish) way -- deep tomato flavor, almost bitterness. Definitely unique among pasta sauces. It's not especially sweet even though sugar is an added ingredient, and there are nice chunks of zucchini and eggplant in there that you can actually taste (therefore I count this as a veg!). I think this is decent, and I like the savory vibe and small jar size. I wish there weren't sugar in it, and the taste isn't exactly what I like, but it's solid and I'd get it again if offered. BTW, "sugo" is Italian for sauce, but I can only read it as "simply sugoi!" which makes me giggle.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10