2021 Binya Station Red Blend

I ordered a Shiraz, and I got a red blend! The world's a mess, man. However, ignoring this, it's a delightfully fruity red blend. Really bright red in flavor (normal wine red in color), like Hawaiian Punch. Juicy. Sweet cherry, with an aftertaste of wine. Holds up. 

I made the pizza pairing (for the Shiraz, anyway), although without the olives and with some kind of weird non-crumbled sausage. But pizza's pizza, right? Well, mostly right. It was OK -- the crust and sauce are always good, but the toppings were a little bit of a dud (which is partly my fault for my bad sausage choice, since I wanted a precooked one for safety and laziness and it tasted like a hot dog). Still, it was easy to make and better than most things.

Overall
Cost: ?/10
Taste: 7/10

Chex Mix Bars - Double Chocolate

Bars are always stressful for me, especially because they usually have a peanut flavor. And there's a peanut chex mix bar flavor! But the ingredients read as safe; there's no warning and GM says they'll use warnings, so I ate it. Then I felt scared, dizzy, lightheaded, etc. But I'm alive. Lol. This also has sorbitol in it, which is a dangerous game, but it's in potatoes and stuff too, so hopefully it's potato level and not sugar-free gummy level. OK, down to business.

The main flavor notes here are chewy sweet rice crisps. It's essentially a rice krispie treat with fake choco on the bottom. That's a decent sweet snack. The corn chex is really not for me, it's like subtle notes of corn chip in my sweet scary treat. The pretzel bits are nice. I love chocolate covered pretzels, and this is like chocolate covered pretzels hidden among some less good (but still fine) bits and bobs. It looks scary too, all brown and crumbled up. But I think it was fine. I bet I'll like the next one I eat much more! 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Perdue Crispy Chicken Strips

Perdon't stop me from my Perdue binge! After delighting in soy-free chicken for weeks, I got a new kind to try. These are bigger, crispy-coated strips, but the ingredients look pretty similar. One annoying thing about these is that the serving size is in ounces, so I don't know how many a serving is. I guessed it was 2, but it might be 1, or more likely something like 1.3. Stupid serving sizes. Anyway, I tried making them in the oven, and I actually took them out 2 minutes early (I mixed up the timer noise with my oven preheat noise (I reject preheating in my life)) but they seemed well-done! Anyway, maybe they could have been even better. But these were solid. My chicken experiments are getting tastier as I go. They have a nice crispy outside, a good amount of breading, and a moist, non-weird chickeny inside. I mean this as a complement: they taste like chicken tenders from a chain restaurant. KFC, even. Now I don't love chicken tenders as a food, so maybe my assessment is skewed, but I really thought these were solid. They were better without a sauce, but maybe I'm just sick of Heinz Hot 57 and I'm thinking about buying a BBQ sauce just to continue my chicken exploits. Primarily with these, maybe. Nice. Filling, too, so 2 is a good serving.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [11$ish]
Taste: 7/10

Abe's mini muffins - Pumpkin Spice

These would be really good with like, a cream cheese frosting! As it stands, they're kind of boring. Needs more of the "spices" maybe. It's pumpkiny, but only just, and not spicy much at all. Reminds me of the pumpkin muffin mix I made at home, which was also fine, and I love safe bakery items, but the taste as it stands doesn't thrill me. It's the potato of muffins. Sorry, abe! I like your other flavors, though!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Raaka Oat Milk

I have one major complaint about this chocolate bar: a serving is one half, but the bar is not scored at the half! It has some kooky diagonal markings, but none of them are close to partitioning one half! Do I need a knife and a ruler for my treat time!? 

Otherwise, I was very pleased to find a safe, nut/soy-free choco. Dark choco isn't my favorite, but this has oat milk, so it was actually quite smooth/melty/soft. Fairly creamy. They said it's got breakfast vibes, and I can see that, although not in a gross way. Just a bit of oat and cinnamon sugar ("maple") vibe, along with chocolate. I like it. Thanks, Raaka.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 (7$ish)
Taste: 7/10

Dunkin' Pumpkin Spice Flavored Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

OK, Dunkin' fans, I have a weird hive on my chest and feel a little woozy, so that might be negatively coloring my review. It's not from this, by the way. Maybe I'm allergic to lamby! Or maybe I'm just stressed. Or I have meat sweats. Who knows with me. Anyway, that's not what you're here for! You're here to hear about Dunkin's Pumpkin spice cold brew. It's not great. There, I said it. I thought I would like it, because I like the sugary drink at Real Dunkin and I even like the sugar-free k-cup from At-Home Dunkin. But this isn't quite like either of those. I mean, it's sugar free all right, but the pumpkin spice flavor is a little different! It tastes more like a pie seasoning -- more allspice/nutmeg/cloves than pumpkin, and therefore more like potpourri, which I don't like even though I like pumpkin pies. I added lots of milk, which helped dim it a little bit, but I think cold foam would be even better. Maybe I should just buy whipped cream. Anyway, it needs something, because right now there's a strong artificial "spice" flavor (even though it's natural flavors and not artificial!!). Too bad because I wanted to like these pricy bottles. They're cute but the packets or even just plain cofe in a k-cup is much better. Woe.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 (10$ ish)
Taste: 5/10

2018 Château Puybarbe LeRoc Bordeaux

This was a pleasant red wine, but unfortunately the cork crumbled to dust, which isn't a great sign. Otherwise, it was a smooth drink, if I strained out all the cork pieces. It felt more like a cab than a merlot -- grapey, not too tart or weird. I'd have rated it higher if not for the cork situation!

The food pairing of Lamb Chops with Garlic & Rosemary Recipe (Lamb Lollipops) was also pretty solid. I actually used lamb loin chops instead because my store is lacking, as we well know, and so I upped the time to 8 min per side, but it came out pretty perfect. A tasty meat meal, quick and easy to prepare, and not burned or raw. A rare win for me and meat cookin', I gotta say. The smoke warning is real, but luckily since it's winter my alarms didn't go crazy. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [20$]
Taste: 6/10

Stouffer’s Bite-Fulls Loaded Tater Tots

These were hard to find! So even though they were like 10 bucks, which is ABSURD, I got 'em. The cooking is the same as for the mac 'n cheese bites, but the filling is supposedly different: potato, cheese (OK that's the same), bacon (also the same) and sour cream (uh, disturbing). The taste is better! The outside is exactly the same taste and texture, but it's nice and firm. The inside is very goopy, but not with noodle, with weird mashy potato with occasional bits of potato firmness and/or onion. The bacon is much less prominent and therefore better here, and the chives are the key component. It's like a mushy breakfast scramble in a tot. Smells fried but it's not crazy bad for you, so I kinda like these. Hehe.

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 7/10

Kernel Season's Sriracha Popcorn Seasoning

I was a little nervous about this, since the ingredients (vinegar, cayenne, garlic, paprika) are very similar to the Very Nasty Chili Garlic Ben's Rice I had last night. Luckily, they aren't similar. This is just hot sauce-y garlic/salt powder that goes nicely with plain or salted popcorn. I feel I shook on a generous amount but it isn't super strong anyway, just a nice bit of heat and flavor. Maybe I should use even more. A little lime flavor, too. It's not life-changing -- you can probably just use hot sauce to the same (wetter) effect -- but it's an improvement on regular popcorn, and it's a cute little mascot. Aye aye, kernal.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Ben's Original Ready Rice Chili Garlic

Yoooo. I like the Spanish rice flavor a lot, and the plain and I think chicken are OK, but this one is not my fav. It's the same easy prep, but the flavor is a little chemically, as another reviewer noted. Even though I don't think there are chemicals/artificial flavors in here?? But it tastes like cleaning fluid or a mechanic's drain tray. A little. I think it might be the chili, or maybe the garlic. There's a spice to it, but also a bad flavor to it. Don't get this. OK, thanks.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 4/10

Eggo Chocolatey Chip Banana Waffles

These are great! I didn't have any syrup but it was actually fine. These are like little banana breads shaped like waffles. Very sweet, good banana flavor, little bits of choco. I like banana flavor as it turns out. I'm not sure if these would even go with syrup as a more traditional waffle, I ate them like hand snacks, but I'll give it a try later! One toasting cycle was fine for these.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 8/10

2022 Atico Cabernet

Whew! This was very intense on first sip. So very puckery. A little bit gamey also. Tart. It mellows out a bit after a while, as they all do, but it's still not my favorite. A bit like fresh cranberries in that way. 

The food pairing of Steak, Potato, and Chorizo Kebabs with Red Pepper Mayo required some ambition (grilling!), but I eventually got it done. A bit like the wine, it was OK, but not my favorite -- I don't like olives, the chorizo was stressful (is it cooked through? who can say, everything's red with paprika!), even the steak was very pink (and chewy) and the whole thing was oily. But I liked the sauce and the steak and potatoes were decent -- at least it smelled good and was a fun family bonding experience (sorta). Haha. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [16$]
Taste: 6/10

Superseedz Dark Chocolate & Sea Salt

These are a fancy seed! You can tell they're premium not only from the black bag but because they have 1/5 fewer seeds than the other normie flavors. In the end, they are pretty similar to the other flavors of seeds -- you really taste the pumpkin seed underneath, but there is a little choco flavor and the salt flavor comes in at the end. I like them the more I eat them. Pretty good sweet little snack!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Waterloo Sparkling Water - Peach

This has a strong "peach ring candy" smell and I guess taste. It's not sweet, but it's also not really artificial (and the only ingredo is "natural flavors", whatever that is), so I think I like it, but I'm not totally sure! It's a strong flavor but I don't really like peach rings? Then again, who really likes any sugar free seltzers?! I'm not sure even if I prefer it to the blackberry lemonade flavor. I think I like that one more, but it's pretty close. Cute can!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Swedish Fish - blue raspberry lemonade

Ahhh. Swedish Fish are just not that good of a candy, OK? There's no flavor that can fix them. Sour Patch Kids are infinitely better. That's the situation. And I have so many of these too!! But it's OK. There are some pros:

-Nut free
-Cute fish shape (that says SWEDISH, double cute)
-Fun blue color
-The idea of a lemonade flavor is nice. A summer seasonal flavor is nice.

Alas, there are cons:

-They're so stale even though they expire months from now.
-Even apart from that, the texture is weird, oily, chewy, and chemical (although less than the red ones)
-The flavor is mainly just "sugar" "swedish fish" and "oil" -- not much lemonade comes out. Maybe a little "blue raspberry", but it's subtle.

If you already like Swedish Fish, then sure, I recommend these, but if you don't (and who could?) then these will probably not change anything for you. Alas. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 (generous tbh)

Mrs Butterworth's EPIC Cinnabon Pancake Kit

Whew. Like the smores flavor, this is like 3000 cals of pancakes and I definitely will not eat them all in time. But it's very easy to make, it only requires water, and makes ~12 big pancakes. I like the flavor better in this kit, because it is cream cheese and cinnamon sugar vibes. Both swirls are good and go well together, and I like that you can swirl the cinnamon into the pancake itself (even though it got a little smooshy). Very cinnamony and bready. Good for a pancake, but pancakes aren't my favorite bread item, you know? Still.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Cocoa Puffs Go Box

Whew. This is so stressful because it looks like R Puffs (I don't want to even spell it out haha) and it also has granola and they make a PB cheerios go box. So many scary things. But the label is so safe (may contain wheat!!) so it is surely safe. And I am alive to write about it. The cocoa puffs tasted a lot better than I remember. Very chocolatey and not stale or gross. Better than the Kit Kat cereal I just had, that's for sure. The cherries are very sweet, but fine and go well with the chocolate flavors here. The granola is different than the usual, I think? It's chocolate flavored but the chocolate is subtle so I didn't like it as much as the honey vanilla granola. Overall this is really tasty though. 

Overall
Cost: 3/10 (Like 8 dollars for a 3 pack, wtf)
Taste: 7/10

Kit Kat cereal

I like KitKats and I like cereal, but this isn't that great (alas). It's kind of like chocolate enjoy life cookies as a crunchy cereal (must be the rosemary). They're very crunchy. They look cute, like little puffy pillows, and the smell is like marshmallow. The taste is mostly "cocoa puff", but unlike everyone who doesn't see a kit kit resemblence, I kind of get it. There's cereal-chocolate flavor, sure, but there's also weird buttery burnt vibes that recall the thin layer of choco in the middle of a kit kat. So I get it, but it's still not my favorite and I would much rather be eating a Kit Kat proper (or Kix cereal). Edible though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Perdue Chicken Breast Tenders

Let me give Perdue diligence to these: I made them in the oven and they did have a nice crisp on the bottom. The shape is good and the resealable bag is good too. It's so hard for me to internalize that something with this taste and texture isn't full of legumes, so I'm still kinda sketched out and therefore I think I like them less than most people do. The texture is kind of weird and unnatural, even though these are "all white meat" it's definitely processed big time. But I'm not allergic, and these are a convenient source of protein ready to be dipped. I do like them more than fries and fry type things, and they're faster to cook too (16min). I guess I'll try the microwave next to see if it's much worse. These are better than the John Soules nugs, but only very slightly. They're quite similar really.

Update: in the microwave, even at the low end of the time range, they were so chewy and spongy and dry and stale and the texture was noticeably bad. Still edible, but the oven is better no doubt.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (8$, I think?)
Taste: 7/10

Dunkin' Cold Brew Concentrate

When I got this I was surprised at how tiny it was! Somehow I was expecting a full size jug, even though this is indeed concentrate. Anyway, this basically tastes like the Dunkin instant coffee packs. I didn't get a "cold brew" vibe, and sadly the soak-packs are much better and smoother than this is. This is very "sweet bean" tasting, if that makes sense. Like carob almost. It's fine, better if you add milk, but nothing special.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Heinz Hot 57 Sauce

This is a stupid name for a sauce. They should call it "Heinz Spicy Meatloaf Sauce" because it tastes exactly like the ketchup-based sauce my mom puts on her meatloaf, just with a lil spicy kick. And it's not bad! I don't really like meatloaf, but it's not down to the sauce. Plus this lasts forever, is relatively low-cal, and would be good with all varieties of beef, I think.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Oreo Mini

I doubled up on flu and covid shots yesterday, and so I'm feeling a bit like garbage today. Is that a good time to eat Oreo Minis? Probably not. But I foolishly didn't buy any soups or noodles or anything sane, and a girl's gotta eat (oreo minis)! I'm surprised I haven't reviewed these already. They taste like an oreo, but small. I think I prefer that they are small because you get to eat like 10 of them instead of 2 big ones. That's more fun. Nothing earth-shattering here, but a solid sweet treat that is ostensibly safe (although the existence of little nutter butters makes me sweaty a little bit).

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Orville Redenbacher's Naturals Simply Salted Popcorn

All these popcorns basically taste the same to me, unless it's like a "MEGA BUTTER DRENCHED" variety. This is on the "healthy vibe" side of things, which I guess I prefer, even if not for taste. But the taste is fine: it tastes like popcorn and salt. I guess I kinda like that there is no weird oily butter "powder" htere. The popcorns are pure white colored, which you rarely see nowadays. I wish there was a little bit less in the bag. Act II really spoiled me for that. But if you're starving, this is a good option, even if it's still too salty for my preference.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Stouffer's Bite-fulls white cheddar & bacon mac bites

The texture of these was good - crispy outside, goopy inside. The taste was overwhelmingly bacon though, and not like "mm fresh breakfast bacon" but more like "frozen meal or soup bacon" which I don't like. The cheese part is good but it'd be so much better without bacon in. Reasonable cook time. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

John Soules Foods Fully Cooked Nuggets

Frankly these are not bad, although I'd never pick chicken nuggets over any other options like burger, hot dog, noodle, salad, etc, a lot of that prejudice probably comes from being a kid and not knowing I was allergic to soy and eating nuggets that made me feel bad inside. These are soy free, but they basically taste like they aren't, which is good and bad I guess. Very processed, and you can microwave them, which is chill. Occasionally there are unchewable little firm bits, which skeeves me out. In the oven, they take much longer, and I'm not sure the payoff is worth it -- they are marginally crispier (but still not at all crispy lol) and drier, which is slightly preferable, so if you aren't in a rush I guess go far it. But it isn't a shocking difference or anything.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Act II Hot & Spicy Popcorn

Is it called Act II because it's for sad singles in their second act of life? I hope so. I love it because each bag is a normal serving size for one human, instead of 3x as much popcorn as I want but I will eat it all regardless. Thank you for your service in portion sizes, Act II. This flavor is also solid. It is hot (but not crazy hot) and a little spicy. It is also quite salty and a little bit fatty/oily. What it is not, crucially, is cheesy or powdery, so this is truly distinct from a cheddar popcorn type, and I think it's superior, too. I could do without the bright orange coloring (from Red 40 I believe) but otherwise, it's a win for me.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Kraft Buffalo Mayo

Hmm. I didn't think I was a mayo person OR a buffalo style person, but this was nice. I put it on chicken nuggets (and I don't consider myself a chicken nugget person) and it was a good, buffalo-wing flavor with also chicken there. Not too warm or creamy or gross, not particularly spicy or vinegary, but a little bit. I enjoyed it! Sadly the bottle is huge, it's like 43 100-cal servings worth, and it expires this month. The burden of buffalo. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Doritos Spicy Nacho Dip

Blerugh. Unlike the Cool Ranch dip, which was much better than I expected, this was worse than I expected and the worse flavor of the two. I thought it'd be like a cheesy dip, like Tostitos Queso, but instead it was very gloopy and artificial, like Tostitos "Nacho Cheese Dip". I saw no real comparison to Doritos here, which is no sweat, but on its own it was very chemical and not food-like. Better after heating, for sure, enough to where I was able to consume it, but not enough to truly enjoy it. There is a good level of heat/spice to this, but nothing else of note. Truly mid.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10