McCormick Smoked Paprika

I think I go through this stuff even faster than salt or pepper or vanilla! That's because it's one of the meat-adjacent seasonings I'm deffo not allergic to, it's pretty cheap, and my migraine recipe lady seems to be obsessed with it (which is fine by me because I like it too). Is it just cooked peppers? I guess so. But it's sweeter than your everyday red pepper seasoning. Also, one time I accidentally used the teaspoon I used for oil in the container and I had to buy a new one. I never used to make stupid mistakes like that before my brain exploded! But at least I remember it now. Lol. Flashbulb memories, am I right?

Overall
Cost: 6/10 
Taste: 6/10

pop tarts pastry bites - frosted cinnamon roll

Can Pop Tarts (Mini edition) fix all of my many problems? Only one way to find out! These are both cute and portable, two valued traits. They have a very weird texture (SOFT), which I guess is why they are "pastry bites" and not just regular bites. Unfortunately, the taste evokes the Apple Jacks pop tarts, even though that badness isn't actually present. Simply the memory of a similar, bad, trait evokes badness. Pretty interesting. Can I logic my way through sense memory? It might take a while, but I bet I can. In that case, these are surprisingly good. Like a pop tart shaped cinnamon roll, truly. You do get the dough, cream cheese, and of course cinnamon. If they were shaped like little cinnamon rolls, they'd be even better (my brain can only do so much). 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

2019 Brandsen Mendoza Malbec

Haha, well. Fancy seeing wine here. It's like I'm a kid again, trying to figure out what a safe tolerance is for me without total disaster. Of course the safest bet in all cases (you hear this, kids?) is abstinence, but like lil George Clooney in Up in the Air (one of my favorite movies idec), most of my happiest memories are when I'm with people alcohol. So the juice is worth the squeeze even though I might screw it up. Also I still have a massive wine backlog to get through and no local friends who drink, so like, needs must.

This one is just OK. Malbecs always smell good, warm and woody, but they also cause me massive reflux (even when I'm not breaking the alco-seal). Nice and bright, not too thick or thin, a little sharp, a little cherry and oak, but very acidic in character even if not in flavor. And I only had a teeny bit! (We're talking 1/4 of the bottle in total; your girl is c a u t i o u s). No food pairing but if I did, some duck would hit the spot. You're welcome, duckies.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [9$]
Taste: 6/10 

spindrift nojito

Me for the last 15 years: I'm in my "drinks" phase.

OK, but, Spindrifts are great. They taste a million times better than the artificially (or "naturally" but essentially artificially) flavored seltzers (la croix, bubly, waterloo), they're way healthier than a juice or a soda (this is 4 calos), they have no alc or caf, and they have cute little names like "nojito". It also makes me think of the 2010s song "Nolita", which I can't remember who sang. Hm. Anyway, if I'm ever a recovering alcoholic, I'll be mainlining these forever. As it stands they are a fun little treat. This has lime and mint, so I was avoiding it previously because mint in a water sounds gross, and then because lime is citrus and contraindicated for migraine. But now we're imbibing moderately, and the exciting mojito flavored canned sparkling juice is pretty great. Way better than mint tea. A pleasant surprise. The flavor is mainly lime. The colors are my favorite and I love stupid blends (word-wise). If I lived closer to my job I'd be bringing these in for events all the time. If I ever get hired permanently, I'm gonna turn all the studos into Spindrifters. You'll see! (Well, you almost certainly won't, but IF I DID, you would see!)

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Skittles Gummies - Fuego

I'm really playing with fuego trying these, because eating spicy food gives very similar physical reactions to eating food you're allergic to (see also a bunch of confused adults realising that bananas et al aren't "spicy" for everyone). Also there's a mango flavor and I'm allergic to mango now (maybe not even as an OAS thing, just as a straight up thing, alas). BUT it's SKITTLES, surely I am not allergic to them (and the mango is just "natural flavors", hardly protein level content). The thing is, these aren't actually skittles or candy, they're freakin' gummies. That's way less delicious. Nevertheless, they are a sensory banquet. The chili powder coating is like a sugar coating in texture (fun), but it does have a nice heat to it (although nothing crazy or leaving you gasping for a drink or anything), especially if you eat a bunch in a row. The flavors are distinct. The gummy texture is kinda firm and not my favorite (I'd much rather a regular skittle), but it's not horrible. 

Mango: Scary but fine. Due to scary, not my favorite flavor anymore, but it does taste like a mango does. Also tastes a bit like a peach gummy, which are meh on their own merits. 5/10

Watermelon: Tasted a little like a bathroom (I do buy watermelon hand soap sometimes, alas), but decent. Classic flavor, and goes well with the chili powder. 6/10

Raspberry: Ew, what happened here? Tastes like a bathroom in a worse way. There's raspberry underneath, but weird toilet spray atop. Maybe this bag was stored next to soap. Alas. 4/10 

Lemon: This is the the best flavor. Lemon candy is always great. Like a spicy chuckle. God bless. 7/10

Strawberry: Nice, kinda like strawberry cream saver. Good bright sweet flavor. 7/10

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3$]
Taste: 6/10 

Dunkin Decaf kcups

Decaf doesn't count as cofe (even though it still has some caf)!! I can have it as much as I want!!! So I decided to try these since the free hotel decaf was surprisingly comforting to me last time I had it. However, this tastes very little like regular dunkin (kcup or otherwise). I guess regular Dunkin tastes like caffeine!? This tastes fine, I guess, like a generic hot earthy drink. Wet wet dirt (neutral). I guess if you dolled it up with creamer or something it might taste more like cofe (TBD?), but plain it really doesn't taste like coffee, it's just hot and dark. Fine qualities, still. Kind of like a different kind of tea. Maybe a dark non-alcoholic beer (lol). Anyway, good experiment, but perhaps not to be repeated. We'll just suffer with our one coffee a day, yeah? 

By the by, as we all know, tariffs and inflation have increased costs of groceries and especially cofe. Luckily this isn't reflected in my local Dunkin (yet), perhaps because they already upped their prices 50 times in the last 10 years. However, it is definitely reflected in my grocery store k-cup prices: they used to be 9$ (sometimes 7-8 on sale) and now they are 13.99!! What!? And online they are 17$!!!! It's almost cheaper to go to actual Dunkin! Is this a sign to go back to the cumbersome and wasteful bagged coffee times? Well, although I have the same amount of job security as ever (none) and no imminent plans to die, I've gotten a lot less thrifty in the last few years, but 10-years-ago me would be in full starvation mode. So I feel really bad for the youth of today just trying to budget but also have a little treat. (Psychology hour: I don't think I'm more fatalistic than I used to be, I just really internalized some "live in the moment" messages from my meditation era, and one consequence is buying a lot of frivolous crap. I think still less than the average bear, although you wouldn't know it from the blog, but nevertheless. The dangerous of mindfulness! (I was not a very good student of mindfulness tbh, but some of it influenced me.))

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 5/10 

Dunkin Smores K-Cups

An annoying consequence of leaving the house a lot (I get dunkin as a reward for leaving the house) and having a sensitive brain (I limit myself to 1 coffee/day) means I rarely have occasion to try Dunkin's at-home products anymore! But this is actually good because most of their products are bad. Sorry Dunks, I still love you. These, for instance, have the same artificial flavor that all of their flavored sugar-free coffees have (cinnamon, pumpkin, etc). The main note is just "chemical". If you really use your palate, you can notice some graham and some marshmallow, but it is extremely backgrounded and not delicious (even if you add milk or whatever). A real whatever the opposite of a slam-dunk is. Almost makes me look forward to leaving the house again (but not quite). 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$]
Taste: 4/10