Life Savers Swirled Lollipops

Surely X will fix me... today, x=candy. I got these because the picture kind of looked like Cream Savers on a stick, which are a great nostalgia item. However, the white swirl is not at all cream, it's some sort of vanilla flavor (or really, neutral flavor). These aren't even made by Life Savers, actually, they're contracted out to Spanglers, who make some allergy friendly things (like Dum Dums) but also some dangerous ones (like Neccos and Bit-O-Honey). The bag reads as safe, though. 

Orange & Vanilla:  I guess the flavor is pretty true to form. Tastes like orange soda mixed with a little cream soda, but as a lollipop. It's fine, big and flat, but it didn't fix me. 6/10

Blueberry & Vanilla:  This one might be fixing me. It's better, like a nice blueberry flavored dessert (a Dunkin' Blueberry even). Kind of weird notes for a lollipop. But I like it. 7/10

Strawberry & Vanilla:  Ehh. Not fixing me. The worst flavor, I think, although it is fine. Tastes like a low-quality strawberry candy (which, lo and behold, it is!). 6/10

Cherry & Vanilla:  Maybe a fixer. I always like cherry lollipops. Nice bright flavor. Also some weird notes. This vanilla part really isn't adding much. Ah well. Easter, what can you do, right? 7/10

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (I don't actually remember, which means it was probably cheap)
Taste: 6/10

2020 Ravelston Cabernet

Insane day. I found out during a routine meeting that my bosses are planning to close down the department I work in. So, I've unironically turned to the bottle. Was that wise? Surely not. But I don't regret it.... I love you, the bottle. Or at least, this bottle.

Actually, on first sip, this tasted rotten - as if it'd gone off. Not as good as their '22 cab, or so I thought. But if you let it sit! Oh! It improves so quickly. Pretty thick, not too tanniny, pleasant fruity/plummy notes. It's a grower. A breather. A good omen, perhaps. Breathe with me, blog fans.....................

 

Overall 
Cost: 6/10 [9$!]
Taste: 7/10
 

Pop Tarts - Frosted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

She's back, and more disgusting than ever~! No, not me, these pop tarts. One of my greatest struggles is pounding ~1000 calos in the 12-16 frantic hours I spend out of the house away from Any Buyable Safe Food on school days, and pumpkin seeds and pretzels haven't been cutting it lately. Pop Tarts are a great portable calorie bomb, but they are far from great. Especially this flavor, back for the war. It's particularly sweet, even among pop tarts, which is really saying something. There's also a strange little artificial flavor - although not as egregious as some (the cinnamon ones and girl scout ones, mainly), more like "foot" than "chemical spill". I feel it is worse than the first time this flavor existed. Less cookie dough, more "odd sweet wheat mush (sweaty)". Ew. But in the moment it did serve its purpose of filling the void in my awkward 2 minutes of eating while people watch me eating. Thanks for that, pop tart. And no allergens! Woo! Although this box is a lil bit Reese's coded...

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 

Fiji Water

One of my favorite college sports cheers: over-rated 👏👏👏👏👏

Fiji is where Survivor is now, and that's overrated too. The bottle is cute. Fiji seems beautiful. I read a long article recently about the inability to deal with pollution on Fiji, mainly from cans and bottles, so that's not helping matters (but Fiji water is also a huge part of their economy, so, ehhhh). Anyway this tastes like water. It's a little basic (like, not acidic), which I guess is better tasting than the opposite. Very thick. Very soft. You wouldn't want to shower in Fiji water. I guess I'm used to being pelted with firm, tangy metals, both in my mouth and shower. It tastes fine and I like water, the reason it's overrated is that it's like 3 bucks for a 1 liter bottle of water, and there is free water in my place of employment. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [2$, I rounded up OK?]
Taste: 6/10 

McCormick Garlic Powder

Out of actual food to review... back to the spice cabinet!

This is garlic powder. It is in a lot of (savory) recipes, like pasta and meat. It is more convenient than garlic, but not as delicious. A little goes a lot way. My store was out of the normal size so I got this giant size instead. The holes are way bigger so I will probably use it equally fast because of repeated "oh no that's way too much" instances. (In terms of taste it's not too much, but in terms of heartburn, you bet your bippy it is!) 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Undercover Chocolate Quinoa Crisps - Dark Chocolate + Blueberries

And with this, I've finally finished my "trendy nut free snack" excursion (for the time being)! These are pretty different from the cherry ones in that you can't perceive the blueberries at all. They are texturally indistinguishable from the plain dark choco ones (a plus), but without the sea salt (a minus, it turns out). I guess there is a mild blueberry flavor, but if I weren't looking for it, I'd probably just think it's the fruity notes of the choco. So perhaps my ranking is: milk > salt > blueb > cherry. (Whereas my non-Undercover ranking is probably the exact opposite!!) 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Stouffer's Sides - Cheddar Bacon Potatoes

The idea of this doesn't appeal to me overmuch, but that's probably because most "bacon" of this type is just soy protein. According to the ingredos, this product is soy free, and it's just normie bacon in there. This is also a brick of 4.5 servings (to that I say: lol, but it is probably 2-3). The reviews are weirdly high. You cook it in the microwave, so you know it's haute cuisine. 

The taste is mainly breadcrumb, which is fine, I like breadcrumb. Some small bacos, some cheese crust, and yeah, theoretically, potato cubes. High goop factor. I don't know if it's worth raving about, but it's unobjectionable. I wouldn't serve it at a party but I'd eat it. 

Overall
Cost: 3/10 [8$]
Taste: 6/10 

New York Bakery Texas Toast - Original

Some of my best friends are ready in 4-10 minutes! I haven't had garlic bread in forever, for various reasons. But a wee slice of this was nice. Not as nice as a cheesy one, or, dare I say, a regular french bread loaf, but we can't be too picky, can we? I continue to appreciate the twistie-tied bag that allows for 1-slice servings. It is garlic bread, with all that entails.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Oat Haus Cookie Dough Granola Butter

Whew, it's a good thing I had the darker Red Velvet flavor first, because this is a VERY SCARY tan color. But it's safe....it's safe...

I like cookie dough more than red velvet cake, so I also prefer this flavor. The texture is still very gritty, although this one was more liquidy and less stiff. It does have a cookie dough flavor, but with some added "oil and oats" notes, which makes sense because those things are in it and wheat flour and eggs(?) and butter(?) aren't. In college my besties and I used to buy a tube of Pillsbury cookie dough from TroGro (now a Starbucks, one of many tragedies occurring at my once beloved alma mater) and just eat it. Those were the days. But that tube dough was much tastier than this jar dough. Perhaps if I'd never had the tube dough, I'd rate it higher. Or perhaps if I were eating eat out of this jar with three age-matched peers who indulged my no-double-dipping request. Really makes you think.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10 

Eggo Buttermilk Pancakes

You may know I have about 5 food-related complaints of late, and one of them is that they simply stopped making frozen French Toast. Nowhere to be seen! Well, it turns out the same is true of frozen pancakes, except waffle-makers Eggo have stepped in there (before or after the end of Frozen Pancake, I don't know). Who used to make them? I think Pillsbury, maybe the company now known as Pearl Milling Company, maybe someone I'm forgetting? Anyway, now Eggo is all there is. But that's fine, you say, they're Kellogg's, that's all fine. Ah! But! Another top complaint is that everyone is adding PEA PROTEIN to everything, and so too are Eggo's frozen pancakes PROTEINIFIED with LEGUME!! Not these, but almost every other one is. It seems rife for cross-contam issues, especially since it's not even a Top 9 Allergen (Y E T). So I can't enjoy these in peace. Also, they taste very mid. And they squash together in a mush when you cook them. But as a vessel for butter/toppings I guess they do the job. Always my least favorite of the big 3 frozen breakfast breads, anyway.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Undercover Chocolate Quinoa Crisps - Milk Chocolate

Finally, the answer to that age old question: what's more delicious, salt, cherries, or milk? Shockingly, the answer is still salt. I would have thought milk choco would win over dark 100% of the time, but I guess with quinoa in the picture, that is false. These are fine, but rather than tasting like milk chocolate, they mostly taste like watery quinoa. No, I will not elaborate further. It is still a pleasant snack, but for the nutrition on these guys I'd rather have a cookie. Or chocolate proper. I guess it is marginally approximating a Crunch Bar/Krackel (is that how you spell it?) but it's been like, 25 years since I've had one, so I can't be sure.

Update: upon reflection, I miss Crunch Bar/Krackel very much, so maybe that notches these above Salt, actually. [In a "hug your loved ones while you can" voice:] eat delicious candies while you can, blog fans!!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 
Memories of Crunch Bar and/or Krackel: 9/10

Dunkin' Mint Chip K-Cups

My favorite ice cream flavor and my favorite big box coffee brand, together at last! What could go wrong? Well, as always, it's the artificial flavor of it all. I think I could ID artificial flavor like a medical alert dog and I'm not even joking. That said, this is pretty good for what it is. The smell is great, and the flavor is good enough to almost begin to compensate for the horrible artificiality. More chocolate than mint, honestly. It smells just like a cacao roller :9

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Guittard 63% Extra Dark Chocolate Chips

OK, but like, I'm being so for real when I say that 63% IS NOT EXTRA DARK!!! Guittard doesn't know the meaning of "extra", it is clear to me now. Extra clear. Extra dark would be like, 76% minimum. I do like that the darkest bag is red, though. That feels right. If it were 90% we'd be getting somewhere. Not that I even like dark chocolate much, but if we're going bitter we might as well go (genuinely) extra, yeah? 

Anyway, these taste a little darker than the pink ones, but not significantly so. Which again makes sense given the percentage. You might wonder why I have all these Guittard dark chocos, then. The reason is that I needed white chocolate for baking, they're the only ones with safe white choco, and they have an order minimum for free shipping (and I didn't want to order a dozen bags of white choco, even though that would be smart to do, because a summer rat would probably get into my choco hoard and then I'd be depressed). 

 A fine choco. Probably my least favorite, which tracks. I trust the percentage if not the modifier.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Undercover Dark Chocolate + Cherries Quinoa Crisps

Time to answer the age old question: which is more delicious, sea salt or cherries? Against all odds, the answer when it comes to Undercover Snacking is: sea salt. These still mostly taste like dark chocolate, and have a fun quinoa crunch, but they also have raisin-like blobs of cherry throughout, which is a textural displeasure. There is a very mild dried cherry taste, but it doesn't add anything. Too bad. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Les Fermes Roger Gariepy & Fils Carot(te)s

Mon dieu. Just when you think there can't possibly be any more Canadian carrots you haven't tried, Roger Gariepy (& Fils) bust into your local veg box. Mais, these are actually a notch above the other carrots I've had lately. You get a ton in the bag, and they're fairly skinny, which means they're good for a single-serve dinner and also aren't all dry and weathered. J'adore les carottes. Tout le monde aime les carottes canadiennes! À bientôt!

Globalement
Coût: 6/10
Goût: 6/10

Guittard 46% Semisweet Chocolate Chips

I should be able to tell that these are less semisweet (lol) than the 55% pink ones, and therefore more fully sweet, but they actually taste the opposite. Maybe I don't understand the chocolate world like I thought I did. I just had a sudden flashback to a girl in my freshman seminar in college bragging about how she was heir to the Scharffenberger fortune, and that they had REAL chocolate, unlike Hershey (with a pointed stare at me, Hershey Girl). I'm no Hershey defender (other than their allergy policy), and I understand the chocolate politics that made her hate me, but that girl was a major snoot. I ranted about it to my parents and they were like, "well, but you can see why she said that." Yes, parents!! Of course!! Anyway, all political discourse is kind of like that for me.

Where was I? Having another 2 Tbsp of wine? No, actually. Not much else to talk about here, though. I like the orange bag. These are a good quality dark choco, and taste very deep and not at all bitter. What is the other 64%? It's sugar. And yet, you can't really taste it. Which is good and bad, I suppose. Lost in the dark depths of the milky (yet vegan) choco. Impressive stuff, Guittard. I bet the heirs to the Guittard fortune are way friendlier. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [11$ish]
Taste: 6/10  

2022 New World Syrah

It's really unfortunate that both of my jobs require me to be hyperaware of "the culture" (i.e. the ways people use words in media and conversation) and how it's moving on without me. That is only tangentially related to this wine, but now I'm of the age where 2Tbsp of wine make me philosophical. Very economical. Anyway, it's spring break, so I can imbibe in 2Tbsp of wine. This wine isn't that good tasting. It also made my face very red. Stupid wine. They say it's juicy, spicy, and easy to drink, and arguably just the first two points are accurate. A lot of tannins, though it is bright. More earthy than jammy, but a little jammy. Would definitely go with red meat, but I haven't had red meat in like, 2.5 years now. By philosophical, I may have meant "depressed". Hmm. The power of wine!

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [8$!]
Taste: 5/10 

Oat Haus Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Granola

When it rains, it pours! But this is just unambiguously* good. No weird texture issues; the texture is that of granola and the taste is exactly that of chocolate chip banana bread + granola. A lot of companies start out nut free and then pivot (Built Bars, MadeGood, Brownie Brittle) so I hope that doesn't happen here, because I will actually buy this regularly. It's just oats/quinoa/tapioca/dark choco/banana flavor. Banana is having a moment right now, also. Check out Dunkin's new banana cold foam and syrup! (This is a note to me, primarily, since I can't eat fresh banana due to O-A-S but I do really love banana.)]

*Oop, hold on, there is a weird little aftertaste. A bit artificial. But not too strong... just ignore it... 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$ish? but it's 10 servings!]
Taste: 7/10 

Oat Haus Red Velvet Granola Butter

Granola Butter? What will they think of next!? OK, so apparently this was on Shark Tank (never watched it), and the owner is big on TikTok (never used it), and that tracks to me because the name "oat haus" is right in that annoying hipster space. (It used to be called something even worse, though, so we're getting there). Anyway, I saw this in a store and thought "nut free, eh?" so I got it because I will eat pretty much anything I'm not allergic to, as you've no doubt observed. I have never wanted a peanut butter replacement, since I've never wanted peanut butter, and in fact the idea is actively repulsive to me. But I do like granola, butter, and cakes, so I wasn't sure how it'd go. 

It went....eh. The appearance is pretty nasty -- mud would be generous. I wasn't expecting little white choco chips in there. It's a lot like gritty, slightly whipped chocolate frosting. I do get red velvet cake vibes, so they did a good job flavor matching. I like that you can keep it in the cupboard even after it's open. I must say, my first reaction was disappointment and mild disgust (at the texture, which I imagine is way grittier than any nut butter (??)), but as is so often the case, the more I ate it, the more I got into it. It is extremely fatty, so that makes sense. It's also sweet, but not quite icing sweet, which is a plus. I'm open to receiving more of what "Oat Haus" has to Auffer me. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$!]
Taste: 6/10 

Two-Bite Filled Carrot Cake Cupcakes

I am a fool to keep buying these. Stick with the original! All these filled cupcakes are bad! Nut free carrot cake product was just too tempting to pass up, though. But I should have passed up. The one upside is, they are slightly less sweet tasting than the last kind (although I suspect nutritionally identical), and the texture is good. There are also actual carrot fragments in the cake (or at least some orange shreddy bit, lol), which I appreciate. But the taste is quite bad. Not cake, not carrot, not sugar, not cream cheese, not vanilla, I don't know what it is but it's not a treat. Tragic stuff really.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [5.50]
Taste: 5/10 

Undercover Dark Chocolate + Sea Salt Quinoa Crisps

These are very trendy in the nut-allergy social media space (lol), to the point where they're even being offered on flights (c.f. other delightful nut free snacks that have become similarly popular, like biscoff cookies, stroopwafels, and... pretzels). So I finally checked 'em out. Quinoa is a nice allergy-free grain with a good cronch, chocolate and salt are always delicious, so it's a tasty sweet treat. It's definitely more dark choco than quinoa, but the shape/airiness is fun (like a rice krispie treat x non-pareil hybrid), and there's no legumes. Flavorwise this flavor at least is really nothing new, but if you want a little cronch in your salty pre-portioned dark choco, it's a good option. I will try the other varieties because I want to support such endeavors!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [6$ish]
Taste: 7/10 

McCormick Cream of Tartar

A pretty unappealing name, but appealing as a baking aid to tart-en things up a bit. It's an acid that comes from winemaking, so we have no choice but to celebrate it. I'm tempted to taste a little, un-baked, but that way lies madness, plus what if it's like flour and could be toxic? So we don't really know how it tastes, but it does the job in blondies, etc.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5.50$]
Taste: 5/10 

Signature Select Whole White Mushrooms

So, these were a little bit weird. They are bigger than the whole bella mushrooms, which is good because it's less work to clean & stuff them.  I think you get about 16 as opposed to 24 (which ended up being 14, since I lost 2 to molding). They're easier to see dirt on, which makes them harder to clean therefore. The taste was fine, but the texture was problematic, as they had a stretchy(?) membrane(?) on the top of each cap. What the hell is that?? Like eating a steak. Maybe I got a slightly old batch, but otherwise, back to bella we shall go.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Texture: 2/10 

Guittard Akoma Extra Semisweet Chips

 

It occurs to me that I can make my own chocolate candies and choco pretzels, if I can use nut-free Guittard! Soon I'll have time... until then, I'm noshing on these dark choco chips. They're the small size (i.e. regular chocolate chip size) and would be so good in a banana bar. 

According to Guittard, "Akoma means “heart" in Adinkra, the symbol-based language of the Ashanti people native to modern-day Ghana". More Ghana lore for you. Except Adinkra isn't really a LANGUAGE, chocolate company (although it is very cool). There's something kind of interesting about the choco/coffee naming practices Western companies use, like the more local/specific you get with your branding the more posh (bc foreign? authentic?) your product is. No Akoma Hershey Kiss, you know? But the pink package is pretty. So. These taste like very good dark choco. Not too bitter. Dairy free for my dear dairy allergy friends out there. 9 servings. Good. If I had a heart, it'd be a little fuller. 

One more thing: what in the heck is "extra semiweet"? I genuinely don't know if it's extra-semi or extra-sweet. I guess extra-sweet given the world knowledge that the dark choco snobs stick to 80+%, and this is pretty sweet for dark choco therefore, but I wouldn't say EXTRA in any particular direction. Very odd little modifier. And it's not extra chips, either!! 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [10$ish]
Taste: 6/10 

Ocean Spray Cran x Watermelon Juice

Hmm. This has sugar added, but sometimes a sweet drink is OK. Unfortunately, I'm just not in the mood for it. I think watermelon juice on its own (which is really fun and good and probably goes with sugar) or cranberry juice on its own (which I wish to be unsweet) would both be better than this slightly bitter watermelon combo. At least it is just a small bottle, 100 calos and a little snack. Less sugar than a smaller martinelli apple juice, even! But at the same time, it's giving liquid medicine if you mouth-squint. So. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Family Brand Carrots

If they ever make an AI of me, I assume it will just review different brands of Canadian carrots. Here's yet another one. Family brand is not a great name. If one person can be a family, which I have to assume they can, then isn't every brand a family brand? Anyway, these tasted like carrots. 5 in a bag, no issues. I don't have any other food because it snowed again and the state was on Driving Restriction. Alas. Maybe next week. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Prego Parmesan Basil

Occurs to me that there are a lot of sweet things I don't like for being sweet. Maybe I'm internally inconsistent. No, no, couldn't be. Anyway, this is one such. It's also not on the Prego website (aka Campbell's website), so it's probably discontinued, nearly expired, and bad. Furthermore, what IS on the Prego website is a bunch of "protein" pasta sauces loaded with pea protein, which will kill me. This isn't one of those sauces, but the risk of cross-contam or mislabeling is enough to make me hate and fear this, sugar aside. While I'm piling on, it also says "contains 40% daily serving of vegetables", which is so absurd because that can only refer to tomatoes, and as any linguist will tell you, a tomato is not a vegetable. Let's try to ignore all those things for now.

The taste is a little bitter. Like the vomit-flavor of a Hershey bar, so say the haters. I do note the parmesan, but not really the basil. Even among Pregos, it's not a favorite. Plus it's probably heartburn city. Will I finish the jar? Probably. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2.50]
Taste: 5/10 

McCormick Poultry Seasoning

Don't mind me, just making some Monday night stuffing balls on account of every holiday ever happening this week. It turns out poultry seasoning is just: Thyme, Sage, Marjoram, Rosemary, Black Pepper, and Nutmeg. I could have made my own poultry seasoning. But I don't know the secret ratios.... that's how they get you buying. 

Anyway, it tastes good. Like stuffing balls ought to taste. Cheers to me. Would season again.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5$ish]
Taste: 7/10 

two-bite filled red velvet cupcakes

Early Happy Valentine's to me! (and you, I suppose). Time to celebrate with these Canadian nut-free cupcakes. Sadly they are one of the most toxic edibles around in terms of the ingredos (artificial, red 40, intense fat/sugar content), but may I repeat: nut-free cupcakes. I wasn't sure what "filled" would mean, but it turns out there is a little blop of frosting on the inside, like a Twinkie! (or ho-ho? whatever the chocolate twinkie equivalent is, IDK, that segment of the market is closed to me). Honestly the taste is kinda overwhelming/weird/not great?? Two-bites is too few to really figure out the components. Let's try to break it down:

Top frosting: supposedly cream cheese frosting, but tastes exactly like the extremely sweet vanilla frosting they always have on these things (or on a store bought cake, etc). Very very sweet, too sweet, but OK in tiny amounts. There is also red sugary sprinkle stuff on top, which is cute and I think just powdered sugar. Ah, there is the tiniest tangy note at the end, so it really is cream cheese flavored, but it's like, the vitamin water of cream cheese flavor. I would think there was something slightly expired about it if I didn't know it was cream cheese. 

Cakey bit: Yes, it is red velvet color (dark red), and very moist. Also very sweet. Basically chocolate flavor, but slightly black forest-y. But also was too sweet. Might be okay on its own though.

Inner frosting pocket: I think it's just the same as the top frosting but it's honestly impossible to tell. Too soft/small of a cakey to be sure. Like trying to taste fig newton filling without the outside bit (impossible).

My general assessment is just: these are way too sweet!!! If you crushed up one of these and blended it into unsweetened frozen yogurt or something, it'd still make a crazy sweet dessert. (Would like to try that though. I miss froyo. sniffle.) And I like very sweet things, a lot!!  But somehow the attempt at complexity in flavor & design makes the sugar content more egregious, I guess. Still I do like that they're making different flavors and stuff. The more nut-free desserts the better, it's just, I wish they were better. Ah well. Keep at it, Canada! And send us your nut-free Mars bars while you're at it!! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5.50$ish?]
Taste: 6/10 

McCormick Rubbed Sage

I like my sage like I like my elbows... rubbed. This is an odd duck. Of course there was no reasonable fresh sage at the store, so I resorted to the dried version, of which you can get ground or rubbed. No leaf. Why no leaf? They have other herb leaf (dried). Mysterious. I guess the rubbing releases the flavors.  I used about one tsp of this in my good ol' pumpkin pasta, and it was as if I used nothing at all. Needs more rubbing! No allergy or freshness complaints, though. Smells like sage. Sage is a medium good herb. All is well.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [8$ish, but a BTGOF sale also]
Taste: 6/10 

Boursin Basil & Chive

After so many mid-to-good recipes with the very-meh-on-its-own boursin garlic & herbs, I finally decided to try a different boursin (in more stuffed mushrooms #inmymushroomera)! But even though basil and garlic are very different tastes outside of a boursin blop, in boursin these flavors were near indistinguishable. The "cheese" (such as it is) is just very overpowering. I don't like it that much, but it's in so many of my brain-diet recipes that I may as well alternate between the boursin flavors until I develop a discerning enough palate to prefer one. Actually, this one is slightly better to me -- slightly more herb flavor, slightly brighter -- but that might just be the novelty of it. As of now this is my mild favorite between the two. Bore-sin!

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [7$!!!!]
Taste: 6/10 

Pepperidge Farm Chessmen - Cinnamon Sugar

It's raining (chess)men! Hallelujah? I wouldn't go that far. These are striking in appearance, a very bright orange buttery top not represented by the packaging. The taste is identical to my grandma's cinnamon log cookies (something like these, I think), which were always my least favorite holiday cookie (but still delicious). More dense and gritty cookie than a shortbread (or than the other chessmen), so at least it's unique. I guess that's down to cinnamon+molasses, plus less butter/shortening(?). It's less delicious than the other chessmen, because butter > cinnamon, but if you like a cinnamon dessert, this is a great iteration of it. Plus there is still a nice buttery undertone, and a mild cronchiness. Less good than the OGs, though, for me. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Guittard Choc-Au-Lait Baking Chips

Choc-au-lait is a silly name, played very seriously here. Two thumbs up. Yes, I really went deep into my baking chocolate stores when I was snowed in, and now they're fully depleted. But I actually did bake with these (in addition to eating some as a wee snack, of course)! They taste a lot like the outside of a Hug, which isn't the greatest tasting white chocolate (maybe there really is no great tasting white chocolate and my childhood memories aren't to be trusted?) but did grow on me. Most importantly, these are white chocolate chips that are safe! (Allergy-wise and brain diet wise, if we still cared about that last thing). They're a small size, like a normal chocolate chip (serving size=30), which is notable because the Guittard milk choco chips are like twice as big as these (serving size=12). The small size is less fun but probably better for melting, baking, etc. Overall I am not blown away with delight, but these are the only nut-free white chocolate chips I know of, so they are very important nevertheless.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [~15$]
Taste: 7/10
Market importance: 10/10 

Pepperidge Farm Salted Caramel Chessmen

Breaking news: I've finally left my house. Just in time for these New Cookies! There's also a new pecan flavor (which contains soy protein and "pecan distillate"), but this flavor seems to be safe from both of those evils. Honestly their allergy labelling is not so hot, but, I've been eating their cookies for so long that I'm like "surely it's fine". Plus they taste good. 

Well, I don't know that there was anything wrong with regular ol' chessmen (chesspeople), but these do indeed add an additional level of salty, buttery caramel coating. Both as a top glaze and as little speckles in the cookie itself. It's good, and increases the textural diversity (the caramel speckle parts are extra cronchy), but it's really not too different from the original flavor. I guess I prefer this version, but it's a very close call!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Sauder's Free Range Large Brown Eggs

Whew, things are bad over here, y'all. But these eggs are OK. Honestly they aren't as good as my usual white eggs, because those were jumbo and these are large and it turns out that large is actually small and jumbo is actually large. Starbucks-ass egg sizing!! Older hens lay larger eggs, so maybe there's a baby boom among chickens, which I guess is good. That's probably what's going on. No questions, please. 

But I digress. These are free range, which is good. Apart from being weirdly small, and brown, they also have thinner shells than I'm used to, with some red specks inside of unknown origin. Are they chicken parts?? Wee feet?? Blood?? Best not to think about such things. They taste fine. Only one was cracked. No complaints, because large is actually fine if you eat 2. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [4$]
Taste: 6/10 

Filippo Berio Olive Oil

I found some unreviewed oil! It's a Tree New Year miracle! :p 

This is what I use for pasta. I used to not, because I had it ingrained in me that you can't cook with olive oil at high temps. But it turns out that's mostly EVOO and mostly at temps higher than what we're dealing with in the noodle realm. Anyway, it's certainly more appropriate for the noodle/veg/chicken life than canola oil is (which is more of a stir-fry oil imo). It lasts a long time and I usually ALMOST finish it when it expires, but not quite. Good ol' oil. I don't really like the taste or feel of it, but without it things are intolerably dry! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 
Taste: 5/10 

Guittard Milk Chocolate Chips

Having blown through my stores of rice, pasta, veg, coffee, and snacks, I've resorted to snacking on these 15$ nut-free baking chocolate chips. It occurs to me maybe I ought to have just baked something instead (lol). Anyway, the upside is that these are great, which is why they're worth the 15$ and shipping. About twice as a big as a normal chocolate chip (or half the size of a Hershey kiss), and a pleasant milky taste. If only there were a cheapo allergy-free brand, but at least I'm living in the lap of luxury (in the realm of baking)!

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [15$ plus shipping because you know Acme could never]
Taste: 7/10 

ma ma mia produce - Grape Tomatoes

So many tomato producers out there! Here's another one. I was confused about the spacing of the name, and refused to research it out of annoyance. That's where we are after not leaving the house for 8 days! A few were a lil wrinkly, but overall they were fine, both in taste and hardiness. Pretty girthy for grape tomatoes. Enjoyed them in both rice and noodle. Hang in there, frozen blog fans!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Wandering Bear Vanilla Cold Brew

I'm trapped in my house once again! 2020 flashbacks. Anyway, at least I have this cute bear-themed cold brew. It's just ("natural") vanilla flavor, no sugar/milk, which I appreciate. Quite bitter/strong, all told. The vanilla is subtle, which is good. The packaging and company are good. The taste is just OK. I don't really like vanilla flavor in drinks, I guess. It's better with milk added, but I don't have any milk right now!! A good zip and lasts a long time. I prefer the unflavored one, but I'd get this again if it's offered in the veg box. (Coffee isn't really a veg, and you know it's not local (it's Canadian! ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ), but I like that it's there anyway.)

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [14$ for 5 servings, hm. maybe not that good, but coffee's doubled in price everywhere this year! on par with last year's Dunks, I think]
Taste: 6/10 

Signature Select Whole Baby Bella Mushrooms

[Whole baby] bella mushrooms! And beautiful they are. Actually, I was worried they had gone off because they were a little slimy and a little brown/white mystery mold crust-y, but your girl was ready to take a gamble right before the whole state shuts down for a week+ due to weather. A gamble on stuffed mushrooms. I actually wanted way bigger mushrooms, and white-not-bella-which-is-also-white-but-not-really, but these turned out to work just fine. In 20oz ("family size"... a mockery) you get 26 mushrooms, which just about fills a baking sheet. Mostly the same size...ish. I like mushrooms even though they aren't a veg, protein, or a fiber. They just are. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Haribo Frogs

Save me, frog gummy! These were a gift from my bff Mimi. They are super cute and a serving is 6. I love frogs. However they are peach flavored. That's messed up. Frogs aren't peach flavored! I don't really like peach ring type gummy, but it is better as a small frog. Mid-tier haribo. Top tier shape.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Ocean Spray Craisins (The Original)

These are cute! Good for baking, snacking, etc. The bag says "Peanut Free" which we love. Also "no need to refrigerate once open", the transparency of which we also love. Of course, all the other fun styles of dried fruit, even from Ocean Spray, are may-contain city, but at least the OG remains accessible. Something I lament about the OG, though, is that there's sooooooo much sugar added (like 50% DV in 1/4 cup). We all know I love sweets, but fruit is already sweet!! The tartness is the whole point of cranberry, let me experience it!!! Alas, I gotta buy fresh cranberries in the 2 week window they're available if I want to experience actual cranberry. But these are still very fun and tasty, just a totally different thing. Craisins is a good name because raisins are hardly fruit anymore and we accept that. Yes we do.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Stouffer's Extra Cheese French Bread Pizza

Hmm, I didn't realise this is different than just "cheese" but apparently it is, at least in terms of packaging/nutrition info. I don't think they make non-extra cheese anymore though. Anyway, this is fine. Very similar to the other FBPs, but less interesting, and indeed, yes, with more cheese. More rectangular and less U-shaped, also, which is a plus for me. Not much to add here today folks.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5$ish]
Taste: 7/10 

Pop Tarts - Cherry

Most pop tarts are like happy families (all the same). Not very interesting, a little bit disgusting, but good in a pinch. I think these are a bit below the other fruit flavors (blueberry, strawberry, etc). But you know what you're signing up for here. Sometimes there is no other safe way to easily consume 370 carbocalos, and that's OK. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Kleinpeter 2% Milk - Quart

This quart is so cute. It fit right in a mini-fridge and lasted exactly 4 days. You never know what you're gonna get with store brand milks (especially gas station milks), but this one was maximally unproblematic. I wish Lucerne quarts came in this lovely shape! Good for cofe, cereal, and... those are pretty much all I used it for. And it was good. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Easy Eggs

This 2 pack of small, kinda warm, kinda wet hard boiled eggs was just what the doctor (me) ordered (bought at the airport). Very useful, allergy friendly protein option. Not that delicious, but not that gross, either. Thanks, egg!

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [I didn't even look but it was probably like 8 bucks lmao]
Taste: 6/10 

Cal-Organic Farms Cauliflower

Finally, I am back in the land of Kitchen! One annoying question people love to ask me after I tell them I don't eat things without reading the ingredients (i.e. at most restos) is "so what can you even eat?". I usually tell them "pasta, rice, chicken, oats, and brocco" because that does indeed cover the majority of my consumption (other than cofe & candy hehe hoho), but I find it a weird one. Yes, there sure are many foods I can't eat, but there are way, way more foods I can eat. Are your brains so small that you can only conceive of LEGUME? You sad little people, addicted to LEGUME*. Anyway, I made a weird whipped cauliflower mash with this. It was good (ish). So there, people who want to know about my consumption. Many white pastes are schlorped by me. 

I got this because my store was out of normie cauli, but this one had a few brown spots, a few black spots, and 1 bug (feels like there's always 1 bug). I cut 'em off to no severe consequence. Taste was good, size was good, I like cauli. (*Of course I also like when people ask about Me, so I don't really mind their annoying question, I just got asked it about 50 times this week and it started to get silly.)

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4.50$]
Taste: 6/10 

Starbucks Cold Brew Concentrate

All my homies hate Starby's, but, needs must (the NOLA grocery store didn't have Dunkin cold brew). This is convenient for travel because hotels always have water and ice, and that's all you need for this (although a little milk never hurt anyone). It didn't taste as bad as I feared, and the ingredos are just coffee so there's no ostensible allergy issue. This bottle is supposedly 5 servings, though I found it actually had too much for my 4.5 day trip, and it also costs like 11 dollars, which is gross. But it fits in hotel fridge and is coffee. So, I guess it's all right. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [11$]
Taste: 6/10 

O Organics Thyme

Behold... it is thyme. Ever since my herb garden died off (due to Had To Unplug It) I've been buying a lot of these stupid little 4$ nearly expired-if they're even in stock at all-packs of store brand herbs. I used this to make some vegetarian gravy, since all store bought gravy packs are now Soy City (derogatory, but not in a sexist way). Unfortunately homemade gravy is very dissimilar to pack gravy, and the main flavor note was (you'll never guess),, thyme. Which was OK, and good for potatoes, but maybe less good for things like meats (I didn't yet try it on meats). Anyway, this is expensive and annoying, but that's probably just fresh packaged herbs in general. You also gotta wash it, which is annoying but important in this landscape!

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [3.70$]
Taste: 6/10 

Gerbs Pumpkin Kernels (Pepitas) - Roasted & Unsalted

The truth is, I've never really liked shelled pumpkin seeds. Like what's the point? They just taste like pliable dirt, which I have plenty of in my yard. So why am I the owner of a 2lb bag of them? Ha ha, so true. The reason is that Gerb's only sells 2lb bags, and I needed some pepitas for a recipe. (Pepita is a cute name for a pet by the way. I had a lil guy named Pepito way before that internet cat was even born. Just saying.) Where was I? Oh yes. I used these to make a crust for a pumpkin cheesecake (I know, it's a little 親子) and it was way less delicious than pretty much any other crust would have been, but certainly more fibrous and magnesiumous. So there's something. Anyway, I will use these in recipes and they will serve their purpose and be nut free. But I will not snack on them because they do not delight me, or even really fill me. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [24$ish]
Taste: 5/10