village farms heavenly villagio marzano tomatoes

If people aren't giving you grace, you gotta give yourself grace. I am trying to do that right now, by reviewing these tomatoes instead of (metaphorically?) killing myself to do Tasks. Is reviewing tomatoes not a task, you ask? It isn't. It's like a meditation. So too is eating tomatoes. Move over, raisin meditation. This is a cool bag, and the contents are also cool. The tomatoes are long and wrinkly. Not roma, but (san) marzano, which is a type of tomato I was not even aware was a type of tomato until now. Pointier and less juicy, I guess. But in a good way. They lasted a long time without molding. I don't know what else you could expect from a tomato.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Sargento 4 Cheese Mexican Traditional Cut ~ Off the Block

Move over, reduced fat mexi-shreds! It's full fat time! I get this 4 cheese blend whenever a recipe calls for American, Colby, or Monterrey Jack cheese, since my store only has those in the deli counter, which is allergy central. We make do, do we not? But this cheese is plenty tasty. And it melts well, which is the main consideration usually. It's also non-aged, so theoretically fine for brain diet hangers-on (i.e. me depending on mood). Is it any better than the reduced fat version? I think the taste is actually pretty similar, but the texture is a bit less stiff, which is an improvement. Also, I feel cooler eating this one. You know, like the Gone Girl version. So it is what it is.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Sour Patch Kids Glow Ups

Who asked for this? "The first ever candy to glow under a blacklight"?? I mean, I'm not against it -- I like the stupid cooling Icee cereal, so I also like this. It's just a funny product. I wonder if it will encourage anyone who doesn't already have one to buy a blacklight. If they do, they might discover some hidden infestations they wish had remained hidden (or sex stuff, but in my experience I'm mostly just discovering hidden infestations, even in hotel rooms, which is the original reason to purchase a blacklight before Big Gummy got in on the game). 

These are supposed to be strawberry & watermelon, but I think (??) they're all the same color & flavor, so I guess it's a mix in a single Kid? The predominant flavor I get is watermelon, which is a fine flavor, although not as delicious as those seasonal black raspberry ones. Easy to binge, alas. But good for nausea! Even if not good for other organs and systems....

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10
Stupid Novelty: 6/10 (if you don't have a blacklight these are literally just regular candy)

Frosted Cinnamon Roll Pop Tarts

OK, I think we might need to call it on the pop tarts after this. Not that these are particularly awful -- it's just, you know, pop tarts. For flavor authenticity, these aren't bad -- I definitely get the cinnamon roll vibe, since they taste like bread, thin frosting, and warm cinnamony goop. Unfortunately, there's a touch of that horrible apple jack poptart potpourri flavor in the cinnamon goop which is really unpleasant. It's nowhere near as bad as it was in the apple jack poptarts, and if I never had had those I might not even notice or hate it, but alas. I did and I do. So.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

McCormick Sea Salt Grinder

Although people say a lot of weird stuff to me, I also say a lot of weird stuff to people. My hope was that, by eating salt, I will be less woozy and less likely to say weird stuff. I ate this whole salt and it did not have the desired effect. Even so, this was a nice shaker with an appropriate number of holes. It makes food taste much better, too. I am pretty sure salt is either something I need way more of or way less of, but since I have no idea which one it is, I will probably buy another one of these bad boys. Thanks, salt!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10