Cheez-it Sizzlin' Bacon

The reviews for these are not great, and that's because they taste weird. I find it a little reassuring that other people said so, because (as always) I'm scared I'm allergic, but there's no listed beans/soy protein/peas/mustard, even though "bacon flavor" is often a secret soy protein time. But these are just regular cheez-it crackers (no other bits), albeit strangely flavored. I guess the taste is kinda like a very smokey BBQ chip. But on a Cheez-It. Not much Cheez flavor to speak of, and a definite hickory vibe. Points for not killing me, but otherwise I don't love it.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Firefly Farms - Bloomy Breeze

I bought this thinking "oh, it's like brie!" and then I bit into it and thought "oh, no it's not -- it's like a babybel cheddar", but THEN I accidentally ate some rind (I was avoiding it due to allergy fear of mold, which is dumb) and I realised, oh, it IS brie! This is some good rind and the rind+inside combo is lovely. I cut this into 4 wedges and 1/4 cheese is a pleasant serving size. I wish it were a teeny bit more creamy inside, but the taste is very good and worth the price (cheese is expensive :(). 

Overall
Cost: 3/10 [9$]
Taste: 8/10

Kettle Brand Farmstand Ranch Chips

I really like the brand -- nut free! And lots of flavors! I don't usually like ranch things much though, so even though the color of the bag is very pretty, this isn't my favorite flavor. (I think I like the cheese and jalepeno ones best). They're very firm and crunchy, yet delicate. I think that style is growing on me. The amount of seasoning is good -- definitely enough to taste it but not overwhelming (i.e. you can still taste potato). And yeah, the seasoning tastes like ranch. That is, some herb type stuff, plus some sour milk type taste. Haha. Better than plain, but worse than almost all other flavors, I think.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Mott's Apple Orchard Fruit Snacks

Wuh oh. I don't know if these were stored next to some soap or if they just taste like that. I think they just taste like that. Very apple-juice flavored, but also I use Apple Mango Tango Gain and they taste like that (smells) too. The texture is good as always and they are cute, but I prefer the OG Motts. Better once you have a few though!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

2022 Montsablé Pinot Noir Pays d'OC

The entry for this wine is not only missing, but it's spelled wrong and reuses the weird sausage pizza recipe from another oddly listed wine! I'm not about to remake that bad boy, so we suffer in hunger and confusion, montsablérs. The wine itself is pretty interesting. Very watery on first sip, then immediate cherry vibes, then a strong "finish" with heavy acid. I think I like the uniqueness but the taste (or really aftertaste) is a little much for me, especially with the throat burning. Such is life in France, maybe!

Overall
Cost: ?/10
Taste: 6/10

Cheetos Cheddar Jalepeño

I got these from the school vending machine after getting a soda from a different school vending machine. It was a sad, bad day for many reasons. These weren't one of the reasons, though. They were pretty good for a vending snack. Not as buttery or spicy as the tasty jalepeño cheese curls I like, but similar in spirit, just more cheeto-y (thinner, crunchier). Pleasant and filling.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10
Depression that isn't cheeto-related: 9/10

Loaded Cinnamon Toast Crunch

OK, there's a lot of pretty weird things going on here. First of all, are these weird emoji square guys looking to be a new "thing"? I don't like that. Second of all, this is a small box and not family size. I mean, it's family size for me, a family of one, but that's a lexical innovation. Next, these taste very little like cinnamon toast crunch. Gone is the dense, sugary coating we are used to. Instead these puffs are somewhat....bready!? Someone online said they are like the cinnamon twists at Taco Bell, and I can see that. The taste is similar, and they are both weirdly airy, but these have no crunch at all, even dry. It's weird. They're also hardly loaded; it's more like the tiniest layer of pop-tart filling than any vanilla cream. It's OK though. Mild and sweet, like a little cinnamon cake puff. I don't hate it!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Goldfish Crisps - Cheddar

I support PepFarm in whatever they wanna do, but these didn't thrill me. I guess because there are already tons of chips. But these aren't really chips, are they? They're like very seasoned crackers. Way more flavor than a regular goldfish. I like that, and I like the shape, even if the seasoning is a little mysterious. Like, what is it? It isn't really cheddar. It's almost ranch!? Or chicken in a biscuit?! On second thought, I think I love it. The airy inside is great. I will try the other flavors. Thank you, goldfish.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3.50 on sale]
Taste: 8/10

Quaker Fruit Fusion Instant Oatmeal - Strawberry Peach

There was a big Quaker recall recently, which apparently impacted the Capt'n Crunch oatmeal I had last year! But not this. Apparently. Anyway, it was an illness recall and not a nut recall, so I'm pressing on. This flavor smells and looks good - peach! Yum! Real fruit! The taste is just so-so; it isn't super fruity but more of an "oatmeal" flavor. Nevertheless, I like oatmeal and I like the light fruity vibes that are present. So it's a nice warm meal! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Sour Skittles - Berry Mix

I like Skittles, and I like Sour Skittles, so I like these too. However, I don't know if the berry flavored skittles are my favorite -- I prefer regular sour skittles I think! But that's OK, they're still fun, and if I don't like the flavor I can sort of suck on the sour part first and drown it out. Like other sour skittles, after a while they really do destroy your tongue. But in a good way?? Cherry is my least favorite flavor, but they're all decent.

Wild Cherry - This one tastes like cherry medicine. You know, like Luden's? Not my favorite for that. OK though. 5

Melon Berry - Hard to explain, but tastes like my childhood. I like it a lot! 8

Strawberry - Decent, basically tastes like regular skittle red. 7

Raspberry -  Feels the most sour and the most sweet. Tastes blue, and it is blue. 6 

Berry Punch - Tastes like Plant Potpourri! I thought these were the berry flavors from before, just sour, but this is the one that made me realise it for sure. What a strange and unique feeling. 7 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

2022 Sishaye Cabernet

OK, I suspect this 2022 cab is very similar to the 2021 version. The tasty looking recipe is still paywalled, after all. But I do still like Sishaye despite being an online wine label, since the screw top and IPA are on point, and none of them have been horrible. This is a solid cab. My first reaction was that it was pretty darn tart, but after a day in the fridge the fruitiness comes out more. Cherry vibe with a bit of a bite. Fine and dandy. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [16$]
Taste: 6/10

Hal's New York Kettle Chips - Sour Cream & Onion

This is a new company to me! Apparently they make chips, seltzer, popcorn, and pretzels. Kind of a weird assortment, but none of it looks nutty, so even though the only allergy info they have is "gluten free", I'll trust the label that these are safe! Anyway, I didn't love these. They felt a little bit 'mealy" -- but I don't think it's inherent to the chip, I think it was probably the seasoning! Normally sour cream and onion chips have a little "zing" but these were more "cream flavored powder". So I didn't love it, although I ate em all and didn't die and all those good things. I would assume that another flavor might be a lil better. The chips were kind of small/curled in on themselves, though, which I didn't love, but might like in another situation.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Cheetos Mac 'N Cheese - Four Cheesy

Who knew I was going so hard on mac and cheese this week? But without the scary mustard sauces, it's all I got! So, this is more like the typical prep: add butter, milk, and cheese powder. The noodles are a classic spiral shape, too! I like the slightly longer spiral noodle, and they tastes basically like normal mac. The powder is really a bright orange, which is kind of disconcerting. It also doesn't mix in fully, so there were powder clumps leftover, but maybe I should have added a bit more milk. It is very cheesy. Maybe a little more tang than in plain yellow. I also feel it giving me a stomachache as we speak, even though I didn't use the full butter amount! Wah! Maybe there IS something to goat cheese after all. But this tastes better than the goat mac, although not as good as normal Kraft. Also I'm scared of secret mustard in the natural flavors now; I really have a problem. But so far so alive.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Funny Farm - Deluxe White Goat Cheddar Shells & Cheese

Does this really make 3.5 servings? I'll be lucky to do 2, I think! It's just mac and cheese, except instead of powder we got that goopy sauce packet. A lot of salt, not a lot of butter, kinda nervous about the taste. Seems pretty nut free, and maybe even good for milk allergies if goat is better than cow, which is cool. It makes a big amount, and I feel like there should be even MORE goopy sauce lol. But it's OK. The noodles are good, delicate. The sauce doesn't have a very strong flavor. It's wet but almost watery! Maybe that's what goat gets ya. I'd be curious to try the yellow cheddar. It's OK, but too much and also nothing exciting. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Doritos Tangy Pickle

Ah, safe in the land of Frito-Lay. These make my lips tingle, but not 'cause I'm dying (at least, I'm pretty sure), just 'cause they're so sour. Very strong sour vibe. Seriously, move over salt & vinegar chips, this is time for dill & vinegar chips. They are better than plain, maybe, but I don't like pickles! But they do really taste like pickle, just like the pickle sweet valley ranch. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

That's it - Apple & Blueberries

The taste or texture of this are not great. It's thick and chewy and a bit dry, like a fruit jerky. Tastes like apple, I guess, but not delicious apple, more like OK apple. The plus side is, I love the ethos. Just two ingredos?! That's so allergy friendly! And clean! And the label reflects it! So I like it for that, even if I don't actually looove the product. Blueberries don't come through much -- I think all of these are basically just apple. Lol.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

2021 Tuesday Night Sauvignon Blanc

This is a winner! I like the branding and I like the taste. Sweet, fruity, a little bite but just right. Not too thin. Of course, this is just drinking it warm, so who knows. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [15$]
Taste: 7/10

Marie Callender's Small Peach Pie

Marie Callender's pies are usually decent and supposedly safe (even though they make PB pies!!) so even though I've had a rough week allergy wise, I'm going for this mini peach pie. Even though it is single serve, it is 780 cals, so perhaps it is double serve. I decided to make it in the oven to optimize the pie experience, but it does take 45 minutes. It smelled good and I think cooked up well. Unfortunately it didn't quite hit the pie spot for me. The crust is good as always, flaky and buttery. But the filling is weirdly goopy and the peaches are small pieces rather than full slices. It does taste processed. I don't dislike it or anything, but if this is actually what peach pie tastes like (and I don't think it is!) then peach pie kinda stinks.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Kinder's Dipping Sauce - Creamy Roasted Garlic

Yup, this is creamy roasted garlic sauce alright! Basically similar to the garlic mayo I had before. It's OK. I had it on chicken nuggets which probably isn't the best space for it; I do think it would be better with fries or sweet potato fries. Maybe I should get some since this does last quite a few months in the fridge, which is nice. It did make my face tingly and weird, but what doesn't, you know?

Update: seconds after writing that line I had a panic and/or allergy attack and pounded Benadryl and freaked out. I really have a problem, huh!? But anyways, I don't think I'm gonna have any more of this. Stupid body!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Fear: 9/10

Swanson Beef Stock

What is there to say that hasn't already been said about this Beef Stock? It tastes different from chicken stock, a stronger flavor, but otherwise the same things apply: it's safe, it works, it doesn't do much for me but it is in many recipes. I am glad there is a safe option.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

2016 Château de Gassis Bordeaux

Drinking this warm from a hot cup sure was disorienting! It's quite acidic for a red. Very thin and tart, which isn't really my cup of tea (or hot wine). Flavors are light berry and light wood, I think. Plus an aftertaste of bread. I'll have to try it cold too. The song is good, the food pairing is a no-go due to nuts. Cheers!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Perdue Simply Smart Organics Lightly Breaded Chicken Breast Dino Nuggets

The idea of a dino nugget is cute. These are still soy free and decently microwavable (still gotta try oven); however, I actually think the gluten free nugs might be tastier. The breading is just 'nothing' here and they're very thin. IDK.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

utz Honey Wheat Twists Pretzels

Can't believe I didn't review these yet! I feel like crap and my room smells, but these are still good. Tasty, filling, a lil sweet and salty but also savory, and they are explicit about being nut free! I've enjoyed these for a long time now and I'm glad they still exist.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 8/10

Ortega Creamy Queso Sauce

Sadly I must give this a heavy Nay-so. It's bad, guys. And I love queso! This tastes like the horrible little tostitos queso that I gave away a few months ago. Or the weird alfredo pasta roni with a chemical tomato vibe. Just terrible. Not cheesy, but artificial and toxic to the taste.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 3/10

Abe's Mom's Blueberry Muffins

Noooo I didn't realise these were Abe's MOM'S and not ABE'S. That means they're gluten free. That means, apparently, that they're much worse. (Sorry, gluten free fam). Just a weird dry firm texture, doesn't taste very good or sweet or berry-y, which is a shame. I miss Abe's!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Haribo Be Mine Mix

I'm in NYC! And don't have any friends here! So I don't want to eat alone! So I went to Target for groceries and instead bought....these gummies! I must miss Mai Ha. Anyway, this is for Valentine's Day, which I guess is the next holiday, so it's not crazy they had a Valentine's section. The flavors are cherry, raspberry, and pineapple, and the shapes are X, O, heart, and bear. Not too riveting on either front, but all are good. I think pineapple is probably my favorite, but it's by a narrow margin. Generic sweet nut free treat.

Overall
Cost: ??/10
Taste: 7/10

Perdue Simply Smart Organics Gluten Free Breaded Chicken Breast Nuggets

I didn't notice these were gluten free and organic when buying them -- all I care about is that they don't have legumes and that they're a new nugget in the rotation! And they filled those criteria. But you can really tell these are different -- the breading is more like panko than typical breading. They smell normal, though, and unlike a lot of the other ones, microwaving them is not very different from oven baking them. So they're very convenient for that. A good snack to have around.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 7/10

Pepperidge Farm Farmhouse Sourdough Bread

Unfortunately I don't really remember how this was, but I ate about half of it, so it must have been fine! The slices are pretty large. No nuts. I like bread but I don't have it often. Maybe I should get more Pep Farm breads.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10