McCormick Garlic Powder

Out of actual food to review... back to the spice cabinet!

This is garlic powder. It is in a lot of (savory) recipes, like pasta and meat. It is more convenient than garlic, but not as delicious. A little goes a lot way. My store was out of the normal size so I got this giant size instead. The holes are way bigger so I will probably use it equally fast because of repeated "oh no that's way too much" instances. (In terms of taste it's not too much, but in terms of heartburn, you bet your bippy it is!) 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Undercover Chocolate Quinoa Crisps - Dark Chocolate + Blueberries

And with this, I've finally finished my "trendy nut free snack" excursion (for the time being)! These are pretty different from the cherry ones in that you can't perceive the blueberries at all. They are texturally indistinguishable from the plain dark choco ones (a plus), but without the sea salt (a minus, it turns out). I guess there is a mild blueberry flavor, but if I weren't looking for it, I'd probably just think it's the fruity notes of the choco. So perhaps my ranking is: milk > salt > blueb > cherry. (Whereas my non-Undercover ranking is probably the exact opposite!!) 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Stouffer's Sides - Cheddar Bacon Potatoes

The idea of this doesn't appeal to me overmuch, but that's probably because most "bacon" of this type is just soy protein. According to the ingredos, this product is soy free, and it's just normie bacon in there. This is also a brick of 4.5 servings (to that I say: lol, but it is probably 2-3). The reviews are weirdly high. You cook it in the microwave, so you know it's haute cuisine. 

The taste is mainly breadcrumb, which is fine, I like breadcrumb. Some small bacos, some cheese crust, and yeah, theoretically, potato cubes. High goop factor. I don't know if it's worth raving about, but it's unobjectionable. I wouldn't serve it at a party but I'd eat it. 

Overall
Cost: 3/10 [8$]
Taste: 6/10 

New York Bakery Texas Toast - Original

Some of my best friends are ready in 4-10 minutes! I haven't had garlic bread in forever, for various reasons. But a wee slice of this was nice. Not as nice as a cheesy one, or, dare I say, a regular french bread loaf, but we can't be too picky, can we? I continue to appreciate the twistie-tied bag that allows for 1-slice servings. It is garlic bread, with all that entails.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Oat Haus Cookie Dough Granola Butter

Whew, it's a good thing I had the darker Red Velvet flavor first, because this is a VERY SCARY tan color. But it's safe....it's safe...

I like cookie dough more than red velvet cake, so I also prefer this flavor. The texture is still very gritty, although this one was more liquidy and less stiff. It does have a cookie dough flavor, but with some added "oil and oats" notes, which makes sense because those things are in it and wheat flour and eggs(?) and butter(?) aren't. In college my besties and I used to buy a tube of Pillsbury cookie dough from TroGro (now a Starbucks, one of many tragedies occurring at my once beloved alma mater) and just eat it. Those were the days. But that tube dough was much tastier than this jar dough. Perhaps if I'd never had the tube dough, I'd rate it higher. Or perhaps if I were eating eat out of this jar with three age-matched peers who indulged my no-double-dipping request. Really makes you think.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10 

Eggo Buttermilk Pancakes

You may know I have about 5 food-related complaints of late, and one of them is that they simply stopped making frozen French Toast. Nowhere to be seen! Well, it turns out the same is true of frozen pancakes, except waffle-makers Eggo have stepped in there (before or after the end of Frozen Pancake, I don't know). Who used to make them? I think Pillsbury, maybe the company now known as Pearl Milling Company, maybe someone I'm forgetting? Anyway, now Eggo is all there is. But that's fine, you say, they're Kellogg's, that's all fine. Ah! But! Another top complaint is that everyone is adding PEA PROTEIN to everything, and so too are Eggo's frozen pancakes PROTEINIFIED with LEGUME!! Not these, but almost every other one is. It seems rife for cross-contam issues, especially since it's not even a Top 9 Allergen (Y E T). So I can't enjoy these in peace. Also, they taste very mid. And they squash together in a mush when you cook them. But as a vessel for butter/toppings I guess they do the job. Always my least favorite of the big 3 frozen breakfast breads, anyway.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Undercover Chocolate Quinoa Crisps - Milk Chocolate

Finally, the answer to that age old question: what's more delicious, salt, cherries, or milk? Shockingly, the answer is still salt. I would have thought milk choco would win over dark 100% of the time, but I guess with quinoa in the picture, that is false. These are fine, but rather than tasting like milk chocolate, they mostly taste like watery quinoa. No, I will not elaborate further. It is still a pleasant snack, but for the nutrition on these guys I'd rather have a cookie. Or chocolate proper. I guess it is marginally approximating a Crunch Bar/Krackel (is that how you spell it?) but it's been like, 25 years since I've had one, so I can't be sure.

Update: upon reflection, I miss Crunch Bar/Krackel very much, so maybe that notches these above Salt, actually. [In a "hug your loved ones while you can" voice:] eat delicious candies while you can, blog fans!!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 
Memories of Crunch Bar and/or Krackel: 9/10

Dunkin' Mint Chip K-Cups

My favorite ice cream flavor and my favorite big box coffee brand, together at last! What could go wrong? Well, as always, it's the artificial flavor of it all. I think I could ID artificial flavor like a medical alert dog and I'm not even joking. That said, this is pretty good for what it is. The smell is great, and the flavor is good enough to almost begin to compensate for the horrible artificiality. More chocolate than mint, honestly. It smells just like a cacao roller :9

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Guittard 63% Extra Dark Chocolate Chips

OK, but like, I'm being so for real when I say that 63% IS NOT EXTRA DARK!!! Guittard doesn't know the meaning of "extra", it is clear to me now. Extra clear. Extra dark would be like, 76% minimum. I do like that the darkest bag is red, though. That feels right. If it were 90% we'd be getting somewhere. Not that I even like dark chocolate much, but if we're going bitter we might as well go (genuinely) extra, yeah? 

Anyway, these taste a little darker than the pink ones, but not significantly so. Which again makes sense given the percentage. You might wonder why I have all these Guittard dark chocos, then. The reason is that I needed white chocolate for baking, they're the only ones with safe white choco, and they have an order minimum for free shipping (and I didn't want to order a dozen bags of white choco, even though that would be smart to do, because a summer rat would probably get into my choco hoard and then I'd be depressed). 

 A fine choco. Probably my least favorite, which tracks. I trust the percentage if not the modifier.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Undercover Dark Chocolate + Cherries Quinoa Crisps

Time to answer the age old question: which is more delicious, sea salt or cherries? Against all odds, the answer when it comes to Undercover Snacking is: sea salt. These still mostly taste like dark chocolate, and have a fun quinoa crunch, but they also have raisin-like blobs of cherry throughout, which is a textural displeasure. There is a very mild dried cherry taste, but it doesn't add anything. Too bad. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Les Fermes Roger Gariepy & Fils Carot(te)s

Mon dieu. Just when you think there can't possibly be any more Canadian carrots you haven't tried, Roger Gariepy (& Fils) bust into your local veg box. Mais, these are actually a notch above the other carrots I've had lately. You get a ton in the bag, and they're fairly skinny, which means they're good for a single-serve dinner and also aren't all dry and weathered. J'adore les carottes. Tout le monde aime les carottes canadiennes! À bientôt!

Globalement
Coût: 6/10
Goût: 6/10

Guittard 46% Semisweet Chocolate Chips

I should be able to tell that these are less semisweet (lol) than the 55% pink ones, and therefore more fully sweet, but they actually taste the opposite. Maybe I don't understand the chocolate world like I thought I did. I just had a sudden flashback to a girl in my freshman seminar in college bragging about how she was heir to the Scharffenberger fortune, and that they had REAL chocolate, unlike Hershey (with a pointed stare at me, Hershey Girl). I'm no Hershey defender (other than their allergy policy), and I understand the chocolate politics that made her hate me, but that girl was a major snoot. I ranted about it to my parents and they were like, "well, but you can see why she said that." Yes, parents!! Of course!! Anyway, all political discourse is kind of like that for me.

Where was I? Having another 2 Tbsp of wine? No, actually. Not much else to talk about here, though. I like the orange bag. These are a good quality dark choco, and taste very deep and not at all bitter. What is the other 64%? It's sugar. And yet, you can't really taste it. Which is good and bad, I suppose. Lost in the dark depths of the milky (yet vegan) choco. Impressive stuff, Guittard. I bet the heirs to the Guittard fortune are way friendlier. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [11$ish]
Taste: 6/10  

2022 New World Syrah

It's really unfortunate that both of my jobs require me to be hyperaware of "the culture" (i.e. the ways people use words in media and conversation) and how it's moving on without me. That is only tangentially related to this wine, but now I'm of the age where 2Tbsp of wine make me philosophical. Very economical. Anyway, it's spring break, so I can imbibe in 2Tbsp of wine. This wine isn't that good tasting. It also made my face very red. Stupid wine. They say it's juicy, spicy, and easy to drink, and arguably just the first two points are accurate. A lot of tannins, though it is bright. More earthy than jammy, but a little jammy. Would definitely go with red meat, but I haven't had red meat in like, 2.5 years now. By philosophical, I may have meant "depressed". Hmm. The power of wine!

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [8$!]
Taste: 5/10 

Oat Haus Chocolate Chip Banana Bread Granola

When it rains, it pours! But this is just unambiguously* good. No weird texture issues; the texture is that of granola and the taste is exactly that of chocolate chip banana bread + granola. A lot of companies start out nut free and then pivot (Built Bars, MadeGood, Brownie Brittle) so I hope that doesn't happen here, because I will actually buy this regularly. It's just oats/quinoa/tapioca/dark choco/banana flavor. Banana is having a moment right now, also. Check out Dunkin's new banana cold foam and syrup! (This is a note to me, primarily, since I can't eat fresh banana due to O-A-S but I do really love banana.)]

*Oop, hold on, there is a weird little aftertaste. A bit artificial. But not too strong... just ignore it... 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$ish? but it's 10 servings!]
Taste: 7/10 

Oat Haus Red Velvet Granola Butter

Granola Butter? What will they think of next!? OK, so apparently this was on Shark Tank (never watched it), and the owner is big on TikTok (never used it), and that tracks to me because the name "oat haus" is right in that annoying hipster space. (It used to be called something even worse, though, so we're getting there). Anyway, I saw this in a store and thought "nut free, eh?" so I got it because I will eat pretty much anything I'm not allergic to, as you've no doubt observed. I have never wanted a peanut butter replacement, since I've never wanted peanut butter, and in fact the idea is actively repulsive to me. But I do like granola, butter, and cakes, so I wasn't sure how it'd go. 

It went....eh. The appearance is pretty nasty -- mud would be generous. I wasn't expecting little white choco chips in there. It's a lot like gritty, slightly whipped chocolate frosting. I do get red velvet cake vibes, so they did a good job flavor matching. I like that you can keep it in the cupboard even after it's open. I must say, my first reaction was disappointment and mild disgust (at the texture, which I imagine is way grittier than any nut butter (??)), but as is so often the case, the more I ate it, the more I got into it. It is extremely fatty, so that makes sense. It's also sweet, but not quite icing sweet, which is a plus. I'm open to receiving more of what "Oat Haus" has to Auffer me. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$!]
Taste: 6/10 

Two-Bite Filled Carrot Cake Cupcakes

I am a fool to keep buying these. Stick with the original! All these filled cupcakes are bad! Nut free carrot cake product was just too tempting to pass up, though. But I should have passed up. The one upside is, they are slightly less sweet tasting than the last kind (although I suspect nutritionally identical), and the texture is good. There are also actual carrot fragments in the cake (or at least some orange shreddy bit, lol), which I appreciate. But the taste is quite bad. Not cake, not carrot, not sugar, not cream cheese, not vanilla, I don't know what it is but it's not a treat. Tragic stuff really.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [5.50]
Taste: 5/10 

Undercover Dark Chocolate + Sea Salt Quinoa Crisps

These are very trendy in the nut-allergy social media space (lol), to the point where they're even being offered on flights (c.f. other delightful nut free snacks that have become similarly popular, like biscoff cookies, stroopwafels, and... pretzels). So I finally checked 'em out. Quinoa is a nice allergy-free grain with a good cronch, chocolate and salt are always delicious, so it's a tasty sweet treat. It's definitely more dark choco than quinoa, but the shape/airiness is fun (like a rice krispie treat x non-pareil hybrid), and there's no legumes. Flavorwise this flavor at least is really nothing new, but if you want a little cronch in your salty pre-portioned dark choco, it's a good option. I will try the other varieties because I want to support such endeavors!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [6$ish]
Taste: 7/10 

McCormick Cream of Tartar

A pretty unappealing name, but appealing as a baking aid to tart-en things up a bit. It's an acid that comes from winemaking, so we have no choice but to celebrate it. I'm tempted to taste a little, un-baked, but that way lies madness, plus what if it's like flour and could be toxic? So we don't really know how it tastes, but it does the job in blondies, etc.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [5.50$]
Taste: 5/10