Grimmway Farms Whole Carrots

While googling these to find out their provenance, I learned that they were the target of a recall last winter! (E. coli, not allergy). So there's a benefit to not being able to eat raw veg anymore, I suppose -- no worries, mate! Anyway, these carrots were fine. A little slimy and with some weird leaves(?) or other veg particles(?) on them, actually, but since I of course wash and cook them, it didn't impact me. They were otherwise in good shape, a pretty good size (not too big, not too small) and fairly fresh. I don't really have a lot of fresh carrot opinions like I do for, say, berries or water, but other than the whole E coli situation, these seem pretty good. They're based in California, by the way (another classic local veg box item....). 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 

YORK THiNS Dark Chocolate Peppermint Patties Miniatures

My dad worked at Hershey for his entire postgrad career (and therefore my entire childhood), which if you think about it, is pretty rare nowadays. Anyway, the smell of these reminds me of the smell of his office building. I thought they were just another junior mint/andes dupe, but they really are their own thing (even though it is a member of that genre no doubt). Dad's job is another reason why I feel so confident about Hershey's allergy labelling, even though there is no "may contain" or "nut free" label here and obviously Hershey makes a ton of nut candies. They are good labellers and good cleaners, and you'll notice that they haven't had any allergy recalls (unlike every other major company). Don't prove me wrong in the future, Hershey('s)! Also, they have many flaws as a company, of course, as do most companies. But this is an allergy blog, not an ethics blog. Could you imagine me pivoting into ethics? Ha. Good thing I have allergies, I guess.  

So these are individually wrapped, which I didn't expect, but which I am glad for because as usual, my house is 8 million degrees and these are quite melty and would surely have glommed together into a delicious monstrosity. They're also "thins" -- sorry, THiNS -- which means the ratio is like the inverse of a double stuf Oreo and you get mostly squishy dark choco and just a little peppermint goop. That's good because the peppermint goop, while a delight, can be too much (and therefore toothpastey) awful quick. Taste and texturewise I find these better than the thIcks (or Regulars). I don't know if my grandma liked mint, but I could imagine her eating one of these for dessert because it is tiny and not particularly decadent. But still great and refreshing. I'm glad I got these even though the typography is dumb as hell.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [6$]
Taste: 8/10 

2022 Tucana Rosé

Not me drinking a wine!!! I know, it's mad. Especially because this has been sitting in my 100 degree house for 2 years. At first blush, it tastes like it, too. Fizzy, very acidic, but a sweet start and a very burning-my-insides finish. Do I even like wine, I asked myself? Am I now allergic to wine!? And other questions. But I had simply forgot the ancient wine wisdom: stick with it and it will improve. So it was. I'm trying to be extremely moderate for many reasons, so I only had a glass per day, but each day was a bit better. No more burning, only yearning. Generally sweet strawberry/peach/cantaloupe notes. Pretty orangey pink color; screw top; South African blend. I don't think I'll be willing to risk any more wines once I'm employed again, but it was nice to experience a little nostalgia for a while. That sounds more emo than I meant it. Wine is good, and it might have increased my histamine (I mean, scientifically speaking, it certainly did) but I didn't notice any brain effects, at least not in the short term. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [4.50, but it's sold out]
Taste: 6/10 

Old Tyme 647 Italian Kaiser Rolls

A new sesame-free roll appears! These seem like they'd be really good; the size is big and the texture is nice and fluffy. They don't have any weird legumes or sesame, BUT they do have 16g of fiber and wheat protein isolate. The idea of any protein isolate makes me so itchy, due to my soy-and-pea trauma, and so even though I'm like, quite sure I'm not allergic to wheat since I eat it pretty much every day, these still made me scared I was dying. Classic me. But I didn't die! I ate two whole chicken sandwiches on consecutive days! They have a nice flavor, not too sweet or buttery like some packaged breads. A perfect serviceable option that I'm glad exists, even though the mega protein/fiber is kinda unnecessary. Bready. Lots of dusty flour. What does 647 mean, I wonder? 64 tummy aches, 7 days a week? The area code to call up Old Tyme? Drop your guesses in the comments! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

San Pellegrino Ciao! Lime

We have ourselves a winner, cap'n! I like this much more than the other two Ciaos I chowed, probably because it tastes like a popsicle. Not a good popsicle, necessarily, kinda like a green pop-ice (otter pop for the cali pallys). Good, bright, sweet-seeming lime flavor (and salt). Not too bitter like the orange or artificial(ish) like the cherry. Also, it is my favorite color, green. I could slam these, but I won't, because I'm an adult. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [6.75 >:(]
Taste: 7/10 

Signature Select Boneless Skinless Chicken Thighs

Behold! My store now has chicken thighs! This is great news for protein-lovers, but mid news for allergy-havers, because store brand meat/deli/bakery stuff all has the same allergy disclaimer (processed with every ingredient you can name, and more). And there are nut-containing meats (mortadella), so there is a little bit of legitimate fear with something like this as far as shared cutting surfaces, counters, gloves, etc. Buuut this is just chicken (ingredients: chicken) and from inspection, there don't look like any non-chicken residues, so I figure it's a reasonable risk (even though I'd much rather any actual company > in-store(?) butchery). I also don't really need 8 thighs (that's 3.5lbs), even for a big crock-pot recipe, so I had to do the gross repackaging-and-freezing-and-labelling dance, but I guess these work out to like 1.75$/thigh, which is a good deal (certainly cheaper than the 5 breasts for 13-15$ bag). Thighs are also more delicious than other chicken parts (sorry to discuss chicken parts on main). And while we're at it, I also doubt the ethics of store brand chicken... but we all make our little choices. 

Anyway, taste is good. Nice moist chicken. Shockingly fatty after a full year of breast-only life (aha), but that's a plus for me. The "bbq" sauce I slow cooked it in was just like, tomato paste (in flavor), so that was a disappointment, and I may have cooked it a little too far into mushiness, but I think those were user error and not chicken failure.  

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10 

Weetabix

God, this stuff is hilarious. I like the slogan: "It looks different, because it is different." Really teaching our kids an interesting lesson about human diversity. But no worries, because any self-respecting kid would throw this in the garbage and burn the box. Did we really need to import a cereal that comes in biscuit form? And I'm not talking cookie-biscuit, I'm talking large oval triscuit basket biscuit. Watching the milk seep in really gave a nice preview of the agony that was about to go down inside my body. It tastes like a wheat biscuit, or, post-milk, like what oatmeal would be if it were wheat. I had to throw out the post-milk disaster, maybe because milk is bad, but I could choke down the plain dry biscuit. The box suggests yogurt, nuts, or honey as some prep options, but also "plain milk and then heat it up" was the suggested option for Friday (today). I admit, I do like the idea of weekday suggestions, even though the majority of them disgusted me. Too bad it was porridge Friday; I will never buy a Weetabox again (even though it's made in Canada; allergy paradise). I do like that it comes in oreo-esque paper wrapping inside a cereal box, though. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 4/10 

Quaker Avena Instantanea - Canela

Who knew that switching from a morning bagel to morning oatmeal would eventually lead me to this stressful, exciting, nearly expired cinnamon oat experience from the DR? Scary because: the Dominican Republic is one of like, 8 countries that has literally no allergy labelling law. (Those poor allergy kiddos.) But this has only oats, cinnamon, and sugar, and it has a contiene trazas de trigo, leche, soja disclaimer! Notably, no nuts there. So, even though I'm not super familiar with the ~labelling landscape~, a quaker product with a non-obligatory label seems like a safe enough bet. More mysteriously, although these are supposedly instantanea, the cooking time is 4-6 minutes (whereas the US instant oats has a cook time of 1 (un) minute). Accordingly it also suggests twice as much water(!!) as the US version, which is already way too much. I never use the full amount of water, so I did my usual 2:1 ratio here. And that was a huge mistake. Lol. It was the most extreme shinkydink pasty crust you ever saw. It also tasted so good. Like burnt applesauce, but oats. Like grits but not gritty. The kiddos who don't die from allergies must be living on cloud nine with this stuff. An oatmeal that doesn't feel like a chore? Maybe it was just the slight fear-based adrenaline making me jolly, but I don't think so. These nearly expired Dominican oats are fire. Now how on earth am I gonna get them up here??! 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 8/10 

Nature's Way Microwavable Sweet Potato

Everyone complains about bread and milk, but my latest contribution to the single-person-household discourse is that if I need 2 sweet potatoes, I can buy plastic-wrapped single serve ones, or a bag of like 50. Anyway, you see my choice. The microwavability did nothing for me, since I had to unwrap this to peel it and chop it and boil it (and put it in a soup). But I admit the pre-washedness was convenient. It was also a large potato with a consistent texture and shape, unlike the wonky ones I get in my veg box. This made it easy to peel but exhausting to cut. The other downside (other than the plastic) is that it wasn't as bright orange as others, and therefore was probably less sweet and/or delicious. But again, it was used in a soup and saturated in broth, so that wasn't an issue for me. It did its job well. Its little slogan ("Doing it best") makes me want to listen to Daft Punk.

 Overall
Cost: 5/10 [1.80ish]
Taste: 6/10

snapple pink lemonade

Whew. I think I'm starting to give myself the placebo effect re: sugar, but it really does help at levelling out my agonies. Good thing my blood sugar is normal (for now)! Anyway, this is a very sweet drink. We're talking like 50g/bottle, although at least there are two servings in there. I never really liked snapple, or any bottled drinks for that matter, but maybe I am growing and changing. Devolving, even. This is like, 2% lemon juice, 97% sugar, 1% colors and flavors, but it's very good. It tastes like a sweet drink, and not artificial, which is hard to find these days. On a ton of ice, it's mighty nice. I'm not sure if it's actually pink, but it probably is! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Haribo Funtastic Mix

This is a fun(tastic) concept because there's a bunch of different shapes (15) and flavors (8), too many to even put on the bag!, which is what I like (see also: Star Mix). And no licorice! But the different kinds aren't really that different. Don't mess with success, I guess, but I wish the flavors were a little more exciting. I finally counted the number and there were 33 gummies, so a serving is approximately 4 (miss me with that 2 Tbsp stuff).

T-Rex: This one is big; purple, and yellow. You get lemon and whatever the purple flavor is. There is also an orange and yellow one and a red and yellow one. Chewy. In the words of teenage goths everywhere, rawr. 6/10

Racecar: Weirdly flat for a racecar; I thought it was some sort of alligator at first. I got orange with white marshmallow bottom, green with white bottom, and red with white bottom. All are good, although the flavors remain somewhat elusive. I eventually looked them up so I can map green=apple, since I think green is the best. 8/10

Robot: I love a (non-LLM) robot. Very cute. It was clear (pineapple) and orange (orange). Tastes like generic gummy. Also had a yellow and red one, which was tastier. Beep boop. 7/10

Turtle: There's a yellow with white bottom, which was like the fried eggs with with a more boring texture and nice lemon flavor, as well as an orange with white bottom. Good. 7/10

Alligator: Similar to the turtle, which I guess makes some kind of sense. There's a yellow with white bottom and a red with white bottom. 7/10 

Snake: This was just plain orange. Surprisingly good. 8/10 

Airplane: Ah yes, the two genders, reptile(y) and vehicle(y). There's a red one, which is boring, and a clear one, which is also boring but a bit tastier. I guess I like pineapple. 6/10 

Whale: I guess whale counts as reptiley. This gummy was as big as a whale! There's a huge flat orange one and a huge flat clear one. Ho hum. 6/10 

Tourist-looking lad: Hmm. My taxonomy is breaking down a bit. A yellow&green one that tastes like Amazing Fruit gummy bears (good), I guess because of the apple, and a yellow&clear one that was somewhat less delicious. 8/10

Worm: Surely reptiley. A fun shape; bumpy. Yellow/green/red mix. 7/10 

Bird: Another reptile. This was yellow/orange. Good. 7/10 

Froggie: Reptile for sure. (I always thought the reptile/amphibian distinction was tricky, anyway). Yellow and white. Good. 7/10 

Iguana: Aha! This is like, actually a retpile. There's a blue/yellow/red combo, which is very tropical, and a green/yellow/red one. Both are good. 7/10  

Flamingo: Uh oh, was this the same as "bird"? My haribo notes are not conclusive enough. It was white and orange, so maybe. Hmm. 6/10 

Bottle: An unconventional vehicle (and candy shape); this isn't a cola bottle, it's like... a baby bottle? Must be some euro business. Lemonade bottle?? OK haribo. It was clear/orange, and just OK. 6/10 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$?]
Taste: 7/10 

Clabber Girl Baking Powder

There's a lot of educational opportunities for me on this can. First of all, "clabber" is an old timey kind of sour milk, which is the acid they used to use for baking powder. Baking powder is double acting when it releases the CO2 to make things rise twice instead of once, and that's extra good for your quick muffins and other such breads you don't want to be yeasty. I don't bake very much, but I do make a lot of stupid little muffins now, and they do indeed rise up quickly, no doubt thanks to this stuff. I can't really compare it to any other baking powder brand since I only get this one; they don't say anything about nut allergens, but I figure it's so basic that they see it as self-evidently nut free (and it's not like I have an alternative, so I chose not to deep dive it)! Lasts a long time, comes with a very convenient half-metal top for measurin', no complaints!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 [tastes like nothing, we hope] 

Air Heads Sour

In the spirit of revenge bedtime procrastination, I engaged in a little revenge candy procuration at CVS today after being charged an insane amount for a prescription. I never liked Air Heads, but they recently (read: in the last 20 years sometime) added a little "peanut and tree nut free" logo on their stuff just like Tootsie, and as blogfans will know, a nut free declaration is enough to woo me. (It also says gluten free, but that's not my circus etc). Anyway, I do like sour candy, so these are pretty decent despite the (a) disgusting airhead texture (melty chew with weird gritty gristle spots) and (b) devastating health profile (ingredients partitioned entirely into artificial colors/flavors, and sugar). On the plus side, these seem smaller than they used to be, which is a positive because one Air Head is a lot, especially when sour. The sourness does make them more interesting. And I appreciate that I'm not dying or afraid I am. I also like the name in an ironic reclamatory way, because despite being academically successful once upon a time (not so much now; hehe lol), I got called an airhead a lot. So the silly little balloon mascot is like my twinsie! : )

Sour Blue Blast: The color is blue, the flavor is blue. Tastes like blue air head, but sour. I dunno what else to say. Makes my teeth want to curl up and die, but my brain want to continue living. Such is life with a sugarbomb. Because it's so hot out, the texture was extra chewy-droopy, but it didn't melt into a gross caramel or goo, so that's a plus. Very floppy. Still gritty, which upsets me. Would eat again of course. 6/10

Sour Lemon Berry Squeeze: What a name. Here the color is yellow, but the flavor is colorless. I guess there's vague lemon in there, but it's mostly just sugar. Not even really that sour. What are we doing here? I think it's worse than Blue. 6/10

Sour Watermelon Punch: The color is teal blue (not green)! The flavor is watermelon, but sour. I guess a tiny bit of punch (aka purple skittle flavor). This is the most complex of the three -- the most nuanced, and therefore the best. I think it's also the least overwhelmingly sweet. Also the least gritty, although that's likely just a fluke. 7/10

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3$?ish]
Taste: 6/10  

utz Classic Mini Twists

I've been doing this random-album-a-day review project (highly recommend, by the way, 10/10) and it's made me really aware of how much my mood and life influences my music ratings. At the same time, I think my food & drink ratings are not (as) susceptible to such things -- more variation comes from freshness/quality (and allergen confidence from servers, at restos). But both kinds of ratings do lend themselves to the strategy of "compare directly to the previous thing you had", and here, I am sorry to say, these mini twists are less good than the Large Thins (which are also twists, in the way that all non-rod pretzels are??). I think that if I had them in the other order, I would still find these to be worse (although I will come back and correct this if it turns out to be false). Because they are small ("mini"), the texture is more full-on bready 'zel, which I disprefer. More mealy, less fun and frivolous. Yes! Less fun, even though they're wee! A slight buttery vibe, which is weird. The color is even a little bit yellow. Maybe CC'd with the butter minis? No allergy concerns, so still a fine (fine meaning "okay", not fine meaning "foine") snack. But probably my last choice for Utz Pretzel, all else (expiry dates, price) being equal. I am happy that they're still innovating new sizes and properties for their osetensibly boring pretzel line, though!

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [2$]
Taste: 6/10 

utz Classic Thins pretzels

A good day to consume utz snacks, as Nabisco's Ritz is in the news yet AGAIN for mis-labelling PB crackers as cheese. Terrifying stuff. And that's a huge company who uses warnings; just think about all the companies you don't hear about and those that are never even noticed. Makes my extreme-in-some-eyes measures feel necessary and validated. I remember when Ritz first came out with PB crackers in the 90s (that's the 1990s for you historians and children) and I thought "well this is gonna be trouble" and I was right!!!! Sidenote: don't read any comments about this or any other allergy-related news if you have allergies yourself. It's worse than reading my evals when it comes to triggering a great depression.

Anyway, on to happier things. From hards to thins, Utz does it all. I didn't think I'd like these, because what's the gimmick? it's just regular pretzels? But maybe I had too many special darks and sourdoughs and whatever else, because these were a nice change of pace. Very light and airy, due to the bigness of the holes. Salty, easy to bite, and a little like eating nothing at all. Maybe they're just fresher than I'm used to. Or saltier. Either way, it's a good pretzel. Bless you utz!!

Overall
Cost: 8/10 [2$]
Taste: 7/10 

Hidden Valley Ranch Cheez-Its

From a non-horrible pickle flavor to a non-horrible ranch flavor! What a world, eh? Maybe I'm just relieved they aren't a weird smokey flavor for once in my cheez-it life. These don't really scream "ranch", to be fair, more like "regular cheez it with some chicken-in-a-biscuit (umami) vibes". Not a super strong flavor, either, which is good since I'm on the fence about it. An appropriate snack for those "I really needed to mow today but it started raining before I got to it so now I'm inside eating cheez-its" evenings. Put that on your Spotify playlist. Alas and/or hooray. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

On the Border Café Style Chips

I should have got some sort of dip; chips are so boring and not great without dip. (I bought these to top tortilla soup, but I didn't yet make the soup!!) Anyway, they taste like tortilla chips. Big salty corn wedges; quite thin; nice opaque yellow color (but sadly, transparent white flavor (think store not restaurant)). I got these for two reasons: they were the cheapest tortilla chip, but also they're made by utz, who declare online that: 

"All our facilities are peanut and tree nut free. We advise that you check the packaging in hand as we have some items that are made by third parties and there will be a declaration noted on the packaging."

That's very good; we love utz for that. A weird thing, though, is that all the other utz's say this on the actual product ("peanut and tree nut free") and this says nothing at all except "gluten free". Presumably just as safe, but then why not say so? My best guess is that utz already has another tortilla chip line ("Tort-I-Yahs" or some nonsense) and so they're trying to make these seem like a different brand entirely, for market variety/economical reasons. It would have worked on me if I didn't have to read every label with a lawyer's eye! 

OK, after a few, I do think these are a little better than the average, mainly for textural reasons: super fine and flaky, like those deep fried egg roll wrappers (🥺). It's delicate! It's got layers! These chips are just like me!

Overall
Cost: 8/10 [2$]
Taste: 6/10 

Goldfish - Spicy Dill Pickle

Pickle is a flavor that's been quite popular in snacks these last few years, and as someone who doesn't like pickles, it's been rough. Usually the pickle snacks are "tangy pickle", though, which means they lean heavy on the sour. This is instead "spicy pickle", which it turns out is a lot more palatable. There's a strong dill flavor, which I don't mind too much (although it is almost soapy for me; I wonder if that's how cilantro is for people?) as well as a good little heat from chili pepper. Also your typical salty goldfish base. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the experience! Good work, gold fish. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats - Cococa

Aww, look at the little mini wheat. He just wants his family to be eaten!! These were on sale for 2 dollars, so I am happy to oblige. I am pretty sure mini wheats used to be like 2.5x as big, which isn't mini at all, so it was probably a good change. These have the classic mini-wheat texture, but unfortunately the cocoa mush inside looks like straight dirt, and that's being charitable. I understand why this flavor exists, since cocoa and cereal go together like holidays and my neighbors setting off fireworks in full daylight, but it isn't very good. Honestly, it's not bad because it's not a strong flavor, and not very sweet either, or even artificial, but kind of like hot cocoa powder (bitter, dry) which isn't my favorite. And I just realised that they probably mean cocoa cocoa and not chocolate cocoa, so it's actually pretty accurate. But that's not what I want to eat. The milk residue is nothing special either, but I've never been into milk, so your mileage may vary. 

Overall
Cost: 8/10 [2$]
Taste: 6/10 

San Pellegrino Ciao! Blood Orange

Ciao! Now we're getting somewhere. As promised, I got after another flavor, and this is a much better one than the cherry. It smells like sweet, sweet candy. It tastes like orangina! Or like some good quality orange juice, watered down and fizzed up (which I guess is exactly what it is). Still a bit fear-and-itch-inducing, but I drank all the cherry ones with no major ill effects, so it's probably just a touch of the old psychosomatism. They made a good move with this line. I'll hit up the lime ones next week if all goes well! Ciao!

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [1$ per can]
Taste: 6/10 

McCormick Black Peppercorn Grinder

Peppercorn is a cute name. So I finally finished off my preground black pepper (with the correct number of holes), and am happy to move on to this grind-it-yourself version. Very fresh pepper taste, and fun too. The reviews of this one are still somewhat bad, mainly regarding the ease of opening, controlling the grind fineness (I just leave things as the default so I can't speak to this), and recycling the inner grinder. Very niche concerns, which means I guess they got the hole size right here. Jolly good.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10