Twinings Pure Peppermint Tea

Moderation is not king. Either eating a single cookie destroyed me, or the stress that eating a single cookie could destroy me destroyed me. Tragically, I still want to disambiguate by eating more cookies, but I can't, because I have a job to (badly) do. So my cookie experiments will wait a few months more. In the meantime, I somehow consumed 20 bags of Bigelow mint tea, so I figured we can get our jollies by trying the Twinings mint tea. They have the same ingredients ("peppermint") and the same allergy policy (top 9 free), but this one is a cuter box, even though you can't really tell from the picture. It's a nice green. 

How is the tea? You may be shocked to hear that it tastes almost indistinguishable from the Bigelow peppermint tea. It smells a little stronger, though: first like mint (makes sense) and then a little like a bowling alley (not sure what's going on there). I say it tastes almost indistinguishable because I feel it's a little less sharp, with a little less (yes, even less!!) flavor. This is only my first cup, so I should really check back in a month, but for now I think Twinings > Bigelow. Neither brand seems to have any other teas I can consume presently, but I only did a shallow dive into the catalog, so we'll check back later to see what else we can scrounge up to get through the long autumn. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [4$]
Taste: 6/10

Fancypants S'mores Cookies

Moderation is king, so there's nothing wrong with just trying one of these cookies to see how it goes, right? Well, we'll see. Anyway, it was good. Very very similar to all the other cookies (buttery, sweet, crispy) but a little fruitier and chocolateyier. Definitely tastier than the birthday cake ones. Is it worth ruining my ability to go through the day without vommin'? Not quite, so let's hope it doesn't!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Martinelli's Pear Cider

Must be pear drink season! Suddenly I went from never trying a single pear drink to trying two in one week (so far). But this guy also has apple mixed in (classic cider move). Pear is a much better apple juice complement than cherry was. And this is much less weird-smelling than the pear juice that didn't sparkle. I've been feeling a little manic lately, even though I am still abstaining from sweet sweet coffee, so I thought maybe it's because my health is (slightly, slowly) improving. But in retrospect, it's maybe just because I've increased my sugar intake substantially. But maybe I've done that because my health is improving! Or maybe those supplements have finally come home to roost? Or maybe the brain diet is real! Or maybe these are all totally unrelated factors and enough neurons finally melted? Listen, I'm not a doctor. I'm just a pear devotee (née strudel devotee). But I enjoyed this as a fun sweet drink. Not too overpoweringly sweet to taste, but extremely sweet compared to Plain Rice et al.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Frosted Flakes with vanilla flavored marshmallows

You might think this is something I wanted, but really I wanted regular frosted flakes and this was less than half the price of regular ones. Similar story with the marshmallowed froot loops -- maybe Dr. Marsh's kid just got hired at Kellogg's. Anyway, these taste like regular frosted flakes (good, no forbidden ingredos) with somewhat bad chewy marshmallows mixed in. They certainly don't add anything, even though I'm not a marshmallow hater. I used to always wheedle my parents into getting Marshmallow Alpha-Bits as a kiddo and that was one of my earliest "omg they discontinued my beloved" experiences! These, on the other hand, are ripe for discontinuation. But it's not bad as a cereal, it's just we made a tasty cereal somewhat worse, which is unfortunate. The price of innovation!

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [2$]
Taste: 6/10

fancypants Birthday Cake Cookies

I'm following the letter of the law if not the spirit with these cookies -- white chocolate isn't really chocolate, and there's no citrus! Unfortunately, they are birthday cake flavored, which is a historically disprefered-by-me flavor. They smell like my mom's white chocolate chunk cookies though, which I used to like a lot (before my macadamia-and-walnut allergies took shape). They taste very similar to all the other fancypants cookies! Even though it's been a month or so since I tried the other flavors, this is very evocative of those ones. Which is good, because it means it's more "brown butter sugar cookie" and less "birthday cake". I wish the white chocolate chunks were a little chunkier, but otherwise there's nothing I'd change (although they taste more like funfetti cookies make with cake mix than actual cake, which again is fine by me)!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Gerber Pear Juice

This is a baby juice. It is in the baby aisle and not the grocery aisle where adult products are. But listen, it is impossible to find pear juice otherwise!! I even looked on bad bad Amazon and the cheapest bottle you can get (other than Gerber) was 30+ dollars including shipping. That is too many dollars for juice. Plus the ingredients are just pear juice and water, so like, just because there's a baby on it doesn't mean it's a special thing. I feel very defensive about this issue. Anyway, I never had pear juice before, so I was curious to try it. It's OK. The smell is pretty horrible (rotting? floral?) but the taste is pleasant enough. Nothing to write home about, but muddled with basil/mint and sparkling-watered up, it's a nice "mocktail". Honestly, maybe I should see what other kinds of products are available in the baby aisle.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$]
Taste: 6/10

Ocean Spray Sparkling Cranberry Juice Cocktail

Mm, cocktails. But no, this is just cranberry-grape fizzy juice. It's in a nice slim can, and brain-diet-approved, but the reason I usually stick with 100% cranberry juice is not because it's lower sugar (I think it is clear that I enjoy sugary candies, chocos, cereals, etc) but instead because grape juice tastes bad. And this tastes like fizzy grape juice. It turns out years of wine drinking did not change my long-held opinion of grape juice. However, it is something to consume!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Froot Loops with Marshmallows

Froot Loops must really be having an identity crisis with all these variants. Luckily, this one is just regular froot loops with some bad chewy marshmallows thrown in. In my opinion, you might as well just have regular froot loops. But the loops are sweet and crunchy and pleasant, so I still enjoyed it. I think I had a non-cereal jumbo snack version of these a while ago, actually. Those were fine also. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [2$]
Taste: 7/10

Pictsweet Farms Sliced Brussels Sprouts

Some of my best friends are... PictSweet. JK, I've never heard of (nor even perceived) this brand before. But I have gotten very bored of my present frozen veg rotation, and I am extremely limited in my options (as the blog-reading crowd shouts "we know!"). This was super expensive for a frozen veg, especially since the only seasonings are salt, pepper, and oil, which I can easily apply myself, but it's the simpleness of the ingredients that allowed me to buy it, so there you go. I got super into the balsamic birds eye(?) brussels sprouts for a while because they were on clearance, but these are somewhat less flavorful. What they lack in nuance, they make up for in A Lot Of Salt and Pepper. I am not someone who puts a ton of salt and pepper on food (usually just a medium amount of pepper and red pepper), so take my reaction with a grain of salt, but there's like, an awful lot of grains of salt and pepper. I can hardly taste the Brussels! They also say to use 3 (!!!) tablespoons of oil, which I did because I didn't want a massive smoke alarm situation, but I think I could have used 2 and been fine. Quantity quibbles aside, these are tasty and brussels sprouts. I don't even miss the balsamic that much. I would definitely get these again on sale, but otherwise it's going to be a rare treat. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [6$]
Taste: 7/10

Martinelli's Sparkling Blush

I got this months ago for my dear studos (because it is engrained in me as the canonical non-alcoholic celebratory drink) but they did not drink it! Now their wisdom is clear to me, because it isn't very good. It is, however, citrus free, so in my hour of desperation to find things to review, I am celebrating my first day home alone in many months with some Sparkling Blush Cider. It's blush because of cherry juice, apparently, and spoiler alert: cherry juice sucks. Or maybe apple juice sucks. Or maybe the combo creates a unique suckitude (since I'm in my 90s throwback era). Basically, the taste is mildly unpleasant in a fermenty kind of way. But the sparkling is fun (it's extremely fizzy, but a soft fizz, not an aggro one), and the color is pretty, and wasn't I just yearning for a sweet drink? I guess it's true what they say: the best cure for yearning is to get the thing you're yearning for. 🙃

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Froot Loops Rainbow Sherbet Scoops Cereal

That's right, this is a trashy packaged food that is brain diet approved! No citrus, no raisin, no choco, only Weird Chemicals That Make It Feel Cold (=calcium carbonate, apparently). Heck yeah. Do I have a will to live again because I bought this cereal, or did I buy this cereal because I have a will to live again? It is almost unknowable. Anyway, this has terrible reviews, which excites me. It's a normal size box (6 servings aka 3 servings) and was on super sale, presumably because of the terrible reviews. But it isn't bad, it's just weird. Not much relationship to froot loops except the color, they taste very generic sweet cereal ball. But they do have a cooling sensation! It's weird! And it goes in the milk, too! Quite a novelty. Did it need to exist? I grew up in the era of purple ketchup, so if you ask me: yes it needed to exist. It didn't taste minty, but I guess some people thought it did because that's the only cooling sensation their tiny minds can comprehend (just kidding... kinda). Not really delicious and certainly not nutritious, but I still enjoyed it. I daresay I'd enjoy it even if it weren't the first trashy food I've had in a hot minute.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [1.50$]
Taste: 6/10

San Pellegrino Sparkling Water

This was the only single serve sparkling water at my grocery store, would you believe it? The flavored ones have taken over! I was looking for Perrier or Topo Chico, but this is actually completely fine and maybe even better than those would have been. Anyway, I don't particularly like fizzy drinks, but I am so listless with my current drink selection that adding this to juices has really livened up my life. It has a great fizz and no real flavor to speak of. And it has a nice screwtop so you can even use it more than once. It's a 24oz bottle, so it's a decent size. Paying for water always seemed weird to me, but then again, maybe you can think of it as paying for the fancy glass bottle.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2.50]
Taste: 6/10

O Organics Frozen Wild Blueberries

More frozen fruit! I made these into juice, though. Big juice era for me. They weren't really noticeable different than un-wild blueberries, but maybe there was a bit more tartness and red color among them. Honestly the flavor was also weaker than I'd hope. Maybe frozen fruit is just that way. They stained my shirt due to some overenthusiastic mixing, so I will remember them forever (or until I throw out my shirt, which, knowing me, will be a long time from now). 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [6$ -- they were sold out of the nonorganics!!]
Taste: 6/10

Golden Blossom Honey

Today has been a pretty emotional day, but I can't have any delicious vices and I'm too weary to cook anything, so I put some honey in my ginger juice. Jury's still out on the juice, but this honey is nice. It says that it's peanut & nut free on the back, which makes sense as the ingredients are Honey (full stop), but is still a comforting reassurance. If somebody said that nail polish was nut free, I'd like that too. It tastes like honey and had no unexpected badnesses. The only downside is that the bottle is not shaped like a bear. But it lasts forever and is a nice citrus-and-chocolate-free way to add sweetness to things!

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [8$]
Taste: 7/10

bfruitful strawberries

How many freeze dried fruit companies can the market hold?! Surely there are enough already! Surely! The name "bfruitful" is not my favorite. But it's OK. The product is, you'll never believe this, exactly the same as all the other freeze dried strawberries. That is to say, it's fine. Maybe a little more crumbled than others, which is not good. It's no fresh strawberry, but again, it's fine.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Signature Select Frozen Sliced Peaches

I was pleased enough with frozen blueberries, so I tried these frozen peaches. I like fresh peaches! But these tasted like nothing. To be fair, I made a peach milkshake with them, and so maybe the recipe was just bad or I didn't blend it enough or defrost them or something. But I was definitely disappointed. Maybe if I baked them into a pastry they would be more delicious. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

DeLallo Whole Wheat Orzo

Well well well. I usually don't like orzo, and while the whole wheat pastas are acceptable, I usually prefer the taste of the unwhole wheat. But somehow, this was better than other orzos and better than other wheat pasta shapes. I suppose the smallness means you can't taste much, which in this case is good. I am in such a bad place physically and/or mentally that I messed up making this the first time in so many ways (burner wasn't on, spilled half the bag, accidentally poured pepper out the big hole and not the little holes) and so it took almost an hour to do this 8-minute-pasta-cooking, but I was pleased to find the endeavor worthwhile after all the bother. Also the bag is compact which is good for travel (which I must do due to all the doctors I must see and my inabilty to drive myself to them)!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Gerbs Lightly Sea Salted Roasted Snow White Pumpkin Seeds (In Shell)

Oh boy. I still can't drive, see, or think, but my hope for improvement is such that I still haven't quit my job, but I really can't do my job. It's not good! I also have a lot of rage that I'm misdirecting. And these pumpkin seeds are one more unfortunate beneficiary of that rage. They are in-shell, which is my preference, and they're totally allergen free and safe for all dumb diets. But they tasted weird. On the one hand, a lot of food has been tasting "off" for me over the last few weeks because of all the meds I'm on, but on the other other hand, the Gerbs tomatoes were really weird and bad, so I think it's likely that the badness in these seeds is from the seeds and not from me. Other than the weird off taste (kind of rancid? chemically? bitter? acrid? moldy? I'm not sure how to describe it), and corresponding weird off smell, these were filling and I need to keep my blood sugar level (ha ha) so I appreciated them in my time of need (office hours). But they are bad. Filling yet bad. I miss the days of not filling yet delicious! Maybe someday, friends.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (20$ for a big bag)
Taste: 6/10

A La Mode Sea Salt Caramel Ice Cream

It's September! Soon it will have been 4 whole months since my brain turned into Wild Wooly. To celebrate, I had this absurdly expensive nut-free ice cream. It's pretty great. The taste is caramelly throughout (not particularly salty, but I guess there's a little saltiness to it), and there are a few swirled pockets of concentrated caramel to add excitement to the proceedings. Of course it's kind of plain for my preference (I yearn for mix-ins, textural shifts, choco, etc), but otherwise still very good. Hooray, sugary treats!

Overall
Cost: 2/10 (~14$)
Taste: 8/10