Sam Adams Porch Rocker

Like the other summer SamAdamses, this is just all right. It tastes like a Leiny Summer Shandy, which I used to adore back in the early 2010s, but now I think: it's just all right. Love that it's nut free though.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

2020 Ventisquero Chardonnay Reserva

This was a fine chardo. Pretty fizzy, thin, a little acidic, tropical fruity, sweet. It was OK warm and cold, but maybe a little degraded cold. I think now I'm in a red-wine mood, so this didn't impressa me much, but it was totally fine. Screw top is good, weird hanging label tag is weird, allergy info is nonexistent, recommended food pairing is fishy. So it goes!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [17$]
Taste: 6/10

Sam Adams Summer Ale

Sam Adams is nut free (OK, and I just learned from looking at this bottle that they're called Samuel Adamses instead, but nobody calls em that, right?!), so I am a fan. Honestly, this was in a summer sampler and the ones that I tried from the sampler all tasted basically the same: mild wheaty beers, not a ton of hops, mild citrus. Not earth-shattering, but certainly drinkable, and seems appropriate for summer. Which is now over :'(

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

PopCorners White Cheddar

I really like these! They're small triangular chip-type things, with lots of air bubbles. They have copious white cheddar powder, which tastes like the powder you'd get on a white cheddar popcorn, which is a treat I don't get too often, so it made me like these quite a lot. And, they're nut free (explicitly)! This is very good. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Orbit Sweet Mint Gum

Ah, back in middle school when I was Gum Queen, this was one of my favorites. Of course, at the time I don't think all these gums were sugar free yet, and sugar free gum is so gross to me. But there aren't many non-sugar-free options left. To be honest, this is good for sugar free gum. The taste is, as described, sweet and mint. I like the taste and the texture/size are also pretty good. Smells nice too. Just might make you poo for weeks, who can say.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

2020 Cellier des Chartreux "Le Grand Prébos" Cabernet Sauvignon

I enjoyed this a lot, which surprised me because it's a cabsav and I associate that with "yuck, parent wine". And it wasn't allergy info'd or screw top'd or any of the wine things I enjoy. But here's a little secret: I watched the survivor premiere while I drank this! And it was sweet and juicy. Then I waited 3 days, drank this cold with the Cheesy Stuffed Tomatoes I made (see image below), and it was also quite enjoyable! Impressed that it held up so well, impressed in general with the ~vibes~ I got from this one. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [17$]
Taste: 7/10

1911 Original Cider

 I'm not sure that "1911" is a great name of a company, especially since I thought it was "911" until I tried to look it up (which, to be fair, is a far worse name). This is pretty high alc for a cider, and a little bit sour and not tooooo sweet. So actually for a hard cider it's not bad. But I would still rather have a nice beer.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Dunkin' Bottled Iced Coffee - Coconut Caramel

Oh Dunkin, I just can't quit you, even if you're a Coca Cola bottled drink with 030000 grams of sugar. This definitely had a strong caramel flavor, and minor coconut notes too. Not really reminiscent of the girl scout cookie (as I recall), but that's likely due to the fact that this is just way too sweet and milky.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

efrutti Mini Burger Gummi

Foods that make you ask "how did I get here?", "is this a food?"...

Gummi Burger was not as bad as I feared. It was extremely similar to the Gummy Hot Dog by the same company. That is, a sweet and fine chewy thing. The bun is slightly less fruity than the innards, but the texture was roughly the same. It was fine. But c'mon, this is a novelty and not a food. Nut free though!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

2020 Ventisquero Sauvignon Blanc Reserva

This looks classy, doesn't it? No allergy info though. But a screw top with a little label sticking out, I do like that. Now that I'm in a bit of SauviB routine, I can compare this directly to its peers, and I'd say that taste-wise, it comes out looking pretty good! It was slightly sweeter and less acidic than other SBs, although it had the same basic tropical fruit flavor profile. Maybe a bit less "guava" and more "limon", which I like. Similar vibes warm and cold, which I also like. Solid 2-nighter.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [17$]
Taste: 7/10

Swedish Fish - mini

I never realised that the fish say "Swedish" on them, that's hilarious. Well, in any case, this bag of mini (although not that small?) fish was a little weird tasting. I remember liking Swedish Fish, so that's why I'm thinking/hoping I got a flukey bad batch. It was very chemical/plasticy tasting, along with the usual odd mineral-oil-ness that I think is typical of the Swedish Fish. The flavor past that is just "red", kind of like a hawaiian punch. I hope a future fresher bag can up the rating, but for now, this product was crap.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

2019 Yali Wetland Sauvignon Blanc Reserva

I'm starting to get a feel for Sauvignon Blancs now, and this fits right into that prototype. Still no allergy info, but since I had a red Yali I assumed this white Yali would be OK, and it was. It did make me really tingly feeling on first drink, though! And despite the screwtop, it was super hard to open. I guess what really matters is the taste, and in general I do like SauviBs -- they're quite acidic, but they're also full of tropical fruit vibes, which I like. No food pairing today, since it goes with forbidden ceviche, but it was still a good experience, warm and cold both.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [16$]
Taste: 6/10

Enjoy Life Soft Baked Cookies - Oatmeal Raisin

Hey, a new Enjoy Life product! Most of their stuff is really "meh" for me, but I do like the breakfast ovals and chocolate, so I thought I'd give these a shot. And in fact, they taste good! But they are SO freakin' small, haha. Basically they taste like a solid oatmeal raisin cookie, albeit a little dry, and the shape is a sphere instead of, you know, a cookie, but the flavor is there. Would eat, but would think "why so small and round though?".

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Rice Krispies

I have always mentally sorted these as a "bland, unfun cereal" because compared to Rice Krispies Treats cereal, there's like no flavor or texture or sugar to speak of. My categorization holds up, I think, but these are OK in a pinch. Definitely underwhelming, flavor-wise, but the popping they do in milk is fun. So you gotta have milk for these! And a decent amount of the best pickle, hunger.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls - Original Icing

These came out well! Honestly, all the different types of cinnamon rolls are basically interchangeable to me, so I think I like the small ones and the small packs best, since I'm liable to eat too many at once. This particular 8-pack cooks fully in 10 minutes, and has a good texture and good taste. They're nice and sticky! 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Dunkin' Iced Coffee - thin mints

This was OK - definitely had a minty flavor, which I enjoy, but it was massively overwhelmed by the typical sugary milk flavor of all these bottled coffee drinks. Plus, I added ice because duh, but the ice in my freezer is kinda gross lately, so that didn't help things. It's no fresh dunkin, that's for sure.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Pringles Original

Compared to most flavored versions, these are vastly inferior Pringles. I admit, I liked them a lot when I was on vacation with my boyf's family and they were in a tiny kid-size container, but when you have more of them and you aren't anxious and hungry, it's clear they are a little bit bad. Definite Lays-cat-litter vibe. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Cheddar Cheese Pringles

These taste pretty similar to other 'good' pringles, like sour cream and onion. I guess they do have a cheesy coating, but it also has a little sweet tanginess about it, which is kind of weird. They aren't my favorite flavor, but when I had them after a long day's work, they were great. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Downeast Blackberry Cider

This cider is from Boston, which makes me depressed. I was thinking momentarily, I shouldn't still be sad about a rejection 3 months later, but actually 3 months isn't that long to be depressed. It's like, if they didn't make me think I'd got the job, it wouldn't be so bad! Damn! 

I don't have much to say about the cider though. It was fine, I drank it. Cider is as cider is. I wish I had one now. I am Sad.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Giant Mini Blueberry Muffins

Hehe, Giant Mini is a funny combination. Anyway, these are exciting. Anytime I see nut free desserts, you know I gotta check it out. I wish I had a Giant by me, but instead I need to hoard these like a deviant whenever I hit up my boyf's local grocery. And these were definitely tasty to eat - but they weirdly taste a lot like cake, and not muffins. I guess they're sweet, but it's also a texture thing too. Obviously cake is tasty, but maybe I'd prefer a moister, denser muffin. Still, I'm very into it and will return to the Giant Mini Muffin fields as soon as possible.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

2018 Yali Wetland Carménère Reserva

Apparently, this here Carmenere grapey is supposed to be drunk within the first few years of bottling, so I'm flirting with sub-optimal taste on this one. I can't really be blamed, though, as I just got it a few weeks ago. And boy, I was expecting a typical red, since it's 15% Syrah, but this was really strikingly different from your generic red. Heavy flavors of, let's say, earth? Herbal, spicy, leathery, ashy, all those sorts of umami flavors. It was disconcerting, but not bad, per se, just very unusual. Not my favorite, though. It did turn out a bit better cold - maybe that tempered the herbiness, in addition to my brain having some time to know what to expect.

I paired this with the recommended Beef Sliders with Provolone and Balsamic Onions, which were good! And a good pairing. Of course my burgers were still red inside after 10 minutes, so I had to cook them way more than the recipe indicated, but the taste was good and toasting the buns was great. Even the onion worked well. I didn't have aioli, but ketchup worked too! Happy Labor Day to covid-life-sleepy-me.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [16$]
Taste: 5/10

Frosted Raspberry Pop-Tarts

Ahh, pop tarts. So many flavors you have. This was fine, but not my favorite flavor of P'Tart. Maybe I'm just finally petering out of my poptart phase? In any case, these are very sweet, as they all are, and not especially complex flavor-note-wise. Very pretty colors though.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

efrutti Gummy Hot Dog

Ew, right? Who decided this was a good idea? You have to marvel at the spectacle of it, I suppose, but I don't think this is anyone's go-to candy (or at least I hope not). However, it is nut free, which I have to give efrutti props for. The cute design(?) is not paired with a biteable candy, though - it's very chewy and firm. The "bun" has a slightly different taste (creamier??) and texture (softer??) than the inside bits, but overall it's just generic chewy sweet. Really not for me, despite the nut freeness. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Honey Kix

My boyf's mom got these for me, which was very nice. I do like cereal, and I've been on a year-long Kix kick. Sadly I think these are a little inferior to regular flavor Kix (and way inferior to our lord Berry Berry), but they're still solid. The honey flavor isn't especially strong, so they're pretty much just kix with a slight sweetness to them. Same reliable shape and texture! Corn balls.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

2019 Cellier des Chartreux "Le Chant du Merle" Merlot

Merlot really is a classic, and I know I shouldn't be this way, but I think I like the wine types I'm familiar with better than I like the more unique ones. This has a Thicc Body, nice warm cherry and oak flavors. It was pretty good cold, too, which is rare for a red. Of course, no allergy info from this French creator, but the cork was look-up-able and it seems to be made from sugarcane, which is kind of cool. In general, this was a good wine that I enjoyed drinking. 

I paired it with the Cast-Iron Pizza with Fennel and Sausage, which was an adventure in itself since every italian sausage I could find had fennel in it, and I have always thought I might be allergic to fennel. But fennel just tastes like anise, so maybe I'm just allergic to anise!? You can read more about this particular drama in my forthcoming sausage review, but long story short, the sausage of 3-hours-ago has not killed me yet. It was also scary to work with raw meat again, and a cast iron pan! So hard to clean properly!! But the pizza was honestly delicious, especially the crust and sauce. And super filling too, so I have more left. I should have made it prettier looking for the records, but alas, it is what it is. Good pairing.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [17$]
Taste: 6/10

Dove Promises - Milk Chocolate

I like these a lot, but "promises" is a weird name. Sounds like a hygiene product or something. I wonder if it is a tie-in to the fun quotes and messages that they print on the wrappers (such as: "Eat more chocolate"), but those aren't really what I'd consider Promises, maybe more like Advices and Inspirations. Inspirations is a better name. I'm a linguist. So, OK. These are fun because of the size and the sayings, and this flavor is nut-free, and they're also creamier than a Hershey nugget/kiss. Basically they're good, although a bit pricy on the reg.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Haribo Happy Cola

These are a classic haribo thing, so I was excited to try them. They really do taste just like Coca-Cola. Not pepsi, coke! However, I do not like Coca Cola and these are hard gummies so the texture+taste combo is a bit weird. Very impressive flavor match, though. And cute bottle shaped gummies!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10