Kellogg's Froot Loops

I'm not sure why I have the inclination to call this "Kellogg's Froot Loops" instead of just Froot Loops, but I guess it's the result of a lot of commercials I watched as a kiddo. Like Post Raisin Bran. Anyway, look at that spelling of Fruit, what a lark!

So this is a solid sweet kids cereal that's really held up over the years. A lot of my childhood favorite cereals have either been discontinued (Marshmallow Alpha Bits, Berry Berry Kix, Rice Krispie Treats Cereal) or changed a lot (Trix), but Froot Loops are just as I remember them. They have a good crispiness level and don't sog up too quickly. The taste is sweet, bright, and fruity. I'm sure they aren't very healthy, but you can tell that from the front of the box. A nice safe choice on vacation at hotels, too!

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$]
Taste: 7/10

SunRype FruitSource - Apple Mango Strawberry Carrot

Gosh, this bar was tHiCk! Thicker than their other ones, even the one I said was thick before. But I think it's a good thing. This is almost like a cross between fruit leather and a protein bar, made only of fruit (and carrot) juice. The texture isn't as chewy and sticky as their other stuff, which is nice. The taste is also pleasant, I guess it tastes mostly of apples and nondescript fruit...maybe even peach/pear though those aren't ingredients! It's tasty and marginally filling, and not as sweet as other fruit snacks, so I liked it. A very quick eat though.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 (1$ish)
Taste: 6/10

Bird's Eye Three Cheese Chicken

This is so inferior to a noodle packet with veg, yet it's 4 times the price! What a racket. But somehow I still bought it, because like a dum-dum I thought it'd be a good idea to change things up.

The noodles in here are the radiatore noodles Bird's Eye used to make in a great box meal! I like the noodle shape. The veg (broc, corn, carrot) are also well done, no gross frozen veg flavor. The sauce is OK, but honestly a cheese sauce could be so much better (see: noodle packets). The worst part is definitely the chicken, it's super gross and chewy and soy-filled and I hate it. If you eat around the chicken, this is a fine meal, but not near filling or special enough to be worth the price.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [5.60 on sale!]
Taste: 5/10

2016 Nexo Garnacha

Honestly, I don't review wine that often because apart from a few standouts, they pretty much all taste the same to me (I know, so uncultured!) - at first too bitter, then I get tipsy and I'm way into it. So it goes. But this has been a crazy stressful week, so while I haven't tried any new foods, I have tried this new wine. Thus, a review.

The label art (do you call it that for wine?) is very pretty, I like the tree and the bird a lot. I was sad to see that this came with a cork instead of a screwtop, because that's a bit of extra effort for me, but the cork did its job and the wine seemed fresh. It's a pretty classic red wine to me, although maybe a little sweeter than others, and the tasting notes said it wasn't super fruity but to me I actually got a subtle cherry flavor. I'm almost done with the bottle by now (two nights in, thank you), so I'd say it's fairly drinkable. Good for Survivor premiere day!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Michael Angelo's Chicken Parmigiana

My boyf said this lasts him 3 meals, but L O L because this is one meal for yours truly. It's 3 ~300cal servings, so maybe it would be good meal for 2 people. Anyway, this is supposed to be made in the oven, but from how it tasted (like a microwave meal) I feel like making it in the microwave would be exactly the same, but faster. The chicken patties are typical frozen chicken parm patties, not terrible but definitely a lot of "filler" in them too. Cheese on top is good. The noodles are too mushy and the sauce is fine. It's not great but it's worse than, like, Pat's. I dunno, maybe I'm just not a family size meal fan because I know I'll eat it all and that's a bad scene.


Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Mrs. T's Spicy Jalapeño & Sharp Cheddar Pierogies

After a long day, there's nothing I crave more than....spicy pierogies? Hmmm. That's not right. As you may know, I prefer noodle + rice + bread all over potato, so these noodles full of potato never "hit the spot" for me like they seem to for other people. But they're cheap, and this is a fun new flavor, so let's try it out. The box gives 3 cooking options - saute (actually fry), boil, or bake. Saute was listed first, so I went with that, adding them to a pan with vegetable oil. This always smells like pancakes to me, so it was already a little weird. I've also never had someone else's pierogies outside my family, so I don't even know how they're supposed to be. I always have them boiled, so fried was wild! The outside got crunchy, but good, like a restaurant or somethin'. The inside basically tastes like jalepeno flavored mashed potatoes, and I do like the jalepeno flavor, it's good. Not sure where the sharp cheddar is, I guess it's that "pierogie" flavor I get. These are kind of fun to eat, and they're OK, but I get the impression they're supposed to be more of a treat than they are. I'd rather have ravioli or mashed potatoes, not both. But they're OK. A little spicy, but not overwhelming. 4 is a good serving size, and each box has 12, so it's a good value.

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10

Pepperidge Farm Farmhouse - Thin & Crispy Milk Chocolate Chip Cookies

These are basically what they say they'll be - thin and crispy chocolate chip cookies. They taste exactly like the Mrs Thinster's chocolate chip cookies, super buttery flavor and crispy. I liked those a lot, but I was less excited by these even though they tasted exactly the same - not sure why. I might prefer the thicker PepFarm cookies, like Nantucket or something, because then you get actual chocolate chunks and it seems more like a fresh cookie, if that makes sense. These are more like a packaged cookie, which they are, and they taste good and are better for portion control, but maybe I'm not in a super cookie mood right now. Anyway, buttery and thin, tastes good.



Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3.00$]
Taste: 7/10

enjoy life soft baked mini cookies - double chocolate brownie

Ah, Enjoy Life. So classic. You can really tell these cookies are gluten free, not just from the taste (kind of grainy, with that spicy konjac background) but from the texture as well. These are small dense orbs, almost like raw dough, and not really a conventional cookie at all. They do have a slight similarity to those Little Bites packs of mini brownies, though. There's a strong chocolatey flavor, which is pleasant, and even though the choco chips don't really stand out from the overall choco ball, you definitely get the sense you're eating a dessert. Which is nice, and if I were gluten free maybe I'd appreciate it more. As it is, these are pleasant but I'd never seek them out (basically the Enjoy Life party line for me).

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Bertolli Italian Sausage Pasta Sauce

To be honest, this reminds me of a pasta sauce you'd get at Olive Garden or some lower tier Italian chain. But that doesn't mean I don't like it - it's pretty solid. You can definitely taste the romano cheese in there. The sausage comes in little soft orbs, which sounds gross but is ultimately fine. There are some tomato pieces too, but the overall flavor is probably spicy sausage and cheese. I guess I haven't tried many Bertolli sauces on their own (maybe in a frozen meal?) but the base seems fairly standard, maybe a little sweet for my taste but with the extra sausage flavor in there it's less noticeable. I'd get this again if it were on sale again!


Overall
Cost: 6/10 [2.50]
Taste: 6/10

Newman's Own - Harvest Vegetable Thin & Crispy Pizza

Doesn't this guy make salad dressings? But whatever, I was in a pizza mood and I wanted one with veg on it. I'm not totally sure if mushroom and pepper really counts as veg, but it's the best I could do in the frozen pizza aisle. Plus, only 270 * 3 calories, which is decent for a pizza of this size. You know the crust will be thin, but I don't have any problem with that, since most frozen pizza crust is terrible. Anyway, this was solid! The mushrooms were a little watery, and it wasn't like, amazing, but I enjoyed it plenty and would definitely pick it up again. No weird meat feelings, sauce was minimal and unobtrusive, and cheese seemed decent. Nice.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

The Better Chip - Jalepeño & Cilantro

These are tortilla chips! Or corn chips, in any case. They're square, which is very cool, but they're still corn chips, which is an inferior chip. Anyway, they are good for corn chips. The squares are nice and dense/thick, so they don't break easily. They also have a nice spicy jalepeno flavor, and the aftertaste is pleasant too. The seasoning would be good in any taco-like environment. I also realized that I've had chips from this brand before (and liked them), they've changed their packaging so I didn't notice! A tasty and spicy snack, probably good for dipping, but not as tasty as a potato chip, perhaps. I can't speak to the health factor - they don't seem that healthful, but they say "the better chip", so maybe they are and I'm just dumb.


Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Simply Orange Juice

I'm not a huge juice drinker, more of a drink-mixer, but sometimes I get a small craving for OJ (usually when I'm scared of the cold/flu). These pulp-free Simply juices are some of my favorites. They're still a lot of sugar for me, but the consistency is good - not too thick or thin, and the flavor is a nice solid orange juice flavor.  I got the small size and I still really only wanted half of it, because it's so much in a little package! 170 calories! Gosh! I enjoyed it, though, and I also like the revised orange logo on the package, I think it looks much more stylish than the old one. Don't really care for the "non GMO" label, but I guess it sells.


Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Hungry-Man Roasted Carved White Meat Turkey

I can't believe I haven't reviewed this before! It's the quintessential Hungry Man dinner. Other shocks: they changed the corn to mixed veggies, there's a hyphen in Hungry-man?!, and this is only 410 calories. Maybe they should change the name to Healthy Man. Except definitely not, because this is full of sodium, soy protein, and not much ~real food~. I will say that it was quite filling for 410 calos, and also that it's changed a LOT since I remember it last (mostly for the worse, sadly).

So: the veggies are a small portion of carrot/corn/green bean. Just like 2 spoons full. They taste decent, a little buttery, but not as good as corn. The potatoes are very "from a powder that I put too much water in" tasting, but potatoes in gravy are ultimately potatoes in gravy. The stuffing is only a few pieces, it seemed OK. The turkey is 3 decent sized circles, but they're kind of like warm lunchable turkey. Highly processed, a little itchy, but not terrible. The dessert has no crumble, only 2 spoons of a sweet red juice with a few cranberry/apple mini chunks. It was fine. Honestly this was all OK and easy and filling and low-cal for a dinner, so if it's on sale it's not the worst thing. But I can't in good conscience recommend it, either, since no part of it was what I'd call "good". C'est la vie.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [2.50$]
Taste: 5/10

Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce

Look, is Sriracha overrated? In my view, yes - or at least it was when I was in college, it seems like the hype may have died down. But that doesn't mean it's not good. It's a spicy chili sauce, a little bit sweet, a little bit salt/vinegar/garlicy too, but mainly you just taste chilis. I like it on sandwiches, or even with scrambled egg and pepper (new discovery!) or even mixed with mayo (shocking discovery). Not a big fan of it on pasta or rice dishes, even "asian" ones. Used to get it on my Roots bowls (veg/grain bowls) which added a nice kick of heat but also seemed to give me terrible stomach cramps. So I guess moderation is key. It doesn't seem that hot to me when I'm eating it, but after I'm done I always get a bit sniffly and mouth-burny. In a good way, though. Probably good if you have a cold! I think this is also called Rooster sauce but that's silly, it's not made of rooster.

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10

Pop Secret 94% Fat Free Butter Popcorn

The good thing about popcorn - it's so convenient! The bad thing - it gets stuck in your teeth for days. Everything else is in-between. It's not super bad for you, but not really GOOD for you. It tastes decent, but not that decadent. It reminds me of my childhood, but it reminds me of my childhood. And so on. This brand is OK, I think I like it better than the store brand actually. The cook time is mad short (2 min?) and it doesn't burn. There's maybe 30 unpopped kernels; c'est la vie. The taste is pretty standard. A little butter flavor, but it isn't oily or greasy. Fairly salty. What you'd hope for in a lite butter version, I think. Also seems like slightly smaller bags than I've had in the past, which is good or means that I like it more, which is still good. So, a good pick I think.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Uncle Ben's Original Long Grain Rice

This is my go-to rice; I always make sure to have a massive bag of it in the cabinet. It is the only plain rice I've bought that doesn't have a weird or distracting taste, that doesn't clump, and that is effortless to cook. Yay rice! On its own it's still just rice, but as a side to any Asian-y meal or as a base for fried rice it's so solid. Plus, it makes like....dozens of servings, each extremely filling, for like 10 dollars. And all you need is water and a clean pot. Rice is good.

Overall
Cost: 9/10
Taste; 8/10

Red Baron - Cheese Trio Pizza

I live alone so I can actually use the oven now! It won't set off the smoke alarms! :O

OK, OK. I got this because it was on sale and the picture intrigued me. Turns out I made a pretty good pick! Cooking is standard, like 16 min in the oven, but even out of the box you can see there's a decent amount of different cheeses on top. Looks promising. The taste is good, obviously not as good as non-frozen pizza, but definitely better than most of the Digiornos or whatever else I've had in the past. The sauce is unobjectionable, not sweet or weird or anything like that; the crust is crunchy enough although also not a standout, and the cheese is copious and pleasant, with herbs on top (oregano? basil? not sure, but they're nice). Overall not AMAZING, but nice, and I'd get it again.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [4$]
Taste: 7/10

Just Crack an Egg - Denver Scramble

This is it, squad. My prototypical scramble. Ham, egg, cheesers, pepper, potato, I guess onion. So classic. I wonder if the new Dunkin Bowls will be better or worse than this? Certainly more unhealthy. This clocks in at under 200 calos, which is pretty great. As always, this is super fast/fun/easy to make, and fairly filling considering it's only one egg. This one seemed cheesier than the others, which I enjoy! The cheese and pepperato mix are good, but sadly the ham cubes aren't doing it for me. They aren't offensive, just very processed/a little bit chewy; I'd rather have lil deli ham slices in there or something. Ultimately I don't know that this is worth buying on a regular basis, it's kind of pricy and breakfast food is pretty cheap and easy to make on your own. I'm just so lazy...and it's so fun.... Thank goodness there's still one flavor I haven't tried, though I've never seen it at the store! The holy grail! Stay tuned?

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2.99 + an egg]
Taste: 7/10

Lean Pockets - Chicken Parmesan

To be honest, I only bought these because the grocery store was randomly closing early and I was in a massive hurry to leave but didn't have any food. I should have known Lean Pockets are massively disappointing, honestly just itchy mushy weirdly flavored pockets. At least they are cheap and low calorie. But in all seriousness, this is worse than a pizza roll, and pizza rolls are bad. It is soggy and has only sauce and cheese product in it, but tastes like old herbs and makes me itchy. What am I doing?! The crust isn't garlicy, parmy, or even crusty. I noticed no chicken. I am sad and ashamed of myself.


Overall
Cost: 6/10 [2.50$]
Taste: 4/10

Fage Total - Mango (5%)

Mango is my favorite fruit, so something went wrong in the fruit to yogurt pipeline, because this is definitely not my favorite Fage. The yogurt part is still good and creamy (love that 5% life) and filling, which is great, but the mango part has a very odd texture - super thick and mealy and like something went wrong and I'm eating a moldy tree branch. Rather than goo with chunks it is just chunks. This would be OK, but the flavor is not great. It is tropical and strong, but it also recalls this bubble gum flavored medicine I had a lot as a kid (even though it doesn't taste like bubble gum here). Amoxicillin maybe? I did like the flavor of the medicine, but I wouldn't want to eat it as a yogurt compote, and I still don't. Maybe if you never had that medicine this would be better for you, but I bet you still wouldn't think it is especially good. Sad days.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (1$)
Taste: 5/10