Zoë's Kitchen

This place is what I imagine Panera Bread is like. It's a little like Chipotle, but you don't watch them make your food, so it's not as fast (but it's still decently fast). Actually, it reminds me a little of Cosi, just not quite as lovable (no coffee, for one). The food is mostly Greek, with some other "Mediterranean flavors" in there. For me, it's good because they have a nice allergy menu posted online, and while it's true that they do have chickpeas (hummus!) and nuts in some things, they don't seem to have any peanuts and it's also not a ton of nuts in general. They have pitas, sandwiches, bowls, gyros, kabobs, and a few soups and sides and apps. Looks like a fun menu. So far I got:

Greek Chicken Pita, with side of fruit: This was good! It's a pita with chicken, onion, a few greens, and a little bit of tzatziki (spelling??) but not too much at all. The fruit was a nice cup, with oranges, apples, cantelope, and grape. A nice meal that was filling but not too greasy. Oh, and it had feta too, but I didn't even notice/mind it! \o/

Spinach and Mushroom Piadina, with side of fruit: This smells really weird/bad in the bag, so that's a con. It's also kind of boring -- basically a quesadilla with spinach, mushroom, oil and cheese. It's OK, but too oily and not enough prote! 6/10

Steak kabobs, with rice and pasta salad: I like the kabobs a lot, the meat is well seasoned and the pepper/onion/tomato bits are nice too. Savory and tasty. The rice was so-so, moist and not my favorite, but OK. The pasta salad is also not my favorite, less than the rice - feta-y and moist too. I had a weird allergy feeling the last time I ate this, though IDK if it's the food or Quinn's chicken food or just a fluke, but it put me off Zoe's for a while. Too bad. Their allergen menu doesn't contain nearly all their food, so it's tough. 7/10 though.

Chicken roll-ups, with fruit: This was OK; I thought it would make me itchy or something because it looked like egg rolls, but it didn't really. It was kind of boring, mostly just plain chicken flavor, but it was filling though. And the fruit was good. 6/10

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10

Q says: The chicken was cold but I'd go back. 6.5/10

Bell's Seasoning

This is turkey seasoning, which I imagine would be jolly good on turkey (real turkey, not Jenny-O's dumb soy-filled "turkey loin"), or stuffing too. But last night I used it on some chicken breast with a tiny bit of oil, and that was really nice too! I used a pretty hefty amount, because I just shook it out of the box (the packaging seems like it could be improved...), and I was worried it would be way too much, but it wasn't strong at all. Just a nice pleasant "poultry seasoning" flavor. Plus no salt, my boy friends will like that. And the box is cute, and it lasts 1+ year, so that's all good.




Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Herb Roasted Chicken

Luckily, I think we're about out of our Marie Callender's funk. Yes, it's true that I am working 2 jobs and have a tenant (not a roommate! a tenant!) and am TRYING to continue my unrelated research program, and it's all a bit much, and I'm losing it more every day, but these terrible frozen meals are making things worse instead of better!!! Time for some real food!!!!!

Anyway, we had to eat this because we bought it. Expectedly, it was not great. The corn was so tasteless, which I guess means at least it didn't have any added butter or salt, but like, it could have used a lil bit. The potatoes were fine I guess, nothing to write home about, no real flavor but the texture was good. The chicken was real chicken, so that's nice, and there's bones in it and everything. But the smell made me queasy. It has that dark, bloody, meaty smell that you sometimes get with dark meat or bones of meat and I was really not a fan. The smell lingered all day long and made me want to vom. But the skin was tasty and all things considered, it's decent frozen meal meat.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Kraft Easy Mac

This is just so darn handy. I got it from the little lobby market at my hotel when I was at a conference, and it cost FIVE DOLLARS. What!? And it was the small size (220 cals). Insane. Usually it's like 1-2 dollars max at a gas station. But anyway, maybe it was just the insane price, but it tasted pretty good. Super easy to make, portable, warm, comforting, nostalgic. For someone who is lazy and loves noodles and cheese, this was a major turning point in Food. Realistically it tastes way worse than fresh pasta, but hey, it's cheap, fast, low cal, pre portioned, and no dishes. You could do worse. Even for 5$...


Overall
Cost: 5/10 (in this case. in general 7/10)
Taste: 6/10

Sonic Drive-In

I guess the official name of this place is "Sonic Drive In" because sonic itself is such a common word! Too bad. I've only ever heard it called Sonic, so I didn't fully conceptualize that it was JUST a drive-in place because I didn't grow up near one. But we went today, and it's true, you pull up to your own little ordering window and wait for them to bring you the food. Apart from hating to drive and hating drive-through windows, I like that you get your own little menu to look at with no rush, and you can order when you're ready by pushing a button.

Food-wise, it seems like just burgers, chicken, hot dogs, and drinks, which is general fast-foody-food. They don't seem to have nuts in their non drink/dessert stuff, which is nice. I got a regular (all-america) hot dog and some mozz sticks, and both were totally acceptable but not incredible. I didn't get violently ill, which is always a plus! I would go back with no hesitation, but it wouldn't be my first choice.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 (seemed decent for non-combos, maybe 2-3$ per item)
Taste: 6/10

Green Giant Steamers - Teriyaki Vegetables

Maybe I'm just in a mood, but these were bad. Cooking is quick and easy, and I mixed them in with some rice. It's a good amount of veg/sauce for that. But the taste of the sauce is way too sweet or artificial or weird. It made me feel a little queasy, not in an allergy way, just in a human way. They don't smell good. I like soy sauce, but I guess it's the corn syrup and onion powder mixed with it that I really didn't dig. Also, way too many carrots, not enough of the other veg. The brocs were mostly leaves and thin offshoot stalk pieces, too, which is bad. Better to just use fresh broc!



Overall
Cost: 6/10 (1$)
Taste: 4/10

Dole Peach & Mango in slightly sweetened coconut water

It's a blizzard outside! So I'm stuck indoors with these fruit cups as sustenance. If you've ever had canned fruit, especially peaches, then these aren't going to be anything exotic for you. They are small cups with cubes of peach and mango in what I'd call more-than-slightly-sweetened coconut water. They taste fine, and the mangos have that nice firmer texture, which I like. Peaches are exactly like other canned peach bits. The coconut water adds a nice little tropical note, although it is a little sweet for my liking. This is a cute little snack, and at least it's real fruit!

One warning: when you peel the top off, the coconut juice will 99% squirt all over the place, so do it over a sink or something.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (about 2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Country Fried Chicken Breast Tenders

I'm glad you're all here to witness my slow descent into diabetes and depression via frozen meal. Really.

Anyway, this bad boy looks good on the cover, but the chicken is not at all an Arby's style chicken tender. It's more of a flat patty/nugget with soft breading on the outside. It does taste good though. The mac and cheese is also solid, and the noodles are fun thick spiral shapes. This is a good tasting meal, it just isn't good for you. Also a pretty quick to prepare meal, only like 5-6 min.

Overall
Cost: 6/10 (2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Beef Pot Pie

We'll be getting off the frozen meal train again soon, when my roommate finally moves out in 3 months. (Is that soon??????). But for now, a pot pie. Well, I like pot pies, but listen, this one is super misleading. It looks like a personal pot pie, but it is actually 2 servings. OK, classic packaging game, no problem. But listen. Listen. Each serving is 400 calories. There are 2 servings listed. But on the package, in small letters, it says "entire pie is 920 calories". OK, so....400 x 2 = 800. What's going on here? If you eat the whole thing yourself, the shame adds 120 calories? Bad news for me, I guess. Absurd calorie count aside, this tasted OK. I mean, it was good, the crust is buttery, the beef is a little chewy but fine, the carrots and onions were fine, and there were no celery pieces to be found. To be honest, the picture is very misleading, because even based on the ingredos there's like no veg in here -- it's all crust with a little beef and gravy. There are also a few potato chunks, but they have the weirdest taste of any component, kind of chemicaly/rottom/bitter tasting, so I'm grateful there were only a few bits. I could also do without the onion pieces. If potato and onion could change to carrot and celery, that'd be an upgrade.

The cooking worked out well, it takes about 9.5 minutes but everything was cooked through without being burnt or cold. The box makes a convenient holder. It's also super filling. I'd prefer chicken, but there's no peas in this one, so we do what we can.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (on sale for 2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Sweet & Sour Chicken

This really has no right to be 500+ calories, because it's not especially big! Sheesh!

This is certainly better than the Tai Pei Sweet and Sour Chicken, but not as good as Innovasian or any non-frozen attempt. I like that it comes with pineapple and rice and there isn't way too much sauce (in fact, there's maybe a tiny bit not enough!). The carrot/pepper/onion bits in it aren't good, but they aren't objectionable like they are in some cases. Overall the chicken pieces are good and the sauce is good, so it's a decent meal. The "veg" side of 6 carrots and 2 small broccos is totally flavorless and doesn't really go with the meal, so I'm not sure what it's doing there, but I guess I'm glad to be consuming free veg. It's OK if it's on sale and you're very hungry.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Sara Lee White Bread Made with Whole Grain

I don't want to bury the lede (I hate that phrase) -- this is terrible. OK, now you know the punchline.

So I was making eggs and I wanted bread. Until this review, my go-to bread has been Sara Lee honey wheat, because it was soft, long lasting, tasted great, and had fiber. But I wanted white bread for eggs. So I figured, OK, a white bread with a little whole grain, sounds perfect. Well first thing's first, the taste is hot garbage. It's weirdly sweet and plasticy and grainy. The texture is super off/rough. It even smells a little weird. Probably the worst sliced bread I've ever had. The only plus is that it holds up to a little weight, unlike your wonderbread might.

The other HUGE negative is that on the package, there is no nut allergy warning (obviously, or I'd not have bought it). But when I went to their website just now, all the breads (including the wheat one I always get, and this one) have a tree nut allergy warning. What the heck?????? If they have that info, why on earth wouldn't they put it on the package? Did I just miss it? If so, they need to make it more obvious, but I'm pretty sure it's not on there since I've bought their bread at least 200 times. True, I clearly haven't died yet, but jesus man. Time for a new bread. Also this one is gross. Rant over.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (About 2$)
Taste: 4/10
Safety: 1/10

Marie Callender's Fettuccini with Chicken & Broccoli

Sure, everybody loves chicken broccoli alfredo, a dish it's hard to ruin. But for 500 cals, this better be good. And it didn't quite live up to my hopes. The noodles were very soggy and there wasn't enough broccoli. A good amount of chicken and noodle though. Plenty of sauce. The sauce was more creamy/milky than cheesy (which I guess the name doesn't actually mention cheese, but I want some cheese, man!), and it definitely tasted artificial/like a frozen meal. This was fine, and sadly one of the better Marie Callender's meals I've had, but it's far from the best frozen alfredos I've had. Would only get in a sale/desperation situation.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (on sale for 2.50)
Taste: 6/10

Cadbury Mini Eggs

I'm pretty sure everyone agrees these are the holy grail of easter candy. If you like chocolate, you will like this! They are candy coated chocolate eggs. They are small and taste good. They don't have nuts! They are available in many countries! They are addictive and come in cute pastel colors. All hail the cadbury mini egg!




Overall
Cost: 5/10 (About 3.99, a little steep)
Taste: 8/10

Pepperidge Farm Apple Turnovers

These are the same turnovers you can get at your local Arby's, except that there is no icing on these boxed ones. They are still good, though, nice and flaky and tasty pastry. Some downsides though -- they take a while to cook, like 30 minutes, and when they're done they need to cool because you (I) will burn yourself on the filling. You also cook them at a high heat which is bad for my sensitive smoke detector. But the taste is good and the experience is nice, so I'd say they're well worth it if you aren't in a rush and are too classy for Arby's (weird).


Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Green Giant Steamers - Cheesy Rice & Broccoli

So this was fine. But the ingredients list is so long! And one of the ingredients is....blue cheese. Like what!? I hate blue cheese so that really weirded me out. But if I didn't read that I wouldn't know. The taste was good. It tasted like regular yellow cheese goo. The texture was good, it cooked fine and wasn't mushy or crunchy. It made a decent amount and isn't crazy unhealthy for cheesy rice. I think I liked it, so what am I so afraid of?





Overall
Cost: 8/10 (on sale for 1$)
Taste: 6/10

Tiger Tail Classic Mustard

This is mustard, what more can I say? Compared to French's standard yellow mustard, this is a bit more bitter/tangy/vinegary. Compared to a stadium mustard or some sort of spicy brown mustard, this is less sweet and less spicy too.

Honestly it's not that flavorful or exciting for a mustard, but it's serviceable for your general mustard needs. I haven't tried it with a nice ham sandwich though, so I'm hoping that can really bring out the joy. So far I've had it with hot dogs, which is not the best since those are really ketchup vessels anyway, let's be serious. I'm also mighty curious about their other varieties besides the "01 classic", maybe those would be more up my alley.


Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Marie Callender's Roasted Turkey Breast & Stuffing

Another shameful frozen meal night for this girl! Luckily, there were only 290 calories in here (although the website version says 320 -- did I buy an old package?), so I don't feel too guilty. It was also surprisingly filling for such a low calorie count; nice work MC. On the downside, this meal made me a little itchy like it had secret soy protein in it -- maybe in the meat or gravy? Not sure what set it off but it was real. Ignoring that, the taste was OK but not amazing. There was hardly any stuffing, but the stuffing was good, and the veggies I just mixed in with everything else, and the gravy made them good. The potatoes were warm and nice and milky. The turkey was not great, because it was itchy making and also there wasn't enough of it! Ha, ha, classic me. But really though.

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (2.50 on sale)
Taste: 6/10

Laiki black rice crackers

These were good! I remember not loving the red rice version, but this little bag left me wanting more for sure. They are like a soft version of a triscuit, with a little more oil and salt and a little less 'basket' vibe (but still a bit fibrous). The package is very minimal and cute, and this was a great little salty snack.







Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Bird's Eye Superfood Blends - Quinoa & Spinach

Sometimes you just need to eat some veg and you want something convenient. So, this caught my eye. I like spinach and quinoa, and it also has brown rice (good) and cranberries (weird but good) and red peppers (not my top veg, but fine). No allergens, so I went for it, especially since it's only 300 cals and fairly healthy and easy to cook. Overall it was a little bland for me, maybe too vinegary but also too plain or red peppery? I ended up liking the cranberries just because I like cranberries, but the rest was kind of an indistinct tasteless much. Which is OK, but not really enjoyable. I'm trying to think how I could improve it -- maybe some garlic and onion powder? Maybe crushed red pepper? I don't know, but it needs a little something. Edible though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Homefree Vanilla Mini Cookies

I enjoyed these! They're free of the top-8 allergens, which is never a good sign, but apart from the super-duper-crunchy texture (which is fairly enjoyable actually), you wouldn't really know it. They're basically a crunchy version of Lorna Doone shortbread cookies. A little buttery, very sweet, with I guess a mild vanilla flavor. There's a slight "off" taste to them, but I can't really pinpoint what it is or what it comes from, and it's possibly that it's partially just psychological. Anyway, these are fine, and a cute little snack.





Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Pepperidge Farm - Nantucket Cookies

This is my dad's go-to cookie, and luckily it is (ostensibly) nut-free. These are quite large, and each package contains 8 cookies, so you're in for a good time here. They are crunchy, not chewy, and have a good amount of dark chocolate chunks. The taste is good, chocolatey and buttery, and this is a nice, solid treat. I think I prefer the chewy cookies, or of course a homemade cookie, but for a packaged version I'd say they did good work here. Plus you can share with your normal non-allergy friends! Score!





Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10