OneTang Freeze-Dried Banana

Really more like NoTang, but that's OK. It's my birthday, blog! But I'm working a double (ie 16hrs) today, and I got rejected from a conference, and my parents want to visit tomorrow. And I have a headache!! So I enjoyed these frozen bananas in the spirit they were intended: sadly. Actually, they're fine, and as frozen fruits go, I like bananas pretty well. Plus there's a decent amount in here, comparatively. But you might recall I'm a bit sketched by this company's allergy info, so it's best to avoid it. Too bad I keep getting em in the mail. Anyway, tomorrow's another day! Hope you're feeling better than me, blog fans.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

That's it. Crunchables Organic Apple

I know "That's it" refers to the ingredient list, but for me, the amount of food in the package also made me say the name. It is a very small amount in there, and the individual pieces are also very small. They're also firm... I guess it's better than dried chips in a way, but in a way, it's also not. I guess this is a good topping for yogurt or something, but I didn't have any such things.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

utz White Cheddar Popcorn

This says nut free right on there! Aww! I was a little confused by this, though, because I remember utz popcorn being orange. Is this the same one? It could very well be, but I still prefer the orange version, I think. Nevertheless solid -- you know, it tastes like cheddar popcorn does. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Birds Eye Oven Roasters - Brussels Sprouts & Carrots

The big downside to the Oven Roasters line is that I gotta use the oven. And right now, my oven is very into "setting off the smoke alarm", if you know what I mean. So, that was a stressful 30 minutes. But other than that, and the fact that this is ten servings and I am one girl (although I ate 5 now, 5 later), I enjoyed it. The brussels are mostly salt-pepper-cooked and the carrots weren't as carroty or as sweet as I feared, they stayed fairly savory. Filling and I guess there's fiber in it at least!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 (although I bought 'em on super sale 9/10!)
Taste: 7/10

Allergy Smart Birthday Cake Cookies

This company knows how to make a tasty allergen free cookie! I guess you could say they really are....allergy smart. Actually they do do one annoying thing, which is they have "vegetable juice" on the label, and it's like, would it kill you to say which vegetable? Cause it might kill me if you don't. But I assume it's never PEA JUICE (which sounds gross even without an allergy), and indeed, I died not. But anyway, they do have this one flaw. Otherwise, these are very crumbly, but they taste just like butter, sugar, and a little vanilla: no nasty artificial ""cake"" flavor at all. Tasty! But probably really bad for you. Nevertheless, very cute little cookies.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Kettle Brand Air Fried Jalapeño Chips

These are good chips! They basically taste the same as the non-air-fried version, which is a good thing. Spicy, pleasant. I like chips with a taste that isn't simply "chip". Huzzah!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Strawberry Milkshake Frosted Flakes

Yo, the milk from these genuinely tastes exactly like a strawberry milkshake!! Pretty impressive. I do like a strawberry milkshake. The actual cereal is kind of just 'whatever'; some strawberry flavoring on regular frosted flakes, but the milk is clutch. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Froot Loops with Marshmallows Jumbo Snax

This is a weird thing. It's like 5 large-ish loops and 6 Lucky Charms marshmallows. It is a snack and not cereal. It tastes good, but it is so insubstantial. Also, there aren't marshmallows in Froot Loops, and that's weird. They are tasty though. Maybe froot loops are better than I remember. Or they put extra sugar on these ones. Not sure.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Stella Parmesan Cheese

Stellllllaaaaa!!! OK, I bought this (as opposed to normal girl shredded parm) because I needed a "rind". And there isn't even a rind here! This is consistently textured! But whatever, it has the shape of a rind. And it was good cooked, tasted a lot like (shocker) the parmesan cheese "whisps". Apparently this lasts longer in the fridge than other cheeses too, I guess because it's really firm, a big hunk of cheese that was tough on my muscles in the grating process. But it's good on noodles, nachos, sauces, etc. Solid (in all ways).

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 7/10

2022 Sishaye Chardonnay

They have IPA on the bottle! I like that. Now I know how to say Sis-ha-ye. This wine was really sweet, and not too acidic. Maybe some pear vibes? I liked it. I don't know why I neglected the chicken pairing, but I guess it was a too busy spring semester time. Good wine though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [16$]
Taste: 7/10

Starbucks Frappuccino Mini Caramel Light Roast Coffee Drink Cans

Apologies for the title gore, I just called these what the website did, and added "cans" because that's the most important thing to me. Cans are fun and new! These were pretty decent like a typical milk coffee flavored drink. Definitely calorie-heavy, but the upside to these is that there was no real "can" flavor, which is rare. Just a pretty pleasant caramel flavor, like caramel sauce and milk and a light coffee flavored chocolate milk. A good size, too. (Good meaning not too huge.)

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Sanpellegrino Aranciata

I don't know how to classify san pellegrinos -- sparkling juice? But they're mostly not juice. But not really a soda? I guess Sprite doesn't have caffeine, so they're sort of like an orangey Sprite. I used to think they were so classy, especially with the little foil topper you peeled off, but now these are topper-less thin tall cans instead! They do still look fancy, but the thrill is a little bit gone for me, alas. And this orange (is that what Aranciata means? Wiki says: yes! it means "orange drink", very accurate) flavor tastes like when I mix orange juice and sprite when I'm sick, which isn't my most loved experience. Maybe the grapefruit one is better though (that's the one I used to like).

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 5/10

2021 Chiens Catlans Rouge

This label is undeniably adorable. In fact, that's why I picked this bottle (I mean, obviously). It was OK. Another reviewer mentioned the "oily aftertaste", and I do see what they meant there -- it's thin and almost gamey. But not as bad as all that makes it sound. I was too lazy to roast a whole pork to pair with this, but maybe next time.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [16$]
Taste: 6/10

Pepsi

I don't like soda much, but I do like the mini can concept. It's cute and even if it's bad it's just a little bit! What I will say for Pepsi is that it's definitely better than Coke. Sorry to the haters and fools who disagree. Pepsi is sweeter, and it kind of reminds me of Chinese food (just because I used to have soda and Chinese food as a tiny babby, and I miss that), but also, heartburn, and so bad for you. At least this can is just the right size.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Sargento Ultra Thin Swiss Slices

I never used to be much of a Swiss Miss, but as I age, I like it more. I also like these thin slices -- you get so many! Unfortunately, 5 days is not enough time to eat 18 cheese slices as a busy single gal, so I wasted a few which makes me feel terrible. But eating old cheese or too much cheese also does. Alas. Anyway, I got these to put on a salad, where they were good, but they were also good as a noodle melty cheese! Decent stuff, and indeed, very thin.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Gino's East Frozen Deep Dish Pizza - Crumbled Italian Sausage & Pepperoni

This bad boy gave me massive heartburn, even though I didn't eat it all at once! I guess that's because it's like 2000 calories, go figure. It doesn't really seem like it should be, though -- it's not HUGE, and it's mostly doughy/floury crust. Not much sauce or even that much cheese, and the sauce that is there is very watery, very wet. The cheese is good, the sausage is just like Pizza Hut (but safe) so it's good, and the ronis are ronis. It's fine, but not worth the cals or price, I think.



Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Cheetos Flamin' Hot Tangy Chili Fusion

What a mouthful, and I'm not talking about the Cheeto. So look, these are pretty good. The seasoning tastes a bit like East Asian Food to me -- vegetable savory tomatoey vibes -- so it doesn't really go with "cheetos"! They're just a little bit spicy (hardly flamin'). I do like the flavor, but honestly, it makes me crave ramen instead of weird savory cheetos. Maybe I prefer plain cheetos -- stay in your flavor line, Cheeto! 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Swanson Chicken Stock

I didn't realise Campbell's owned Swanson, but it makes sense -- they are big broth players. So, I needed stock for a gazpacho recipe, and although there were many choices, this one actually had the clearest ingredients -- it's just "stock" (assuming chicken + water?) and veg that aren't beans and peas. So, I got this one, and I consumed the consequent soup with no issues. I can't actually speak to the taste because I didn't try it on its own, but I guess it's pretty mild and wet. I can't complain, and it didn't kill me, so I'd definitely get this again. Word to the wise -- it says use within 14 days of opening!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Dunkin' Canned Iced Coffee - Cake Battery Donut

 

Listen, you know I love Dunkin', so I was pretty excited for this. And even though I don't eat their food anymore, I have indeed eaten a Dunkin' cake donut. I've never had a "cake batter" donut though, so I guess there's a loophole. Anyway, despite the cute and unique can art, this just taste like the same old creamy, milky, vague vanilla coffee drink I've had a million times. PLUS there's a bit of the bad "can" taste (which I didn't get with the starbucks cans). Crucially, there is no "donut" (or even "cake batter") flavor I can pick out. Sad. It's not bad, but it's extremely generic. Typical of the can coffee genre. Alas.

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 6/10

Scorchin' Buffalo Pringles

I very much like the idea of "Scorchin" pringles, especially when this little pringle man is going through it on the can. But the benefit to a scorchin pringle is to cover up that nasty base pringle taste, and alas, these totally failed in their mission. They have a super heavy lays-esque pringle taste, as well as a burning vinegar aftertaste. Sort of the worst of both worlds. And there's no real "buffalo wing" or even "buffalo cauliflower" vibe, just heat and vinegar. Sad.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Krave Double Chocolate Brownie Batter Cereal

I sure am having a lot of cereal these days! Not great for my stomach, but I like to think I'm building my lactose tolerance a little more every day. Anyway, I usually dislike chocolate flavored things, but this was a little different than the usual cocoa puff fare. First of all, the texture is surprisingly oaty/baskety! I wasn't expecting it. The taste is a little bit brownie-ish (burnt, scary nut vibe), which I think I do prefer to the usual chocolate flavor. Kind of neat. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Kellogg's Corn Flakes - Honey Flavor

These are basically like less good Frosted Flakes -- even though it says "natural flavor", the honey in this isn't actually honey (or they'd say so!) and it reminds me very much of fake K-Cup coffee flavoring, which I dislike. The smell has a strong artificial "maple" vibe; the taste is less extreme, but I still get that vibe a little bit. The texture is fine, and on the whole this is just a pretty boring cereal. Sweet maple flakes: eh.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Jimmy Dean Delights Turkey Sausage Breakfast Bowl

I guess "Delights" is the "better for you" line?? Hard to tell with the fat and sodium in here, but it's got egg WHITES and TURKEY sausage, so there you have it. The egg whites especially look tragic in here, like little gelatin strips. It tastes pretty good though. I like sausage when I can get it, and I'm assuming this is indeed legume-free since I didn't perish! Nice.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Kettle Brand Air Fried Chips - Sea Salt & Vinegar

These are indeed tasty! And if the bag is to be believed, less fatty than the OG chip. However, there is a corresponding less-tastiness that comes along with these. At least at first bite, I thought these tasted a little stale (or, I guess, airy), but I quickly got used to it. The salt and vinegar coating is good and quite addictive. Honestly, a great chip. I'm a kettle brand stan.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Herr's Restaurant Style Tortilla Chips

Oh, Herr's. I got these because my usual safe tostitos chips were like 7$ or something crazy, and Herr's is a recognizable brand to me. And sadly for me, they taste really good! Heavy salt, light crunch, not stale or too corn heavy. But their website says to treat all their products as "may contain allergen X" and they DO make peanut butter pretzels. So I'm too scared to ever buy from them again. But I am sad because these do taste good; much better than tostitos (and cheaper)! Booo.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10
Fear: 6/10

Tostitos Toppers Fiesta Ranch Sauce & Dressing

OK, I kind of knew I wouldn't love this, and I was right. It smells gross and tasted OK on super spicy rice, but if you actually taste it, it tastes just like ranch dressing, with a very very subtle cheese-y undernote. I'm not loving it on chips and salsa (you need a lot of salsa), it really needs to be paired with something super spicy, I think. Maybe buffalo!?

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 4/10

2021 Freak of Nature Unfiltered Rosado

This was pretty wild as wines go. There's sediment in it (it's "unfiltered") so it's thick and looks like juice. It was very tart, though. Summery, fruity (strawberry vibes), pleasant enough. Lars did not like it (but it was a few days old at that time). 

I made the suggested Gazpacho, which was my first gazpach. I was impressed with the texture, but it really did taste like watery salsa. I don't think I will seek out a future gazpacho (although I did consume the entire 8 gallons or whatever all myself, whew). 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [17$]
Taste: 6/10

Hershey's Kisses - milkilicious

These are tasty! Better than a regular kiss, I think (although not THAT different) -- the inside has a creamier - yes, milkier - taste than normal. Plus kisses are in a cute portion size already, and these wrappers are adorbs. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 8/10

two-bite cupcakes - Strawberry Shortcake

Normally I am delighted by this brand of nut-free (and proud!) cupcakes from Canada, but this flavor didn't quit hit the mark. The strawberry goo in the frosting is weirdly firm and chewy (is it old? IDK) and the taste is artificial. I mean, they're fine, but I definitely prefer the chocolate and vanilla ones. They're very sweet. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Cinnamon Toast Crunch minis Cereal

This had me anxious because there is also a Reese's Puffs Minis. But the label reads as safe, and I gotta live my life, blogarinos. I like regular CTC, and I also like this. It's very airy, so the texture is quite different. The taste is basically identical, though -- cinnamon sugar and a tinge of malt. I don't know which I prefer. Both are solid.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Oscar Mayer Cheese Dogs

Cheese is these hot dogs's toxic trait. Why is there cheese in there? Worse, why is it in weird little polka dots throughout, rather than in a stripe or something?! I can just buy cheese! And it doesn't super go with ketchup, but it isn't very good without, so IDK what to do with these. They're filling and quick but a little gross. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Eggo Blueberry Waffles

They're a classic for a reason! I like the little stick 'n seal strip they include - talk about innovation in waffle tech. Two toaster cycles works well for these, and they're a solid, tasty brekkie. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Philly Cheesesteak Pringles

There sure are a lot of pringles flavors. I like that, even if I don't like the flavors. This was a wild one. I did taste the onion for sure, maybe the bread, and some oily/greasy vibes. Also I get a taste of pringle, though. And maybe cheese powder? which is very different from cheese. It is OK, and interesting, but not great. Bottom tier pringle.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10