Jus-Rol Round & Thin Pizza Crust

The random pizza crust I got the last time has been replaced with this other random pizza crust! Acme is like the lottery. Anyway, I was making round pizzas, so this round and thin crust actually worked perfectly. Even though I cooked it for a shorter time/higher heat than the package said, I think it came out fine. Nice crisp edges, normal doughy middle. Tasted pretty good, although whether that's due to the garlic cream sauce I put on or just the crust itself is hard to tell. Still, I thought the crust was tasty and I'd definitely use it again if it happens to be the crust my store has!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

2020 Leonard Road Chardonnay

This is a fine wine, but not like "fine wine" fine wine, just that it's fine. I paired it with Nothing since I can't eat seafood. Maybe that's why it turned me into a mopey crap! Overall I'd say it's a typical chard; rather sweet and citrusy, plus a little fizz. Very acidic, which I disprefer. Makes my teeth feel like they are fizzing away into nubs. But it's solid and drinkable both warm and cold, I'm just in a mood. Like I said, it's a fine wine.

On Bottle #2, I agreed with most of this, although it was not as sweet as I thought it would be, and a little bit banana-y, too!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [16$]
Taste: 6/10

Mrs. Smith's Dutch Apple Pie

Okay Mrs Smiths!! This is a solid pie. Unfortunately it is 3500 calories or so. But it tastes good as apple pies do. The crumble topping basically turned into a regular crust topping for me, which made me worry I overcooked it, but then the filling was kind of white and goopy which made me worry I undercooked it. I dunno, man. It also did have a hint of the "animal fat/rancid" taste I got from the Mrs Smith's pumpkin pie, so I guess I didn't spill gravy in that one but rather there's something weird that I'm sensitive too in these pie fillings. That's too bad. It's only in some bites here though. I also think it's better warm (or tepid) than cold, so I might try microwaving it for my next slice. And did I mention the high calorie count? But it does taste good. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

2021 Between Bridges Merlot

Whew, this wine really took me aback at first sip! I wouldn't call it easy drinking, although it does have a big plum flavor. After the first little while it definitely chilled out, but not at all chuggable. Solid sipper. And the song pairing was a bop.

The food pairing was this Sour Cream and Chive Potato Pizza, which I made minus the chives since they had went off. It was surprisingly luxe, although I could have done without the sour cream if I'm honest. I expect it would have gone well with the wine if I'd had any left!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [16$]
Taste: 6/10

Jolly Rancher Gummies

This heart came with 2 bags of gummies! Deal alert! Happy Valentine's Day indeed! Apparently I haven't had (or at least not reviewed) the JR gummies before, even though I feel like I have. They come in the same flavors as the hard candy, but are big chewy soft candies instead. Well, not that soft, but definitely less dangerous in the choking hazard sense. The flavors are pretty much the same, and yet my flavor ranking is different for the gummies:

Cherry > watermelon > grape > blue raspberry > green apple [weird chemical vibes on this one]

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Hot Wheels Cereal

This is a weird idea for a cereal. It basically tastes like lemony fruit loops, while it looks like big spaghettios. The marshmallows are weird in this context, since their texture and flavor is quite different from the cereal bits, but they are basically lucky charms marshmallows. The taste is fine, but the texture of the Os is too firm for me, and weirdly corn-staticy also.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Marie Callender's Steak & Ale Pie

Bake in oven, it says. What they don't proclaim so proudly is that the "bake in oven" is for 70+ minutes!!!! That's an awful long time to wait for a little, calorie dense crust bomb. I will say, the crust is very good. Flaky and tastes like cream, just like a real pie. The inner meat was a little weird and chewy, although soy-free. Hardly any other veg in there. Although it tastes decent, for 70 min and 800 cals you might as well eat a slice of fruit pie and make a sandwich. I mean, what are we doing here.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Idahoan Chicken Broth Mashed Potatoes

These are mostly just fine. They are potatoes with a slight salty/brothy vibe, I guess. Pretty boring on their own, but definitely quick and filling. The cooking instructions (Boil water, add potatoes) weirded me out since they say to add to a bowl straightaway rather than to boil in a pot as I'm used to. Makes it seem less food-like somehow!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10

Chewy Chips Ahoy - Confetti Cake

I like Chewy Chips Ahoy's texture a lot, and that's the highlight here. I don't like that there was a girl who died from accidentally eating a peanut chewy chips ahoy because she didn't see the Reese's logo on the red bag. I checked this bag so many times in fear. I also don't really like the taste of these, which is no surprise because cake flavored stuff is usually gross (and to be fair, so is most cake). So although the texture is good and I ate a lot of these, I don't think they're a worthwhile purchase.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Old El Paso Fiesta Twists - Zesty Ranch

In a shocking twist (oh ho), this zesty ranch flavor is much much better than the spicy queso flavor. What the heck! But these don't really taste like ranch, so much to their credit. I get more of a salty sour cream and onion/chive vibe here, and it covers up the Corn Chip taste more, which I like. The texture is also inexplicably much smoother, easier to chomp and hardly any corn static. A pleasant salty little snack. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Green Giant Baby Brussels Sprouts & Butter Sauce

A weird thing about my dad is that he really hates Brussels sprouts but he likes cole slaw (aka cabbage). To me they are very similar tasting veg! Perhaps my dad has only had bad b.sprouts in the past. Well, these aren't great, but I wouldn't call them bad either. The price is right, the size is decent, and the butter sauce is kinda sus but ultimately tastes OK. I'd rather have a porky fat instead of a butter sauce, but for a frozen veg side, it's OK.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Daisy Sour Cream (in a tube)

I'm not a big sour cream fan -- I never put it on tacos or use it when it's given to me on the side. But I put it on my at-home nachos and it was quite good. A good source of Wetness I guess. Also, the tube is very fun. Daisy is winning me over with their little song and their little tube.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

2020 Empyrean Eridanus Claret

Hmm. This wine is significantly above my usual wine-price-point, but I also do like it, and I'm wondering if I actually DO love luxury goods but only if they're wines. Much to consider. Anyway, this ought to pair with duck, but I have no duck access right now. It's from a company that makes only 4 wines, all reds, and some of them are only available sometimes. I like the forced scarcity aspect; it's why In n Out is so good (also no nuts). And they have cute constellation names, even though I've never heard of Eridanus. The label art could use a little zhuzh, it kind of looks like a phone book, which I associate with European snooze fest wines -- yet this is American! OK, on to the taste: it tastes good. Very smooth. It's a red blend - mostly merlot and cab sav. Is that what "claret" means? What on earth is a claret? (Wiki: "A dry red wine produced in the Bordeaux region of France, or a similar wine made elsewhere") OK, it's a dry red wine. Actually it doesn't feel that dry to me. But it's very drinkable. Solid warm red, still good on day 3. I'll go back to this well again, if I even can!

Overall
Cost: 3/10 [29$]
Taste: 7/10

Starry Soda

Apparently, this is the new Sierra Mist! Well, I have nothing against Sierra Mist in particular, but this is deffo an upgrade on name/branding, I think. It seems more like a lo-cal seltzer and less like a medicinal cream. However, all these lemon lime sodas basically just taste like Sprite, which I only ever drank when sick, and I didn't love it then either. No caffeine at least, which is good for nighttime, but then again what's the point of drinking it if it doesn't taste good OR give you a boost? Not for me but I still support the rebrand.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10

Chicken in a Biskit Crackers - Ranch

Huh, I had no idea they spelled it like "biskit". How odd. Anyway, these in their OG flavor form are one of my top crackers. Big childhood nostalgia. And this ranch flavor maintains a lot of that because the shape/texture is the same, although the flavor is of course a little ranchier. And they really do taste like ranch dressing, which is a con for me (original is better), but the chickeny MSG vibes are still present. A nice addictive salty snack. In a biskit!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

Idahoan Buttery Homestyle Mashed Potatoes

I assume the cup version tastes similar to this bag version, but the bag feels much classier, anyway. So I got this because it was 8 servings and I wanted a backup for Thanksgiving in case the real potatoes didn't pan out. But they did, so I made this all for myself at home with turkey/corn leftovers. It was way too much potato. It actually went well with greens + jalepenos, so that's a good option for a starchy meal for quar times (or post-quar times, even). They do have a buttery taste but it isn't overwhelming or fatty tasting. They do also have a bit of artificialness to them, but it doesn't bother me much, although it is noticeable, especially without gravy. All the more reason to gravy boat! These are so cheap/fast to make that I can't knock 'em too much. And whatever labelling issues I had with the cups wasn't present here!

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10

Caribou Coffee Reindeer Blend KCup

 

This is it! The final random holiday kcup! Hooray! This is a very cute little cup, and I first read "cheery" as "cherry" and thought oh boy, but no, it's just cheery. Best I recall, this just tasted regular. I guess regular coffee is still kind of cheery, else I wouldn't drink it every day, but cherry would have been a more exciting note to end on. Anyway, 'til next year, cofe!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

De Cecco Tubetti

One betti is fine, but two betti? I don't know about that...

OK, OK, sorry. These aren't my favorite because they're very small, making them suited to a soup but not my typical noodle dish. Cute and dense but not as satisfying for Meal. Maybe tribetti would be better.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

De Cecco Angel Hair

These are just so freakin' dainty. They cook in an instant, too. Good for light, oily saucing and veg. Classy noodle shape.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

De Cecco Thin Spaghetti

Why Thin Spaghetti? Well, thick spag is pretty good, but this is faster to cook, with all the elegance of angel hair pasta. So it's a good option, although maybe better for lighter sauces. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Claritin Chewables - Cool Mint

Medicine isn't my usual fare, especially because I avoid taking it (partially for allergy fears, partially for weird scientology-ish feelings) unless I really have to. But as I've been ill since Nov, my doc has me trying a variety of things. So I'm starting with the Claritin mint chewable. This is my first ever non-Benadryl allergy med, and it's extremely uneventful so far. It was locked behind the counter at Walgreens and cost 25 dollars, but it has had no effect on me, which is good and bad. Actually right now my neck is hella stiff, but hopefully that's a coincidence. The taste is very coughdrop mint-y, which is fine (not tasty, but not horrible). I don't know if these do anything for anyone, but at least they didn't harm me. Although I am very very tired, so even though they say "non drowsy" I'm kinda wondering how true that is!!!

Overall
Cost: 3/10
Taste: 5/10
Effectiveness: 1/10

That's it. Apple + Apricot bar

This certainly tastes like apricot! I do like the "clean"ness of the ingredos, and it doesn't look like they use any nuts. But apricots are really sweet, even with no sugar added, and the texture is a bit rubbery. Good fiber though and decently sized. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Mtn Dew - Fruit Quake

I'm not much for soda, but I do like Mountain Dew. Do I like Fruitcake flavored mountain dew? I dewn't. This was so elusive, though -- I looked for it for months and no stores or websites had it, so when I randomly saw it in my parents' grocery store in Feb 2023 I thought "OK let's buy a case of this!!!!". It tastes a lot like Hawaiian Punch. It is red. The flavor is a little bit like preserved fruit, like maraschino cherries etc. It's not terrible, although there is a little artificial vibe (which I dislike). The smell is a little plasticy/new-car-y. However, I am part of the 1% of humans who tried this drink, so that's something I've got going for me! (Also, 10 more cans to enjoy throughout the year!)

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Keebler Fudge Stripes Cookies

These are quite tasty, yet nut-free, which is a rare treat. Good sugary chocolatey flavor, and a light, biteable thickness. Cute stuff. Honestly better than Oreo and Chips Ahoy, I think.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10

ONETANG Freeze-Dried Fruit - Pineapple

This isn't my first freeze dried fruit, but it is my first "One Tang" fruit. This is a company that has no online presence and it's also in China. I have no problem with buying Chinese stuff in general, but food makes me nervous because I don't have a grasp on their allergy labelling laws and I know they've got a lot of nuts over there and not a lot of allergies. So, I prefer American Crispy Fruit over this just for peace of mind (USA! USA!). In terms of taste, this one might be better, though -- the pieces are a little less "freeze dried" and a little more substantial and therefore flavorful. So good if you don't have allergy fears I think.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10

Krispy Kreme Classic Medium Roast K-Cup

Well, Krispy Kreme Kcup, you aren't the worst KKK out there, but you aren't the best donut-chain k-cup either. (All hail dunkin). Props for trying though.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Peet's Big Bang k-cup

Getting there, k-cup endurers! I knew a guy named Peet so I find the name of this extra comical. Otherwise, no big opinions. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10

Old El Paso Fiesta Twists - Queso

Old I'll Pass-o, am I right? I wanted to like these but the texture is just bad. A little like a styrofoam/cardboard hybrid. The texture is the gustatory equivalent of static: so many randomly hard specks throughout. Why are they there!? Is this why I don't like corn taco shells and corn chips? Maybe. It's weird and unpleasant. Taste-wise, they're very similar to the harvest cheddar sunchips, which is OK but also not my favorite chip flavor. The shape is fun though and they do feel light, which is neat. Alas.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10