Fever-Tree Ginger Beer

God, the smell of this is like poppers. It's so nostalgic and lovely. Of course I'm used to it as a mixer, especially for your moscow mules (although shout out dark and stormys too), but today in my Sick Sad Little World era, I'm just drinking it straight. This is a non-alcoholic mixer, mind you, and it comes in a tiny 6.8oz bottle and costs an absurd amount of dollars. It's got a good ginger burn, which to be honest is kind of a scary experience when there's no alcohol alongside to water it down and/or calm you (bc tingly lips/tongue => wait am i dying?!). That's how you know it's good quality, though. Really good. Crisp, not too sweet, just overwhelmingly Ginger. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10
Taste: 7/10 

Crofter's Strawberry Squeeze-able Fruit Spread

Osito, putting jam into a squeezy tube only makes sense if there's not 20 servings in there. Otherwise it's all sticky and floppy and you have to knife it to even it out on your starch anyway. This is a horrible form factor; I hate it very much. The color is also a brown paste, like cat toothpaste, which is disconcerting in a different way than a bright red is. But it tastes like nice normal strawberry jam, so it's a good product; I'd just surely rather a jar. Ah well. You take what you can get!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Chocolatey Chocolate Lucky Charms

Surely I've had these before? Nope, just S'mores Lucky Charms, which were somewhat Chocolatey but not Chocolatey chocolate, you dig? Anyway, these are fine. Not as good as regular Lucky Charms for me, but I don't much like chocolate flavored things. As such things go, the corn bits (not oat, which is a downgrade) are solid. Good cocoa flavor. And the marshmallows go well - there are some normie colored ones and some chocolatey ones, but they all basically taste like chocolate-sugar-mush. Since it is record breakingly hot outside, chocolate-sugar mush (and not oven time) is just what the doctor (me) ordered!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Kellogg's Crispix Cereal

Wow! I thought I knew what Crispix was (off-brand Chex), but I didn't! It's hexagonal, for one thing. And it is corn on one side, rice on the other. A mash-up. A rice/corn love story. It's beautiful. The colors are slightly different too (thanks to turmeric, ha). It tastes like those two chexes... together. I do prefer the rice side, but it's all the better because it's in contrast to the corn side. Genius! Crispix for life! 
n.b. it's not very crispy, but I surely don't care about that. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 (a certain ceiling for the chex-types)

Ruffles Original

More 'o them free school snacks. As it happens, most free things aren't that good (possible exceptions: love, Eagles Win You Win Dunkin' Promo). One thing I can say for Ruffles: they have ridges. Actually, I'm being far too harsh here -- as plain potato chips go, these are among the best. Good texture, extremely oily (yom), no cat litter flavor as in Lays/Pringle. I just will never be stimulated by a plain potato chip. If I were still in the land of French Onion Dip, these could have a place in my life. But I am not.

Overall
Cost: 10/10
Taste: 6/10 

La Croix Pastèque (Watermelon)

 

There is something ridiculous about the fact that La Croix insists their name is NOT French (thus, pronounced [lə kɹoɪ]) and yet they name this flavor pastèque, which unlike pamplemousse, nobody knows what [] is. However, I dunno if I'm just relieved to be alive, but this is great. Maybe because I can't have watermelon-the-fruit anymore (OAS... cruel...), but watermelon-the-drink is so nice and pleasant. This seems way stronger (i.e. flavored) than their other flavors, too. It's a little bit floral/artificial/weird, but not too bad. Almost candy-ish. Sweet. But it's 0 calos. So it's the splenda version of watermelon flavor. But it's hitting. Oh, it's hitting. Plus I like the color scheme very much.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Hershey's Strawberries 'N' Creme Bar

Finally, I've completed the weird Hershey's Ice "Creme" Bar trio. This one does evoke strawberry ice cream (possibly because I had also stored it in the freezer), but it did make my tongue a little tingly (to be fair to the candy bar, I am currently goin' through some brain stuff). The crunchy bits are just like, freeze dried strawberry pieces, and the bar is just the usual sweet milk oil creme. I think I'm not into what the Hershey's 'N Creme Line has to offer, generally. Ah well. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Spindrift Cherry

Yay, a new spindrift flavor. And it's not even on the Forbidden list (no caff, no citrus, no allergens). Somehow I'm on such high alert that I got a bit paniccy when I first tried it, maybe that's just the power of carbonation (and May). Anyway, this is a good flavor! It's tart, but not painfully so. Not oversweet but not the Nothing vibes of a seltzer. Jolly good. And a cute color too. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [6$ for 8...hrm...]
Taste: 7/10 

Galbani Whole Milk Ricotta cheese - Lactose Free

I'm moderately lactose intolerant (or at least, ice cream and soft cheese and big milk make me Regret), but I haven't had any serious ricotta trauma, possibly because other trauma is always more pressing. Anyway, this was on Mega Sale at the store, so I got it because it's just ricotta with an enzyme in it. Perhaps they're not making it anymore, which is too bad because I support the mission. The texture and taste seemed normal. Weirdly I had an extra bad stomach ache after eating the chicken dish with this in, but that could be down to so many things that I hesitate to draw any conclusions. Anyway, tastes fine. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10 [1.49$]
Taste: 6/10 

Pepperidge Farm Whole Grain Thin-Sliced 100% Whole Wheat Bread

Yay!! Normie bread! This is scary because look at it (looks seed-y), but it's truly just wheat. No flax, no sunflower seeds, no rye, no legume protein, not even a sesame warning. It isn't weirdly big like their farmhouse bread, it's just a modest sandwich-sized slice. The taste is not sweet at all, the texture is a little dry but fine, it goes great with butter, I am so happy about this bread. Yay.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

Starburst Fruit by the Foot Mini Feet

This is an Easter candy, broadly construed. How silly. They really are mini. There are two flavors:

Strawberry: A weirdly light color, almost bubble-gum looking. Tastes like a strawberry candy flavor more than a strawberry gummy/fruit snack. Again, weirdly small. But tastes good. 7/10

Lemon: This is a little better than the strawberry; tastes like a lemon fruit snack (which to be honest I don't know if I've ever had? But if I did!) 7/10 

A serving is 2, which makes me think "just make one non-mini foot" but I guess I'm not the target audience of a small child on Easter morning. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Hillandale Farms Jumbo Eggs

These are commissary eggs! I'm also a little confused about why my veg box gave me them, since they aren't the cage free badbois I purchased. Also, fully 6/12 eggs arrived cracked, so my foam-package opinion is negative(r). Ah well. Taste-wise, they were fine: typical egg. Very thick shells with an astringent smell (washed in chemicals or somethin?). Jumbo size. Healthy looking yolk. But I miss Sauder's! Come back, Sauder's! 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 

Munchies Snack Mix - Cheese Fix Flavored

Yeah, I've got the munchies. Munchies snack mix from my job that I absolutely pounced on because they don't treat me well and eating my weight in free snacks is what I deserve!!! Unfortunately it's a bit of a "stop hitting yourself" scenario because these are tragic. The ingredos are like War and Peace. Despite student claims to the contrary, the contents of Cheeto, Pretzel, and Cheddar Sun Chip taste just the same as the non-Munchies Mix versions. But the Doritos are tiny little triangles, which is more delicious (less Dorito)! All together it's a cute scene, so why do I scorn it so? Because I don't LIKE Doritos, Cheetos, or Cheddar Sun Chip. Also the pretzels are made of corn (weird). Also, Munchies is the FritoLay brand name used for their peanut butter (et al) cracker packs (scary). Otherwise, this is a fun nut free snack. 

Overall
Cost: FREE/10
Taste: 5/10 

Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn

It still comes in a black bag after all, the one I had before was just a "light" version! Wowow. Anyway, this is whatever. Never been my favorite - what's that cheese powder doing there? It's so messy and tastes a little sweet. But I can't deny that it's a snack I'm not allergic to. And at this point the packaging is almost nostalgic. So, OK. It's fine. A very "I am eating a processed food" experience, and to a brand I have no real loyalty to, which I guess is how other people feel when they encounter Dunkin, Haribo, and Pepperidge Farm (:o).

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Two-Bite Churro Dulce De Leche Cupcakes

Strike's over... back to work... on some cupcakes!! You know what they say -- the best way to get over an allergy fear is to get under some cupcakes. Etc etc. Anyway, these are fun and look like animal's eyes (frosting-wise). They also contain graham flour, which if it's a typo for gram flour will be my downfall. But I think I remember saying that about another flavor, so probs not. (Also you'd think an allergy company would be careful about such things, but ah, I lived long enough to know it isn't so). 

Anyway, where were we. The dark brown blorp is a caramel goo - not frosting! - but very sweet. Like a chocolate bar inside caramel. Fine, fine. The frosting is just typical mini cupcake frosting, maybe mildly cream cheese and/or cinnamon flavored. And the cake is just regular vanilla cake! Oh, frabjous day! I thought it'd be filled for sure, and that would have been major overkill. Kind of like the concept of "churro dulce de leche cupcake". Did they just pick two Hispanic treats? Whither flan?  

There are some crumbley lookin blorps on top, evoking I suppose churro, but they are indistinguishable from the general frosted scene. 

This isn't terrible, but it actually is. The plain ones are much better. The only redeeming factor is: I'm not allergic to it. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

O Organics Rosemary

Now that all my herb plants are gonezo, I buy this when I make a nice little creamy garlic rosemary chicken dish. It tastes nice and classy, but I've noticed that whenever I make it, I get itchy and hivey and my gums sting. You'd think an allergy blog owner might recognize this to be an allergy, but the ingredients are all things I've had many times before (rosemary included) so I disregarded. But now....I think I'm allergic to (this?) (fresh?) rosemary. It's a cruel cruel world. Anyway, this tastes so good that I bought it many times in spite of a negative physical reaction to it, so that's something. You get about 4 long tufts, and they hold up pretty well in the fridge. I probably won't buy this anymore though. Sigh!!!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

utz Mike's Hot Honey chips

Sometimes I forget utz makes chips, what with all their pretzels! Anyway, these are interesting. Mike's Hot Honey was pretty trendy for a while there, but the only time I had it was at Mod Pizza, where I did enjoy it. As a chip flavor I'm not really sold. The sweet + hot combo reminds me a little of a BBQ chip, but the honey really is present, and so is the basic salty potato chip flavor, and so is a pretty hot heat (if you eat a bunch). Those elements are all good on their own (well, maybe minus the chip), but I am not a big sweet + savory fan and this is a bit too sweet for me. It's not boring or terrible though, two common chip sins.

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4$ish]
Taste: 6/10 

Turkey Hill Lemonade

Wow, catering at my old school has evolved to include new and different packaged foods! Anything is better than a massive bowl of peanut trail mix like at my current school, but this is fun because I can drink it. And boy did I drink it! And boy, is it sweet! (100% daily value sugar in one pint size package...) But also, major Turkey Hill nostalgia. Turkey Hill is of course from Lancaster County, like many packaged classics, and we had these lemonades for lunch every day in school when I was a kid. In retrospect, not great for the ol' growing brain, but this was pre Michelle Obama. Anyway, tastes very nice. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [free for me, probably like 2$ for the dept though]
Taste: 7/10 
 

Jelly Belly Barbie Mix

A single serve 100 calorie pack of jelly bean? This is amazing. Give me a shot of cofe and I'm microdosing all the things that matter. I'm neutral on the Barbie branding, IDK why there's so much all of a sudden (is there a new movie coming out?), but pink is cute. Here is the flavor assortment:

Jewel Very Cherry: Is "jewel" just meant to indicate it's shiny? I think this is just regular cherry. It's a good cherry bean. 7/10

Strawberry Boba Milk Tea: Strawberry Boba Milk Tea tastes a lot like Strawberry. Which is pleasant enough. Wait, what I thought was strawberry boba milk tea must be cotton candy. This is horrible. Tastes like a chemical foot. A foot with a chemical peel on it. Ugh, ergh. I do hate boba, too. There's no strawberry though? What is this? Why is this? Why, Barbie?! 3/10

Cotton Candy: Cotton Candy tastes a lot like Strawberry. Which is pleasant enough. Psych!, that must have been something else. 4/10

Jewel Bubble Gum: You can really taste the "jewel"! Actually, this might be the milk tea. WTF is going on. OK, there are two distinct flavors that taste bad. The opaquer one isn't AS bad, and is more cloy-y milky flowery, so it's probably the boba one. But it could be "jewel" flavor. What the hell is happening here. Wait, I got one normal gum flavored one. So it's the Milk Tea and Cotton Candy that are jank. Whew. 7/10

Strawberry Cheesecake: Love this one. Old faithful. 8/10 

 A wild journey with Barbie.

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10 

San Giorgio Cavatappi

This has always been a favored shape of mine! I went with SG over DC because of the price, but the allergy label is actually great (may contains listed!) and the taste was too, so now I'm like, hmm, time to switch my pasta allegiance? Cava tappi is Italian for "extract corks", if you were wondering (thus the corkscrew shape). But yeah, the vibe is like an extra fun big elbow. Plump, not starchy, strong, whimsical. A top tier iteration of a top tier shape! Plus each individual pasto is so large, which is its own reward. Bigger than the Knorr cavatappiti by like, 500%. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 8/10 

Signature Select Fresh Basil Leaves

This isn't what the container looks like, but whatever, it was bad anyway. I saw this at the store for 1 whole dollar cheaper than the fresh basil plant I usually get, and I thought "yeah, OK", but the container says not to refrigerate for over 24 hours, so I didn't, and then it completely went black and slimy in a matter of 2-3 days. So instead I had no basil at all. (Upside: turns out the lasagna tastes better without basil anyway, but it was the PRINCIPLE of the thing!)

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2.50]
Taste: ???/10 

Hershey's Cookies 'N' Mint (2026 Version)

Look how they massacred my boy :(

Disclaimer: this was in the freezer. 

Claimer: On first eat, this tastes like a tragic mix of Dunkin sugarfree artificial mint chocolate chip coffee and Hershey's cookies 'n cream bar. But on second and third chew, there are elements of OG Cookies 'N Mint. Cooling elements. Elements that make you feel like you huffed some paint thinner in the garage. Like your heart is full of antifreeze. Like maybe, just maybe, life is worth living. The rest of the chews are a mix of those two experiences. Some mediocre to bad, some beautiful and nostalgic. This candy bar really encapulates my life. But I want the old one back :( 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 4/10 or 8/10, avg 6/10?  

Pringles Sharp White Cheddar

People keep saying that I'm too nice. Are they reading my Pringles reviews? That's the only thing I'm too nice about. Honestly. Anyway, these impressed me. The flavoring is pretty different! It is in fact sharp cheddar flavor dust! Unfortunately it's kinda subtle, in that the horrible PRINGLE flavor comes through very strongly. Like a lays chip chased with one of those cheddar cheese square cuts from Cracker Barrel I used to get and then complain about. But I love the flavor science. They should move the Pringles minds over to medicine. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 7/10 [at least until the novelty wears off] 

Lofthouse Spring Sugar Cookies

Do other people feel like sugar is the only thing that helps with migraine nausea or am I just deluding myself? I hope they cover this issue on The Pitt. Anyway, these cookies are great, way better than the supersweet puffy circles with gobs of frosting on top (which have their place too, let's be real). They kind of remind me of a homemade holiday cookie - buttery, bendy/soft, tender, but not flakey or crunchy or stale (yet). Very shortbread-heavy. Very wholesome. And nut free! Plus 100 calos isn't TERRIBLE for a cookie. And it IS spring, which has really plummeted in my season rankings since ~2020, but at least it's light out at night now (good for driving). 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [6$... humbug]
Taste: 8/10

Green Giant Sauced Veggies Simply Steam Cheesy Riced Cauliflower

This is identical to the Green Giant Sauced Veggies Simply Steam Cheesy Riced Cauliflower with 3 Small Broccolis, except it's missing the 3 small broccolis. So it is strictly worse... but only 3 tiny broccolis worth worse. Otherwise it is still very tasty, very small, and overpriced. Wish I could bathe in this stuff. Although the cheese goo makes me feel psychologically bad, even if not physically. (The cheeseless cauli is twice the price, though it is also bigger, so maybe I should just get that if I'm splurging on riced cauli). 

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3$!!]
Taste: 7/10 

Gerbs In-Shell Pumpkin Seeds | Extra Sea Salted

 

I liked the sea salted pumpkin seeds so much, I thought I'd give the "extra sea salted" ones a try. Big mistake. I guess there's a salt ceiling, and this is above it. They're definitely salty and maybe giving me heart palps. Also, they taste less fresh and more chewy/rancid. Perhaps this is unrelated to the salt content (OK, probably), but each 2lb bag is a real commitment of about half a semester of daily seed eating, so. Don't get me wrong, a ton of salt is still tastier than no salt, but I think the ranking (on pure taste, ignoring whatever salt does for one's health) is: normal > lightly > extra > none. Makes sense, I guess. Sorry this is such a blurry picture, or maybe I just have glaucoma now. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Twinings Pure Iced Tea

Tea time, tots! When I got this, the outside was covered in red goo (tomato sauce)? But I am too lazy to follow up, so I just tossed the packaging and consumed as normal. Luckily the bags are in sealed foil (36x2), and they're sewed together in a condom-esque fashion. More like sachets than bags, since there is no string with tab at the end. But it's OK, I'm not too good to go fishing in the cup (as evidenced by my acceptance of sauce-covered product). There are two options for enjoyment, according to the website/box:

Enjoy by the Pitcher: Pour 4 cups boiling water over 4 tea bags in a clean heat-resistant pitcher, steep for 4 minutes, remove tea bags. Fill the rest of pitcher with ice or 4 cups of cold water. Enjoy now or refrigerate for later.

Enjoy by the Glass: Pour boiling water over tea bag in a heat-resistant glass, steep for 4 minuets, remove tea bag, add ice to desired strength & enjoy!

Fine, fine. Very fine. I'm only one person here, so I'll start with the glass option. Queuing up my favorite Bach. How was that? Observation the first: there is no amount of ice you can put in a standard cup that will both not overflow and succeed in icing the tea. This is why you make iced coffee in huge tumblers. Anyway, I ended up with warm tea. Observation the second: It tasted like normal black tea. What are we doing here? Maybe I'll try the pitcher later, since that has the benefit of going in the fridge. Also, my head hurts and this didn't help :(

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 

Starburst Jellybeans

They don't make discounted Easter candy like they used to! This was the only nut-free option at my store on Easter Monday, so of course I bought it (for a cool 99 cents xoxo). Turns out they really are less premium than your Jelly Belly. But, they weren't as bad as I had remembered/feared. Basically these are Starburst but in Jelly Bean form, except there are 2 extra flavors to keep it fun. Here is my ranking:

1. Pink: This is the best starburst so it is also the best starburst jelly bean. Strawberry, I guess. The problem is that they have a weird mealy texture. Like is there wheat starch in this?? Why is it happening?? I guess Starbursts also have that, but Square Chew isn't an existing form to me like Jelly Bean is. Hm. 

2. Red: Red is the second best starburst and also bean. It is cherry, I think?

3. Green: There is no green starburst. Too bad(?). This is green apple flavor. It tastes like a green now and later. Good for novelty, I suppose. 

4. Orange: This is like orange starburst. Very mid. 

5. Purple: Grape!? No grape starburst. Obviously. I don't like grape juice flavored flavor, which is what this is, but at least it's not licorice. 

6. Yellon: Lemon is the worst starburst and equally the worst bean.  

Soft and slightly larger than Jelly Belly, but not as big as the delicious canonical jelly beans I am always allergic to. A fun change of pace for Jelly Bean Fans like me!

Overall
Cost: 8/10 [On sale for 99 cents]
Taste: 7/10 

Pringles Smoky Mesquite BBQ

I never noticed how wild Pringles can art is. This one has baco, a kabob on a grill, and someone painting sauce on a chip. Is that how this flavor tastes? Answer: no. Like all BBQ pringles, this tastes like a bowling alley. Smokey and a little BBQy. Also, Pringlesy, much to my dismay. But I do like BBQy, so that's something. It's a tomato-heavy flavor and not very "spicy" or "vinegary". A little lime for unknown reasons. A little bit Arby's roast beef + Arby's sauce vibe (I miss you, Arby)!

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Hershey's Salted Caramel Ice Cream Flavored Candy Bar

What's new at Hershey's, I asked myself recently. More "white creme" bars (like cookies 'n creme) and less chocolate bars, it turns out. A turn for the worse, but at least it's not an IP tie in, so let's give 'em a shot. First up: caramel flavored ice cream bar (crucially, not ice cream, just bar). Some confounds: it's 8mil degrees and rat city, so I kept this in my fridge. It's not melted but that's probably not how it was meant to be stored. And this is made in Malaysia, which I haven't been to and know nothing about, so the allergy protocol is a little more Question Mark which is sure to put me off a little.

Anyway, this is cute in appearance. Little ice-cream-cone shape pieces. And it's 200 calos of essentially pure sugar with light milk, so that's what it is and it's not pretending to be otherwise. But despite containing no coconut, it tastes to me like definitely coconut. Like the inside of a mounds bar. That is not what caramel tastes like. I guess I can get the "melting ice cream" + "cone" notes if I mouth-squint, but it's not obvious if they don't tell you. Caramel sauce, sure, okay. But not a GOOD caramel sauce, more like a Hershey's caramel syrup (lol). Texture-wise there are little firm toffee pieces (more sugar I assume), which is fun-adjacent. I didn't really like this. Maybe on a colder day I will feel differently. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Green Giant Simply Steam Cheesy Riced Cauliflower & Broccoli

Lol, I didn't realise this was riced cauliflower when I bought it (and not riced rice). That's actually an upgrade because it tastes better and is a bonus veg. But it's way fewer calories, which is actually bad because I'm so hungry all the time. It's also not very cost effective to eat 80 calos (both servings in the box) for like, 3 bucks. I was in a dark place when I bought this (the grocery store). Anyway, there's shockingly little cheese goo or brocco included (thus the 80 calos I guess), but it tasted way more balanced/better than it looked. A great product if you are rich. (Well, OK, maybe not rich. Slightly richer and/or different food priorities-er than me!)

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [2-3$]
Taste: 7/10  

Birds Eye Steamfresh Seasoned Chicken Flavored Rice

Birds Eye ain't what it used to be... but neither am I! This has only milk as an allergen (although some random reviewer online who is allergic to "only cranberries and oysters" had a reaction, for whatever that's worth, lol), and as I'm always in search of new veg landscapes, I had to check it out. It is easy to cook, I'll give 'em that, although it smells a lot like canned chicken soup (no doubt due to the combo of chicken fat, corn protein, carrot, and onion). No soy though!! They promised!! The onions are really to its detriment, at least on first nibble/smell. The rice and seasoning and carrot/brocco is fine, but the onion flavor is overpowering. However, maybe it's the MSG talking, but this was pretty tasty. I wished there was more. I'm a fool... a fool for seasoned chicken flavored rice.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

7-Layer Dip Pringles

What even IS 7-layer dip? I've never had it, so I assume one layer is Bean. And then like..meat? Tomato? Cheese? Sour Cream? Guac? Lettuce? This can shows chip (but I assume that's for dipping and not dip) and olive (ew), and as far as I can tell, no bean. So although the ingredos don't have Bean, there IS "natural flavors" which could ostensibly be bean, which would kill me. But surely if there were bean, they wouldn't hide it, they'd be proud to declare essence of Bean. Some neurotics are born, others are made (by food allergy). Anyway, I ate 'em, so I can decree: no bean. 

The flavor notes are very: tortilla chip (unexpected!), paprika, cumin, taco seasoning in general, mild cheddar cheese dust, mild sour cream, possible lettuce vibe (weird). Pretty accurate flavor match, in other words. You can almost not notice the powerful pringle undertone, which is always my goal with pringles. But it is still there, a little. This flavor isn't listed on the Pringles Website, so perhaps it is discontinued (or otherwise secret). There is a slight olive afternote. Ew (impressed). Also a slight mealiness which I associate with my assumptions about pinto bean paste, although that is also a feature of many potato-forward pringles, too. I guess that's a value add(??). 

Not my favorite flavor, mostly due to bean fears and related anxieties, but pretty impressive/unique/I like the green can. 

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10 

my mochi - Barbie cotton candy

Is this any different than the Non-Barbie cotton candy flavor? Probably not (except it is purple). But my store only carries Barbie flavors and Dubai Chocolate, apparently. Anyway, a new flavor's a new flavor. I wish I liked these as much as I want to, but I still think a mochi is a lower-tier ice cream treat. Still, the company is so good (and the packaging is very cute), so I will continue to support. They also do a great job with flavors that sound terrible. This tastes nothing like cotton candy, which is a huge compliment. It's like generic grape-lavender vanilla. Cloud flavored, maybe. Subtle fruit-adjacent sweetness. The dough bit is actually sweeter than the filling, which is maybe not surprising for a mochi but is surprising for an ice cream. Good little treat. And a nut free logo on the back of this one! Thanks Barbie!

Overall
Cost: 3/10 [8$, a bit insane]
Taste: 7/10 

Haribo Sour Sodas

New Haribo?! Very exciting. I'm a big fan of soda flavored candy (OK, I'm a big fan of bottle caps), so let's see. 

Well, the texture is freakin' weird. They are soft like the unicorn gummies, but not bite-through-able. Also, they don't taste anything like soda. But they are sour. They also melted and fused together a lot. 

Cherry-cola: I'm getting cherry, I'm getting Haribo gummy, I'm not getting cola. Ehhh. Wait, but another one tastes only of cola, no cherry. Are they unevenly created?! Intriguing. 6/10? 

Peach-blue raspberry: This just tastes like a peach gummy but sour. I like sour but I don't love peach gummy, even in frog or bottle form. Ehhh. 5/10 

Lemon-strawberry: This one tastes like french fries. What the hell is going on here. 5/10

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 (except the one cola-flavored one )

Nellie's Free Range Butter - Unsalted

Cute butter. Tragically, it is always within 2 weeks of expiry when I get it in my veg box. This is not very realistic for solo me, because even if I bake with it, I'd need to consume like 2Tbsp butter/day. That seems unwise as a regular lifestyle choice. I did manage to bake+freeze a good old blueberry pie-cake to finish this one off though. No complaints about the taste or form or cute cow box; it is surely butter. Actually, maybe this is what give me a huge stomach ache?? Possible complaint. But probably not. Probably no complaints. I'll give it a 5 to be safe.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Skinny Pop Avocado Lime Popcorn

Blergh! This stuff is cursed. I probably could have guessed from the flavor that I wouldn't love this, since lime+savory = tastes like Trix Cereal for me, 100% of the time. Here too. And it even has dextrose in, so it truly is SWEET LIME, and I hate hate hate to mix fruit + savory (possible exception = cranberry+turkey). But if you like, say, fiesta lime tortilla chips, come on down to experience intense fiesta lime flavor. The avocado oil doesn't really come through, so I'd be curious to try a not limey avo flavor to see what's up with that. But it doesn't seem to be contributing anything here. Other than the worse-than-plain taste, the texture is good, the ingredos are clean (and explicitly nut free, we love skinny pop for that), and the taste isn't actually bad (e.g. artificial or chemical), it's just sweet and that's not what I want on a popcorn. I wonder why I hate this and other people (including my dad, who is directly related to me) clearly seem to enjoy it. Weird. I'll still eat it though, I just will never buy again. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 

Sour Patch Kids MVP Top Picks Mix

This isn't really a new product as much as it is a repackaging of existing product, except I've never had the cherry ones before so I got it to try those. One nice thing about the SPK life (as opposed to Haribo) is: they're way easier to bite, and the serving size is in pieces (9) instead of tablespoons (inscrutable). Lately I'm suffering from stomach issues, so maybe a bunch of sour candy is not the answer to that...but there's no milk or fat, so then again, maybe it is. Only time will tell! Anyway, here's what you get:

Cherries: these are really good. Cherry flavor with the usual sour dust. Something different! They're a little more onerous to chew because they are so big, so I'm glad it's not a full bag of them, but they're nice to break up the parade of kids. 7/10

Kids: normally I don't eat human-shaped foods, but I guess these are the (weird) exception. There is blue raspberry, orange, lime green, red that is probably cherry but tastes pretty different from the cherries cherry, yellow lemon (a highlight)... 7/10

Watermelons: Already discussed previously, these are pretty good and weirdly soft.  7/10

A pleasant assortment. The Star Mix of SPK. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Sunny D Peeps

Easter candy is surely the best and worst thing about Easter. There is so much candy about it. Peeps are nut free and cute. And since they're just sugar, they can't make my internal agonies worse (we hope). These do taste like sunny D (bad sweetened orange "drink"), but they aren't sunny D, they are candy. So they are better than Sunny D. Also very cute. But a serving is 4 and they come in sleeves of 5. Peeps got a (Sunny) D in math I guess. I got a fresh batch so they're pretty decent, all told.

Overall
Cost: 7/10
Taste: 6/10 

Life Savers Swirled Lollipops

Surely X will fix me... today, x=candy. I got these because the picture kind of looked like Cream Savers on a stick, which are a great nostalgia item. However, the white swirl is not at all cream, it's some sort of vanilla flavor (or really, neutral flavor). These aren't even made by Life Savers, actually, they're contracted out to Spanglers, who make some allergy friendly things (like Dum Dums) but also some dangerous ones (like Neccos and Bit-O-Honey). The bag reads as safe, though. 

Orange & Vanilla:  I guess the flavor is pretty true to form. Tastes like orange soda mixed with a little cream soda, but as a lollipop. It's fine, big and flat, but it didn't fix me. 6/10

Blueberry & Vanilla:  This one might be fixing me. It's better, like a nice blueberry flavored dessert (a Dunkin' Blueberry even). Kind of weird notes for a lollipop. But I like it. 7/10

Strawberry & Vanilla:  Ehh. Not fixing me. The worst flavor, I think, although it is fine. Tastes like a low-quality strawberry candy (which, lo and behold, it is!). 6/10

Cherry & Vanilla:  Maybe a fixer. I always like cherry lollipops. Nice bright flavor. Also some weird notes. This vanilla part really isn't adding much. Ah well. Easter, what can you do, right? 7/10

Overall
Cost: 7/10 (I don't actually remember, which means it was probably cheap)
Taste: 6/10

2020 Ravelston Cabernet

Insane day. I found out during a routine meeting that my bosses are planning to close down the department I work in. So, I've unironically turned to the bottle. Was that wise? Surely not. But I don't regret it.... I love you, the bottle. Or at least, this bottle.

Actually, on first sip, this tasted rotten - as if it'd gone off. Not as good as their '22 cab, or so I thought. But if you let it sit! Oh! It improves so quickly. Pretty thick, not too tanniny, pleasant fruity/plummy notes. It's a grower. A breather. A good omen, perhaps. Breathe with me, blog fans.....................

 

Overall 
Cost: 6/10 [9$!]
Taste: 7/10
 

Pop Tarts - Frosted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

She's back, and more disgusting than ever~! No, not me, these pop tarts. One of my greatest struggles is pounding ~1000 calos in the 12-16 frantic hours I spend out of the house away from Any Buyable Safe Food on school days, and pumpkin seeds and pretzels haven't been cutting it lately. Pop Tarts are a great portable calorie bomb, but they are far from great. Especially this flavor, back for the war. It's particularly sweet, even among pop tarts, which is really saying something. There's also a strange little artificial flavor - although not as egregious as some (the cinnamon ones and girl scout ones, mainly), more like "foot" than "chemical spill". I feel it is worse than the first time this flavor existed. Less cookie dough, more "odd sweet wheat mush (sweaty)". Ew. But in the moment it did serve its purpose of filling the void in my awkward 2 minutes of eating while people watch me eating. Thanks for that, pop tart. And no allergens! Woo! Although this box is a lil bit Reese's coded...

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10 

Fiji Water

One of my favorite college sports cheers: over-rated 👏👏👏👏👏

Fiji is where Survivor is now, and that's overrated too. The bottle is cute. Fiji seems beautiful. I read a long article recently about the inability to deal with pollution on Fiji, mainly from cans and bottles, so that's not helping matters (but Fiji water is also a huge part of their economy, so, ehhhh). Anyway this tastes like water. It's a little basic (like, not acidic), which I guess is better tasting than the opposite. Very thick. Very soft. You wouldn't want to shower in Fiji water. I guess I'm used to being pelted with firm, tangy metals, both in my mouth and shower. It tastes fine and I like water, the reason it's overrated is that it's like 3 bucks for a 1 liter bottle of water, and there is free water in my place of employment. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [2$, I rounded up OK?]
Taste: 6/10 

McCormick Garlic Powder

Out of actual food to review... back to the spice cabinet!

This is garlic powder. It is in a lot of (savory) recipes, like pasta and meat. It is more convenient than garlic, but not as delicious. A little goes a lot way. My store was out of the normal size so I got this giant size instead. The holes are way bigger so I will probably use it equally fast because of repeated "oh no that's way too much" instances. (In terms of taste it's not too much, but in terms of heartburn, you bet your bippy it is!) 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Undercover Chocolate Quinoa Crisps - Dark Chocolate + Blueberries

And with this, I've finally finished my "trendy nut free snack" excursion (for the time being)! These are pretty different from the cherry ones in that you can't perceive the blueberries at all. They are texturally indistinguishable from the plain dark choco ones (a plus), but without the sea salt (a minus, it turns out). I guess there is a mild blueberry flavor, but if I weren't looking for it, I'd probably just think it's the fruity notes of the choco. So perhaps my ranking is: milk > salt > blueb > cherry. (Whereas my non-Undercover ranking is probably the exact opposite!!) 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Stouffer's Sides - Cheddar Bacon Potatoes

The idea of this doesn't appeal to me overmuch, but that's probably because most "bacon" of this type is just soy protein. According to the ingredos, this product is soy free, and it's just normie bacon in there. This is also a brick of 4.5 servings (to that I say: lol, but it is probably 2-3). The reviews are weirdly high. You cook it in the microwave, so you know it's haute cuisine. 

The taste is mainly breadcrumb, which is fine, I like breadcrumb. Some small bacos, some cheese crust, and yeah, theoretically, potato cubes. High goop factor. I don't know if it's worth raving about, but it's unobjectionable. I wouldn't serve it at a party but I'd eat it. 

Overall
Cost: 3/10 [8$]
Taste: 6/10 

New York Bakery Texas Toast - Original

Some of my best friends are ready in 4-10 minutes! I haven't had garlic bread in forever, for various reasons. But a wee slice of this was nice. Not as nice as a cheesy one, or, dare I say, a regular french bread loaf, but we can't be too picky, can we? I continue to appreciate the twistie-tied bag that allows for 1-slice servings. It is garlic bread, with all that entails.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

Oat Haus Cookie Dough Granola Butter

Whew, it's a good thing I had the darker Red Velvet flavor first, because this is a VERY SCARY tan color. But it's safe....it's safe...

I like cookie dough more than red velvet cake, so I also prefer this flavor. The texture is still very gritty, although this one was more liquidy and less stiff. It does have a cookie dough flavor, but with some added "oil and oats" notes, which makes sense because those things are in it and wheat flour and eggs(?) and butter(?) aren't. In college my besties and I used to buy a tube of Pillsbury cookie dough from TroGro (now a Starbucks, one of many tragedies occurring at my once beloved alma mater) and just eat it. Those were the days. But that tube dough was much tastier than this jar dough. Perhaps if I'd never had the tube dough, I'd rate it higher. Or perhaps if I were eating eat out of this jar with three age-matched peers who indulged my no-double-dipping request. Really makes you think.

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 6/10 

Eggo Buttermilk Pancakes

You may know I have about 5 food-related complaints of late, and one of them is that they simply stopped making frozen French Toast. Nowhere to be seen! Well, it turns out the same is true of frozen pancakes, except waffle-makers Eggo have stepped in there (before or after the end of Frozen Pancake, I don't know). Who used to make them? I think Pillsbury, maybe the company now known as Pearl Milling Company, maybe someone I'm forgetting? Anyway, now Eggo is all there is. But that's fine, you say, they're Kellogg's, that's all fine. Ah! But! Another top complaint is that everyone is adding PEA PROTEIN to everything, and so too are Eggo's frozen pancakes PROTEINIFIED with LEGUME!! Not these, but almost every other one is. It seems rife for cross-contam issues, especially since it's not even a Top 9 Allergen (Y E T). So I can't enjoy these in peace. Also, they taste very mid. And they squash together in a mush when you cook them. But as a vessel for butter/toppings I guess they do the job. Always my least favorite of the big 3 frozen breakfast breads, anyway.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Undercover Chocolate Quinoa Crisps - Milk Chocolate

Finally, the answer to that age old question: what's more delicious, salt, cherries, or milk? Shockingly, the answer is still salt. I would have thought milk choco would win over dark 100% of the time, but I guess with quinoa in the picture, that is false. These are fine, but rather than tasting like milk chocolate, they mostly taste like watery quinoa. No, I will not elaborate further. It is still a pleasant snack, but for the nutrition on these guys I'd rather have a cookie. Or chocolate proper. I guess it is marginally approximating a Crunch Bar/Krackel (is that how you spell it?) but it's been like, 25 years since I've had one, so I can't be sure.

Update: upon reflection, I miss Crunch Bar/Krackel very much, so maybe that notches these above Salt, actually. [In a "hug your loved ones while you can" voice:] eat delicious candies while you can, blog fans!!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 
Memories of Crunch Bar and/or Krackel: 9/10