Some of my best friends are "little ones". This is mozz and as such it tastes like all the other form factors of BelGioioso mozz. However, there's like 50 wee orbs in here, which is actually better than the normal sized ones for most of my purposes (snacking, noodles, recipes that want you to pull off a bunch of tiny bits). They are fun, they are cute, they are small. I think mozz usually messes with me in large amounts, but it tastes good, anyway.
Overall
Cost: 5/10 [6$ish]
Taste: 7/10
Wow I love this. Like it was engineered in a lab just for me (just like the Dunkin goldfish). The package is beautiful. Everyone loves snoopy, the green color is so nice, the snow, snoopy has a big coat on, charlie brown is nowhere in sight. Winter wonderland. Take me there. Also, mint choco is my favorite flavor and I'm always lamenting that it's not in more things. Goldfish are often savory so it seems weird, and honestly the taste is not THAT good, but it's right up my alley and not artificial at all.
The pieces are firmer than normal; not hollow or soft. They are shaped like fish, snoopy head, and pawprint. (Furries, this is for you too). The taste is mainly chocolate goldfish (similar to the choco annie's bunnies, or teddy grahams), which is fine, but there's also mint seasoning where salt would be, and that's fun. The more you eat, the better it is (as with many things). A serving is 34 pieces which seems just right. And it's accessible because it's a major brand! I hope you return every year, snoopy goldfish!!!
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 8/10
Oh Pringles. My bag actually has the Pringle guy wearing a santa hat and a lot of Christmas lights on there. Holiday intrigue! You know I can't resist impulse buying such things! Because of my deep bag-read, I noticed for the first time the slogan "two flavors, one bowtie", so I now realise they are bowtie shaped (?) and that MINGLES refers to two flavors MINGLING. Even better! Worse, these are brown so look like bamba (Israeli peanut snack). But they have very reassuring allergy info still (may contain non-nuts). But but, a serving is now 35 and not 56. More normal, less exhilarating for bingers like myself. What's that? How's the taste? Eh. It's OK. The underlying puff is still addictive, but the flavoring is indeed "natural and artificial" and you can tell. The cinnamon has that "hot apple jack pop tart" note. Blech. Unpleasant aftertaste but not enough to stop me eating the full 35. Back to the drawing board Mr. Pringle. I actually think an unseasoned version would be top tier. D:
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
You know, it makes sense. They put a tootsie pop in a lollipop, they put a bubble gum (ill-advisedly) in a lollipop, why not put a starburst in a lollipop? There are so many other possibilities now that I think of it. Truffle-ization of lollipop. Anyway, these are actually made by Spangler, which is an interesting little company -- they make Dum Dums (top-8 free!) but also Neccos and Bit-O-Honeys (not nut-free at all). I guess the Starburst factory isn't set up to lolly pop.
The pop bit is good. Very bright green apple, tastes like a jolly rancher but sweeter and in a better shape (circle). There isn't an apple starburst, is there?? This is just a weird product, especially because it's a Halloween edition (bats on the packaging and all). Is green apple Halloweeny? Is it Starbursty? No and no! But it's a good flavor and fairly unique in the lolly landscape. The inside starburst bit was like, 1 millimeter around. Perhaps it melted due to all the peripheral sucking. It also had the texture of a now and later (FIRM) and not a starburst. Basically, nothing about this product is Starburst-related except the packaging. But it tastes good and is much better than a blow-pop. Probably on par with a tootsie pop, but more fun due to the novelty.
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10
This branding is cracking me up. I feel like everything's cracking me up lately, which is nice. I've ascended beyond anger (in small bursts of laughter). Seriously though, did tomatoes need the marketing treatment? I was buying them anyway! But this is cute. I usually don't like cherry tomatoes best, but these were very plump and juicy, so I guess I fell in love for the first time. Kinda big for your everyday small tomato functions (noodle), but we made it work. Also, their website says: "the nutrients in these cherry tomatoes, like riboflavin and carotenoids, help reduce migraines and boost the immune system", which I am certainly in the target audience for. Heal me, sexy lady tomatoes! (I assume the name is a takeoff of Chanel no. 9, but it just makes me think of the DC gay bar ("Number 9") instead.)
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10
Yellow is a good pepper. Right in the middle of the pepper spectrum. (Orange is also good; they are equally middle, OK?). I had this particular specimen in the fridge for almost a full week, and it wasn't a spring chicken when I bought it, either. But it was just lovely, no badnesses and a large tasty pepper for my ~protein bowl~. Thanks, pepper!
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10
I think I go through this stuff even faster than salt or pepper or vanilla! That's because it's one of the meat-adjacent seasonings I'm deffo not allergic to, it's pretty cheap, and my migraine recipe lady seems to be obsessed with it (which is fine by me because I like it too). Is it just cooked peppers? I guess so. But it's sweeter than your everyday red pepper seasoning. Also, one time I accidentally used the teaspoon I used for oil in the container and I had to buy a new one. I never used to make stupid mistakes like that before my brain exploded! But at least I remember it now. Lol. Flashbulb memories, am I right?
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10
Can Pop Tarts (Mini edition) fix all of my many problems? Only one way to find out! These are both cute and portable, two valued traits. They have a very weird texture (SOFT), which I guess is why they are "pastry bites" and not just regular bites. Unfortunately, the taste evokes the Apple Jacks pop tarts, even though that badness isn't actually present. Simply the memory of a similar, bad, trait evokes badness. Pretty interesting. Can I logic my way through sense memory? It might take a while, but I bet I can. In that case, these are surprisingly good. Like a pop tart shaped cinnamon roll, truly. You do get the dough, cream cheese, and of course cinnamon. If they were shaped like little cinnamon rolls, they'd be even better (my brain can only do so much).
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10
Haha, well. Fancy seeing wine here. It's like I'm a kid again, trying to figure out what a safe tolerance is for me without total disaster. Of course the safest bet in all cases (you hear this, kids?) is abstinence, but like lil George Clooney in Up in the Air (one of my favorite movies idec), most of my happiest memories are when I'm with people alcohol. So the juice is worth the squeeze even though I might screw it up. Also I still have a massive wine backlog to get through and no local friends who drink, so like, needs must.
This one is just OK. Malbecs always smell good, warm and woody, but they also cause me massive reflux (even when I'm not breaking the alco-seal). Nice and bright, not too thick or thin, a little sharp, a little cherry and oak, but very acidic in character even if not in flavor. And I only had a teeny bit! (We're talking 1/4 of the bottle in total; your girl is c a u t i o u s). No food pairing but if I did, some duck would hit the spot. You're welcome, duckies.
Overall
Cost: 7/10 [9$]
Taste: 6/10
Me for the last 15 years: I'm in my "drinks" phase.
OK, but, Spindrifts are great. They taste a million times better than the artificially (or "naturally" but essentially artificially) flavored seltzers (la croix, bubly, waterloo), they're way healthier than a juice or a soda (this is 4 calos), they have no alc or caf, and they have cute little names like "nojito". It also makes me think of the 2010s song "Nolita", which I can't remember who sang. Hm. Anyway, if I'm ever a recovering alcoholic, I'll be mainlining these forever. As it stands they are a fun little treat. This has lime and mint, so I was avoiding it previously because mint in a water sounds gross, and then because lime is citrus and contraindicated for migraine. But now we're imbibing moderately, and the exciting mojito flavored canned sparkling juice is pretty great. Way better than mint tea. A pleasant surprise. The flavor is mainly lime. The colors are my favorite and I love stupid blends (word-wise). If I lived closer to my job I'd be bringing these in for events all the time. If I ever get hired permanently, I'm gonna turn all the studos into Spindrifters. You'll see! (Well, you almost certainly won't, but IF I DID, you would see!)
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10
I'm really playing with fuego trying these, because eating spicy food gives very similar physical reactions to eating food you're allergic to (see also a bunch of confused adults realising that bananas et al aren't "spicy" for everyone). Also there's a mango flavor and I'm allergic to mango now (maybe not even as an OAS thing, just as a straight up thing, alas). BUT it's SKITTLES, surely I am not allergic to them (and the mango is just "natural flavors", hardly protein level content). The thing is, these aren't actually skittles or candy, they're freakin' gummies. That's way less delicious. Nevertheless, they are a sensory banquet. The chili powder coating is like a sugar coating in texture (fun), but it does have a nice heat to it (although nothing crazy or leaving you gasping for a drink or anything), especially if you eat a bunch in a row. The flavors are distinct. The gummy texture is kinda firm and not my favorite (I'd much rather a regular skittle), but it's not horrible.
Mango: Scary but fine. Due to scary, not my favorite flavor anymore, but it does taste like a mango does. Also tastes a bit like a peach gummy, which are meh on their own merits. 5/10
Watermelon: Tasted a little like a bathroom (I do buy watermelon hand soap sometimes, alas), but decent. Classic flavor, and goes well with the chili powder. 6/10
Raspberry: Ew, what happened here? Tastes like a bathroom in a worse way. There's raspberry underneath, but weird toilet spray atop. Maybe this bag was stored next to soap. Alas. 4/10
Lemon: This is the the best flavor. Lemon candy is always great. Like a spicy chuckle. God bless. 7/10
Strawberry: Nice, kinda like strawberry cream saver. Good bright sweet flavor. 7/10
Overall
Cost: 5/10 [3$]
Taste: 6/10
Decaf doesn't count as cofe (even though it still has some caf)!! I can have it as much as I want!!! So I decided to try these since the free hotel decaf was surprisingly comforting to me last time I had it. However, this tastes very little like regular dunkin (kcup or otherwise). I guess regular Dunkin tastes like caffeine!? This tastes fine, I guess, like a generic hot earthy drink. Wet wet dirt (neutral). I guess if you dolled it up with creamer or something it might taste more like cofe (TBD?), but plain it really doesn't taste like coffee, it's just hot and dark. Fine qualities, still. Kind of like a different kind of tea. Maybe a dark non-alcoholic beer (lol). Anyway, good experiment, but perhaps not to be repeated. We'll just suffer with our one coffee a day, yeah?
By the by, as we all know, tariffs and inflation have increased costs of groceries and especially cofe. Luckily this isn't reflected in my local Dunkin (yet), perhaps because they already upped their prices 50 times in the last 10 years. However, it is definitely reflected in my grocery store k-cup prices: they used to be 9$ (sometimes 7-8 on sale) and now they are 13.99!! What!? And online they are 17$!!!! It's almost cheaper to go to actual Dunkin! Is this a sign to go back to the cumbersome and wasteful bagged coffee times? Well, although I have the same amount of job security as ever (none) and no imminent plans to die, I've gotten a lot less thrifty in the last few years, but 10-years-ago me would be in full starvation mode. So I feel really bad for the youth of today just trying to budget but also have a little treat. (Psychology hour: I don't think I'm more fatalistic than I used to be, I just really internalized some "live in the moment" messages from my meditation era, and one consequence is buying a lot of frivolous crap. I think still less than the average bear, although you wouldn't know it from the blog, but nevertheless. The dangerous of mindfulness! (I was not a very good student of mindfulness tbh, but some of it influenced me.))
Overall
Cost: 4/10 [13$]
Taste: 5/10
You know this isn't for kids because it was extremely hard to peel off the plastic top! Otherwise, the idea of an adult lunchable certainly appeals, and it's nice that it's "minimally processed" and there's no Reese's cup or weird little drink in there to mess about with. Also no nuts! It doesn't really taste that good though, alas. The crackers are the best part -- firm wheat circles, almost a sesame/rye taste but they're just plain wheat (yum). There's 6 of them I think. Then there's like, 4 turkey scraps, and 5 cheese squares. Absurd portion choices in other words. They even show a little sandwich on the packaging!! But OK. The turkey is the worst part: it's deli meat, kinda slimy, kinda smokey taste even though it's "oven roasted" and not "smoked". But pairing with cheese and/or cracker helps mitigate this. The cheese is also not my favorite, but that's cheddar for you. It's a pretty mild cheddar, and it is indeed less processed than a lunchable cheese that flaps in the breeze. A good little snack, less delicious than Lunchable but also less toxic, probably. Only 220 calos, some good protein, cute.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Continuing my Old Tyme adventures... this is another sesame/nut/soy flour-free roll option from Old Tyme. What makes it "game day" and/or "premium"? It's the same calorie and protein info as their regular roll, but it has a line down the middle. It's also a little fluffier/firmer. OK, fine. Mine were 1 week from expiry but had some weird black flecks on top (mold?!??!) which I peeled off, but maybe that's supposed to be there, but probably not though. They also made me flushed and itchy like the high-protein ones did, but is that just anxiety or do I have a secret wheat protein allergy and/or there's unlabelled legume? Being real, I think it's probably the first thing. I'll report in after having a few more. [Reporting in: yep, it was transient.] Taste-wise, these are NOT weirdly buttery like the non-game-day rolls, which is a plus. But they kinda taste like stale bread mixed with air (not like tasty potato), which is a minus. I guess these aren't potato rolls at all, are they? Dang. I miss Martin's. Maybe I'll go back, sesame be darned. Anyway, no butter, bad texture, no sesame, play ball!
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
These make me think of Cool-een from Survivor. Otherwise, they weren't great, but that's on me buying California strawberries in October -- they looked so pale and sad in the store (and were on sale therefore; yay) but the recipe I was compulsively due to make called for them, so here we are. I lost only 4 to mold/browning, which is generally a reasonable condition for OCTOBER strawberries. They weren't super red obviously, but tasted just fine (cooked in a paste). Better than expected actually. Sometimes soft bigotry... sometimes soft happiness.
Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$]
Taste: 6/10
Mm, sugar. Nature's sugar. This stuff is essential for baking, but the box design is not optimal. You need super strength to puncture the half-moon cutout in the side, and then you hope and pray no pests or water enter the unsealed airhole. Luckily, ever since my roommates moved out I've had no sugar storage issues in terms of bugs/clumps (so far...), though the pouring process is still sometimes slow and annoying. I guess ultimately it does work well though, it's just tedious. But you get a smooth pour of that white gold... like sweet sweet freedom.
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10
A thickener made from corn, what more could you want? Actually I was expecting a different brand when I went to the store, but this is the only one. It's interesting the color signals -- all corn starches are yellow with blue tops -- and I wonder who started it. Anyway, this was used to thicken some strawberries for a dessert topping, and it did its duty. No taste, which is the desired situation, although I may have used too much because the sauce ended up kinda gritty (lol). The FAQ from Argo (no allergens here except corn!) talks a lot about pica, which is interesting. Is corn starch dirt? Apparently for some!
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste?: 6/10
Feeling very "woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown", I look to the cookie. Also I needed shortbread cookies for the crust of a cheesecake bar. Somehow, I never had these before, even though they're nut free and presumably have been around for some time. I think the reason is that shortbread sucks and is boring (for a cookie). The texture is pleasantly crumbly, but the taste is, like, burnt butter (and not in a sugary way, which would be the good way). Chessmen are vastly superior, I guess because they're less burnt and more sugary, even though their texture is nothing to write blogs about. Anyway, I ended up going with Lorna Doone for the crust because they're cheaper per ounce (although still bafflingly expensive; like 9$/box), but maybe shortbread just isn't my flavor of choice since I didn't love those either (the daily meal ranks them in total opposition; those are the only two options I'm not allergic to, so it's nice I can reject both ends of the scale). Really I'm into cookies for sugar, not for butter and/or toffee (maybe my least British trait). That said, I do still love Dublin.
Overall
Cost: 4/10 [5.49$]
Taste: 6/10
Finally facing my waterloo...
This flavor is, as expected, not my favorite. It doesn't taste like medicine, or even really artificial/chemical (in a bad way), but it does taste exactly like those cute little strawberry wrapper hard candies, except not sweet and not a candy and instead a slightly bitter fizzy water. So that's...not my favorite. But it's OK. Something to drink, anyway.
Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 5/10
Finally, my local veg box has provided me....local veg! I didn't take a picture of it, but the cauliflower head I got was massive. Definitely bigger than my own head, which is pretty big as human heads go (or so I am told). It tasted also like cauliflower, and had no bugs (that I saw) or big brown spots or really any imperfections at all. Just a few tender leaves. It was so big that I failed to cook it fully the first time around and had to boil it since I was too impatient for Steaming 300 Lbs of Cauli A Second Time. But it was good. Big and good, what I strive to be. Also Blogger cum Google is asking me to insert smart search links here. That sounds like a possible AI nightmare, but let's give it a go to see what we're up against, yeah? Because I'm fortified with cauliflower (and nothing else).
I feel like I haven't had a veg in years, mostly because I can't spare 20 minutes to cook one lately but partially because my veg box is sending bread instead of veg. Anyway, this is nice. Feels like coming home, even if it's Canadian. Also, eating veg is such a privilege. Well, eating anything is a privilege. (I'm really bad at gratitude, except for when it comes to food.) Bless these carrots! They taste like carrot, were a good size (long but not too thick), fresh, no sliminess, all good things. So many carrot producers up north! We grew carrots just once at my house but they were 90% eaten by bunnies, which is cute in its own way.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
Time for my least favorite carb, potato! Red Robin the resto is allergy-friendly, so presumably Red Robin the frozen fries are too (this is a faulty presumption in general but nevertheless?). These are thick and seasoned. They take 24 minutes to cook. That's a long time. They taste like mid potato. The seasoning doesn't really come through, which is just fine for me. A vessel for ketchup. No death. Fine.
Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10
There are things to like about this: no soy at all, a slogan of "pizza just for you" (damn straight), cheap, and multiple cooking options (I chose 3min microwave because my last Digiorno personal pizza had negligible oven gains). It's 740 calos per serving, which is a little high for my current lifestyle (bound to cause minor bodily distress), but surely better than a non-[pizza-just-for-me]. So - filling, convenient, safe. Pretty tasty, although there's a lot of bread and the sauce is the usual weirdly sweet digiorno sauce. But the ronis are good and it's ultimately cheesy bread, so yeah. Solid stuff.
Overall
Cost: 5/10 [4$ish?]
Taste: 6/10
