Schmidt Old Tyme Whole Wheat Bread

I randomly got this in my weekly veg box, even though I didn't order it, it's clearly not a veg, and it wasn't even listed on the website as an add-on option. Did a delivery person just drop in their own shopping by accident? Is it an elaborate plot to poison me? Or, more likely, was it just a weird coding error? Banking on the last one I decided to try it, since I'm not allergic (per the label, anyway), and I've been getting Old Tyme buns. I do love a gamble. 

It tastes like normal wheat bread. This is a good thing, by the by. No weird stuff, no corn syrup, no seeds, normal texture (fluffy), not buttery, huzzah. Tasty plain with butter. However the ingredients on the bag do list "wheat protein isolate" (which I'm not allergic to, it just stands out because Protein Isolate), and none of the Old Tyme breads online do... and this is bread, expires within a week, so it's not like they're slowly transitioning the packaging, right? But, maybe they made a lot of extra bags or something and that's why they're mystery dropping them in veg boxes. The crust also tastes a little like rye, though there is no rye in the ingredos (online or in real life). Lowkey stressful but a solid bread that I would buy in an official store now that I've tried it in a shady unofficial capacity (assuming, as always, that I survive). :) 

Overall
Cost: ???/10
Taste: 6/10 

Stouffer's Signature Sides - Scalloped Potatoes

This might seem like a crazy thing to buy when you can get a box of au gratin potatoes for way way cheaper, but turns out, those boxes contain soy protein/pea protein now. What the heck! So, OK, we'll give the freezer variety a try. Stouffer's is good for allergy stuff in my experience, and this only has milk and wheat. It's basically just potato and parm with a few seasonings. This is 4 servings (in theory; feels like 2 in practice) and you cook it in the microwave. Doesn't sound like the peak of food culture, but it tastes good. More cheese than potato, which is a definite plus. Then again, parm is an aged cheese, so maybe I shouldn't go too hard on this. There are some chewy bits (i.e. pure cheese) in addition to the more milky sauce, but not a lot of "gratin" to speak of. (I guess that's why they went with "scalloped" for the name). When cooking it smelled a bit like canned tomato soup, which is nasty, but the taste was overall "solid". Very similar to their vegetable lasagna sauce actually. Hm. 

Overall
Cost: 4/10 [9$?!]
Taste: 7/10

Pringles Everything Bagel

From one unsatisfying chip to another! These intrigued me because they're an everything bagel flavor that doesn't contain sesame, or indeed any other seeds (although there is onion and garlic and corn). When I was very little, before my seed allergy took root, I really liked everything bagels. But it turns out, this doesn't taste like everything or bagel. It mostly tastes like a popcorn ball. Weird salty puffed grain flavor. Like a Quaker Rice Cake. With a little potato aftertaste. I guess from the can picture, cream cheese is part of their "everything" conception, which could account for the... sour? puffed grain notes. But the bread does not come through. Frankly, the garlic and onion don't even come through, and they're in the actual ingredients! That being said, it's not offensive or horrible, it just doesn't taste like what it ought to. Silly Mr Pringle. This is also one of the worst reviewed Pringle flavors out there, which made me smile. The people want authenticity in their flavor labelling!

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Kettle Brand Potato Chips - Sea Salt

I've probably waxed on about this before, but some people get (what I view as) performatively lusty for potato products. Like "oooh tater tots/chips/fries/mash/hash browns :9999999999". I cannot relate to those people because I think potatoes are "okay". I love carbs, don't get me wrong, but potatoes just don't scratch any itch for me. The bacon-obsessed bros or the cheese obsessed wine moms were more relatable (even though I view those obsessions as a little performative too). What's that? Others think my Dunkin obsession is performative AND disgustingly corporate? Well, that's fine. They can write about that in their own little blogs then. Frankly, it's good to have a special interest, and the potato people are lucky because potatoes ARE very versatile. The problem with these chips is I see them as (oily salty) pure essence of potato. The only flavor note is "potato chip". The texture is nice and gentle, but the taste is sooooo boring to me. And this is supposed to be a treat? I resent that. As plain chips go, Kettle Brand is aces for their allergy info and thickness (thin=less potato flavor per cubit), but the only reason I buy these as school snacks is they're portable (and safe). 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

YumEarth Sour Littles

I don't like nominal "littles", but I do like sour patch kids, and allergy free candy, so this seems promising. Now that many of the allergy free companies have shut down or reduced/changed their products (enjoy life, built bars, madegood, etc), yumearth is really holding the line. Are they any good? Sometimes. These little packs are only 50 calos, and they're also vegan and dye free, so at least they're inclusive. The actual product is no sour patch kid, though. It tastes like their regular gummies (weirdly tropical fruit heavy) with some sour sugar sprinkles on top (but not that sour). The strawberry tastes like kiwi (which is OK, but gives me allergy stress, ironically enough), the lemon tastes like soapy armpits (very bizarre), and the blue raspberry tastes like blue raspberry (hey, 1/3 ain't bad). Oh well, they tried. The texture is also much chewier than a sour patch lad. If I could eat only the blue ones, I'd be feelin' good!

Overall
Cost: 5/10 [1$ per tiny bag]
Taste: 5/10 

Gerbs Jumbo Unsalted Roasted Snow White Pumpkin Seeds

2 pounds of pumpkin seeds seems like a lot, especially when you look at the huge bag they come in, but it turns out that's NOT a lot at all! It's really only like 12 quarter-cup servings! Anyway, last fall I got pretty far with the funky rancid salted seeds, so I decided to try some slight variations on the theme. These are great to bring to school because they're filling and portable, and every single G D meeting is a lunch meeting with free lunches I'm allergic to so it helps the awkwardness if I bring something to eat for myself. Unlike the previous ones I tried, these don't have any rancid flavor. They do have a hella boring flavor, but that's okay. I could always add my own seasonings, but I'm not there yet. They are hard to chew is the worst part, but persistence is key. Some of them are extra roasted and those ones actually taste good. Good source of magnesium, fiber, probably other stuff. Good. These are replacing my Meat Sticks, I think. I'm already halfway through the bag! Zounds! And Gerb's is top 8 allergy free; great stuff, wish they sold more things actually.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Strawberry

Ahoy there, friends. I played myself by looking at other people's reviews of this, because there's one that just says it caused an allergic reaction in both their kids with no followup!! Are those kids allergic to legumes?? Are there secret legumes in here??? Am I about to perish!??? (Yes, I am a high-anxiety consumer, but it's also so easy to accidentally consume an allergen, man, especially in 2025 America.)

Anyway, let's pretend that review doesn't exist, since I haven't had any General Mills labelling issues yet, and I also already ate this. It smells really good, like a sweet vanilla/strawberry dessert. Alas the taste does not live up to the smell. It's got a little bit of... not artificial, but like, freeze-dried? flavor to it, which makes sense given the medium of cereal, but is why the original flavor is still superior and cereals should stop trying to do fruit-flavored versions. Augh, my lips are so tingly, but it's probably just from the rough cinnamon texture. Right?!?!?

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 (I did not perish)

Ben's Original Ready Rice - Lemon & Herb

After a long week of misery, I turned to this 90 second microwavable rice. Truly, you can't beat it for convenience. The taste was fully "fine". Lemony, which is not necessarily what I want in a rice, but it was unobjectionable. Same Ben's texture. Didn't kill me. Was filling, which is good because it was all I could work up the energy to make/eat for the day. Thanks, rice! But I probably won't buy this again -- the 'Spanish rice' flavor is still the mark to beat. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 6/10 

Land O Lakes Butter with Canola Oil

This is my go-to butter spread for every (non-baking) use. My parents were big margarine people growing up (as were many people in the 90s, so I read), but I never used it on anything because I thought the taste was gross. Come to find out as an adult that margarine is probably worse for you, health-wise, as long as you aren't downing a tub of it every week. Good intuitions, babby!me. Anyway, this tastes like butter, but the oil makes it spready. Good for frying eggs, good for bagel (rip bagel era), good for oatmeal (my current daily brekkie). Usually affordable, and I usually finish a tub right before it expires. Another gift from the land o' lakes lady--wait, where'd she go?! 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [3$ish]
Taste: 7/10 

San Pellegrino Ciao! - Peach

I wisely saved the worst for last with this flavor. As expected, it tastes like those candy peach rings, which is a weird flavor I don't like. Also tastes very similar to the peach waterloo, but slightly sweeter/more intense. The funny thing is, this is actual peach juice - not artificial like the waterloo (and I assume the peach candies), so although it tastes not at all like peaches to me, it IS peaches. Another instance of foolishness by yours truly, I guess! Anyway, if you like that flavor, you'll love this. I just miss the nice lime one. Or even the cherry at this point. No allergy issues though. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 5/10 

Galbani Whole Milk Ricotta Cheese - Double Cream

Shew. I really wanted Single Cream ricotta, but I was in a minor crowd crush in the dairy aisle so I grabbed this and skedaddled. The plus side is, it tastes amazing: very creamy! But it's also, like, 1000calos per container, and as it's surely one of many fatty dairy ingredos in your pasta and/or dessert, that's not great when it comes Tummy Turmoil (not to mention heartburn and brain weirdness). Usually I get part-skim ricotta, but my latest lasagna recipe was very Use Whole Milk Or Else, thus why I ended up in this predicament. Hopefully I live to try the single cream version someday. This is also my first Galbani, I think, so there's a lotta confounds. But the taste was undeniably good. 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 7/10 

International Delight Cold Foam - Pumpkin Spice

Uck! This is bad. And not just because I'm tired of Pumpkin Spice -- in fact, this is so chemically and weird that I could hardly ID it as any flavor at all. After a few sips I had to dump my coffee and throw this out. Artificial, disturbing, made me feel like I'm gonna die. No bueno.

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 2/10 

Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats - Pumpkin Pie Spice

First week of September and I am officially burned out on pumpkin spice flavor. Why is this the thing that gets so many products, and not sweet sweet winter peppermint? Ah well. These are pretty much your standard mini wheats, except with some (not too overpowering) pumpkin space flavor. It is very similar to the pumpkin spice cookie, coffee, etc etc flavor. Allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg. The frosting is a bright orange color, which is disconcerting. (Not red 40 though.) These are very filling as cereals go, which is good. I still like the eager little mini wheat character. He existed pre-AI but I worry that in the future I'll be scared to like any cute little food mascots because I'm not a great (visual) AI-detector :( 

Overall
Cost: 5/10
Taste: 6/10 

Gushers Blueberry Grape / Sour Blue Raspberry

Never has a fruit snack made me feel so foolish, and I struggled through the fruit roll-ups pizza construction in the 90s. IDK if it's because I'm colorblind or what, but all the gushers in each package here are the same color blue. The box shows two distinct blue colors, but it does not translate to the real deal. So then what flavor(s) am I eating!? You'd think I could tell via "tasting", but I'm not sure. Some are definitely grape-y, and those I like less. Some are a sort of sour berry (blue raspberry, I suppose), and those are delicious. Is blueberry part of the grape ones and each of the two BlueberryGrape and SourRazz are in each package? Or are there Blueberry & Grape packs and Sour Razz packs?! Or is every gusher a mix of Blueberry, Grape, and Sour Razz? The more of them I eat, the less I know, because the non-sour ones don't all have the same "grape" note, so I don't think the BlueberryGrape flavor, if that is indeed a flavor, is stable. Even without the mystery, this is one of the best gushers I've had. Well, there aren't that many different ones, so it's probably the best. That's all due to the sour berry flavor, whereever it resides! Gush on! The only downside is that if I eat these at school, my mouth is blue.

Overall
Cost: 6/10
Taste: 7/10 

On The Border Tortilla Rounds

Ahoy! After living on chips and sweets for a week, thank god it's the weekend so I can actually cook something (soup) and then put.... chips on it. Ha ha. I don't even like tortilla chips, but I'm a slave to the recipe, what can I say. One thing I can say is that I got this style ("rounds") instead of the nice café style I got last time because I wanted to try something different. But as is often the case, different is worse. These aren't flaky at all. No layers. Just salty, salty corn (said in Vanessa Bayer's "wet wet mud" cadence). It's fine for soup-complementing, but as a snack food, they don't interest me. Although they are perfectly standard, and firmer than Tostitos with better allergy history, so go for it if you like tortilla chips. A good oily sheen, too. 

Overall
Cost: 6/10 [<3$, which is good nowadays]
Taste: 6/10